April 2020 Moms

November PGAL Discussion

This is an open discussion thread for those who are pregnant after a previous loss or losses.




How is everyone doing?

Re: November PGAL Discussion

  • Baby(ies?) movements have been felt this morning and that is awesome! 1 week until my anatomy scan. 
  • That's so exciting @mandarenee898!!!  I think I've felt this babe move a couple times but I can't wait for it to be definitive and on the reg.  
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  • Really need to get some work done on the room so I feel more grounded in everything, since we didn't do it for Spencer. 
    I ordered the stuffed animals for DD to give to DS2 and vice versa. We had done a giraffe for her to give to Spencer and a Unicorn for him to give her, but they sit on our dresser now with his shadow box and some other things. I wanted to do the same idea for this babe. Got a dalmation for her to give him, and a Sloth holding a heart for him to give her. 
    Since our daughters favorite sleep blanket is a sloth and she had heart surgery, it felt perfect.
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • @KFrob I just felt “for sure” the first time last week. Not regular at all so for now just loving it when I do feel it. It is such a beautiful feeling and I never thought we’d be pregnant again after our loss so it does fill me with so much joy. 

    @smallbutmighty77 That is so special and thoughtful. I love that the giraffe and unicorn are there for your DD to see that connection with Spencer.  And the sloth holding a heart sounds adorable. 
  • Having some anxiety this week. Friday we take DD to the childrens hospital for genetic testing. We expect it to be positive that she has the condition I have- since we both have heart conditions, but I still have guilt about passing something down I didn't know about- and just hope they see no other issues from it.

    *TW*
    I also have a fetal echo on Monday- usually those are at the hospital connected to the women's hospital. This time they are having me do it at the womens hospital. The last time I was there was the day we walked out without our son. The day he passed away. So I am having a lot of emotions about being there by myself. I know we will deliver the new baby there- and I didn't want my first time back to be for that- but I am just anxious about how I will feel.
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • mandarenee898mandarenee898 member
    edited November 2019
    @smallbutmighty77 All very good cause for anxiety. Hoping that all can go as best as it can for your daughter. Guilt can be consuming, but it is powerful and logic doesn’t usually overturn it for me. I’m just guessing that you don’t blame your parents for yours, and if that is the case maybe that will help you not blame yourself. 

    Also @smallbutmighty77 before we were able to go through IVF after our daughter was stillborn we had to do a pre-pregnancy assessment and it was at the hospital we had her in that we hadn’t been back to since we left without her. It was hard and I wish I had thought about how I might feel before that day. Sometimes the anxiety helps prepare you too so it isn’t all bad to be thinking ahead. They sent me back there a couple weeks ago for an ultrasound, and it didn’t sting as much the second time being back. We are also delivering these babies at the same place as DD. I’ll be thinking of you on Friday and Monday and hope that both days go better than you can imagine. 
  • PGAL brain acting up today. I feel the baby or babies once every couple days and I just want to feel them all the time to know they are ok, alive and kicking. We also have our anatomy scan on Monday, since they are doing a level 2 ultrasound they are having us go to the hospital where DD was stillborn. I’m having a lot of anxiety that logic thinking just isn’t combating. I think the first words out of my mouth on Monday are going to be “first confirm they are both alive with heartbeats, then you can do whatever you need to do!”
  • @smallbutmighty77 hoping all went as best as it could on Friday for DD. Thinking of you today with and hope the fetal echo goes well. 
  • @mandarenee898 I totally get your being back in that place fear. Had the echo today which luckily looked good, but still have to go back later when they can see more.

    I actually stopped at the NICU to see our overseeing  nurse who was with us the whole time and it made me feel better about being back there and when I will actually deliver. 

    Finger crossed everything is great for you.
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • @mandarenee898 I hope everything went well!!
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • mandarenee898mandarenee898 member
    edited November 2019
    @smallbutmighty77 that is so nice you were able to see your nurse.  I call the nurses that were with us while in labor with our stillborn DD our “angels” as they were so amazing.  I’m glad the echo went well and hopefully when you have to go back again it goes great and you don’t have to go back for another echo.

    As far as our anatomy scan went - we have two healthy babies!  Before I got on the table I said “I’m sorry but could you please just check that both babies have heartbeats first?”  Once she confirmed two babies and two heartbeats, my anxiety level went way down.  Once two healthy babies (as far as the scan can tell) were confirmed - we were overjoyed!  Oh - and we are having a boy and a girl!  
  • Ahhhh @mandarenee898 congratulations on a boy and a girl! And more importantly a great healthy scan.

    @smallbutmighty77 how are you doing? Good news on the echo and glad you were able to get some time with the NICU nurse.

    We have our second anatomy scan tomorrow and I am hoping everything looks great. I spoke with prenatal genetics last week and they are very hopeful based on the 15w scan.
  • @doraleigh35 thank you! I agree, we were so excited for what appears to be perfectly healthy babies. That’s all we pray for, that they go to term, they are healthy and alive to bring home with us.

    I’m hoping that your 2nd anatomy scan went well and that everything looks great.  
  • Second anatomy scan went perfect. Baby is healthy and has no signs of any issues. We were cleared by genetics!

    Looking forward to getting past 22w (when we lost DS) in a few weeks, but feeling really good! Just been dealing with a lot of other stuff IRL so I have been a bit MIA.
  • @doraleigh35 yay for being cleared by genetics.  What a relief that will be. And getting past the 22 weeks will be bittersweet with being happy for this baby but thinking of your other baby boy too. I totally get going MIA just helps channel your focus to what is a higher priority!
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