@literatureandink I laboured in the bath for a while, so was naked. When I got out, I had a gown on, but as the baby got closer, the nurse suggested undoing the snaps so it would be easy for immediate skin to skin. At that point, I was hot from pushing, so asked for them to take it right off and spent the last bit (and skin to skin time) naked.
@literatureandink I know it sounds really weird and awkward, but trust me. After having every nurse and your obgyn all working between your legs to help you give birth, it will no longer feel bizarre to wear practically nothing. Plus if you plan to breastfeed then they will be in the room showing you what to do and making sure your baby is latching correctly. Modesty kind of goes out the window.
@literatureandink Full on during delivery, with a blanket during skin to skin.
Because I had a midwife, I knew her well, and the only people in the room were the midwife, my husband, our doula, and two nurses. Normally it would be just the one nurse assigned to me, but I started pushing while she was on lunch, and her relief nurse asked my permission to stay. So I didn’t have to worry about random people coming and going.
Also, these doctors and nurses have seen it all. They deliver babies every single day. They usually do their best to make you feel comfortable because they’re used to it.
That makes sense! I’m just a super modest person who has nightmares about being naked so it seems so weird and scary to just be naked in the middle of a room.
@literatureandink It was definitely my choice to be naked... and I’ve heard that if someone is quite modest, the staff will help make sure you’re comfortable. Just mention it to your nurse when you get admitted
@literatureandink I'm trying to figure this out too because we're planning on a water birth at a birthing centre, but realistically will need to be ready for a hospital too just in case anything goes wrong. I'm going to see if I can find a comfy nursing-friendly bathing suit top and just be nekid from the waist down for in the tub, but I guess I'll just use a hospital gown if we get transferred?
I’m more comfortable being nakey waist down because obviously the baby has to come out and it’s easy enough to throw something over your waist, I feel more uneasy about being exposed waist up. I might do a sports bra under a hospital gown but who knows? Maybe I’ll be in labor and not care at all!
@literatureandink I’m super modest too. I don’t even like being naked when I’m alone. You don’t really have a choice on the bottoms. I wore a nursing bra under the hospital gown as much as I could. I think I actually took it off during the big event, but I’m really not sure. I know I wore the bra the rest of the day. I kicked everyone except the medical professionals and DH out a lot, especially with all the attempts at breastfeeding. My mom got really annoyed that she kept having to leave the room.
@literatureandink Obviously do what make sure you comfortable, but you may want to rethink the sports bra for a couple of reasons (at least as you get close to delivering... wear whatever is comfortable for labour!). One is that you may have an IV, and then it’d be difficult to get the bra on/off (the gowns they can usually snap up around the IV). Also, when the baby is born, you’ll likely want to have your chest bare (maybe something around your shoulders if you’re cold), and then you’d both be covered with warm blankets. It just makes it easier to do skin to skin and nurse, if you want to try (I know some moms don’t, so don’t want to assume). You could still be covered, but you’ll probably want the babe right in your chest nice and close
@literatureandink I had just the hospital gown on. The ones at my hospital unsnap at the top so you can keep it on and breastfeed. The nurse had me unsnap it just before I started to push I think so that I could just pull it down for skin to skin. The with skin to skin I pulled the blankets up over me and babe. I don't know why I think this but I think they will let you keep a sports bra or nursing bra on as long as there is no metal. Like others have said in the middle of it you definitely much careless about who sees what.
@literatureandink, I hate not wearing a bra so I kept my bra on under the gown and no underwear for obvious reasons.
The IV was removed fairly soon after delivery so I didn't have an issue there. I was able to pull the cup down to try her at the breast sortly after birth and it didn't effect skin to skin.
Just do whatever feels comfortable to you at the time.
@literatureandink Same about the modesty! I hate naked people and being naked. Going without underwear makes me hella uncomfortable. But I during delivery and after I totally did. not. care. It wasn't that they're doctors and nurses and are used to it, I was just to the point where anything to get that baby out would be preferable.
I brought my own labor gown and it was really nice to feel like I was wearing something real. Also it was super soft and had easy access for the epidural and IVs and baby monitors. Definitely doing that again. It's worth it to me.
I am also planning to bring my own labor gown and one or two options in case they try to put up a fuss about it. I need to be in my own clothes to be comfortable.
I'm pretty modest, and also being very overweight I have a lot of anxiety surrounding situations where wearable things are provided (think airplane seat belts, boat life vest, spa robe, hotel pool towels, etc.). Even when it fits (RARE), it is supremely awkward to ask for larger sizes and struggle with trying things on. Of course my rational brain KNOWS the hospital gowns will be fine, my emotional brain sends anxiety signals.
I like to wear crop tank tops under a lot of shirts to cover the cleavage since so many shirts and dresses are cut so low. I ended up wearing that along with a nursing nightgown I found on amazon. They worked with me when getting the epidural on going under the nightgown and taping it on my back.
This time we are doing a c section so I’ll probably be naked since it is surgery. I may try to see if I can wear the crop top again... But really my modesty with healthcare professionals is completely gone after going through labor before.
Any advice for a FTM with a furry child at home? I was told by a family member to have MH bring home the receiving blanket before the baby comes home so the puppy knows the baby’s scent. Any experience with this?
@ejoseph16 We very gently introduced the puppies to DS. When we got home, DH put the dogs outside while I brought DS in. When we let the dogs in, we let them smell him.
@ejoseph16 DH took the hat they put on the baby when he came out, and brought it home to the dog while we were still at the hospital. Then when we arrived home, we took turns going in, so he could see each of us, while the other waited outside. Then we brought the baby in, and left him in the car seat for a few minutes while giving lots of attention to the dog. Then we finally got the baby out, and let him smell the feet, then gave him attention and treats. He was really curious, and quickly decided it was his baby, and that he should supervise everything... diaper changes, how we soothes him when crying, etc.
We had been worried, since he doesn’t like many kids, but he adores ours because it’s part of his pack.
@ejoseph16 Thanks for asking this one! We have two dogs and a cat so we have our work cut out for us with introductions. I think we're going to do the blanket/hat method so they can smell baby first. I'll be doing a lot of my early labour at home around them, so they'll at least know something is up, but one of our puppers will still be under a year so she'll probably have the most adjusting to do. The other two had to get used to her already so I think they'll be okay.
Was there anything you didn't think you would need for baby/yourself post-partum that you actually did really need? This is kind of registry-based I guess, but some more personal items I probably won't put on my registry.
@korthouse personally, I found adult diapers better than the mesh panties/pads for the first week postpartum. Lol not the most flattering thing but worked better for me. Tucks wipes were amazing and loved the peri bottle. I kept a postpartum kit in every bathroom. If breastfeeding, sooo much lanolin and a nipple shield.
Diagnosed PCOS 2013
7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017 Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
I’m having a c-section and would love any tips and tricks or ideas for personal care to have at home.
I had a vaginal delivery before, with a 2nd degree tear and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
For vaginal care: 1. Earth Mama Perineal Balm I recommend that 100%. It has cooling properties and is soothing (like a salve). Loved this!
2. My friend recommended the Dermoplast (BLUE bottle) pain and itch spray that is super cooling - I used that when I didn’t want to put the balm on and that cooled the area more than the balm.
3. Wipes of your choice, whether the flushable wipes found in the toilet paper aisle or regular baby wipes — I preferred those to toilet paper and carried them in my purse the first week or so.
4. Always overnight pads, purple, maxi (not the thin). I had about 2 days of the mesh underwear and pads the hospital sent me home with and then I used these. They kinda feel like wearing a diaper but never had one leakage incident with them.
Also have Tylenol, Advil and stool softener on hand. My dr had me on a Tylenol and Advil regiment (switching up every so many hours) and was told to take stool softener daily as well.
I was convinced my kid was going to sleep in the crib in his room, which is more like an en suite to ours. I sent DH out for a Halo bassinet the minute we left the hospital.
Also my mom. I'm a very independent person and didn't think I'd want anyone around but DH for at least two weeks. We called my mom from the hospital and asked her to stay for a couple days.
Like @mysteryship said, the breastfeeding pillow was so helpful. I wouldn't have lasted through the beginning without mine (my breast friend). And nipple shields! I had flat nipples apparently, so it would have been awful without them.
I’m a FTM but a maternity nurse so I feel like I could answer a few questions about how our hospital does things anyways.
We don’t have a specific nursery to take babies to overnight so parents can sleep.. but we do offer to take the babies for a few hours if we have time and can tell the parents are exhausted. We have a small room by our desk we can watch them in. It’s rare we have a baby for more than 3 hours.. but 3 hours can be a lot of sleep at this point!
As for feeding.. we are trying to become baby friendly which yes revolves around breastfeeding. I don’t feel like any of our staff are pushy though. If you come in and your plan is to bottle feed.. that’s that. I never try to convince parents otherwise. I think people feel “pushed” maybe if they came in with the plan of breastfeeding and it’s not going well and they want to give up.. but we encourage to keep trying (because that was their goal). If any of you try BF and then realize in the hospital it’s just not for you and you know you won’t continue it at home.. just be completely honest and say that.
For birthing “attire”. Most of our patients just wear hospital gowns. Underwear on when up and moving. I prefer my labour patients to not wear bras for a few reasons.. if you want an epidural it has to be off and in the case of an emergency (stat c/s) it’s just another thing to worry about and wastes precious time! Definitely bring a robe to wear over the gown when walking around (our hospital provides some) and wear your own clothes post partum if you want! Lots of our patients labour in the tubs .. if you’re uncomfortable just ask for a towel to cover up with. After delivery we normally just pull the gown right off for skin to skin and cover with warm blankets. It’s actually way easier if it’s just off while pushing. Whatever your comfort level is! Just know naked bodies do not phase us one bit!!! Lol! Also I would not want to be wearing my own clothes or bra for delivery .. they get nasty! (Think every type of bodily fluid possible.. plus the vernix from the baby)
Another word of advice.. limit your visitors in the hospital!! This is your time to recover, sleep, get help with newborn care etc. Most people are already exhausted from labour ... then they are bombarded with visitors all day. If you feel uncomfortable asking people to leave then try to privately ask your nurse to kick them out.. they’ll come up with an excuse for them to leave! (Assessment, feeding time, teaching, etc!)
Maybe a question more for TTMs. If you had other kids at home with you, any good activities to keep them entertained? My son will be 2.5 then and I'm pretty sure we're not going to have him in daycare for a few weeks. How hard was it having 2 kids at home in the beginning?
@Kathryn0903 my DD was about that age when I had DS. That’s when I created the activity boxes. I separated her toys so she wasn’t playing with the same ones every day, and I had boxes of puzzles, crafts, coloring, and books all separated so I could pull a different one out each day. Each box would usually entertain her long enough for me to breastfeed or do other things around the house. And then during other feedings I would also plan to feed DD at the same time so she could sit in the kitchen while I was on the couch with the baby, and then the tv would come on in the evening before bed.
Every day was different and came with it’s own challenges, but your son will learn with you. He’ll realize that he’s not the only one that can have all your attention and then learn to entertain himself when you’re busy. I totally understand your worry though. I even had a little guilt prior to birth because I was sad for my DD. It wasn’t just gonna be her anymore, but we all knew it would be for the better. And now she loves her brother and is VERY excited for the new baby
@emsned that's a good idea. I know I'll have grandparent help if needed after DH's paternity leave is over, but I also want to try to do this on my own.
@emsned and @Kathryn0903 We moved about a month after DD2 was born and had to switch DD1s daycare so she stayed home until maternity/paternity leave was over. It was hard and I'm happy the kids will be in daycare with this babe and have so much respect for stay at home parents! We definitely had better days when there was more structure and I had an activity planned for her. We did a bunch of arts and crafts and that time together gave her the attention she was craving. Pinterest was great for ideas.
@Kathryn0903 when we brought DD home, we kept DS in daycare. He was 2 and honestly, I am so glad we kept him in daycare on his normal schedule. Obviously there are other factors like cost that come into play but if you can swing it, even keeping 2-3 days will help him with consistency, keep him stimulated and allow also one-on-bonding. If going back to work, will also help with the transition.
We will be keeping both DS and DD in daycare at least for the 6 weeks I’ll get short-term disability. I’ll probably drop them to 3 days a week but it will be good for them to have somewhat of their normal schedule and for me to have solo time with the baby.
Diagnosed PCOS 2013
7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017 Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
If we take DD out of daycare, we lose our spot and no promise it will be there when we want to go back, so she is staying put.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
I'm pretty sure we don't lose our spot, but we're going to have that conversation with them. DH is cheap and doesn't want DS in daycare to save money. I get it especially with me getting pregnant 1-2 months earlier than planned.
We’re in the same boat as @smallbutmighty77. We have a great daycare, but they will not hold the spot if we pull him out. I’m pretty sure it’s because they have a long waitlist. Not sure that I would pull him out anyway, because he really needs that consistency.
Wondering if any other TTMs or more have had a longer labor after a short labor? Or have all your labors gotten shorter each time? And if labor did get longer, what were the circumstances or differences from when you had a short labor?
Asking because my time in labor with my first was a few hours, and then I had to push for almost 2 hours after I reached 10 cm. But with my second I was only in active labor for about 40 minutes and then my body basically pushed the baby out on its own after 2 contractions. Am I even gonna make it to the hospital this time around? I’m worried my water will break and the baby will just come out right then and there.
Re: BTDT - Questions for STM+s/Advice to FTMs
Because I had a midwife, I knew her well, and the only people in the room were the midwife, my husband, our doula, and two nurses. Normally it would be just the one nurse assigned to me, but I started pushing while she was on lunch, and her relief nurse asked my permission to stay. So I didn’t have to worry about random people coming and going.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
The IV was removed fairly soon after delivery so I didn't have an issue there. I was able to pull the cup down to try her at the breast sortly after birth and it didn't effect skin to skin.
Just do whatever feels comfortable to you at the time.
I brought my own labor gown and it was really nice to feel like I was wearing something real. Also it was super soft and had easy access for the epidural and IVs and baby monitors. Definitely doing that again. It's worth it to me.
I'm pretty modest, and also being very overweight I have a lot of anxiety surrounding situations where wearable things are provided (think airplane seat belts, boat life vest, spa robe, hotel pool towels, etc.). Even when it fits (RARE), it is supremely awkward to ask for larger sizes and struggle with trying things on. Of course my rational brain KNOWS the hospital gowns will be fine, my emotional brain sends anxiety signals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
We had been worried, since he doesn’t like many kids, but he adores ours because it’s part of his pack.
personally, I found adult diapers better than the mesh panties/pads for the first week postpartum. Lol not the most flattering thing but worked better for me. Tucks wipes were amazing and loved the peri bottle. I kept a postpartum kit in every bathroom. If breastfeeding, sooo much lanolin and a nipple shield.
Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
1. Earth Mama Perineal Balm I recommend that 100%. It has cooling properties and is soothing (like a salve). Loved this!
I also thought I could get away without a breastfeeding pillow but ordered one the day we got home with him. It was really helpful.
Also my mom. I'm a very independent person and didn't think I'd want anyone around but DH for at least two weeks. We called my mom from the hospital and asked her to stay for a couple days.
Like @mysteryship said, the breastfeeding pillow was so helpful. I wouldn't have lasted through the beginning without mine (my breast friend). And nipple shields! I had flat nipples apparently, so it would have been awful without them.
Every day was different and came with it’s own challenges, but your son will learn with you. He’ll realize that he’s not the only one that can have all your attention and then learn to entertain himself when you’re busy. I totally understand your worry though. I even had a little guilt prior to birth because I was sad for my DD. It wasn’t just gonna be her anymore, but we all knew it would be for the better. And now she loves her brother and is VERY excited for the new baby
We will be keeping both DS and DD in daycare at least for the 6 weeks I’ll get short-term disability. I’ll probably drop them to 3 days a week but it will be good for them to have somewhat of their normal schedule and for me to have solo time with the baby.
Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
Asking because my time in labor with my first was a few hours, and then I had to push for almost 2 hours after I reached 10 cm. But with my second I was only in active labor for about 40 minutes and then my body basically pushed the baby out on its own after 2 contractions. Am I even gonna make it to the hospital this time around? I’m worried my water will break and the baby will just come out right then and there.