@mamaj1220 alright I know how I'm spending my morning now haha
@shamrocandroll@jhysmath I like to think that it isn't the OB herself but really the staff and in particular one of the newer girls. She has no idea how to phrase things or do anything so I'm really hoping and praying that's the case this time and everything is actually fine. During my last visit she started off by saying "well based on your LMP your due date should be 4/30 but based on the ultrasound your due date is 5/13 so that is really far off" and making it sound like something must be horribly wrong without asking any questions when I cut her off and told her I knew I ovulated late and that's exactly what I expected so she can just stop talking. If I wouldn't have been tracking I would've obviously been very nervous about that comment. And then she went on to ask if my husband and I have any "generic conditions" in our family (instead of genetic) so honestly how much faith can we put in this lady?
@bananapanda Oh goodness I am lol'ing at "generic conditions". yikes. I think you are absolutely right and you are probably reading the results correctly - fx that is the case at your appointment today!
@bananapanda I’m sorry for your mess. I never heard back with my NIPT results, so sent a message on the portal, and in less than 10 minutes a nurse called apologizing and the going over everything and answering all my questions. Waiting days is not acceptable for a call back. An office I used to go to was like that and I used to think that was just normal, but I’ve worked with two other offices since and both ALWAYS get back to me the same day, even if just to call and say they are looking into it.
I'm adding to randoms instead of searching for the partner rants and raves thread... I just got to work and realized I left my phone at home. Not a huge deal and I can survive the day without, though it's a bit inconvenient as I do use my cell for work while I'm there, and not two minutes later my husband walked into my office and handed me my phone, he'd noticed I'd left it behind and brought it for me!
I was lurking the June 2020 board and there were several comments on how many twins we have in our BMB! You twin mommas are famous! Also, I didn’t see anyone with twins there, maybe I didn’t lurk long enough
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
You guys are not even going to believe what happened at my OB appointment. Get ready for this. Sorry it's so long.
Ok so as you may recall labcorp said the results were sent to the dr as of Thursday morning so Thursday afternoon I called and had to leave a voicemail asking them to please review and call back since you cannot get through to a person and they say "we'll call back within 3 business days" which seems unreasonable to start with. So Friday afternoon still hadn't heard back I was complaining to DH so he does what any good husband would likely do and tries to fix it by calling the office himself. He got through and asked if they had reviewed them. They said no and my dr was out for the day. He called me, I was very upset about the thought of waiting all weekend when I know they had them in office 2 full days at least. So he felt bad, called back and asked if the other dr in the practice could review them since I was so anxious. Again, I didn't think any of this was unreasonable because I have seen both drs and whichever is on call is who delivers even if it isn't who you've seen most of the visits. Sure he may not have been polite, but he didn't cuss anyone out, threaten them or anything crazy. He did mention I was upset with the office and might look elsewhere which was true (and again, I don't think out of line). Ok so then then Tuesday afternoon (basically 3.5 business days later) they call and say I need to come in to discuss results since I was so nervous and the dr couldn't just call I had to come in. So I clear my schedule and went in. They made me wait quite awhile even though no other patients had been back and I heard my dr back there talking and complaining about something. Finally they take me back, my blood pressure was a little high probably because I was anxious for the appointment so the OB walks in with a nurse behind her and says "we need to have a heart to heart" so I'm thinking ok I'm in trouble for having high blood pressure and she's going to make me go on meds or something. But no, she got in my face and just laid into my for DH calling wanting results. She went on and on about how busy she is and she had 34 other patients waiting on results (ok sounds like maybe you need to quit taking on new patients if you can't take care of the ones you have?) and I stopped her and said ok can you just tell me for sure if everything is ok with the baby and instead she goes "I don't know, it might be, but things are NOT OK WITH US!" and is finger jabbing in my face and touching my hand. Her main complaints were that DH asked if the other dr could check results, that he said I might go elsewhere, and that he mentioned the sex of the baby. Obviously we were curious about the sex but more importantly wanted to know if everything was low risk. And even if we did just want to know the sex - she ordered the test and we have a right to the results either way. She continued to yell at me and be in my face even when I tried explaining all of this to her and that it wasn't unreasonable to want my lab results. She said "well your new dr can give them to you". I said ok if you just wanted to tell me you don't want me as a patient over something ridiculous you could've just called instead of wasting my time coming in. She says "no, I had to do this TO YOUR FACE!!" like what even is going on right now in my life? So finally I stood up and said ok I don't have to deal with this I'm leaving and walked out and she chased me out yelling "ok tell me where to send your records, good luck with your pregnancy!" and laughed. All of that was in front of other patients too. It was literally the wildest most unprofessional thing I've seen in my entire life. And I didn't even cry or yell at her. I stayed so calm and didn't say much just because I was so completely blindsided by this entire thing. I literally have no idea what set her off so bad. It's not like we called 80 times or threatened them or said or did anything that I would think was even remotely out of line. Also - even if one voicemail and two calls is COMPLETELY EXCESSIVE I think she could've just called with my results and then during my regular appt next week explained what took so long and why she would appreciate me not calling that often (which might've been enough to make me want to switch anyway because I think getting answers within 1-2 days is reasonable but not 3+). And if she would've just gotten my voicemail Thursday and sent me a quick message in the portal it would've been no big deal. Idk maybe you can let me know if you think I did something out of line, but this was just so nuts. And also clearly didn't help my blood pressure yesterday. And for her to still not even confirm my results? How can she call herself a medical professional after acting like that?
And for anyone who read this far I did ask around and get new recommendations and called and have an appt with a new OB on Monday. He's young and a total hottie which will be probably be awkward, but everyone in his office is so highly recommended that I'll give it a try. So I had to call the crazy OB's office to ask for records to be faxed over and of course had to leave a voicemail and "they'll get back to me within 3 business days" so it should be interesting. If I would've been in my right mind yesterday I should've just asked for my records when I was walking out but clearly I was in shock and didn't think of that until after.
@bananapanda this story is WILD. I can't believe a doctor would say those things to you in such a way, let alone make you come in to personally "break up" with you. From everything you told us it didn't sound like you or your H were asking for anything crazy but simply some reassurance that everything was fine!! I'm so glad you are switching.
@bananapanda That is insane. Not only is it totally unprofessional to make a patient think there could be something wrong with their baby by refusing to give results on the phone and making them come in - it's also cruel. I'm not big on complaining about people, but I'd think about contacting your state licensing board, just so they have it on file. And you have every right to your file, but you may want to just fill out an authorization at your new doctor's office and have them deal with it. That woman has major issues.
Ok thank you for reassuring me that I'm not the crazy one. I wish DH would've gone with me, but he couldn't get out of work yesterday. But as it stands now since she took a nurse in with her since she knew darn well what she had planned now she has a biased "witness" so anything I say I'm sure they'll say I was "lying" and now it's my word against the 2 of them. I am just so glad to be away from them. I was on the verge of wanting to switch before but didn't wanna deal with the pain. Now this takes the decision away lol
And major props to you for not breaking down. I 100% would have cried in your shoes! I can't believe any medical professional would do that to a patient... especially a pregnant one who they should know if anxious and shouldn't be getting themselves stressed out like that. And pointing her finger in your face!? Unreal! I would 100% report her, and definitely makes the decision about switching super easy. I'm so mad for you!!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and you didn't even get your results after all that! I'm just... wow... just wow...
ETA I just noticed how funny "I 100% would have cried in your shoes" sounds.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Holy. Sh!t. Please write reviews everywhere. Google, yelp, your insurance company's portal if that's an option. That is insane and unprofessional and I hope the new doctor is much better.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Ehhhh.... careful on public reviews. She made sure she had a witness and sounds like the type that would take legal action for libel. It's just not worth the risk. But you can give low ratings via a star or number system without saying why.
@ruby696 yea I am nervous of that also. It stinks because I think others deserve to be warned, but also she's legit crazy so who even knows what she will do.
@bananapanda WTH? I'm glad you've found something else after that crazy. Don't bother personally getting your records. Go to the new office and sign a piece of paper so they can get them for you. I wouldn't bother talking to them again and perhaps another practice can get them to answer their phones so you don't have to deal with that.
@bananapanda Others will figure it out. You don't need the stress and anxiety of continuing to have to deal with her, especially while you're trying to enjoy your pregnancy.
@bananapanda you should request a printed copy of your records in person if you don't have most info. in your portal to bring to your new doctor. It can take a few weeks sometimes for the records department to release and send records to a new provider who then has to input them into the system. Also there will be a records release form you need to fill out that lists both the old doctor and the new doctor with your signature.
surprisingly enough the crazy dr office called me back within just an hour or two of me requesting records and said I need to sign something. I'm not at work today so don't have fax information so I'll need to go in and do it. If I do I'm taking DH with me. Interesting though how quickly they can call back when they're trying to get rid of you. I also just realized I can have them fax it to my mom's work since we're going to visit her tonight. So my options are either call back with new fax information or go in later....this is so fun
@bananapanda I’m with everyone else. That’s totally unprofessional and uncalled for just on a humane level. I wish I could say I was surprised, but as someone who works with doctors, I am not surprised. I’m so glad you found out she is crazy now so you have plenty of time to get set up with a REAL doctor who knows how to behave. If you don’t want to go into details but want to warn others, I second the public reviews, but would definitely put a reason. Most people look past a 1 star review unless it contains some explanation. No specifics needed, I would just put a short comment like “unprofessional communication.” There’s nothing wrong with that. Hopefully you get good news when the new doctor gives you the results.
@bananapanda O.M.G. Good for you for not totally breaking down I would have been right back in that Dr.’s face. Definitely time for a new practice if that’s how they act and how they withhold test results you don’t need them. If they are part of a larger group or affiliated with a local hospital you should definitely let them know what happened. I’m sure you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last to be treated with such disrespect. Good luck with your new OB at least it can’t be worse!
@bananapanda Wow! I would think that OB offices get the most phone calls out of any other type of doctor from patients with questions. Probably including a lot of people calling about results and worrying about symptoms, etc. This is something they should be used to!! I agree with the person who said to give an anonymous 1 star rating with a vague “unprofessional” comment that can’t be traced back to you. I hope your new doctor is able to give you your results soon!
@bananapanda that was downright abusive! Refusing to give you your own medical information and insisting you come in just so she can get in your face and yell at you?? Please report her and please make sure you use the word “abusive” in your report. That’s way beyond basic unprofessionalism.
Eta: doctors take an oath to do no harm. She did a lot of harm to you with the way she treated you
So freaking happy it's Friday. Though I wish it meant sleeping in. I'm waiting for the 2nd trimester burst of energy because I've been drained so much this fall. I'm getting so behind in grading for school because I'm spending most of my free prep time researching prognosis and management of each of the things that could be wrong with my pregnancy, and then for a boost of happiness I'm looking at planning what I should get/make everyone for Christmas presents. Please let it be December 6th already.
@jhysmath sorry you are stressing about all of the possibilities of what you might hear in a few weeks. I know that can be exhausting. I'm with you on needing some sleep though. I haven't gotten that burst of energy yet either, and DD has croup so she's been up coughing and fussing most nights. My parents offered to keep her last night after we went for dinner, but for the first time ever DD said no she wanted to go home with mommy. My poor sweet sick girl
I’ve been MIA this week except for a few random comments on stuff. This is the last week of marching season (last competition is tomorrow 🙌🏻) and we were also doing auditions for the spring musical. Also, I prefer desktop Bumping, but it’s not working on Chrome and I don’t love it on mobile.
I honestly don’t want to be that girl that just randomly starts being active after months of silence and just jumping on the scene but the Bump app nor desktop would let me reply to any threads even after contacting them for help. I check lastnight and I’m able to now. Not an AW as crippling anxiety consumes me anytime I want to interact on the internet or IRL but I want to participate and be active and attempt to overcome at least a little anxiety so here I am... trying and hoping I’m successful. Being 2 months late to the game definitely doesn’t help.
@c0leann welcome! The randoms thread is a great place to start because anything goes here! Also finding the weekly check in group that best applies to you (most are by due date) will be a way quickly start interacting. There’s a lot to be learned from everyone’s experiences and anxiety is real. I know I am terrified and I keep thinking after each appointment I will feel better, and I do, until I find the next thing to worry about.
I have totally been nesting and reorganizing the house, which is my normal personality but amplified Now that we need a room for baby and feel like I’m winning because I had stuff to go to the dump, but since we need to borrow a truck or trailer to get it there I threw it on CL and hoped for the best... well most of it is gone and I even got some cash for it, winning!
Re: Randoms Nov 11-17
@shamrocandroll @jhysmath I like to think that it isn't the OB herself but really the staff and in particular one of the newer girls. She has no idea how to phrase things or do anything so I'm really hoping and praying that's the case this time and everything is actually fine. During my last visit she started off by saying "well based on your LMP your due date should be 4/30 but based on the ultrasound your due date is 5/13 so that is really far off" and making it sound like something must be horribly wrong without asking any questions when I cut her off and told her I knew I ovulated late and that's exactly what I expected so she can just stop talking. If I wouldn't have been tracking I would've obviously been very nervous about that comment. And then she went on to ask if my husband and I have any "generic conditions" in our family (instead of genetic) so honestly how much faith can we put in this lady?
@bananapanda I’m sorry for your mess. I never heard back with my NIPT results, so sent a message on the portal, and in less than 10 minutes a nurse called apologizing and the going over everything and answering all my questions. Waiting days is not acceptable for a call back. An office I used to go to was like that and I used to think that was just normal, but I’ve worked with two other offices since and both ALWAYS get back to me the same day, even if just to call and say they are looking into it.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Ok so as you may recall labcorp said the results were sent to the dr as of Thursday morning so Thursday afternoon I called and had to leave a voicemail asking them to please review and call back since you cannot get through to a person and they say "we'll call back within 3 business days" which seems unreasonable to start with. So Friday afternoon still hadn't heard back I was complaining to DH so he does what any good husband would likely do and tries to fix it by calling the office himself. He got through and asked if they had reviewed them. They said no and my dr was out for the day. He called me, I was very upset about the thought of waiting all weekend when I know they had them in office 2 full days at least. So he felt bad, called back and asked if the other dr in the practice could review them since I was so anxious. Again, I didn't think any of this was unreasonable because I have seen both drs and whichever is on call is who delivers even if it isn't who you've seen most of the visits. Sure he may not have been polite, but he didn't cuss anyone out, threaten them or anything crazy. He did mention I was upset with the office and might look elsewhere which was true (and again, I don't think out of line). Ok so then then Tuesday afternoon (basically 3.5 business days later) they call and say I need to come in to discuss results since I was so nervous and the dr couldn't just call I had to come in. So I clear my schedule and went in. They made me wait quite awhile even though no other patients had been back and I heard my dr back there talking and complaining about something. Finally they take me back, my blood pressure was a little high probably because I was anxious for the appointment so the OB walks in with a nurse behind her and says "we need to have a heart to heart" so I'm thinking ok I'm in trouble for having high blood pressure and she's going to make me go on meds or something. But no, she got in my face and just laid into my for DH calling wanting results. She went on and on about how busy she is and she had 34 other patients waiting on results (ok sounds like maybe you need to quit taking on new patients if you can't take care of the ones you have?) and I stopped her and said ok can you just tell me for sure if everything is ok with the baby and instead she goes "I don't know, it might be, but things are NOT OK WITH US!" and is finger jabbing in my face and touching my hand. Her main complaints were that DH asked if the other dr could check results, that he said I might go elsewhere, and that he mentioned the sex of the baby. Obviously we were curious about the sex but more importantly wanted to know if everything was low risk. And even if we did just want to know the sex - she ordered the test and we have a right to the results either way. She continued to yell at me and be in my face even when I tried explaining all of this to her and that it wasn't unreasonable to want my lab results. She said "well your new dr can give them to you". I said ok if you just wanted to tell me you don't want me as a patient over something ridiculous you could've just called instead of wasting my time coming in. She says "no, I had to do this TO YOUR FACE!!" like what even is going on right now in my life? So finally I stood up and said ok I don't have to deal with this I'm leaving and walked out and she chased me out yelling "ok tell me where to send your records, good luck with your pregnancy!" and laughed. All of that was in front of other patients too. It was literally the wildest most unprofessional thing I've seen in my entire life. And I didn't even cry or yell at her. I stayed so calm and didn't say much just because I was so completely blindsided by this entire thing. I literally have no idea what set her off so bad. It's not like we called 80 times or threatened them or said or did anything that I would think was even remotely out of line. Also - even if one voicemail and two calls is COMPLETELY EXCESSIVE I think she could've just called with my results and then during my regular appt next week explained what took so long and why she would appreciate me not calling that often (which might've been enough to make me want to switch anyway because I think getting answers within 1-2 days is reasonable but not 3+). And if she would've just gotten my voicemail Thursday and sent me a quick message in the portal it would've been no big deal. Idk maybe you can let me know if you think I did something out of line, but this was just so nuts. And also clearly didn't help my blood pressure yesterday. And for her to still not even confirm my results? How can she call herself a medical professional after acting like that?
And for anyone who read this far I did ask around and get new recommendations and called and have an appt with a new OB on Monday. He's young and a total hottie which will be probably be awkward, but everyone in his office is so highly recommended that I'll give it a try. So I had to call the crazy OB's office to ask for records to be faxed over and of course had to leave a voicemail and "they'll get back to me within 3 business days" so it should be interesting. If I would've been in my right mind yesterday I should've just asked for my records when I was walking out but clearly I was in shock and didn't think of that until after.
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019And major props to you for not breaking down. I 100% would have cried in your shoes! I can't believe any medical professional would do that to a patient... especially a pregnant one who they should know if anxious and shouldn't be getting themselves stressed out like that. And pointing her finger in your face!? Unreal! I would 100% report her, and definitely makes the decision about switching super easy. I'm so mad for you!!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and you didn't even get your results after all that! I'm just... wow... just wow...
ETA I just noticed how funny "I 100% would have cried in your shoes" sounds.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
If they are part of a larger group or affiliated with a local hospital you should definitely let them know what happened. I’m sure you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last to be treated with such disrespect. Good luck with your new OB at least it can’t be worse!
Eta: doctors take an oath to do no harm. She did a lot of harm to you with the way she treated you
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20