How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s so cute. The tantrums aren’t that fun though
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? We’re having a girl!!!! Found out Thurs. I was 10000% positive it was a boy and I’m still so surprised and excited. I will be cursing myself for wanting a girl when she is a teen though (I was a terror and karma is a B )
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? If DS could pick a sibling, he would want an older bro. Since this is neither an older sibling nor a boy, I think he is gonna be not impressed. I also worry he is going to feel neglected. I am going to try so hard to make time for him and keep his activities a priority.
How many children do you want, and why? Two. DH and I always said 2. Lately I have been toying with the idea of 3 (I think it must be something w pregnancy hormones bc I never wanted more than 2) but DH would kill me for even thinking of it and also I never want to be pregnant again ha, so #twoandthrough
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 13, DS is 3.5, will be 4 when LO is born
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD's been doing great in school lately, so I have to say I'm pretty proud of her. DS has been improving like crazy as far as language/behavior goes so that's good too. The two don't always get along the greatest, which is a bummer.. DD pretty much resents DS, and DS gets angry with her right back.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Hoping this LO (another girl) can ease some of the tensions between DD and DS, but mostly just hoping that DS and this LO will grow to have a close relationship since they are closer in age. (And maybe, if I'm lucky, DD will take to having a little sister better than she's taken to having a little brother.) Mostly I'm excited because I can't wait to hold a newborn again, they are just so sweet when they are that little, and looking forward to having another baby around.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? I'm hoping the siblings can get along. I'm also worried about DS and this new LO having to share a room, since they are different genders (might get awkward.) When DD moves out I will be able to separate the two youngest.
How many children do you want, and why? I would be happy having 4, but I think DH and I will stop at 3, mostly due to finances and also due to my age (I'll be 38 when this LO is born)- *TW.. I had 2 miscarriages before DS, and one before this LO, and neither of us want to go through that again - end TW* I know DH doesn't want any more. I would like to have 4 because I grew up in a family of 4, and loved having siblings, and all the chaos and fun that came with it - just from a young age I had hoped to have a larger family.
@silverhope, my DD is 13 and I can tell you, having a teen girl isn't easy, between the hormones and the attitude. lol. My DD has a very easy-going and people pleasing personality in general since she was little, but the past couple years since puberty hit, she's been kind of disagreeable and doesn't like to listen to me much - instead she is now easy going with her peers. (guess mom just isn't cool.) She's already had lots of crushes on boys.. nervous for when her dating years start!
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? pretty good. He's been getting more cuddly lately, which is awesome and incredibly adorable. Buuuuut he's also been super clingy and pretty volatile. It doesn't help that I'm the world's worst at letting him cry or fuss. If I know it's just because he wants something he can't have, then it's fine, but if I don't know why he's upset (which is 98% of the time) I have a really hard time just letting him be upset. I'm probably creating a monster.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I'm doing my best to savor this pregnancy since there's a 99.9% likelihood that it'll be our last. Even though I've felt pretty crummy for most of it, I'm still really sad it'll be my last time experiencing it. I didn't really answer the prompt..... oh well lol.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Not really any new concerns. Still just unsure how I'll handle 2, especially since DS will be just under 2 yrs when this one is born. I know having a sibling will be good for him in the long run, but I know it'll be a rocky transition.
How many children do you want, and why? Two. We're always wanted two, and were even a little hesitant to try for #2. I figure it's enough to provide a sibling relationship, but we won't be outnumbered. I know I'd be insanely overwhelmed with 3... at least I keep telling myself that!
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@silverhope Congrats on a girl!!! OMG we've been toying with the idea of 3 lately too. Even DH admitted that he's thought about it. But, we can't logically justify it, so I think the plan is still for DH to get a vasectomy once this one is born. I'm sure when we're deep in the trenches of having 2 young kids the decision will be finalized
@treetop19 it's funny how you tend to want the number of kids that were in your family growing up. I was one of two kids, so I always figured I'd have two kids lol.
@silverhope How exciting that you were surprised with a girl! @treetop19 I feel you on finances having a heavy impact on family decisions. @stassischroeder I also question how we'll handle 2, when DS1 can be so wild!
EDD/Weeks + Days: 3.10/22w
How old is/are your other kid(s)? He'll be about 2.5 when DS2 is here.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He's great! It's been fun experiencing Halloween with him, and I'm really looking forward to Christmas. But man, he can get so wild and it's exhausting.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I'm excited to see DS as a big brother.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Lots! LOL. When one can be so exhausting, how will we handle two? Yes, newborns are cuddly, and easier to contain, but I don't love the newborn stage. It was hard for me the first time, so I'm nervous it'll be even harder with also dealing with a toddler. Will my toddler regress or get super jealous that he's not the only child anymore? Will my second be as awesome/adaptable as my first when it comes to sleeping, eating, etc? Lastly, how the eff will we manage life when we have to pay for two in daycare?
How many children do you want, and why? DH and I each have one sibling of the opposite sex, so that's kind of what we had envisioned for our family. Now that we're having two boys, we've been more open to having a third, but we would have to wait until DS1 is in school so we wouldn't add to our daycare tuition. It will also depend on how this birth goes, and how we feel down the road, if our family feels "complete." The thought of being outnumbered scares me, but it also makes me sad to think this could be my last pregnancy.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? They’re great and really excited about a new sibling!
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? It’s been a pretty easy going pregnancy so far which I’m really thankful for. I’m kind of crazy and actually love the labor/delivery/hospital stay part of it all so I’m looking forward to that. I’m also trying to savor these moments since this is my last.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? How I’ll handle 4 kids, how my youngest will adjust to not being the center of my universe when the older sibs are at school.
How many children do you want, and why? My “number” was always 3 kids. After I had my third, I just knew in my heart that I wasn’t done and there’d be one more. Actually deciding to have a fourth was a hard decision but I knew I’d always wonder what if, if we didn’t go for it. This is 100% the last baby. I’d probably be open to having a fifth if I had an unlimited supply of money to hire a nanny 🤪
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD(10), is excited about having another baby in the house to snuggle. She’s annoyed with the toddler stage. Lol. DD has no idea what going on and what will happen when there’s a baby. Haha. However, he looooooves babies and it constantly saying “baby” and wanting to go say hello and hug every baby we see anywhere. Including “babies” who are older than he is. 😂
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? For it to be over with? Lol. But really though. It’s been rough and I want an outside baby (a fully baked one). I am loving feeling sweet little kicks though!!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Just the logistics of having three kids! Luckily DD is so much older that I don’t feel worried about wrangling three small munchkins. The hard part is the difference in activities and taking the littles to the bigger one’s stuff, and dragging her to little kid things. Not sure how that’ll pan out.
How many children do you want, and why? This will be the last. H wants another after this maybe, but I cannot even fathom it. I was on the fence about this one because we struggled so much with infertility and multiple miscarriages before DS. I didn’t want to go through that again. Thankfully this happened as a surprise so I didn’t have to go through all of that anxiety related to TTC.
@mrsvp614 did you and YH enjoy having a sibling of the opposite sex? I’m worried DS is gonna be so annoyed his sibling is (1) younger (ha, like I can fix that) and (2) not a boy. He loves playing with older boys but otherwise is meh about other kids.
@miss.sally DS also calls older kids “babies” ha. I think it’s so cute.
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS is 2.5 (will hopefully be 3 when baby is born)
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s doing pretty good! He’s gotten really bossy and his tantrums can be extreme but he’s also on a language explosion again. I’m trying to soak up my time with him but am also feeling guilty bc my temper is shorter than usual.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I’m so excited to hold a newborn again and can’t wait to see how DS does as a big brother.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Nothing new really, still worried how DS will do now that the attention won’t be all on him. Still worried I won’t feel as connected to the baby as I do to DS. Still wondering what I’m going to do when they both need me and I’m only one person.
How many children do you want, and why? We’ve always said we want 3. DH and I both had 1 sibling each and DH has an ok relationship with his sister, I haven’t spoken to my brother in 4 years. I think 3 will help weed out the jealousy and resentment that I felt as a kid. I’ve heard that when there is a 3rd the jealousy kind of bounces between pairs rather than just the constant focus on your only sibling. Who knows if it’s true but I’ve always seen myself having 3 anyways. We’d consider 4 but idk if our house is big enough.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@silverhope I only have a brother and our relationship is not good and never was. We had moments growing up where we got along but they were few and far between. DH though has only a sister and they have an ok relationship.
I think it depends on the kids’ personalities and the parents more than the sex of the kids. A lot of my issues stem from the fact that I’m the black sheep in our family and my brother can do no wrong. Like I never needed reminders in hs about doing homework and graduated top 10% of the class but my bro never did his work and barely passed yet he was given way more praise than I was. I could give a lot of examples but they all caused a lot of frustration and resentment for me.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@silverhope - that article you posted pretty much hits the nail on the head about what a family with 4 plus kids is like, but, idk if 4 kids makes parents any happier in all cases (at least it didn't seem to in my family.) my mom and dad had a crappy marriage and it was obvious to me even as a kid that they were both miserable.
@varimama, like @silverhope, I'm also nervous about the boy/girl sibling relationship, I'm really hoping my DS is going to get along with his little sister. I agree, though, it might not be so much the gender, but the way parents treat the kids and whether or not they show a lot of favoritism.. in my family already, oldest DD resents DS, but it's mostly because of the age gap - DD was used to being doted on (for 10 years) and then when DS came along, all that changed and she wasn't too happy about it. I couldn't really help it though, DS needed more one on one attention than she did just by virtue of being so much younger. I do try to keep their gifts and praise balanced out, though.
In my family of origin, we had 3 girls and one boy, so, as you can imagine, one girl was always 'the odd girl out' - so while I was happy for the most part since my middle sister and I were best friends, the youngest girl kind of got left by herself, as did my brother. they might say they didn't enjoy the sibling experience as much as I did, idk. The youngest girl was always favored over everyone else as well, so that didn't help matters and made her get left out even more because we were all jealous of the extra attention/gifts/praise she got.
@silverhope Neither one of us are super close with our siblings now, but we get along just fine and seemed to have happy childhoods with them. We were both just old enough that we weren't in high school at the same time as our siblings, so the age gap may have played a role. As a kid I always wanted a sister, but as I got older I wondered if that would be a good or bad thing. Ha!
Hi friends! It's been a while. But I am still around!
EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/12/20 - 21+6
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 2, 2.5 next month
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? She's good. We received her autism diagnosis a couple of months ago and have been slowly adding all of the different therapies. So far, OT is the hardest for her. She really struggles with sensory processing and adult-guided instruction, so doing just that for an hour really pisses her off. She's made SO much progress in speech though. She even is answering yes and no questions about 75% of the time now!
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Perhaps not needing Pitocin. That would be fantastic. Like @mommytimesfour I really enjoy labor and delivery, so I'm looking forward to that experience again. Also DD has started really loving the babies at her daycare and has recently asked to "go to school and see the babies" on weekends. It's so cute!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? I am really scared we'll have another case of reflux/colic on our hands, and how to manage that with an almost three-year-old.
How many children do you want, and why? I always wanted three, then I said I'd never TTC again after infertility and RPL before DD. We will see how two go.. I honestly am not sure we could afford three either financially or mentally.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Really great. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing. All of a sudden she is not at all a toddler, she’s a big kid. It’s wild. If I could just get her to poop on the potty 100% of the time....
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Maternity leave. I love my job but I need a break, and I’m so glad with this baby my leave will go right up to the summer. Last time I only got 8 weeks and it was hard to go back.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Yeah. All the concerns. Like many of you, I’m worried about having enough time and attention for both kids. Also worried how I’ll have time for myself. Just all of it.
How many children do you want, and why? Two and DONE. I wasn’t even sure I wanted two before I got KU tbh. Of course I’m thrilled but this is definitely our last. I’ve told H already he’s getting snipped as soon as this baby is out.
@varimama you’re right, personality and parenting is so much of it. Of course we all want our kids to be best of friends, and we can help foster that to an extent, but who knows what personalities and dynamics will arise.
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD turns 4 this month, which I'm getting more emotional about than I thought I would. And DS will be 2 in January.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? They're doing good, listening to the book @EmilyLove25 suggested and it seems to help with my strong willed daughter when I'm able to apply it, but is also still challenging and makes me feel like I've already F-ed her up a little bit. We'll be alright... DS is becoming more 'I want to do it on my own' with everything, but he's still a pretty easy kid, good listener, super helpful, etc.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I can't believe how slowly the first weeks dragged on, and now how fast it's going. Other people have mentioned, but I agree that the holidays are also going to make time fly by, so just trying to soak it all in. Assuming she is as laid back as my last two as teeny babies, just looking forward to that precious time off work spending every second trying to memorize her little features that will be different the next day!!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Starting to get some worries about everything going smoothly when she comes, whether she will pass all of her post birth tests, hearing, etc and whether she will be laid back like my last. Not sure why these are creeping in suddenly, getting closer maybe. How many children do you want, and why? Soooooooo, after my first and right after my second I knew I wanted three. As my second got older I was more on the fence feeling like I was getting 'out of the woods' from breastfeeding etc. but my husband tipped the scale and we decided to go for three. When we got pregnant I was so adamant when people asked if this was our last that they all probably thought this was unintentional. Now that I'm embarking back in the thick of it, and I do blame some of this on pregnancy hormones like @silverhope mentioned, but my answer to people who ask if this is our last is 'I think so', and now I have this article to lean on . Part of it too, and some of you have mentioned similar feelings, is the sex part. I'm not sure if it is because DS was the easier on me delivery/recovery/personality mesh wise and he's my most recent so a boy is what I'm 'used to' and associate all the newborn-ness and the whole experience. So finding out this is a girl has been an adjustment, and leaves me kind of wanting more. Even though I know we couldn't magic #4 to be a boy. I also like to think it's just a little bit FOMO, like literally each kid I've found out the sex and had a twinge of missing out feeling that it wasn't the opposite, like thought I wanted a boy first, then was terrified of having a boy and just wanted another girl, and now thinking I want a boy is just a little more final with this potentially (realistically, financially, mentally and my age) being our last. But, I am certain all of these feelings will be out the window when she comes, has a name, becomes a person, etc.
@stac4056, I can completely relate to what you're saying.. I was hoping for a boy this time around (because this LO is closer to my DS in age, and I really hoped he could have a brother to grow up with), now that I know it's a girl, I'm feeling even more like I want to go for number 4 than I did... but as you said, no guarantee another would be a boy anyway. I also don't think my family could swing it at this point, so the 'finality' of it all definitely brings out those wistful 'what-if' feelings. I am in agreement with you, once I see this LO and get to know her, I don't think those feelings will linger.
@treetop19 Yes I remember you mentioning the same feelings!! I feel bad for DS being in a sister sandwich, but would also feel bad for DD not getting a sister. I agree with @kantobean that closeness will arise from personality combos more than age gaps or sex and/or what @varimama said about them balancing out their alliances with three, we will see!!
EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/18, 21+1 How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3 now, she will be over 3.5 when baby comes
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD is doing great. Things have improved at preschool and she has become really independent with caring for herself in the past month or so. She is obsessed with preparing for the baby and tells everyone she meets about her baby brother.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Like some have said I am excited to have an outside baby and never be pregnant again. I am having a very smooth pregnancy (thank goodness bc work is insane) but overall I’m just not super in love with the pregnancy stage and really enjoy the cuddly baby stage. I’m also very excited to breastfeed again. I had a great experience the first time around and can’t wait to have that bonding experience again.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? This is a long one so bear with me.
My main concern is financing. I need some advice here. I just found out that my current school does not offer maternity leave pay (my previous school did pay at a reduced rate and let me use my sick time). I currently have 32 sick and personal days saved up. If I have a scheduled cs two days after my due date, using my sick time will bring me to the second to last week of school with full pay. Like @kantobean said I love my job but it is physically and mentally exhausting. Additionally I do a lot of work at home and I do not want to do that with a new baby and a toddler. This is my last baby and I don’t want to ruin this time with him being tiny because of my job. This plan will lead to me having one full week (5 work days) unpaid and then returning to work the last three days of school. My schedule this year does not allow for a time to pump but I’m hoping with it being the last week a few of my coworkers will step up to cover for me while I pump those last three days.
So my question is, is it crazy to go past my due date for the cs? I’m planning on asking my ob at my appointment later this month to find out if she will even let me go past my due date. Am I making a poor decision by going back those last three days when baby is 9 weeks old? Should I still go with my original plan of having a cs in 3/13 (5 days before my due date) and taking two full weeks unpaid (which we really can’t afford). My fear is I put all these plans in place to try to have the least amount of lost wages as possible and then I have to go in earlier than my due date. Ugh I hate the unknown.
How many children do you want, and why? I wanted 2, DH would have been fine with 1 but I wanted DD to have a sibling and get that bond. I’m so excited we are having a boy because my brother and I are very close and are around the same age gap.
@AAAG13 I mean you can always ask your dr but I’ve never heard of them doing a scheduled c-section late. Maybe if you were attempting a VBAC though? Plus even if the dr agreed there’s always a chance you’ll go into labor early. Honestly if it were me I’d find a way to save up now for the 2 weeks unpaid. You’ve still got 4ish months. Maybe cut back on Christmas a little, your DD is 3 so she won’t really know yet. And the first thing we cut back on when we are budgeting is going out to eat. Cooking larger meals so that you can utilize leftovers. Make sure you’re buying what is in season/on sale, etc... We’d either not do a vacation that summer or we’d do a small 1-2 night one rather than a full week. I’m sure there are lots of other ways to save too.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@kantobean
YES on maternity leave. Not going to lie… SUPER excited for that!
@stac4056
SO glad the book is helping! Also I’m sure I’ve said this before and will say
it again, but our kids are almost EXACTLY the same age. We might need to FB
message each other for support in March haha!
@AAAG13
SO glad to hear things at preschool are improving!
@aaag13 We did my scheduled C-Section a week before due date and even though my first went to 41+6 and still induced, that still made me a little nervous that I would go into labor beforehand. @EmilyLove25 Absolutely!!
Thank you for the input ladies, I really value it! @stac4056 I was induced with my first at 41 weeks and still ended up having a csection then next day so it’s good to know what happened with someone else who was also overdue with their first. @varimama thank you for the suggestions. These were some of the things I was thinking but it just helps to see it from another mom!
Sorry guys, I went weeks without being able to access the community features and the help desk was having trouble fixing it. So eventually I gave up. But it looks like it works again, so yay! @treetop19 I love babies too. I am looking forward to having a newborn to cuddle and easily carry around. @stassischroeder I am with you about the last pregnancy. I'm a little sad I won't experience any of this again, even though this pregnancy has been very hard. I just know later I'll want another baby. 🙄 @miss.sally that's adorable that he's hugging all the babies 😂 I would find that so cute if I saw it! @varimama I have less patience and kindness than normal too and I hate it. I was thinking about doing a course online or something to find some tips to help me do better. I may be struggling a little more than I realized with all the recent life changes. @WorkingOnMyNightCheese I'm really glad your daughter is doing so well. That must be so encouraging! @stac4056 it was an adjustment for my husband and I as well, finding out we're having a girl. The idea of teenage and young adult years are kinda scary!
EDD/Weeks + Days: March 15/21 weeks + 5 days
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Good. Lots of energy, which makes me even more tired.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Tough question. I'm actually really nervous about this birth. My last one was traumatic and scary and I'm in lousy shape with this one. It stresses me out.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Juggling 2 young kids most of the time by myself. Making both of them feel loved and important, plus challenging their minds appropriately.
How many children do you want, and why? I always wanted 4 but after everything it's taken just to have these 2 I think I'm going to call it good with 2.
@AAAG13 I don’t have CS advice but I’m in a similar boat regarding sick leave. I have 34 days so my due date will put me at 2 weeks unpaid. I went four days early last time so it could be more like three weeks. I’m just going to do it. It’ll suck but I’m saving up now. I might go back for our two teacher work days at the end of the year, when I know I’ll have time to pump and could even potentially bring baby on the last day to meet everyone.
@kantobean this the exact situation I’m thinking I will be in. Even that last day, we do faculty meeting and lunch so only a half day. I think I will bring baby that day too, since it will just be adults. Good to know I’m not alone!
@projectalice The app has been making me want to rip my hair out, pretty much no access to the community via the app. Whew, I am worried for all my kids' teenage years!! At least I'll be more equipped with empathy toward my girls hormonal rollercoasters but for DS I'll have no idea what the hell is going on!! And not to mention what the landscape of culture and community will look like in ten+ years, ugh...again though, I think I'll be able to advise the girls better having been on that side myself despite the difference in times.
I'm probably an idiot for resisting, but my MIL keeps asking to take my 19 mo toddler to stay overnight (or two nights) at her place 2 hours away..... and I have a visceral negative reaction to the idea. She's babysat him for maybe a total of 10 days over the last 19 months, and he's never done overnights with anyone other than myself or DH. She'll likely be the person to watch him while we're at the hospital when I go into labor, but at least that'll be at our own house.
LSS: I'm sure he'd survive, but my gut reaction is
@momoftoddlers yeah, you're probably right. Maybe we'll do it a little closer to my due date and make it a time when DH isn't working so that we can have a mini babymoon. It'll help if we're doing something fun so I'm not just hanging out worrying about him!
@stassischroeder That’s a great idea. I always get nervous when my kids sleep over at grandma’s, can’t help it, but we usually do it for a date night or overnight away for us, and that keeps my mind off it. And they always do great and have a fun time. And sleeping through the night and past 6am is amazing.
@stassischroeder DS is 2.5 and I’ve never let him have an overnight either. To be fair he wasn’t sleeping through the night until a couple months ago so more than just my anxiety on it I didn’t want to subject anyone to multiple nighttime wake ups. Now I’m still just not ok with it. ILs will be watching him during labor/delivery but they’ve agreed to watch him here. Them watching him at their house scares me for a lot of reasons. Their dog, it’s not even close to baby proofed, etc... I think it’s fine to stick to your guns on it. If she’s going to be watching him at your place I’d suggest that for a trial run, maybe you and your H can get a hotel nearby!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@stassischroeder I agree with @varimama’s suggestion. I haven’t let DD have an overnight trip away from our house either. We have spent 2 nights away from her and they were both with my mom watching her at our house. We did a mini trip out of town and slept so late. For this baby my mom is going to stay at our place while we are at the hospital.
@varimama holy crap. I thought DS was a nightmare for waking up multiple times until 13 mo. I don’t know how you survived on such little sleep fir 2.5 yrs!!
@silverhope DS was kind of a nightmare sleeper. He wouldn’t sleep without being held for the first month and after that it was very short times (like 30-45min) in his crib until I gave in a co-slept. Eventually we started working on starting in the crib then co-sleeping and added in gradual night weaning. Finally we got an ok to wake clock for his room and that seemed to be the final key. So have hope people if you have a terrible sleeper they will someday sleep through the night and in their cribs. We never had to resort to crying it out either. I mean I wouldn’t say he had 0 tears with the transitions, he would fuss for like 2-3 minutes but it was just letting us know he wasn’t thrilled with our changes.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@AAAG13@varimama I honestly don't know why MIL is so obsessed with taking him to her house. She doesn't otherwise go out of her way to babysit, so I don't get it. It doesn't help that when she watches him at our house (which, again, has been about a total of 10 times since he was born) she barely pays attention when I try to give her any instructions/information. Oh, and she lets him nap on the living room floor when he's already fantastic at napping in his crib. Not the end of the world, but he'll sleep longer if you put him in his crib, and I really don't want to mess with his good nap habits.
@stassischroeder man if that’s the case I’d just say no. I totally get that grandparents want to spoil their grandkids so I try to be lax on if they want to give him extra cookies or watch tv or buy him annoying gifts. But when it comes to routine stuff like where the kid sleeps or if I’m giving instructions on things he needs or will probably ask for while I’m gone they need to listen or they won’t be trusted to watch him.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@stassischroeder DS stayed with MIL last year around this time when we were there for Thanksgiving. DS slept in his PNP in the spare room, while DH and I went to a movie and got a hotel about 20 minutes away. Then we were back the next morning. It worked out fine for everyone, and I was way less nervous since we were close by and it was a short visit. I realize every situation is very different, but I thought I'd share an option that worked for us.
@mrsvp614 I'd love a situation like that for a trial run. Unfortunately my MIL lives in a teeny town (400> population) that's a good hour from the nearest decent size town. We could, however, do a date night in Minot (closest city an hour away) and then be back to get him the next morning. Living in North Dakota makes everything difficult LOL.
@stassischroeder Such an uncomfortable predicament, because how do you say no? Really strange she lets him sleep on the floor when he's a good crib sleeper and frustrating she doesn't listen to your instructions. I can feel very hesitant about leaving mine, but have done so since about 6 months with both of them for various special occasions, and of course it always works out fine. I like the idea of the close town date night!!
Re: November STM+ Discussion
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 18 mo boy
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s so cute. The tantrums aren’t that fun though
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? We’re having a girl!!!! Found out Thurs. I was 10000% positive it was a boy and I’m still so surprised and excited. I will be cursing myself for wanting a girl when she is a teen though (I was a terror and karma is a B )
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? If DS could pick a sibling, he would want an older bro. Since this is neither an older sibling nor a boy, I think he is gonna be not impressed. I also worry he is going to feel neglected. I am going to try so hard to make time for him and keep his activities a priority.
How many children do you want, and why? Two. DH and I always said 2. Lately I have been toying with the idea of 3 (I think it must be something w pregnancy hormones bc I never wanted more than 2) but DH would kill me for even thinking of it and also I never want to be pregnant again ha, so #twoandthrough
edited by my parenthesis became an emoji
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 13, DS is 3.5, will be 4 when LO is born
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD's been doing great in school lately, so I have to say I'm pretty proud of her. DS has been improving like crazy as far as language/behavior goes so that's good too. The two don't always get along the greatest, which is a bummer.. DD pretty much resents DS, and DS gets angry with her right back.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Hoping this LO (another girl) can ease some of the tensions between DD and DS, but mostly just hoping that DS and this LO will grow to have a close relationship since they are closer in age. (And maybe, if I'm lucky, DD will take to having a little sister better than she's taken to having a little brother.) Mostly I'm excited because I can't wait to hold a newborn again, they are just so sweet when they are that little, and looking forward to having another baby around.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? I'm hoping the siblings can get along. I'm also worried about DS and this new LO having to share a room, since they are different genders (might get awkward.) When DD moves out I will be able to separate the two youngest.
How many children do you want, and why? I would be happy having 4, but I think DH and I will stop at 3, mostly due to finances and also due to my age (I'll be 38 when this LO is born)- *TW.. I had 2 miscarriages before DS, and one before this LO, and neither of us want to go through that again - end TW* I know DH doesn't want any more. I would like to have 4 because I grew up in a family of 4, and loved having siblings, and all the chaos and fun that came with it - just from a young age I had hoped to have a larger family.
@silverhope, my DD is 13 and I can tell you, having a teen girl isn't easy, between the hormones and the attitude. lol. My DD has a very easy-going and people pleasing personality in general since she was little, but the past couple years since puberty hit, she's been kind of disagreeable and doesn't like to listen to me much - instead she is now easy going with her peers. (guess mom just isn't cool.) She's already had lots of crushes on boys.. nervous for when her dating years start!
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 19 mo
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? pretty good. He's been getting more cuddly lately, which is awesome and incredibly adorable. Buuuuut he's also been super clingy and pretty volatile. It doesn't help that I'm the world's worst at letting him cry or fuss. If I know it's just because he wants something he can't have, then it's fine, but if I don't know why he's upset (which is 98% of the time) I have a really hard time just letting him be upset. I'm probably creating a monster.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I'm doing my best to savor this pregnancy since there's a 99.9% likelihood that it'll be our last. Even though I've felt pretty crummy for most of it, I'm still really sad it'll be my last time experiencing it. I didn't really answer the prompt..... oh well lol.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Not really any new concerns. Still just unsure how I'll handle 2, especially since DS will be just under 2 yrs when this one is born. I know having a sibling will be good for him in the long run, but I know it'll be a rocky transition.
How many children do you want, and why? Two. We're always wanted two, and were even a little hesitant to try for #2. I figure it's enough to provide a sibling relationship, but we won't be outnumbered. I know I'd be insanely overwhelmed with 3... at least I keep telling myself that!
___________________
@silverhope Congrats on a girl!!! OMG we've been toying with the idea of 3 lately too. Even DH admitted that he's thought about it. But, we can't logically justify it, so I think the plan is still for DH to get a vasectomy once this one is born. I'm sure when we're deep in the trenches of having 2 young kids the decision will be finalized
@treetop19 it's funny how you tend to want the number of kids that were in your family growing up. I was one of two kids, so I always figured I'd have two kids lol.
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
DS born 4/4/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
@treetop19 I feel you on finances having a heavy impact on family decisions.
@stassischroeder I also question how we'll handle 2, when DS1 can be so wild!
EDD/Weeks + Days: 3.10/22w
How old is/are your other kid(s)? He'll be about 2.5 when DS2 is here.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He's great! It's been fun experiencing Halloween with him, and I'm really looking forward to Christmas. But man, he can get so wild and it's exhausting.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I'm excited to see DS as a big brother.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Lots! LOL. When one can be so exhausting, how will we handle two? Yes, newborns are cuddly, and easier to contain, but I don't love the newborn stage. It was hard for me the first time, so I'm nervous it'll be even harder with also dealing with a toddler. Will my toddler regress or get super jealous that he's not the only child anymore? Will my second be as awesome/adaptable as my first when it comes to sleeping, eating, etc? Lastly, how the eff will we manage life when we have to pay for two in daycare?
How many children do you want, and why? DH and I each have one sibling of the opposite sex, so that's kind of what we had envisioned for our family. Now that we're having two boys, we've been more open to having a third, but we would have to wait until DS1 is in school so we wouldn't add to our daycare tuition. It will also depend on how this birth goes, and how we feel down the road, if our family feels "complete." The thought of being outnumbered scares me, but it also makes me sad to think this could be my last pregnancy.
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 8, 6, 3
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? They’re great and really excited about a new sibling!
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? It’s been a pretty easy going pregnancy so far which I’m really thankful for. I’m kind of crazy and actually love the labor/delivery/hospital stay part of it all so I’m looking forward to that. I’m also trying to savor these moments since this is my last.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? How I’ll handle 4 kids, how my youngest will adjust to not being the center of my universe when the older sibs are at school.
How many children do you want, and why? My “number” was always 3 kids. After I had my third, I just knew in my heart that I wasn’t done and there’d be one more. Actually deciding to have a fourth was a hard decision but I knew I’d always wonder what if, if we didn’t go for it. This is 100% the last baby. I’d probably be open to having a fifth if I had an unlimited supply of money to hire a nanny 🤪
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 10 and 2
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD(10), is excited about having another baby in the house to snuggle. She’s annoyed with the toddler stage. Lol. DD has no idea what going on and what will happen when there’s a baby. Haha. However, he looooooves babies and it constantly saying “baby” and wanting to go say hello and hug every baby we see anywhere. Including “babies” who are older than he is. 😂
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? For it to be over with? Lol. But really though. It’s been rough and I want an outside baby (a fully baked one). I am loving feeling sweet little kicks though!!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Just the logistics of having three kids! Luckily DD is so much older that I don’t feel worried about wrangling three small munchkins. The hard part is the difference in activities and taking the littles to the bigger one’s stuff, and dragging her to little kid things. Not sure how that’ll pan out.
How many children do you want, and why? This will be the last. H wants another after this maybe, but I cannot even fathom it. I was on the fence about this one because we struggled so much with infertility and multiple miscarriages before DS. I didn’t want to go through that again. Thankfully this happened as a surprise so I didn’t have to go through all of that anxiety related to TTC.
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS is 2.5 (will hopefully be 3 when baby is born)
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s doing pretty good! He’s gotten really bossy and his tantrums can be extreme but he’s also on a language explosion again. I’m trying to soak up my time with him but am also feeling guilty bc my temper is shorter than usual.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I’m so excited to hold a newborn again and can’t wait to see how DS does as a big brother.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Nothing new really, still worried how DS will do now that the attention won’t be all on him. Still worried I won’t feel as connected to the baby as I do to DS. Still wondering what I’m going to do when they both need me and I’m only one person.
How many children do you want, and why? We’ve always said we want 3. DH and I both had 1 sibling each and DH has an ok relationship with his sister, I haven’t spoken to my brother in 4 years. I think 3 will help weed out the jealousy and resentment that I felt as a kid. I’ve heard that when there is a 3rd the jealousy kind of bounces between pairs rather than just the constant focus on your only sibling. Who knows if it’s true but I’ve always seen myself having 3 anyways. We’d consider 4 but idk if our house is big enough.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@varimama, like @silverhope, I'm also nervous about the boy/girl sibling relationship, I'm really hoping my DS is going to get along with his little sister. I agree, though, it might not be so much the gender, but the way parents treat the kids and whether or not they show a lot of favoritism.. in my family already, oldest DD resents DS, but it's mostly because of the age gap - DD was used to being doted on (for 10 years) and then when DS came along, all that changed and she wasn't too happy about it. I couldn't really help it though, DS needed more one on one attention than she did just by virtue of being so much younger. I do try to keep their gifts and praise balanced out, though.
In my family of origin, we had 3 girls and one boy, so, as you can imagine, one girl was always 'the odd girl out' - so while I was happy for the most part since my middle sister and I were best friends, the youngest girl kind of got left by herself, as did my brother. they might say they didn't enjoy the sibling experience as much as I did, idk. The youngest girl was always favored over everyone else as well, so that didn't help matters and made her get left out even more because we were all jealous of the extra attention/gifts/praise she got.
As a kid I always wanted a sister, but as I got older I wondered if that would be a good or bad thing. Ha!
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
EDD/Weeks + Days:
3/12/20 - 21+6
How old is/are your other kid(s)?
2, 2.5 next month
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?
She's good. We received her autism diagnosis a couple of months ago and have been slowly adding all of the different therapies. So far, OT is the hardest for her. She really struggles with sensory processing and adult-guided instruction, so doing just that for an hour really pisses her off. She's made SO much progress in speech though. She even is answering yes and no questions about 75% of the time now!
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth?
Perhaps not needing Pitocin. That would be fantastic. Like @mommytimesfour I really enjoy labor and delivery, so I'm looking forward to that experience again. Also DD has started really loving the babies at her daycare and has recently asked to "go to school and see the babies" on weekends. It's so cute!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family?
I am really scared we'll have another case of reflux/colic on our hands, and how to manage that with an almost three-year-old.
How many children do you want, and why?
I always wanted three, then I said I'd never TTC again after infertility and RPL before DD. We will see how two go.. I honestly am not sure we could afford three either financially or mentally.
EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/20 20+5
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 3.5
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Really great. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing. All of a sudden she is not at all a toddler, she’s a big kid. It’s wild. If I could just get her to poop on the potty 100% of the time....
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Maternity leave. I love my job but I need a break, and I’m so glad with this baby my leave will go right up to the summer. Last time I only got 8 weeks and it was hard to go back.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Yeah. All the concerns. Like many of you, I’m worried about having enough time and attention for both kids. Also worried how I’ll have time for myself. Just all of it.
How many children do you want, and why? Two and DONE. I wasn’t even sure I wanted two before I got KU tbh. Of course I’m thrilled but this is definitely our last. I’ve told H already he’s getting snipped as soon as this baby is out.
@WorkingOnMyNightCheese yay for therapy and progress!
@varimama you’re right, personality and parenting is so much of it. Of course we all want our kids to be best of friends, and we can help foster that to an extent, but who knows what personalities and dynamics will arise.
How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD turns 4 this month, which I'm getting more emotional about than I thought I would. And DS will be 2 in January.
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? They're doing good, listening to the book @EmilyLove25 suggested and it seems to help with my strong willed daughter when I'm able to apply it, but is also still challenging and makes me feel like I've already F-ed her up a little bit. We'll be alright... DS is becoming more 'I want to do it on my own' with everything, but he's still a pretty easy kid, good listener, super helpful, etc.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? I can't believe how slowly the first weeks dragged on, and now how fast it's going. Other people have mentioned, but I agree that the holidays are also going to make time fly by, so just trying to soak it all in. Assuming she is as laid back as my last two as teeny babies, just looking forward to that precious time off work spending every second trying to memorize her little features that will be different the next day!!
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Starting to get some worries about everything going smoothly when she comes, whether she will pass all of her post birth tests, hearing, etc and whether she will be laid back like my last. Not sure why these are creeping in suddenly, getting closer maybe.
How many children do you want, and why? Soooooooo, after my first and right after my second I knew I wanted three. As my second got older I was more on the fence feeling like I was getting 'out of the woods' from breastfeeding etc. but my husband tipped the scale and we decided to go for three. When we got pregnant I was so adamant when people asked if this was our last that they all probably thought this was unintentional.
Now that I'm embarking back in the thick of it, and I do blame some of this on pregnancy hormones like @silverhope mentioned, but my answer to people who ask if this is our last is 'I think so', and now I have this article to lean on .
Part of it too, and some of you have mentioned similar feelings, is the sex part. I'm not sure if it is because DS was the easier on me delivery/recovery/personality mesh wise and he's my most recent so a boy is what I'm 'used to' and associate all the newborn-ness and the whole experience. So finding out this is a girl has been an adjustment, and leaves me kind of wanting more. Even though I know we couldn't magic #4 to be a boy. I also like to think it's just a little bit FOMO, like literally each kid I've found out the sex and had a twinge of missing out feeling that it wasn't the opposite, like thought I wanted a boy first, then was terrified of having a boy and just wanted another girl, and now thinking I want a boy is just a little more final with this potentially (realistically, financially, mentally and my age) being our last. But, I am certain all of these feelings will be out the window when she comes, has a name, becomes a person, etc.
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3 now, she will be over 3.5 when baby comes
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?
DD is doing great. Things have improved at preschool and she has become really independent with caring for herself in the past month or so. She is obsessed with preparing for the baby and tells everyone she meets about her baby brother.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth?
Like some have said I am excited to have an outside baby and never be pregnant again. I am having a very smooth pregnancy (thank goodness bc work is insane) but overall I’m just not super in love with the pregnancy stage and really enjoy the cuddly baby stage. I’m also very excited to breastfeed again. I had a great experience the first time around and can’t wait to have that bonding experience again.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family?
This is a long one so bear with me.
I wanted 2, DH would have been fine with 1 but I wanted DD to have a sibling and get that bond. I’m so excited we are having a boy because my brother and I are very close and are around the same age gap.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@kantobean YES on maternity leave. Not going to lie… SUPER excited for that!
@stac4056 SO glad the book is helping! Also I’m sure I’ve said this before and will say it again, but our kids are almost EXACTLY the same age. We might need to FB message each other for support in March haha!
@AAAG13 SO glad to hear things at preschool are improving!
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
@EmilyLove25 Absolutely!!
@treetop19 I love babies too. I am looking forward to having a newborn to cuddle and easily carry around.
@stassischroeder I am with you about the last pregnancy. I'm a little sad I won't experience any of this again, even though this pregnancy has been very hard. I just know later I'll want another baby. 🙄
@miss.sally that's adorable that he's hugging all the babies 😂 I would find that so cute if I saw it!
@varimama I have less patience and kindness than normal too and I hate it. I was thinking about doing a course online or something to find some tips to help me do better. I may be struggling a little more than I realized with all the recent life changes.
@WorkingOnMyNightCheese I'm really glad your daughter is doing so well. That must be so encouraging!
@stac4056 it was an adjustment for my husband and I as well, finding out we're having a girl. The idea of teenage and young adult years are kinda scary!
EDD/Weeks + Days: March 15/21 weeks + 5 days
How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3
How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Good. Lots of energy, which makes me even more tired.
What are you most excited for with this pregnancy/birth? Tough question. I'm actually really nervous about this birth. My last one was traumatic and scary and I'm in lousy shape with this one. It stresses me out.
Any new concerns regarding adding to your family? Juggling 2 young kids most of the time by myself. Making both of them feel loved and important, plus challenging their minds appropriately.
How many children do you want, and why? I always wanted 4 but after everything it's taken just to have these 2 I think I'm going to call it good with 2.
LSS: I'm sure he'd survive, but my gut reaction is
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
DS born 4/4/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
DS born 4/4/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
edit: spelling
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
DS born 4/4/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I realize every situation is very different, but I thought I'd share an option that worked for us.
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
DS born 4/4/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20