Med-Free Birth

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

Are you hoping to have a med free birth? What questions do you have?

Have you had a med free birth? Share your tips!

brookert615 · November 2019

Thank you so much for starting this! So FTM here and hoping to go med-free if possible. Everyone says breathing exercises but is there anything to do to help prepare? Make things go smoothly? Also I've heard a lot about c-section and recovery after epidurals but hardly hear about recovery going med-free!

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

I tried for a med-free birth with DS1. To prepare I did the following:
*Read “Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May
*Tried learning hypnobirthing (I don’t think I was doing it right?)
*Hired a doula
*Did prenatal yoga
*Took a birth class at my hospital

What worked best for me to get through each contraction was the “ohm-ing” I learned in yoga. It was more of a low moan/hum during labor, but it really helped me stay in control and vocalize without screaming.

My doula and husband took turns applying counter pressure to my back during contractions which eased them a little.

A little back story: my water broke first. Generally contractions are stronger after water breaks. Contractions started within 30 minutes and they were all 3 minutes apart or less the entire time. In the end, I was stuck at 8cm for hours and I was just so frustrated so I opted for the epidural. My body could finally relax and do its thing, I was complete within an hour, and pushed him out 1.5 hours later with no problems. No regrets.

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@brookert615 I don’t notice any difference in recovery between my patients who had an epidural vs med-free. The biggest difference is immediately after baby is out. Without an epidural, you will feel more uncomfortable while your provider/nurse does a uterine massage to help the placenta get out, to get blood clots out, and to make sure your uterus is firming up (so you don’t hemorrhage). And if you tear (most first time vaginal births do), you will need to get local anesthetic in your vaginal area so you don’t feel the stitches. But I mean, either a needle in your spine for epidural or a needle in your vagina for local 🤷🏼‍♀️

But concerning how patients feel, I don’t see any difference.

doodleoodle · November 2019

I had a med-free birth and honestly, I don’t think you can prepare. Everything I read went to the wayside. I will say that everyone makes a big deal about how big baby’s head is, and honestly, the baby actually being born just felt like a slight stinging even though I had second degree tearing. The real pain was the contractions. In order to deal with that I just closed my eyes and thought about how temporary it all was. Also, not lady like at all, but I cussed like, a lot. It’s been proven to help relieve stress 🤷‍♀️😂

clee5711 · November 2019

@doodleoodle I believe fuck, fuck, and oh fuck were the only things I said during labor with #2. They let me get an epidural but it barely even started to take the edge off before it was time to push.

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

I also just want to say that EVERYONE planning on a vaginal birth should plan for a med-free birth. Even if you’re fully planning on getting an epidural. Because sometimes you go too fast and you don’t have time for an epidural. Sometimes the epidural only works on one side. Sometimes it just doesn’t work at all. You need something in your arsenal to deal.

noxacanthus · November 2019

@daffodil_shoe That's good advice. I'm definitely one of those "how fast can you drug me so I feel nothing" people, but I didn't realize that labor could go that fast. I'll need to do some research now.

brookert615 · November 2019

So the perineal massage - worth it? When does one start? Lol

bg122785 · November 2019

@daffodil_shoe Agree! I labored for as long as I could without meds with my first. But I was induced and once they broke my water, they were not kidding that the contractions would be very intense since I had been induced. So I finally got an epidural. But as I laid there finally relaxed and comfortable, I heard horrific screaming from the next room. And my nurse told me that the woman in the next room had been debating and epidural and then decided at the last minute but I was getting mine, and her labor progressed so quickly she didn't get the chance to get it. So I totally agree with preparing for no epidurals if you are planning on an vaginal birth.

rikiteacup · November 2019

I've been watching this documentary (not in English) on Youtube about women delivering. The ones that want to go med free are in serious effing pain. It scares me. Each contraction looks like someone is ripping them open. Most of them end up begging for an epidural. I will say that their labor isn't going fast though. Once they are fully dilated, the pain doesn't seem to be so bad.

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@brookert615 don’t bother with the perineal “massage.” The best things you can do to prevent tearing are positioning (studies show side-lying is the best, squatting is the worst), ask your doctor to use lube, and let baby stretch you rather than push her out super hard and fast.

doodleoodle · November 2019

@brookert615 I agree with @daffodil_shoe about not pushing super hard and fast. That’s the mistake I made because I had a “I just want to get this over with mentality”. Your body is going to tell you to push like crazy and it’s hard to fight the urge to listen to it, but if you do then you’ll likely tear. I did.

brookert615 · November 2019

@daffodil_shoe @doodleoodle Good to know! As for the whole lube thing - do doctors keep that on-hand or is that something that has to be requested ahead of time? Sorry I feel silly asking that but just curious haha

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@brookert615 you will need to ask your provider. I only know what my hospital does. We keep lube in every room and providers routinely use it.

brookert615 · November 2019

@daffodil_shoe Thank you! Sorry for all of the questions!

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@brookert615 questions are literally what this forum is for!

clee5711 · November 2019

@daffodil_shoe definitely a good idea to plan for no epidural.

@brookert615 with my first the second used lube without me asking and I have no clue for my second. I had Slight tearing with both kids. It isn’t something I would have even thought to ask about before now.

I’m someone who the epidural only numbs half my body. They came back to fix it twice with my first which is probably how I was so numb I felt nothing-still pushed out an 8lb6oz kid in 45 mins. With number 2 it barely started numbing half and there wasn’t time for adjusting bc it was go time. At that point I was in enough pain that I’m not sure I would have remembered any labor tricks besides closing my eyes and swearing. Kid came fast and furious so getting up to move or even change positions was the last thing I wanted to do once contractions started.

craftywitch · November 2019

Okay this turned into a novel, but it's what worked for me last time and what I'm doing again:

1. Doula- We've already hired the same doula again. She confirmed what was normal, reminded us of techniques we couldn't conjure up from birthing class, and was our point person for all uncertainty.

2. Environment- Making decisions during labor was a total blur because it was the most extreme and intense thing I've ever experienced and I was out of my mind a lot and don't remember pieces of it. I needed for no one to suggest drugs (or nitrous in my case) and only to suggest how to cope and offer support and encouragement. Stress is the opposite of oxytocin so in my opinion the room itself, familiar faces, and attitudes of the people supporting me were everything. Lots of things went "wrong" and my birth team handled them while never acting as though there was a reason to be scared or stressed.

3. Extensive birthing classes with focus on med-free- I had back labor and these classes are how my husband knew what to do and how to do it. Also these classes are the reason I recognized transition as it was happening and didn't freak out.

4. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth & Birth Without Fear- Overcoming fear was the biggest hurdle. Every single person in my real life told me horror birth stories and my parents told me I would die if I didn't go to a hospital and that because my Mom and Grandma had C/Ss that I would need one too. I needed to internalize positive birth stories and have a rock-solid belief that my body could do it.

5. Affirmations- I love the litany against fear all the time, but I have already started telling myself these daily and doodling them out regularly. Internalizing them helped a ton the first time:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." – Frank Herbert, Dune

"There is a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." – Laura Stavoe Harm

"Your body is not a lemon. The creator is not a careless mechanic." –Ina May

"I am strong. My body is stronger than I can even imagine."

"I can do hard things. I do hard things all the time."

"I am already doing it."

"My body was made for this."

"My body knows what it's doing."

6. Exercise- 100 squats a day is my baseline prep for birth. Crossfit is strongly tied to birth for me. I do workouts that look absolutely impossible all the time and know that I have to focus on one specific movement at a time and just get through each second without worrying about how long it's been or how much further I have to go. Blood, sweat, and tears are all acceptable. Quitting is not. The only way out is through.

craftywitch · November 2019

@brookert615 I may be a freak, but I didn't tear at all with my 8.5lbs first baby. I didn't do any directed pushing though and only pushed when my body forced me to with the push reflex, gave birth side-lying, and the midwife supported my perineum with a warm washcloth which at the very least felt super helpful and nice at the time. We did no massage in advance, and also used no lube.

brookert615 · November 2019

@craftywitch Dang girl - that's seriously so awesome you didn't tear! Thank you for sharing your experience... it's really nice to hear a good med-free experience. I'm stealing all of your affirmations, too! Lol!

craftywitch · November 2019

@brookert615 When I was pregnant with DS all I wanted in the world was for someone to tell me they had positive, empowering birth where it all played out how they hoped. Now I try to be that person and offer an alternative perspective and experience.

rikiteacup · November 2019

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. I am not opposed to a med free birth but it really scares me and watching these shows on YouTube isn't helping

If you request a med free birth, are nurses and midwives using all the tips mentioned above or do you need to advocate for yourself like request to deliver on your side?

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

Sorry, thought of a few more things...

Please let your nurse place a saline lock. Nothing has to go in the IV right then, it can be locked for later use. But if things go south, you don’t want them searching for a vein while trying to rush you back to OR.

Ask your provider options for monitoring baby’s heart rate and contractions. Generally something like these will be used:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/2h/oaqepziysqck.jpeg

But then you’re tethered to the machine. So changing position is tricky, and you will have to be taken off monitoring to walk.

BUT ask if they have a wireless monitor! We don’t have enough for every patient, but we do have a few Noviis that look like this:

A wireless monitor system would be more ideal so that you can move around.

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@rikiteacup unfortunately that depends on the nurse’s experience level. And your nurse is really the one who is with you the whole time. As for your provider, that’s a good question for them right now. That’s also why having a doula for a med-free birth is a great idea. It’s really hard to advocate for yourself when you’re in that kind of pain, so your doula advocates for you.

clee5711 · November 2019

@rikiteacup I delivered both kids at a women’s hospital and with my first I made it very clear I would be getting an epidural ASAP but until the pitocin kicked in I walked the halls with a wireless monitor and sat on a birthing ball for a bit. My delivery room also had a tub you could labor in and shower in the bathroom. This was all offered without my asking when I first got to my room. Most of the drs in my practice are pretty traditional with the standard birthing position so that’s where a midwife or doula would be needed if I wanted something else.

brookert615 · November 2019

@craftywitch Honestly it is seriously so refreshing to hear!

@daffodil_shoe The hospital mentioned that they have one of the wireless ones but to request it if we wanted one, just hope I remember to ask lol.

So kind of in relation to moving around... at what point are you unable to get up on your own (if applicable) and does a catheter always gets placed even if you're med-free in a hospital/birthing center?

daffodil_shoe · November 2019

@brookert615 There is no reason to get a catheter unless you physically can’t get to a toilet. At my hospital a catheter is only placed if you get an epidural. And even then, not always. Because I didn’t get the epidural til 8cm, I didn’t get one. My midwife just straight-cathed me with a red robinson before I started pushing.

kiwi2628 · November 2019

So I had a med-free birth not by choice, but I am going to try to have one again this time. My goal last time was to do whatever I wanted- I wasn't for a med free birth but if I could do it, I was happy to do it. I did want to try to avoid the 'cascade of interventions' as they call them, but also in the end, the most important things for me is healthy baby and healthy mom, so I was pen to what was needed. My medical background also made a lot of this stuff less scary since I already knew about a lot of it. I was very open with all options. I didn't do any prep work because for me, that stuff makes me get in my own head too much and stresses me out. I went in with the mind-set of our bodies are made for this, and while things can go wrong such as baby position or head size or whatever, in general most people can do this and the meds are just axillary, so why stress about it.

So- water broke and a few hours later I called my doula and said it hurt like hell and I wanted an epidural. She told me since it had only been 5 hours I was unlikely to be very dilated, but she would meet me at the hospital. Once I got to the hospital we found out I was already 7 cm. They did BW for so I could get the epidural, but we found out that I had a very low platelet count secondary to pre-eclampsia so I could not get an epidural- cue the 'now I am having a med free birth'. So what I can recommend is based off of a last minute not-by-choice-but-I-am-gonna-try-to-do-it-again med free birth.

1. Get the hep lock. It's just for safety. God forbid something happens (like with a friend of mine)- when she was delivering the placenta her cord snapped and she started bleeding out profusely. Without the hep-lock and the immediate bolus of fluids she might have died because her blood pressure tanked quickly. They dont need to attach it to anything if you ask not to. Just do it. Best case scenario is you have an IV cath for a few hours and then they remove it without it being used.

2. If you are thinking about it, get a doula. She was the best piece of money I spent. She really helped me during the labor with pain management and positioning and it was comforting to have a support person there besides my husband who I could focus on. Especially when my babys heart rate started to decel and they were talking options- she really helped in that moment of panic.

3. I did get a few vaginal injections of lidocaine which kind of helped. I didn't even know that was an option, but it made it less painful during the 'ring of fire' and when I tore a bit.

4. Listen to your body! No one told me when to push. No one told me how long or what to do. I told them when I felt a contraction coming so they could help me push, but the pushing was all self-directed. And really it is instinctual...like the urge to bear down and push I can't even describe other than you just do it.

5. Don't be afraid to let the doctor help. My doctor pushed down on my perineum while I was laboring and it was fairly uncomfortable, but he was continually lubing me up and helping keep my perineum from tearing. I had a tiiiiny tear, but my baby also had a 97th percentile head so I am gonna call that a super win.

6. Dont be afraid to try different positions. I found my contractions felt less awful when I would rock on all fours. I felt like an idiot but it really was the best position to be in for me. So move around and see what is best for you.

7. Dont be afraid to feel dumb. I moaned like a wounded animal through every contraction. It was animalistic and I felt so weird after each contraction (after the contraction is over you feel totally normal- no pain, no nothing, you are just a normal human waiting for the next one) because I felt like an animal, but it felt the most natural to me. But honestly- who the fuck cares? Also when I was crowning I screamed at my doctor 'I can feel my clit tearing! I can't do this!'. No shame (PS. my clit wasn't tearing, it was just stretching a LOOOOT)

kiwi2628 · November 2019

@brookert615 I dont have anything to compare to, but my recovery post-natural was pretty easy. I sat on an ice pack for about 24 hours which felt AMAAAAAZING. I did take the ibuprofen or whatever they offered after, and I also did take a percocet right after because I just wanted something, but honestly, the adrenaline takes the edge off the pain for quite a while and then after that motrin and stuff dull it. It was nice though because I was able to get up after and tend to the baby and get up and pee and all that. And mostly I laid around for the few hours after but the next day I was up and moving fairly well.

Note to anyone though- DONT LOOK AT YOUR NAKED BODY IN A MIRROR AFTER. Jesus christ. I accidentally saw my labia in the mirror the next day when I took a shower and that shit I cannot unsee. The swelling...my god haha

sassypants2010 · November 2019

@kiwi2628 I second not looking at the deflated body after delivery, after my first i cried at how cartoonish my belly looked. Like a balloon left to deflate too long, the weird wrinkly overstretched skin look especially.

I had two epidural free births and one with epidural, I was induced all three times so I can't comment on natural labor. But I can say that the after recovery was easier for me with the epidural free deliveries because I was able to walk sooner on my own and I really need to have my faculties after pushing a human out of my body. That said the uterine massages were more manageable with the epidural birth. I want to try for no epidural this time, but if babe is stuck in a bad position like my last one I am also open to pain meds if needed.

leksiL · November 2019

I am going for a med-free VBAC birth this time! I've done the following to prepare -- although I am treated as a FTM when it comes to birth since I haven't ever gone into labor so take what I take with a grain of salt.

- Reading the Ina May book referenced by @daffodil_shoe . @rikiteacup - I'd suggest this instead of the videos. There are a lot of birth stories and it is very empowering. She talks a lot about the cervix being a sphincter muscle which can stay tight/closed if you have too much fear/anxiety/etc. We took Bradley classes for #1 so I would suggest those if you didn't they were very helpful.

- Hired a doula. She is bringing aromatherapy, electric candles, and will take pictures too. Our hospital has a laboring tub that I hope to use.

- Go as intervention-free as possible.
- Using midwives only. I saw a doctor for our level-2 ultrasound but with luck I won't have to see any more.

- My doula is helping us do a birth plan that will be flexible. While I hope to not have an epidural, I'm open to having one if it can avoid having a cesarean, which I care about avoiding x1000 more.

- I'm working really hard on learning to relax and meditation. I've never been in labor so I don't know what the heck I am doing but it helps me deal with pain a lot so giving it a try.

shellac835 · November 2019

Didn't mean for this to get so long! I had a pretty amazing unmedicated (i did use nitrous) water birth with my son. Part of it is luck: my labor was straightforward, shorter than average, he was in a good position, and I had a really supportive birth team. But I did do quite a bit to prepare which helped, more mentally than physically. Key things were:

- Having the right provider. I delivered at a hospital but with a midwife group; I would never use an OB unless there was a medical reason to. Everyone was accustomed to the idea of an unmedicated birth so I didn't have to do a ton of advocating to get it. Along with this is the right environment, which is easier some places than others. Low lights, ability to not have constant checks/tests, nice music, calmness. Not a lot of people in the room, intimate.

- As everyone has said, a doula is so helpful. Not just for you but for your partner. Mine helped us navigate a few situations at the hospital, helped us know it was time to leave home, and answered some of my husband's questions when he was getting nervous about things (i.e. how intense transition was.)

- Read all you can! I devoured books about unmedicated birth and they just helped me feel confident and prepared, really reduced the fear that people are mentioned. Anything by Penny Simkin is fantastic, but there are a lot out there. Also read birth stories of unmedicated births to normalize it for yourself.

- Most important be informed, and make sure your partner is informed. Understand the different stages of labor and what to expect, know a slew of possible coping mechanisms and write them down, and talk to your partner about what you think you will like best (but know you may feel differently in the moment.)

- For me using nitrous for a bit and then being able to labor in the tub were game changers. I'm not sure I would have made it unmedicated without those things (of course plenty of women do,) but getting to use those were key moments in my labor.

I delivered in the tub on hands and knees and did tear a bit, but didn't know it (my biggest birth fear was the ring of fire and I didn't even feel it!) One perk of having nitrous available is being able to use it afterwards while they're stitching and massaging your uterus. I wouldn't change a thing about my first birth and am hopeful to have a similar experience this time.

ibabyloveb87 · November 2019

I am just reading along here because I think it’s interesting to hear everyone’s experiences. I couldn’t do it med free....major props to those of you have and will do it this time!! Y’all are amazing!

(I’ll be over here all numbed up for my RCS 😬)

zseirecarg · November 2019

+1 to be prepared to go med free even you don't want to. My only plan with DD was get an epidural & keep both of us safe. Long story short, they sent me home from the hospital when I went the first time, labored through the night by myself and went back in the morning to be 10cm and there was no time for an epidural (they did have to break my water). Thankfully I had signed up the Doula program our hospital offers and that was a lifesaver. But never did I ever plan to go med free.

leksiL · November 2019

@zseirecarg this happened to a girl in my Bradley class except she gave birth in her own bathtub by accident! She was like husband wake up!!

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