PGAL (Pregnant After Loss) November

virginiaham · November 2019

**Nov 15 update**
Unless anyone objects or has other ideas, we’ll change this to a monthly thread with a mid-month check-in. The standing invitation remains for PGAL mamas to resurrect the thread throughout the month ANY time you need to. ❤️

—————————————-

Late to start this this week, and I know not everyone who is here AL will feel the need to check in each week, but I’d love to continue this space so it’s here when/if you need it.

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?

Previous loss(es)?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

Any milestones coming up?

virginiaham · November 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I saw your last check in last week in PGAL...how are you doing this week?

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 10+0, 5th pregnancy, 1 living daughter

Previous loss(es)? Early x3 - 3/2016, 9/2018, 5/2019

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically exhausted and dying to like coffee again. Emotionally just remembering that the relief from each pregnancy milestone can be so short-lived. 10 weeks feels like a big milestone when all of my losses have been before 7 weeks, but it all just feels vulnerable and fragile still.

Any appointment updates? Graduated from the RE 2 weeks ago after an US and heartbeat check, and I see a new midwife in 2 weeks.

Rants/Raves/Questions? I’m thankful for home dopplers and having a way to find baby’s heartbeat.

Any milestones coming up? My first loss EDD is in a couple weeks. I know I’ll be ok that day...I think the EDD coming up in January for my most recent loss will be harder, when a friend who was due at the same time gives birth.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

@virginiaham Thank you for starting this! I was so afraid I was the only one who wanted a PGAL thread since no one joined in last week. I feel you on missing coffee! And that is so great that you have passed your milestones!

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 7+4, STM, 4th Pregnancy, 1 living DS

Previous loss(es)? Two MMC's 2/19 and 6/19

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically my symptoms are pretty consistent and strong which is reassuring. My boobs are constantly sore, I get nauseous if I don't eat enough, Can't stomach coffee which I LOVE! Emotionally I'm a mess most days. PGAL brain is in full force.

Any appointment updates? Today I had a follow up U/S after my bleeding scare 2 weeks ago. I still seem to have lot's of discharge and random bouts of spotting. But it's probably all progesterone related(suppository and PIO). I was super relieved to hear my RE tell me today that everything looked perfect! Baby is measuring on track, and heartbeat is 164! One more appt with the RE in two weeks and then I will graduate to my OB!

Rants/Raves/Questions? I am just so thrilled that everything looked great today

But I know the worry and PGAL brain will set back in after the initial relief of todays appt wears off.

Any milestones coming up? Both my losses were discovered around 8 weeks so next week is big for me. But since I won't see my RE again until 9 weeks that will be a milestone appt.

virginiaham · November 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Awww celebrating with you that all looked well today! I’ll be sitting with you in the wait for your next RE appointment and keeping FX crossed!! PGAL brain SUCKS, and can rear its ugly head in a instant. Drop a line here whenever you need to ❤️

What are you drinking in place of coffee??

I know the AL-specific check-in can feel redundant, but even if there’s low participation or even just us, I love the idea of having it here for anyone to resurrect when they’re having a hard PGAL day and just need to vent or have someone sit with them.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

@virginiaham I completely agree that I feel better having this thread. So I am all for that! ❤️

Thank you for the support! Today has been huge for me and I’m just trying to enjoy it as much as I can. Before pgal brain rears her ugly head.

I haven’t found anything to replace coffee. I had switched to decaf during TTC and IF treatments and I don’t really like tea unless I’m sick. So I pretty much just drink water. I really miss that morning cup though. Have you replaced it with anything?

kerco925 · November 2019

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 10, June 1

Previous loss(es)? CP, twin MMC

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I am a mess today emotionally. Symptoms keep going away and coming back, so I'm not too nervous about that. But today I am so crampy and feel like I am about to start my period. It's making me really anxious and I keep running to the bathroom to check.

Any appointment updates? I had an appointment this week, but doctor didnt do anything but talk. I have my genetic/NT scan on the 21st.

Rants/Raves/Questions? None

Any milestones coming up? Nope.

kiki75 · November 2019

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 9+5, June 7, 4th pregnancy, 1 living DS

Previous loss(es)? MMC at 9 w, CP

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Physically, this has been the most symptomatic pregnancy so far. Emotionally, it seems like I’m going with the somewhat detached thing again. Like the logical side is going along with being pregnant but my heart is still firmly “riiiiight.” I hate that it’s so hard to just separate the pregnancies and go all in on joy for one. I envy the innocence some people have. Like when I called my OB’s to reschedule my first appt because she was out sick and the receptionist chirped, “Oh! This is an exciting appointment!!!” How would it be to go in there just 100% certain it was just exciting and fun? Instead I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering if we’d do a D&C this time or the pill like the first.

Any appointment updates? Finally, today. Can’t wait to see what my bp is with the anxiety level. 😬

Rants/Raves/Questions? I just hope today is a great day.

Any milestones coming up? Nah.

@hanshotfirst77 Have you tried hot water with lemon? It’s decent and you get that nice hot cup in the morning. I felt like a raging a-hole ordering it places when I didn’t look pregnant yet.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/v1/hlnuvr6j7yop.gif

@virginiaham It’s so hard when you had someone you know due around the same time. ❤️

@kerco925 I hope the cramping passes soon. It’s really disconcerting.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

@kiki75 Good luck on your appt today! Let us know how it goes. I've been a nervous wreck during all my appts so far. And I feel you on the envy. I wish I was one of those people who get a bfp and are instantly just happy and just know it will all be great.

I haven't tried that yet. But I will. I think I really miss the ritual since I had already ditched the caffeine part long ago. And love the gif. I just finished the latest season of Schitts Creek I love that show!

@kerco925 I hope the cramps go away soon.

virginiaham · November 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I drink tons of plain water also, and I’m all over the place with it... I can’t do anything with the faintest hint of sweet (didn’t know the hot sausage in our soup last night had a sweet flavor til I almost couldn’t eat dinner), but peppermint/green tea blend has been ok, and I tried iced coffee a few days ago and it’s palatable. For now, until I hate that too 😆

@kerco925 Ugh I’m so sorry about the cramping and the worry that brings. I had a couple of bad nights/mornings with the same thing this last week. I hope it passes for you.

@kiki75 Sitting with you in all. of. that. It’s not an exciting time when I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop at any moment and each night I go to bed thankful that it wasn’t today and I got to keep the pregnancy for another day. Big hugs, I hope today is another great day!!

kerco925 · November 2019

The cramping seems to have mostly subsided today. I feel like I am typically so optimistic, but with pregnancy, I am way too uncomfortable with being positive at this point.

@kiki75 I can relate so much to everything you said. Wondering if I would get D&C this time after my nightmare natural miscarriage last time. Also, the receptionist at the doctors office kept saying "congrats" and "this is so exciting" and I wanted to say, it's way too early for that. I dont even know if baby is progressing.

kiki75 · November 2019

Baby is right on track with a HB of 166! I’m so relieved. Now I’ll be happy for a handful of days before I just stress out until NIPT. 🙄

virginiaham · November 2019

kiki75 said:

Baby is right on track with a HB of 166! I’m so relieved. Now I’ll be happy for a handful of days before I just stress out until NIPT. 🙄

Yesssss @kiki75!!

virginiaham · November 2019

Hey ladies, bumping this thread to ask, should we do a monthly thread instead of weekly with maybe a mid-month check in on the same thread, and then the general guidance that absolutely anyone resurrect the thread any time in between when needed?

kerco925 · November 2019

@virginiaham Sounds good to me.

virginiaham · November 2019

**thread update**

Unless anyone objects or has other ideas, we’ll change this to a monthly thread with a mid-month check-in. The standing invitation remains for PGAL mamas to resurrect the thread throughout the month ANY time you need to. ❤️

MID-MONTH CHECK-IN

How are you doing?

Anything we can support you on?

GTKY: What’s been your go-to drink this month?

virginiaham · November 2019

How are you doing? I’m feeling guarded this week. I woke up from a super vivid loss dream earlier this week with a named diagnosis and then the doctor slapped an adoption packet down for me at the end of the appointment. The diagnosis in my dream isn’t even a real thing 🙄 but it still rattled me. Plus fighting a yeast infection and I started spotting pink last night. I don’t think it’s real spotting... ((TMI there’s nothing when I insert progesterone suppositories but, like, from weeping tissue 😩))

Anything we can support you on? Thanks for reading my little rant ❤️

GTKY: What’s been your go-to drink this month? Plain water all day, San Pellegrino with dinner.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

MID-MONTH CHECK-IN

How are you doing? It really depends on the day. Some days I am feeling great and am so positive and optimistic about this pregnancy. And other days I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm in my 8th week and this is where I had my other losses. Kinda just hoping and praying I get through it and my appt next week is good.

Anything we can support you on? Just having this thread is huge for me. I don't feel like I belong in a lot of other threads on this board so I am really thankful this one exists.

GTKY: What’s been your go-to drink this month? Water all day every day.

@virginiaham I'm sorry about the dreams and the spotting. I've had that pretty much this whole pregnancy off and on and everytime it goes away its such a relief and everytime it comes back it's so disconcerting. I say a little prayer everytime i wipe. But if it helps me RE has assured me over and over this pregnancy that it's completely normal.

lovelylittledahls · November 2019

I'm a bit late for the mid-month check in, but I just joined the app and I'm so happy to have found this thread!

MID-MONTH CHECK-IN

How are you doing?: Pretty good. We've heard the heartbeat twice now so my logical side says everything is good but my emotions are more hesitant. The anxiety isn't as continuous as it was at first, but pops up in weird ways. I had to go to my first doc appointment by myself because my husband had to stay home with the kids (we had seen baby at an elective ultrasound a couple weeks prior so I was fine with this) and I absolutely panicked when I was in the office. Also, like @virginiaham, I'm battling a yeast infection. I've never had one before and the thought of putting cream all up in my business freaks me completely out. As does the discharge the next morning. I've spent more time inspecting pantyliners than I care to admit. I'm so ready for this week of treatment to be over.

Anything we can support you on? Anyone have anything reassuring to say about yeast infections and their treatment? I know they're common in pregnancy, therefore the treatments must be common, and my ob seems to be the cautious type so I don't think he'd tell me to do anything risky at all. It's just the latest thing my brain has decided to stress about. I'm even second guessing my decision to announce on Thanksgiving 🤦‍♀️

GTKY: What’s been your go-to drink this month?: Ugh. I wish I could find something! I think I'm going to try sparkling water. Sweet drinks don't hit my stomach right, but the carbonation in soda seems to help me feel better. Hoping that sparkling water with lime or something will be a good combination!

virginiaham · November 2019

@lovelylittledahls hugs...FWIW I ended up with the pharmacy thrown at me for yeast, UTI and a bacterial infection 😩 ... I was a hot mess. Meds were both oral and vaginal. I didn’t love the idea of exposing baby to all of those, but the ones I was prescribed are all considered safe, and the risk of any one of those infections getting out of control is far worse than the risk from the little exposure to those meds. Girl I’m sitting on the other side of a week of treatment....WORTH IT. ❤️

kerco925 · November 2019

I have two appointments today and my anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I cant possibly get good news. I wish i could be a little more excited and less nervous.

virginiaham · November 2019

@kerco925 my lovetit is a hug.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

@kerco925 I hope your appts go well today ❤️

I know how you feel my anxiety was crazy before my appt today.

AFM I had my final appt with my RE today. I just cannot believe I made it. I’ve been with my RE for over 3 years. Part of me thought this day would never come. 9+4 today and though not totally out of the woods I officially surpassed my loss milestones and saw my healthy baby kicking up a storm. Measuring on track with a strong heartbeat of 170. And this weekend I stop my progesterone and estrogen supplements. 2 more weeks and then I’ll start seeing my OB.

kerco925 · November 2019

So happy for you @hanshotfirst77

virginiaham · November 2019

@hanshotfirst77 happy RE graduation day ❤️❤️

kerco925 · November 2019

NT scan went well. Now I can exhale for a bit.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2019

@kerco925 so glad to hear it went well

lovelylittledahls · November 2019

@virginiaham oh man! That sounds rough! I can't imagine the stress and discomfort. I should only have a few days to go on treatment thankfully. So glad you're doing better! Hopefully it will be smooth sailing for both of us from here on out! ❤

ErikandAfton · November 2019

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 12 weeks 1 day. June 4th, 2 ( 1 angel baby and my 3 year old)

Previous loss(es)? 1, missed miscarriage diagnosed at 9 weeks on 11/14/15

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Now that we've seen baby twice and with a heartbeat I'm feeling okay. The fact that the anniversary of my loss and D&C is in a few days is messing with me some, but we should get to see this baby Monday at my NT scan so that's making me feel better.

Any appointment updates? Saw baby last week on the 12th. Heartrate was 176 and baby was waving arms and legs. NT scan Monday morning.

Rants/Raves/Questions? Getting through November is going to be a good thing. I didnt realize how much this pregnancy lined up date/appointment wise with my first and it's been sort of hard emotionally.

Any milestones coming up? November 24 can come and go so we can get to the 25th and see that baby is okay.

virginiaham · November 2019

Appointment went perfectly, baby is wiggly and measuring right on track. I don’t take for granted these “boring” appointments. Not that anyone does, but...you guys know.

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