The things people say when you’re pregnant

emsned · November 2019

Feel free to share, vent and mock. People say some dumb sh*t when they find out you’re pregnant.

emsned · November 2019

My dad’s immediate reaction to my third pregnancy was “slow down champ. It’s 2019 and children are expensive.”
K. Thanks. We’re actually thinking of having even more kids but I guess I’ll let that be a surprise if/when we cross that bridge.

jenabary · November 2019

Oh man @emsned - definitely not the right reaction to an announcement!

Haven’t had too many comments yet since most people still don’t know, but my most annoying conversation so far was at my FIL’s funeral when a woman I had never met proceeded to tell my MIL all about how it sucks to be the MIL unless your DIL’s parents aren’t living. It was so insensitive, and I’m still pissed about it!

mercury94 · November 2019

@jenabary Wow. Just wow. That is awful.

My mother’s reaction to baby’s middle name. “Who’s that for?” I point to my dad. “Oh.” Pretty sure she expected me to use her name as the middle name. Thought she’d just be excited I was naming my daughter after her mother.

Kathryn0903 · November 2019

I'm annoyed at one coworker telling me when I should be eating lunch. Little does she know I eat 2 breakfasts a lot of mornings....

mercury94 · November 2019

@Kathryn0903 OMG, the number of people who ask if I’ve eaten or try to feed me. Trust me, I eat when I’m hungry, which is a lot of the time. I don’t need you to keep track of all my meals.

gingers19 · November 2019

Wow. Speechless at some of these! I haven’t had too many comments yet, but I did have two belly touchers. They were two ladies I had literally just met after church.

mercury94 · November 2019

@gingers19 Don’t get me started on the belly touchers. They are the absolute worst. Last time I had a complete stranger touch my belly while we rode in an elevator. Rude.

sanpelligrino · November 2019

talk about miscarriages! how is that appropriate ?

smallbutmighty77 · November 2019

'Wow! It's good you told people last week because there is no way you could hid that!!' Um, yeah- this is my 3rd in 3yrs of course I couldn't hide it very long!!

**TW ESP PGAL**

But the worst was my mother, who was not thinking and said (messaged to family chat) 'We can't wait to hold baby boy X in our arms, so excited to finally have a boy' WE HAD A BOY! HE DIED! AND YOU DIDN'T GET TO HOLD HIM BECAUSE HE WAS CONNECTED TO MACHINES WHEN YOU CAME TO VISIT!!
Luckily my sister saw it and called to make sure I was ok and that I knew mom wasn't thinking (she is older and sometimes does not realize what she says). But UGH, thanks mom.

mercury94 · November 2019

@smallbutmighty77 I’m so sorry. That was a very insensitive thing to say.

jenabary · November 2019

@smallbutmighty77 I’m glad your sister realized how that might affect you and checked in. Hopefully your mom (and others) will be more careful of comments like that in the future.

mandarenee898 · November 2019

@smallbutmighty77 Stay strong. It’s so hard being a bereaved parent as all too often it seems like we do things to make other people feel better about our kid not being here. It’s kind of you to be so understanding of your mom even though it hurts.

@mercury94 OMG the belly touchers! I had to stop and tell my MIL early on (think I posted about it in a weekly update) that I don’t like her rubbing my belly. I cringed and dealt with it during my first pregnancy but this time around I was like hell no! She doesn’t do just pats either, but full on rubs the belly... ugh. She loves babies but I still need my space and I’m thankful that she understood. The only person that doesn’t need to ask permission is DH as far as I am concerned.

mysteryship · November 2019

Last time I had a stranger rub my belly for a long time and told me she could tell it was a girl. Wrong answer and also so wrong all around. This time I plan on being very straightforward about belly touching.

A teacher at DS's daycare asked me early on (when I was just bloated) if I was pregnant. IN FRONT OF DS. Who is super bright and perceptive. Thankfully we had already told him but jeez, lady.

lmac92 · November 2019

Some of these are much worse than mine. Sorry for those of you who had some truly nasty things said to them! Some people really don’t know how to react to pregnancy.

My first cringe worthy comment was yesterday. I’m just about 15 weeks with my first and am more petite. My husband is a giant. I really popped this week. Like really really popped. Thank god I bought maternity pants last weekend. A coworker says to me “are you wearing maternity pants already?!” And the kicker is she’s like 7 months pregnant! I really don’t think she meant anything by it but now I’m all nervous I’m too big too fast and have put on too much weight!

mercury94 · November 2019

@lmac92 I’m sure it’s not that you are too big. You just want to be comfortable. I switched to maternity clothes by 12 weeks this time and was definitely wearing some maternity clothes by 15 weeks with my first. Regular clothes just aren’t comfortable enough.

mandarenee898 · November 2019

@lmac92 I think some people try to stay out of maternity pants longer than they should out of pride. This time around I said screw it and started wearing them at 9 weeks to be comfortable. I was also wearing some maternity clothes with my first by 15 weeks.

KFrob · November 2019

@lmac92 ppppffffttttt I was in maternity pants around 12 weeks with my first. They are the best! Each person is different too, everyone carries differently. My SIL said she barely wore any maternity clothes. I can't even imagine since I start showing so early.

literatureandink · November 2019

There's one girl at work who loves to comment on what I'm eating and drinking, especially my daily Starbucks. She's really nice in general but thinks she can comment. Listen lady, the only person I let tell me what to do is my ob and she went to school for like a REALLY long time to get to have that honor!

mercury94 · November 2019

@literatureandink I always say that if you didn’t help put the baby in there and you aren’t going to help get the baby out, you have no right to an opinion about the baby.

literatureandink · November 2019

😂😂😂 @mercury94

gingers19 · November 2019

Omg, @mercury94 I love that!

babybison · November 2019

Not your body, not your business!

My MIL and FIL (divorced) both thanked me when they were telling us how happy they were about the pregnancy. Literally said thank you. I mean, it isn't rude, but....weird?

I'm also super private so no touching the bump. Last time at a wedding the bride who I had never met before touched it. She's lucky it was her day.

KFrob · November 2019

@babybison Funny you said that about your ILs My MIL is always bragging to everyone about how many grand kids she has. One day I said to DH isn't it funny how your mom brags, its basically telling everyone one that your kids love to get it on....

danibean19 · November 2019

My least favorite from coworkers (maybe because EVERYONE feels comfortable asking) is HOW ARE YOU FEELING with like a little wink in their voice. Do you really want to know about my insomnia, heartburn, anxiety, nipple pain and how I had to collect my pee for 24 hrs for a high blood pressure work up? No, probably not. So I just find myself saying, great! Feeling great and excited! Can we just do our jobs? We don’t have to talk about my pregnancy every time we have a meeting.

mandarenee898 · November 2019

@danibean19 also from co-workers whenever I have an appointment I get asked “how did it go?” If it is baby-related I tell them it went well but if it isn’t a baby related apt, I say that it was a non-baby apt and it was fine — but they never used to ask me about my apt before!

mercury94 · December 2019

This one was more directed at SIL and my niece, but SIL and I both went through infertility due to PCOS, so we both found this kind of offensive. Lady at a church event walked up to my redheaded niece to talk about how pretty she was. “I have a redheaded DIL and I keep hoping she’ll give me a little redheaded granddaughter. But, they’ve been married 6 years. Starting to think that they don’t know how things work.” Then she turned to MIL and congratulated her on finding a way to get grandkids.

I really wanted to explain that sometimes people don’t have kids on the schedule they want because so many couples struggle (for years) with infertility has that might be the case with her DIL, but I figured anything I said would be considered rude.

emsned · December 2019

@mercury94 it’s shocking that people don’t think about infertility before talking to childless women, but then I remember that even my husband (who I consider to be extremely smart) has to be reminded. He asked his married friends why they hadn’t popped one out yet and I had to elbow him and talk to him afterwards.

mysteryship · December 2019

A cashier asked me "are you sure it's not twins?" last week. I always want to be snarky in response but I'm too shy.

krthouse · December 2019

We got married end of May and found out we were pregnant end of August. We had a whole lot of comments such as "that was fast" and "you sure don't waste any time". The reality is with PCOS I've been working really hard to get my body in a healthy place for having kids for years. We were trying right away because we thought it wouldn't happen naturally, but my doctor wanted us to try first so she could refer us to a healthcare-covered fertility specialist. We were both really surprised and excited that things worked naturally, but sometimes those comments feel so insensitive, and a little pervy

mercury94 · December 2019

@mysteryship Last week, someone told me I looked like I was ready to deliver and then asked if I was sure there weren’t more babies hiding in there. Rude.

smallbutmighty77 · December 2019

How much do you miss wine? I mean- all the holidays and family and NOT drinking? how do you do it, and it's like the billionth holiday you can't drink at....

Yes- I know I can't drink, and that I haven't been able to drink much since like 2016- but thank you for reminding me of all the drinking everyone will be doing around me in the next few weeks.

independentgeorge · December 2019

@smallbutmighty77 I don’t know if you’re a beer fan but I’ve loved some of the NA beers I’ve tried. I also buy fevertree flavored tonic water and have that with ice and a lime wedge when I want to feel like it’s a special night.

Kathryn0903 · December 2019

It bothers me when people act like I can't do anything because I'm pregnant. When we went to my MIL's for Thanksgiving, she put the feet out on the couch for me to sit there. It was set up like that when we got there because of me. At least ask me first before assuming I need my feet up because I'm pregnant. Things like this are why we won't tell people about the placenta previa and my restrictions or I'll get even more of this.

mandarenee898 · December 2019

@Kathryn0903 I feel the same way. I try to remember it comes from a place of caring but it’s hard when being treated like you’re incapable of doing anything or when people are hovering or asking every detail about how you are feeling!!! My MIL tried to help me put my coat on after church like I was 4 years old!!

The things people say when you’re pregnant

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