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May 2020 Moms
doctorcrime
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Mental Health & Pregnancy
doctorcrime
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Please forgive me if there is already a thread about this. I didn't see one but definitely delete if I am overlapping another one!
I created one like this in the December 2019 mom group when I was in there (had a mmc earlier this year).
Anyway, I thought it would be great to discuss with other moms who are dealing with issues of depression before, during and/or after pregnancy and how you've coped with it/what strategies you have/medications you have taken/advice you've got.
I've been really struggling lately. I think there are a lot of factors at play that are impacting it and I am sure the body changes and pregnancy hormones aren't helping. I used to take medication for depression that helped quite a bit but stopped taking it last December when we started ttc. I miss having that crutch and know it will be a while before I could go back on that specific med (at least until I am done breastfeeding and even then if we want to have another baby somewhat soon it might not be worth getting back on it just to get off of it). I'm mostly struggling and would love to talk to other moms who have been there. I'm about to be a ftm and worried about postpartum depression as well. Sigh.
I created one like this in the December 2019 mom group when I was in there (had a mmc earlier this year).
Anyway, I thought it would be great to discuss with other moms who are dealing with issues of depression before, during and/or after pregnancy and how you've coped with it/what strategies you have/medications you have taken/advice you've got.
I've been really struggling lately. I think there are a lot of factors at play that are impacting it and I am sure the body changes and pregnancy hormones aren't helping. I used to take medication for depression that helped quite a bit but stopped taking it last December when we started ttc. I miss having that crutch and know it will be a while before I could go back on that specific med (at least until I am done breastfeeding and even then if we want to have another baby somewhat soon it might not be worth getting back on it just to get off of it). I'm mostly struggling and would love to talk to other moms who have been there. I'm about to be a ftm and worried about postpartum depression as well. Sigh.
Re: Mental Health & Pregnancy
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
As for body image, this is something I have really struggled with each pregnancy. I try to get in a 20 minute walk every evening, keep up a high water intake and even though it’s a splurge I buy clothes that make me feel good about the body I have now. Weight comes and goes with each kid, it’s important not to stress it too much while pregnant and just enjoy the next few months.
body image was definitely an issue for me while pregnant last time and likely will be this time. There is so much anxiety not being in control of your body and even more so, not knowing how baby is doing at any given time. Like @rox7777 mentioned going for walks definitely helps control the stress and made me feel more active.
Postpartum, the anxiety was what was a killer for me. I struggled with it thinking it was normal for a long time. I’ll Definitely try to talk to Dr. ahead of time this time and be prepared. Do you have a good support system with family/friends?
I struggle with anxiety. Both my doctor and I concluded that it is best for me to stay on my medication during this pregnancy. I'm currently taking a low dosage of Zoloft. It took me a very long time to 1) To realize what I was struggling with was anxiety and 2) to get it under control. My life has been a complete turn around in the best way since my diagnosis and finding the right medication for me. I didn't realize how bad I had it until I started feeling normal again. Now, since being pregnant I do have flare ups of anxiety, but I believe that is largely due to the increase in hormones. Overall I feel great. I am grateful that medication is an option for me right now. I also make it a point to spend as much time outside as possible- the fresh air and exercise really helps me.
Best wishes to all of you who struggle with mental health. It can be very scary and crippling.
TTC since 2017
3/18-9/18- IUI's
11/18- IVF #1
1/19- IVF #2
8/19- DE Cycle #1- 5 PGS tested normal
9/19- FET #1- SUCCESS! May 2020
10/21- FET #2- SUCCESS! July 2022
TTC since 2017
3/18-9/18- IUI's
11/18- IVF #1
1/19- IVF #2
8/19- DE Cycle #1- 5 PGS tested normal
9/19- FET #1- SUCCESS! May 2020
10/21- FET #2- SUCCESS! July 2022
Edit- tag.
I am more worried this time around, I think because I had HG and was high risk for DS I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and something to happen where I am back on bedrest and terrified everyday. I also am really worried about not loving this baby as much as I love DS and if having another baby is fair to DS (He is soo excited to be a big brother though).
I had to do fertility treatments to get pregnant and it was such a long journey the first time that when I finally got pregnant I couldn’t let myself be excited because I didn’t believe we were actually ever going to have a baby. The anxiety got a bit better with each milestone but then came back in full as I got close to my due date. I never took anything or saw a therapist. Anxiety is an everyday reality for me since I was a teenager so over the years I’ve learned how to deal with it and it wasn’t at all surprising that I was experiencing it during my pregnancy.
The big problem was when I was post partum and it was really magnified by unhealthy dynamics with my inlaws. My husbands mother is very narcissistic and enmeshed, so the status quo in their family is to cater to her above all others. Adjusting to a new baby is hard, plus I was having huge problems with breastfeeding and was in a lot of pain. I had been in the hospital 4 days and baby was jaundiced. Meanwhile my mil has hardcore baby rabies and wants to come over and hold the baby several times per week. She had been hounding us about when she would get to have the baby left alone with her from the time we told her I was pregnant. She never helped with anything, couldn’t pick up a broom or load the dishwasher. Only offered to pick up grocery items or drive us somewhere if it meant she got her reward of me handing over my baby (that was constantly starving, because breastfeeding problems). Whenever we were with his family it was expected we would hand over the baby to be passed around like a football. It was really objectifying. They actually referred to my daughter as the entertainment. As in we thank them for bringing dinner and they say “and thanks for providing the entertainment!”.
Anyway, the real issue was my husband not having healthy boundaries and priorities, playing “in the middle” by trying to make his mother happy. Our marriage was pretty rough that year and we ended up in marriage counseling. Changes were made and boundaries were set. Unfortunately my relationship with mil is destroyed and will never be good.
Anyway, cut to when our second child was born. We now live in a different city and I declared that we would be having NO visitors for the first 1-2 months after the baby was born. Our priorities as a family are ourselves and what we and our two kids need, not what other people want. You guys, IT WAS AMAZING! I also had a midwife so postpartum support was way better and I used laughing gas during my labor instead of an epidural and I felt so good and calm and supported and safe and most importantly in control! Your environment can make such a huge difference and it goes without saying I’ll be making the same choices for baby 3!
What are you doing to benefit your psychological well-being?
For me, I’m pleasantly surprised at how normal I feel. My OB had told me that depression can get worse during pregnancy, so I kind of expected that, but I’ve been really good. I’m starting to almost get suspicious of myself and wondering if I’m just not picking up on signs of trouble. I’m usually pretty self aware, I’ve developed an ability to identify my early symptoms of a downward trajectory but so far I haven’t noticed any of the usual signs. I guess I’ll take the good as much as I can and hope it keeps up.
I am starting to feel more frazzled and anxious though with all the stuff going on. Just trying to take deep breaths and remind myself everything is gonna work out and be fine.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
@lisush I thought about it long and hard for almost 2 years. Pretty much from the minute I started taking the Wellbutrin, I was also having the “what do I do when I get pregnant?” Conversation with my psychiatrist. He was all gung-ho for me to switch to Zoloft starting 2 weeks before due date so that I could breast feed. I considered it long and hard and decided that I know myself best and I’ve taken Zoloft before and it did NOTHING for me, so I felt that would rather stick to the medication that is working for me and do formula. As far as I’m concerned, a FF baby having a fully functioning non-depressed mother is better off than a BF baby who’s mom can’t even get out of bed because she’s a depressed mess. I don’t want to be a depressed mess for my baby. He deserves better.
@louessbee unfortunately you may have to "shop around" for the right therapist, but that doesn't mean they necessarily need to specialize in the issues you're dealing with either. I would ask for referrals and meet with a few until you find a good fit. I hate that process but that's really the only way. Keep advocating and get your needs met!
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020