PGAL check-in week of 11/4

doraleigh35 · November 2019

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss (or losses).

1. Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY- When do you start putting up Christmas (or Holiday) decor?

doraleigh35 · November 2019

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss (or losses).

1. Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 16+6, 4/14, 6th pregnancy -DD is 3

2. Previous loss(es)? 3 MCs, DS was delivered stillborn on 1/36/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Im feeling pretty good all around right now! Just trying to enjoy the energy boost of 2nd Tri.

4. Any appointment updates? AS on 11/21, first OB appt on 11/27

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope

6. Any milestones coming up? My due date with the baby we lost in April is coming up on 11/11

7. GTKY- When do you start putting up Christmas (or Holiday) decor? After December 1st. I can’t do it before American Thanksgiving!

mandarenee898 · November 2019

@doraleigh35 my heart breaks for you thinking how different of a holiday season you were expecting before your April loss. Thinking of you this week.

1. Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?
17+2. 4/11. STM but FTM in raising a baby.

2. Previous loss(es)?
DD was stillborn Sept 2018 at 40 weeks + 1 day.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

I went to bed Sat night crying about our daughter, so I looked at every picture we had of her as well as the maternity and funeral photos that my bestie took (she’s a photographer on the side). Our priest had offered to do an expectant mother blessing and it was scheduled for Sunday so I think a lot of emotions came up thinking about these twins and if something were to happen to one or both of them.

Physically I am getting a big belly! At my 16 week appointment I was measuring for 24 weeks — which my dr said was normal with twins. I look so much more pregnant than I am it is so weird!

4. Any appointment updates?

AS on 11/18. OB apt on 11/21.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
Not a rant or rave, but I’m very open about my daughter. If I am going into too much about her on this post please don’t hesitate to tell me. I know we are all pregnancy after loss mamas but I don’t want to be a downer for anyone during this exciting time of growing new life.

6. Any milestones coming up?
Anatomy scan on 11/18. What will the babies be?!?

7. GTKY- When do you start putting up Christmas (or Holiday) decor?
After (American) Thanksgiving but before Dec 1. This year doesn’t give me much of a transition period!

doraleigh35 · November 2019

Thank you @mandarenee898! I’m actually doing okay. I’m content with where we’re at, so that helps!

I can only speak for myself, but I feel like this thread should be a safe place where you can share whatever you want/need to. I love hearing about your sweet girl and know how unexpectedly grief can creep in. I don’t think you’re a downer at all, I still have really tough days and I know it helps to talk about it!

doraleigh35 · November 2019

I feel like instead of a weekly check-in maybe we should just make this a monthly discussion thread. Like "November PGAL Discussion". It can just be open ended rather than the same questions every week, thoughts? Would people participate again?

mandarenee898 · November 2019

@doraleigh35 I really like that idea. It feels like we could do more conversation / hey I thought of this type of posts. We could still throw out weekly/random GTKY questions.

KFrob · November 2019

I agree with @mandarenee898

smallbutmighty77 · November 2019

agree with more open discussion since I think PGAL lends itself towards emotional stuff more than just basic questions.
1. Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 14+5, TTM, DD is 2

2. Previous loss(es)? DS passed at 6 weeks old- totally unknown at time of birth

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Ok, but I read a downer book last night that was not labeled as downer, and then had dreams something happened to DD and I woke up just thinking about if something happened to her, I don't think I could raise this new child. Like it would be the Universe yelling at me that I am not a mom. Ugh rough night. Loved getting hugs from my daughter this am.
Also as we keep going I miss my son so much. I can't wait to hold this new little boy but it makes me miss the son we lost so much more. Like holding this new one will somehow take the place of Spencer. I know he won't but it's just so much to think about.

4. Any appointment updates? Supposed to have a fetal echo in the next week but my Drs office hasn't called me to schedule.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Are any of you doing showers or sprinkles or anything? We had a shower for DD, but nothing for DS1 since they were so close in age and we were moving etc. But I kinda want something for this one, like a little celebration that we are still standing and we are excited for him and ready. I think hosting something myself seems desperate so probably won't do anything.

6. Any milestones coming up? I don't think so- but I also keep forgetting I am not even 4mos. I feel massive!

7. GTKY- When do you start putting up Christmas (or Holiday) decor?
We host Thanksgiving and it is my fav holiday so we don't touch anything til after. We also celebrate Channukah and Xmas so we do a bit of both.
I think next year we are going to try and move Xmas am to our house so the kids can wake up to a tree of stuff, but that requires hosting xmas eve dinner and whoever from DHs side wants to stay over for the am, so, not there yet.

doraleigh35 · November 2019

@smallbutmighty77 I'm sorry to hear about the random downer book. It always sucks when you are exposed to something that is triggering and you're not expecting it! Do you have anyone close to you that would host/plan something? Or could you do a Sin 'N See after baby boy arrives?

The whole shower/sprinkle thing is a tough one for me right now. I really don't want anything, but then I feel bad for not celebrating this baby. My friends asked if they could just plan a brunch at a restaurant to celebrate baby without it being a "shower/sprinkle" meaning no decorations or gifts. I am fine with that if they want to end up doing it. I know our friends and family want to do something after everything we've been through the past two years. But DH and I are introverted and cautious, it's just not us. And our group of friends have had a ton of showers/weddings lately so I don't want people spending more money.

Thanks for the feedback on the monthly discussion thread, I will start one next week instead of the weekly check-in!

mandarenee898 · November 2019

The baby shower thread is fun to read, but I don’t want to post there because of the trigger warning of what we have this time.

Last pregnancy we had 2 showers, one with my mom’s side and one coed one where DH’s family and my friends combined to rent a pavilion at a splash pad in late July. (You bet this 8 month pregnant lady went in the splash pad!). Both Work and my Dad’s side of the family were going to do meet the baby parties but that didn’t happen since we lost DD. (My parents each have large families: mom is out of 7 kids and my dad is out of 11)

After we lost Stella, DH and I made the personal decision to keep a couple things that we felt were “her’s” and we donated the rest to a place that allows those in need to “shop” for what they need, the furniture (except the crib) went to a place that helps women get back on their feet and the handmade blankets (like 7 - I know a lot of crafty people) went to a pregnancy clinic that does free prenatal appointments for people that can’t afford it.

My dad’s sisters asked my mom about a shower this time, and I said “sure, but after the babies are here”. I don’t want any showers while pregnant. I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy them at all.

And..... after that rambling story I just wrote here’s what I actually came to tell my PGAL ladies: I felt one of the babies for the first time! It was the one that is bunked on the bottom and I called my husband so excited! Makes us think of when I first felt DD. Now hopefully I’ll feel the other one in the next week or so!!

Want a personalized experience?

PGAL check-in week of 11/4

Re: PGAL check-in week of 11/4

Choose Another Board

Search Boards