April 2020 Moms

Weekly Questions Week of 10/27

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Re: Weekly Questions Week of 10/27

  • I didn't want to do a one-off post, but I have no other category this falls into. It probably won't even help anyone else. 

    I'm looking for car recommendations that aren't minivans. We're going to have two rear facing car seats, and MH is 6'4" so he pushes the driver's seat all the way back. We currently have a Subaru Crosstrek, and it would fit two car seats just fine if I were driving, but it's our only car so we have to share.

    Anyone here tall or have a tall partner and two rear facing kiddos? The car forums all say minivan. I do NOT want a minivan. Or anything giant. I'm not a good enough driver for a giant car 😂. 

    Thanks in advance!
  • @babybison I recently drove my mom’s Chevy Traverse for a few days and I loved it. DH is 6’1” and had driven it a few times with DS rear-facing right behind him. It is a 3-row, so it’s pretty big, but not as big as some of the others I’ve seen. We’re also looking for another car. I have a CR-V and I think DH would be fine in it with 2 rear-facing kids, but he drives a little car. A second car seat is going to get tight for him. We’re definitely looking at 3-row SUVs, probably either the Pilot, the Traverse, or the Subaru Ascent. We mostly want it so we can put ourselves, our kids, and our dogs in a single vehicle if we ever need to run from a hurricane.

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    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
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  • MH is 6’3” and just bought the Nissan Armada. Fits him very nicely and we currently have two convertibles car seats in the second row (one is rear and one is forward facing, the rear facing is
    behind his seat) and will be able to fit one more
    as well. 


    Diagnosed PCOS 2013
    7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 
    Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
    Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020

  • This is this is fascinating! My hubby is 6’7”, so this will definitely be a conversation in our future. With only one kiddo on the way, I think our current cars will work fine, but I hadn’t thought about how two might change that! Definitely following along to see your responses!
  • We are pregnant with our third as well and looking for anything other than a mini van. I am also admittedly to scared/not a good enough driver to get something huge. We’ve been looking at SUVs with third row seating. Our main concern is being able to fit all of the car seats as well as the stroller. 
  • Has anyone else felt baby move? I just had my first tonight... I thought I had gas but it didn’t hurt like gas pains, it just felt like a bubble. So weird, but so cool! FTM by the way... first experience! ❤️❤️
  • @ejoseph16 I keep thinking I feel baby move, but I always tell myself it was probably just gas. Didn’t feel DS until late due to anterior placenta, so I’m not 100% on what early baby movements feel like. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • jenabaryjenabary member
    edited October 2019
    @ejoseph16 I’ve been feeling little flutters for a few weeks (my aunt describes it as butterfly wings), but I haven’t felt any stronger movements like rolls or kicks. Baby was very active in my last ultrasound, so I know he/she is moving around much more than I feel!
  • KFrobKFrob member
    edited October 2019
    My DH is 6'6" and we will have three kids full time in car seats when this LO comes, two will be rear facing and we have SD who's in a booster every other weekend.  Our only option is minivan with buck seats in the second row, which we currently have.  I get the resistance to the mini van but it is life changing!  The ease of being able to get everyone in on one side, not have a big door swinging open, having it lower to ground, being able to climb in to help the kids, the stow and go, and DH has plenty of room.  It's his everyday car and he loves it.  I drive a Nissan Rouge right now and really wanted to get an SUV vs another minivan but logically, unless we can find an SUV with the captains seats in the second row in our price range it just doesn't make sense.  There would be no way for me to get into the way back to pull the car seat strap to tighten DD2. Long story short, I'm a converted minivan hater.

    edit clarification 
  • I might be the weirdo here but I can't wait to have a minivan! This is our first baby and our cars are fairly new but as soon as we can..minivan it is!
  • @ejoseph16 I'm a first time mom so I'm not sure if it was movement or not, but this morning as I was lying in bed unable to sleep, I felt this popping bubble feeling in my lower belly for about 1 minute before it disappeared. I have IBS so I think I'm pretty familiar with what gas feels like, but this seemed different. Maybe me getting overly excited because I finally crossed over into 2nd trimester, but it was exciting to think about. :D 
  • @ejoseph16 I question whether I'm feeling baby yet. Last pregnancy, it took me a few weeks to be sure that what I was feeling was baby.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • When do others plan on preregistering with the hospital? I forget when I did it last time, but I know it made things easier for check in when I had to go in.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Kathryn0903 Last time my doctor told me to do it. I can’t remember when exactly, but some time after 20 weeks. I’ll probably wait until she tells me again. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • Is anyone taking any classes? Have any STM+ taken any, and what would you recommend?
  • @literatureandink we did a childbirth class and an infant care class through our hospital. I really liked the childbirth class, but felt the infant care class was all stuff I knew already. I would see if your hospital offers classes.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @literatureandink We took 3 classes last time. The birthing class was okay, but it didn’t teach a lot since it was just one day. They had a longer one, but it didn’t work with my schedule. The infant CPR class was great. The breastfeeding class was just a waste of my time. The lady basically said that no one ever has issues and if you aren’t getting much milk you aren’t trying hard enough. It just made me feel worse when I had no supply. Like if I really loved my kid, I could make it work, but it never did. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • jenabaryjenabary member
    edited November 2019
    @Kathryn0903 I think I have to pre-register as part of the hospital tour. Planning to do this by the end of January or early February I think. 

    @literatureandink I might take a labor/delivery class the hospital offers, but I am also exploring some online options like Know Your Options (produced by The Birth Hour) or the Mama Natural course. These online courses are both more of an investment than what the hospital offers, and I’m not sure yet if the content is what I’m after. Personally, I feel like I understand the process and potential interventions from reading and listening to birth stories, so I think I will probably choose a course that will give me coping techniques for labor.
  • @jenabary I did the Mama Natural course with my first and found it very helpful. My husband also really learned a lot from it. She did interviews with different couples and had the guys perspective too. I also love that she partners with a certified midwife. 
  • Thanks @kfs2016! It’s nice to hear it was helpful from someone who has taken the course!
  • @literatureandink The only class I took was the breastfeeding class when I was pregnant with DD2.  I agree with @mercury94, it was a waste of time.  Plus being a STM in the class I was super jaded and felt like the class wasn't realistic about how hard breastfeeding is.  
  • I know from my cousin and best friend who just had babies just how hard and time consuming breastfeeding is. I feel like if I took one of those classes and it was all rainbows and sunshine, I would be pissssssed.

    I’m going to look into the Mama Natural course and then do infant CPR. Thanks for the suggestion @jenabary
  • coaster102516coaster102516 member
    edited November 2019
    @emsned why no minivan? I was so anti-minivan but it is the best car EVER. The automatic doors are the best and the truck space plus space for all passengers is so good. The main reasons I didn’t go with a SUV when we were looking was because getting a child in the backseat would be a PITA and the trunk space, unless you get a suburban, can’t even fit a single umbrella. I drove the suburban and it was very nice but too big. Wouldn’t fit in the garage and parking anywhere would be hard for me. Also so expensive. 

    @ejoseph16 yup, third pregnancy so I’ve been feeling him for a few weeks now. Getting stronger and feel him daily. Can’t wait for the first big kick and to feel on the outside. 

    Diagnosed PCOS 2013
    7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 
    Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
    Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020

  • @literatureandink I took a natural birth class from my prenatal yoga teacher, and even though I didn't end up using the positions and techniques she covered it still felt good to have practiced them.

    I actually had a good breastfeeding class with the LC at the hospital. She didn't make it sound easy at all, but went over all the different things that can help if you're struggling.

    That said, I would have been totally fine without those classes. It just helped me feel like I was doing something to get prepared.
  • @coaster102516 DH wanted to look at suburbans this go around and for all the reasons you listed I vetoed it 
  • @literatureandink breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I took a
    breastfeeding class prior to my first being born and what a waste. Definitely not helpful for me since there isn’t yet a baby and you don’t know what or if there will be any issues. It was the lactation nurse I saw after having my son that was a godsend and helped me salvage our breastfeeding relationship/journey. I didn’t have good luck with the lactation nurses in the hospital so I went private but hospitals have them too. 

    Diagnosed PCOS 2013
    7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 
    Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
    Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020

  • @coaster102516 I’m so glad you had a great lactation consultant. I tried hard to find one, but ours were all awful. 

    I hope no one gets discouraged by the lactation consultants in the hospital. The one at our hospital made me cry when she basically told me I was a bad mom for even considering using a breast pump in the first four months (I had to go back to work after 10 weeks). I asked her to look at the pump to help me decide if the cups were the right size because the consultant that did my useless class said they could do that. The one we saw was rude and said she didn’t have time for that and we shouldn’t be pumping that early anyway. 

    My posts on this thread are kind of turning into a rant, but breastfeeding was not a good experience for me. My son got extremely dehydrated before we even left the hospital because I wasn’t producing anything and the hospital policy is to not suggest formula unless the mom says she plans to exclusively bottle feed. They just told me to keep trying every 15 minutes. Didn’t mention he looked dehydrated until we asked about some symptoms we were noticing including a lack of wet diapers. DH and I both cried when he took his first bottle after he’d been refusing the breast all day. We were just so happy he was eating. We plan to tell the hospital that we are bottle feeding this baby even though I want to try to breastfeed hoping I might have more luck this go around. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • @literatureandink I took Having Your Baby Your Way class last time that I found really useful. It was three sessions, and I thought gave us a good introduction to the different kinds of things we might expect during delivery. My hospital is a good mix between natural childbirth and medical intervention, so I thought having an intro to the range of possibilities was good. This time we're going to do the sibling class at the hospital to help our son feel included in the process.
  • @coaster102516 My worries about minivans are mainly size and stereotypes. I am not confident in my driving/parking abilities in a big car, and I live in a place where you always have to parallel park in order to do anything. I’ve also seen and heard that minivans break down easily. It seems like they age 5x faster than other cars and the sliding doors always seem to become more of a problem than a solution after a few years. 
  • If a urine culture came back contaminated twice, would you go to a different lab next time? Did a repeat culture and it came back contaminated again. This has never happened before, so I'm questioning the lab now.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Kathryn0903 I'd question the lab too. Should be an easy thing not to screw up.

    Update on the cars: we checked out the Honda pilot and Subaru ascent which were too big for me. The Subaru outback fit 6'4" DH and a car seat behind, but it only has two rows so we wouldn't be able to fit more adults.

    I think we're going to go with the Mazda cx-9. It has three rows and all the safety features we're looking for. Expensive, but still cheaper than the luxury brands. Also felt nice and small enough for me.
  • @literatureandink last pregnancy (and first pregnancy) DH and I took an overview class. It covered going into labor, when they suggest you come in, stages of labor, drug options they have there, what options there are if there are complications and if a c-section was needed etc. I liked that it was at the hospital we were going to deliver at as we knew what to expect there. It was also helpful for DH and I as we talked about both of our expectations after the class and we were on the same page. I didn’t do a birth plan at all. I relied on our nurses’ guidance and suggestions and went in with the mindset that I wasn’t going to be all “give me the drugs” but I also wasn’t opposed to them either if needed. 
  • @mandarenee898 that sounds like a super useful class! Your comment about birth plan also leads me to this question:

    How does everyone feel about birth plans? FTMs are you planning on having one and what will be on it? STM+ did you have one? What was on it? Did it get adhered to? What useful to have on it and what is useless?
  • @literatureandink I didn’t really have a birth plan. I had a conversation with my OB about wanting the epidural and needing an antibiotic per my cardiologist. Otherwise, I just kind of followed direction as well as I could. I’m a big believer in taking advice from a medical professional. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • @literatureandink I did the same as @mercury94.  It’s actually a good idea to know ahead of time how you feel about induction, epidurals, and whether you want your obgyn to sweep your membranes as you get closer to your due date. My dr talked me into induction on my due date when it wasn’t necessary, and I kind of regret that. I wish I had been more informed about all that came with induction before making that decision. But once I was in labor I pretty much just followed directions and everything worked out. 
  • @emsned I’m surprised your doctor would want to induce on your due date. Mine wouldn’t set induction until the week after my due date. I had it scheduled, but ended up going early because of low fluid levels. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • @literatureandink FTM here! I am planning to have a birth plan. I just finished Birth Without Fear by January Harshe (would recommend) and I liked what she had to say about this subject, which is to have a birth philosophy. She provides examples of what preferences might be on a birth plan for a hospital, birth center, cesarean, or home birth, and I will probably create mine from her suggestions. I think it is important to acknowledge that plans often change - a philosophy can guide you when you need to adjust your decision making. If you don’t want to have a written plan, I think that is okay too, as long as you feel empowered to ask questions and give consent for any ‘interventions’ or pain management suggested during labor. If I’ve learned anything from listening to birth stories (I started listening to The Birth Hour podcast on my way to work one or two days a week), it’s that babies are born in all different ways! At the end of the day, we want healthy moms and healthy babies!

    On another note, I decided to start the Mama Natural course, and while I like it so far (I’m only on lesson two, but it definitely has the coping techniques I was after), I can see how it might not be the best course for everyone because it positions natural birth as the goal (which makes sense from the source!). If you want to understand your options in birth and not feel like you have to commit to natural, then a course like @aresee or @mandarenee898 suggested might be a better place to start.
  • @jenabary I love the birth hour! I’ve learned so much just by listening to other people’s stories.
  • @literatureandink I did have a birth plan. The most important thing for me was that I wanted to try an unmedicated birth, and I really needed the freedom to move around, so I wanted external monitoring and IVs only when necessary.

    I did go into it understanding that birth plans can change dramatically depending on what happens during birth, and I was fully prepared to do what the nurses and midwife felt was needed. But I appreciated having some say in what I wanted, and doing the research to make the plan was empowering.
  • jenabaryjenabary member
    edited November 2019
    @babyrummom Right?! I feel the same. I wasn’t sure if birth stories would stress me out or not, but I find them to be so informative! 
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