I went to Buy Buy Baby this weekend. I didn't set out to go there, I just ended up there. I am a FTM. It was overwhelming. Where the eff do I even start? First of all, I didn't know what most of it even was. And secondly, there was so much of it. I feel like I can't possibly need THAT much crap. Is there a list or resource that shows the essential items needed and what the heck they do/how to use them?
Also, I am 9 weeks, and I feel like I should be doing *something* to start preparing for this whole thing? We haven't really told anyone yet, so I've mostly been waiting for that. But I feel like I should probably be doing something.
This is going to be OK, right? Like... I will figure it out? Right?
@caponey I enjoyed using amazons registry and picking things that way they give you a list of items you "should" want some of. I was pretty minimalistic with what I put on it. Of course I still received things that I didn't need but you don't need all the things. I researched and looked for items that could be used for multiple things, like a swing that detached and was also a bouncer. I was also adamant with family members that I would not use x,y and z so don't even bother purchasing them. I enjoyed making my registry, but I also worked as a nanny and knew different products I really wanted and put those on there.
I found Lucie’s List to be very helpful with my first as far as knowing what was what and then deciding what I wanted personally. The truth is, newborns need diapers, wipes, clothes, a swaddle, some burp cloths, a car seat and a safe place to sleep. 🙃
@caponey another site you might find helpful is Baby Bargains. It has great information on which products to buy if you can't decide between several of them. The site also has a registry cheat sheet, a "what not to buy" list and also a companion book with more details (which I bought for my first pregnancy).
@caponey glad I could help! It’s got a list for everything. And as I love lists but am terrible at making them, it makes me happy. ♥️ Once you’ve figured out some things you want to know more about come back and ask questions. Some of us have probably used them and can give you some real life experience.
Baby bargains was helpful. The most helpful was asking second time moms. I registered around 6ish months last time and I wish I would have done it sooner just because I was so tired. I literally left, went home for a nap, and came back.
What you you should do now- make a list of the big ticket items. Car seat, stroller, rocking chair, crib. Read some reviews, play with them at the store, make preliminary decisions. Then set alerts on amazon through camelcamelcamel.com. It gives a chart of the lowest prices throughout the year, so you can set a low price and it will email you when the item is at that price (only catch is things with multiple colors, you have to set an alert for each color). This is mostly because Black Friday is coming and you should watch the sales. My favorite purchase for DD on Black Friday was a lazy boy rocking chair.
You can can add the little things later. I’m sure all the STMs are happy to weigh in. You need clothes, a bed, and a way to feed them. Also somewhere to put them down, like a swing. Get an envelope and put it somewhere you’ll remember, and save all the receipts. That way you can return that $300 swing your kid hates.
A lot of whats on the Buy Buy Baby list is for the first two years. Your newborn doesn’t need bath toys. Your newborn doesn’t need child locks for the cabinets. But they list all that to sell it to you. I would focus on the first six months and you can ask for the next stuff for Christmas.
Omg you ladies are amazing! I will definitely be checking out Baby Bargains and camelcamelcamel, registering early so I can relax later, and sticking to the newborn necessities. I'm sure I will have many more questions as I go. Thank you so much for your help!!
@caponey, I remember first time around it was VERY overwhelming, but completely agree with PPs, Lucies List all the way! Also agree with getting the basics for the newborn, they don’t need much but there are certain key items you can’t skip and should do your research/splurge (I.e car seat, bassinet/sleeping place, rocking chair, swing/bouncer). I would start with the car seat, which is a no brained and required by law to take the baby home from the hospital. In MHO I wouldn’t register for clothes or blankets, you will get so many clothes and blankets that you know what do with. Lastly, this is a process, take your time, there is plenty to do, but also many months to go. Get through your first trimester/next few weeks and once you have regained your energy in the second trimester begin the registering process. Good luck!
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
You can honestly do things very minimalistic and baby will be fine. We have never had a swing or mamaroo. We didn’t buy a high chair until babe was a lot older.
Obviously things like car seat, Clothes, diapers/wipes, bottles if your FF. But as for as everything else, it really just depends on your parenting style, where you live, etc. I never used a stroller. I wore my kids or H and I each carried one into the store and they rode in carts.
All that to say, please don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. you’ve got this.
@TattoosandLace I'm with you! I hated using a stroller and went out of my way to avoid it (even though we have two). Depending on where you live and what you like to do, strollers are totally overrated. We didn't even being one to Disneyland for our 3yo. FTM's, unless you're buying a travel system, you don't need a stroller right away. And most infant seats make adapters, so don't feel like you have to buy the travel system.
I totally agree! Even when I went for walks on maternity leave, I usually wore DD. So the only things I found necessary in the beginning were wraps/carriers, a bassinet, car seat, clothes, diapers, and wipes.
Otherwise, they just lay there in the beginning 😂 my DD hated the swing so that was a total waste of space. She enjoyed the rock n play though (I know there’s a lot of hoopla about them now and babies sleeping in them).
Every baby has different preferences, too, so don’t stock up or put all your eggs in one basket because your kid might hate it!
@mokay19 Both my kids hated our swing. It was expensive and took up so much space. Of course, I asked for it back from my brother because hope springs eternal. But I'll be surprised if either of these babies will tolerate it.
My twins loved the rock n play. I used it appropriately, they were always strapped in, watched over. They did sleep in it during the day. Did you use a rock n play with any previous pregnancies? Are you considering using it again if you've still got one?
@TattoosandLace Thank you for saying no to strollers. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed looking at them the other day and trying to figure out if/when I would/could every even use one. Our dog walking spots are trails in the national forest. A lot of roads aren't paved. If I am shopping I'd have a cart. I'm seriously struggling to wrap my head around what the point of a stroller is. It's big and bulky and awkward and isn't it easier to either carry the infant car-seat into a restaurant or store or use a baby-carrier of some sort? Mom's that use their strollers lots, I would love to hear from you when/what types of situations you use them for. I can definitely see where it would be helpful if you have an infant and a toddler who might not walk everywhere also, but if you have one baby and no other children, what are the perks of having a stroller? I'm sure there are things I'm not thinking of since I'll be a FTM. I just need some convincing before making that investment.
@pirateduck Jogging is a big one for us. I use the jogging stroller pretty frequently. Other than that- we use our other stroller relatively sparingly but we have a really nice downtown mall (outside walking mall) where I live and when we go there we usually take the stroller. We have a pretty small one and it folds up nicely. We also use it in airports now that he is a little bigger. We have several stores walking distance from my house - like Trader Joes- I put him in the stroller if I am walking there. My son is relatively heavy now and also prefers the stroller to being worn- I wore him a lot more when he was smaller. I plan on using the stroller for him and wearing the baby for the things I mentioned above (minus running...).
ETA Sometimes I let him walk with me to the nearby stores but I prefer not to because 1. traffic and 2. It takes so long because he is distracted by every blade of grass. So unless we have a lot of time on our hands it's just easier to keep him confined.
Thank you @rachelg777 I suppose it's always something we can start without and buy later if we really feel the need for one. Then we might have more specific situations in mind that might help us select the best suited stroller for our needs.
@pirateduck I love both baby wearing and stroller. In the newborn days, I like the stroller because I can click the infant seat into it without taking them out of the car seat if they're sleeping. Just remove, click, and continue on my way. Bonus points for having a spot to hang the diaper bag and/or my bag so I don't have to carry it on my shoulder. Baby carrying with a bulky diaper bag over your shoulder is no fun. I used the stroller a lot for solo trips to the doctor (of which there were many in the early days) and walks on paved surfaces. Although we have a walking trail near us that is not paved, and for that I have a jogger with heavier duty wheels and suspension. I also loved the stroller once he got too big for me to comfortably carry for long periods of time (he was 25 lbs at 12 months) but not old enough to walk for any significant distances. For quick trips into stores, restaurants, etc. I did prefer to just carry the infant seat and/or wear him. But for being out and about with bags and other items, I'm 100% team stroller.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@stella_700 I plan on using it again, but like you said not for sleep. It was an easy piece to fold up out of the way when I wanted but also nice to set her down and unload the dishwasher
I got a graco infant seat/double stroller combo when I had the twins. I used it occasionally, more with the infant seats on the stroller than the stroller part itself. Now that they are older I almost always use separate cheap small umbrella strollers. I mostly used the double stroller at family events, like my nephew's soccer games, niece's basketball games, those sort of things.
Carrying a car seat was always very awkward for me. It was really heavy and dug into my arm. I don’t know if it was the type of car seat I had or I just don’t have much upper arm strength, lol. I did drag the car seat to the shopping cart and baby wear, but the stroller was just easier for me. Especially when baby is sleeping and you just have to switch the car seat over to the stroller like @shamrocandroll said. Not so much for ftms, but if you have older kids, you are more likely to be going more places (soccer games, school events, the zoo...) where a stroller and it’s storage space are super useful. It’s hard to say what you will personally use until baby comes and you find out first hand!
We use the stroller for the airport, for Disney ((sorry @ruby696)), for trips to places like the zoo or the aquarium where contained is nice. Sometimes for shopping at the open air mall. I babywear a lot with my kids but my youngest didn’t really fall asleep being worn so the stroller was useful when we were out and I needed a nap for him. We also go to the National Parks a lot and take the Bob jogging stroller with us there to do trails and walks... keeps the kids from going over the cliff and lets them rest some where the parents aren’t carrying them too.
@mdfarmchick I'll try to get over it. 😆 I will admit strollers are nice when you want to contain them. My stroller rage is mostly directed at people with 6 year olds in them. 🙄
@ruby696 We were hiking at a nearby mountain a couple of weeks ago, and we passed a family at the summit with a ~4 year old and a ~6 year old who were both being carried (the 4 yo was in a ring sling with the mom and the 6 yo was in a hiking carrier with the dad). We had our hiking carrier with us (since DS is not quite 3) and we used it sporadically on the way up, but he did the way down all on his own. That same family passed us on their way down and I heard the parents saying to their kids "Do you guys see that little boy there who is walking down all by himself!? He's awesome!" Granted, that hike took us probably 3x longer than it should have, but still! We were super proud of him! Plus, I enjoyed the excuse to slow way down because one of my pregnancy symptoms is "holycrapcan'tbreathe".
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
I am team stroller and baby carrier and infant carseat. As a FTM I had all of them and really got to figure out what I liked. I think the time of year you have your baby is a factor too. I have the Chicco Keyfit for an infant seat. For strollers, I have the BOB jogging stroller, the Graco Breaze lightweight stroller, Chicco Keyfit Caddy Frame Stroller. Now that DD is almost 3 I mostly have her walking on her own, and occasionally use the babycarrier or stroller for longer/bigger trips. For this one I plan on keeping all the things I have and using the strollers for my toddler and baby wear for the new baby since it will be summer.
So DD was born at the end of November in Wisconsin. It is cold. I learned quickly that I preferred to keep her in the car seat, but sometimes it was too much to carry for longer periods of time. I didn't have the Chicco lightweight stroller that snaps with the car seat so I ended up buying the frame stroller shortly after she was born for longer shopping trips. I LOVED the frame stroller, the basket is so large, the stroller folds super easily and is so compact and super light. All more so than the lightweight stroller.
We couldn't use the BOB until she was 6 months old, I loved this for walks around my neighborhood (suburbs, no sidewalks), when we would go to outdoor events in the summer (i.e. downtown fireworks, farmers market, etc). I really love the fact that the sun visor is HUGE!
I loved babywearing when I would go shopping to Target or the grocery store in the spring, summer, and fall. That way I didn't have the carseat taking up the whole cart, since it is unsafe on the seat part. Also when we would go to events where I knew I wanted her to nap. I always could get an on the go nap in the babycarrier. Also used it around the house a ton.
The Graco lightweight stroller we mainly used at the airport for a trip for a wedding when she was 5-6 months old. It was in April/May, and the frame wasn't going to do it for outings and stuff. I did a combo of stroller/babywearing on this trip since I was in the wedding and had a lot of places to go. This stroller just lives at my parents house since they watch DD 2x per week and go to the parks a lot.
Remember, we will probably have a product spotlight post on this later and we can discuss everything in more detail.
@ruby696 yeah. If I went to Disney without the 20 month old, I wouldn’t take the stroller for the four year old. He can walk. But I also don’t do Disney where it’s “we will get there at rope drop and stay until fireworks all day and you will enjoy it.” 😂 My SIL drags her kids around and keeps them up so late at Disney that I know why her 7 year old still ended up in the stroller sometimes. 🤦🏻♀️
@mdfarmchick We were done between 4:00 and 5:00 both days. I was so proud of my kids for making it that long. We didn't see the night stuff, but oh well. We'd go back to the hotel, swim, and get dinner. Bedtime was still 7:30. 😁
I know I said that Babies don't need strollers and I have pretty heavily worn all my babes... but since this is baby number four and s/he will be coming right when t-ball season starts, I'm thinking I might actually buy a stroller to be able to click his/her carseat into in order to have more space to carry things in the basket below. It's either that, or I'm buying one of those folding wagons to carry all DD's sports sht.
@pirateduck I swore I didn't want a stroller and would never use one. Then I found the infant seat I wanted for cheaper than it was alone when I got it with a travel system. So I had a travel system. We didn't use it much her first year, I wrote her mostly and we lived further outside town so didn't walk anywhere. We live in town now and we use it all the time. We walk to the sitters house, the pizza shop, the playground. Sometimes we just walk. I'm glad we have it and even though I didn't want it so badly, I'm thinking what am I going to do when I have two? Do I get another one or do I get a double one? DD will only be 2 when baby comes.
@jhysmath I used the Joovy caboose with my two year old and infant the last time... it worked well because it has a place for him to stand or sit and you can get car seat adapters for it.
I love my stroller. It’s a lifesaver for a lot of situations. It makes going to the doctor possible, going out during germ season possible, going out when my kids have germs possible, walking possible, etc. I currently have a contours options elite double and I’m very satisfied with my purchase. Bonus points that I was able to buy an adapter for my infant car seat from another brand.
The happy baby carrier I ordered came in today. I love it already. So soft and comfortable. My 16mo loves it already. I got it thinking about how I would travel with three. I can carry one of the two little ones and keep my big toddler and the other one in the stroller. Or I can put infant carseat in the shopping cart, toddler up front, and wear my 16mo.
So about two months ago, DH, DD3, and I were in the city and stopped in at Dick’s sporting goods after an appointment DD3 (a little over 1.5yrsold) had. I talked myself out of the $50 fold up wagon and I REGRET IT EVERY STINKING SOCCER GAME.
I am definitely going to have to get one before spring soccer season. Especially when I’ll be big pregnant and not want to carry the cooler/etc.
Re. Strollers. For DD I used the car seat frame (chick keyfit stroller frame) and it was a lifesaver to move the baby in an out of the car using the infant car seat. That frame was sufficient, I never bought a travel system. I also baby wore, but not when the car was involved. After 1 year we got an umbrella stroller (Summer infant 3D Lite) since we travel a lot and internationally, it has been amazing and it still works, nothing fancy but sturdy. Sometimes I am amazed at people with their bulky $500+ travel systems. We are now moving on to the little car that you push, or she walks, and starting out with the scooter. We walk everywhere in town so it is hard to have her walk 100% of the walk if we are in a rush, because she wants to pick every stick or flower off the ground.
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Hmm... we don’t really live somewhere that we are close enough to walk anywhere. Sometimes in summer we bike into town (bar/concert/art festival) because it’s easier than parking and we can have a drink if we want and not worry about driving... maybe I just need a carrier on the back of the bike instead.
@pirateduck bike carriers are good, but your kid has to be able to control their own body before they can ride in any bike carrier (that I’ve seen) safely. So for little nuggets, that won’t work... probably not until at least 6 months, make longer depending on the ride/bumpiness
mdfarmchick
member
Re: Weekly Questions 10/6
Also, I am 9 weeks, and I feel like I should be doing *something* to start preparing for this whole thing? We haven't really told anyone yet, so I've mostly been waiting for that. But I feel like I should probably be doing something.
This is going to be OK, right? Like... I will figure it out? Right?
https://www.lucieslist.com/
https://www.babybargains.com/
What you you should do now- make a list of the big ticket items. Car seat, stroller, rocking chair, crib. Read some reviews, play with them at the store, make preliminary decisions. Then set alerts on amazon through camelcamelcamel.com. It gives a chart of the lowest prices throughout the year, so you can set a low price and it will email you when the item is at that price (only catch is things with multiple colors, you have to set an alert for each color). This is mostly because Black Friday is coming and you should watch the sales. My favorite purchase for DD on Black Friday was a lazy boy rocking chair.
You can can add the little things later. I’m sure all the STMs are happy to weigh in. You need clothes, a bed, and a way to feed them. Also somewhere to put them down, like a swing. Get an envelope and put it somewhere you’ll remember, and save all the receipts. That way you can return that $300 swing your kid hates.
A lot of whats on the Buy Buy Baby list is for the first two years. Your newborn doesn’t need bath toys. Your newborn doesn’t need child locks for the cabinets. But they list all that to sell it to you. I would focus on the first six months and you can ask for the next stuff for Christmas.
Lastly, this is a process, take your time, there is plenty to do, but also many months to go. Get through your first trimester/next few weeks and once you have regained your energy in the second trimester begin the registering process. Good luck!
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1IugsUXAnYqBtntPL2L-3xfc7IdKE_O3SAk0rK8UgmNE/edit#gid=374724590
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Otherwise, they just lay there in the beginning 😂 my DD hated the swing so that was a total waste of space. She enjoyed the rock n play though (I know there’s a lot of hoopla about them now and babies sleeping in them).
Every baby has different preferences, too, so don’t stock up or put all your eggs in one basket because your kid might hate it!
Eta: spelling
ETA Sometimes I let him walk with me to the nearby stores but I prefer not to because 1. traffic and 2. It takes so long because he is distracted by every blade of grass. So unless we have a lot of time on our hands it's just easier to keep him confined.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
- So DD was born at the end of November in Wisconsin. It is cold. I learned quickly that I preferred to keep her in the car seat, but sometimes it was too much to carry for longer periods of time. I didn't have the Chicco lightweight stroller that snaps with the car seat so I ended up buying the frame stroller shortly after she was born for longer shopping trips. I LOVED the frame stroller, the basket is so large, the stroller folds super easily and is so compact and super light. All more so than the lightweight stroller.
- We couldn't use the BOB until she was 6 months old, I loved this for walks around my neighborhood (suburbs, no sidewalks), when we would go to outdoor events in the summer (i.e. downtown fireworks, farmers market, etc). I really love the fact that the sun visor is HUGE!
- I loved babywearing when I would go shopping to Target or the grocery store in the spring, summer, and fall. That way I didn't have the carseat taking up the whole cart, since it is unsafe on the seat part. Also when we would go to events where I knew I wanted her to nap. I always could get an on the go nap in the babycarrier. Also used it around the house a ton.
- The Graco lightweight stroller we mainly used at the airport for a trip for a wedding when she was 5-6 months old. It was in April/May, and the frame wasn't going to do it for outings and stuff. I did a combo of stroller/babywearing on this trip since I was in the wedding and had a lot of places to go. This stroller just lives at my parents house since they watch DD 2x per week and go to the parks a lot.
Remember, we will probably have a product spotlight post on this later and we can discuss everything in more detail.- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019It's either that, or I'm buying one of those folding wagons to carry all DD's sports sht.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
After 1 year we got an umbrella stroller (Summer infant 3D Lite) since we travel a lot and internationally, it has been amazing and it still works, nothing fancy but sturdy.
Sometimes I am amazed at people with their bulky $500+ travel systems.
We are now moving on to the little car that you push, or she walks, and starting out with the scooter. We walk everywhere in town so it is hard to have her walk 100% of the walk if we are in a rush, because she wants to pick every stick or flower off the ground.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016