1st/2nd tri check-in week of 9/16

PoeMasque · September 2019

Happy Monday! As the list below gets longer please let me know if I’m missing anyone! Pregnancy brain is real

How far along/EDD?
How are you feeling this week?
Rants/Raves? Questions?
Any upcoming appointments?
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of?

Calling!!

@PoeMasqueEDD 2/8 (boy)

@emmasemm EDD 3/7 (girl)

@k_mama91 EDD 12/5 (boy)

@Tulips29 EDD 1/11 (girl)

@cigaline EDD 2/10 (boy)

@celticknotfire EDD 2/27

@ivfsurvivor EDD 3/3

@love112314 EDD 3/9

@sincethelastday EDD 3/9

@bluguitarhannah EDD 3/10

@caitiemae EDD 1/30 (boy)

@akak23 EDD 3/27 (boy)

@wifeinraleigh28 EDD 4/4 (boy)

@sanpelligrino EDD 4/12

@laurajon2015 EDD 3/25

@jolo1241 EDD 2/2 (girl)

emmasemm · September 2019

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!

How far along/EDD? 15+3, March 7th
How are you feeling this week? Generally good physically. Definitely experiencing some constipation (for the first time in many years!) and the nausea is back early morning and evening - which is ok as long as I eat my evening meal around 6pm. Tricky on work days - so I now take two meals to work with me! It’s now 1.5 weeks since our last scan and I am tapering off all the estrogen and all but one injection a day of progesterone - and this has my anxiety increasing. I will see by Thursday how it is and if needed call into the OB for a cervix and HB check. Though I’m trying to avoid it if I can.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Last week was an emotional one with telling a few more people every day about our pregnancy. But even more so because for those who are either really excited or comment something like “oh wow i didn’t know if you would have kids” then I just simply add “well it’s taken 4.5 years and a lot of rounds of IVF” and then the floodgates open. I’ve heard so many stories of both triumph over IF/RPL and heartbreak in the last week it is unbelievable. Most say they have not told anyone before. So not only have we now “come out” about our pregnancy but also our whole IF journey too!
My big rave has to be for my birthday weekend - we had two lovely days with breakfast in bed, shopping for maternity clothes and a nice meal out as well as my husband cooking me schnitzel - which I am craving like mad!
Any upcoming appointments? Next Thursday for a scan, bloodwork etc - unless I freak out so much I need to go end of this week...
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? There most be so many things I’m proud of... I guess recently is getting a top class masters degree whilst undergoing multiple IVF rounds! But long term was probably walking unaided after 9 years of using a wheelchair, crutches and walking sticks (after I smashed my femur falling from a horse when I was 21) - and not just walking but within 3 months hiking 8 hours along the Great Wall of China!

k_mama91 · September 2019

How far along/EDD? 28w5d Dec 5
How are you feeling this week? Also constipated. I was irregular in the first tri and took stool softeners but it wasn’t painful and uncomfortable like it is now. I may need to have my doctor call in a prescription laxative.
Rants/Raves? Questions? I’m back to napping daily when able. That second tri energy was nice while it lasted.
Any upcoming appointments? 30 week checkup on the 27th
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? I’m proud of a lot of things that I’ve done life but more recently I finished my degree while working full time, raising a child, building a home, and living in an rv for 9 months while doing so. It was tempting to take a break until things calmed down but I pushed through and got it done.

sincethelastday · September 2019

@emmasemm - I feel like I can relate to some degree with your experience telling people about your pregnancy. The stories and comments I’ve received from people has been quite surprising and really makes you realize how many people deal with IF. Sounds like a wonderful birthday! And good luck at your next scan!

@k_mama91 - hope some of that second trimester energy carries over a bit so you don’t feel so exhausted and hope you get some relief from the constipation (that’s not fun to deal with at all!)

How far along/EDD? 15w1d. My doctor bumped up my due date so I’m now due March 9th (@PoeMasque - if you could make that slight change that would be great!)
How are you feeling this week? Overall, I’ve been feeling better. The nausea is totally gone it seems, however I still have a few days here and there when I’m still dry heaving in the morning. I’m trying to slow down my morning routine a bit and eat little bits at a time while getting ready to hopefully get rid of it completely.
Rants/Raves? Questions? As briefly mentioned above, I’ve been really warmed by the responses I’ve gotten from people who have found out about our IF journey and pregnancy. I posted a Facebook announcement last week, but really made it more of an “infertility announcement” and posted a link on top ten myths of IF to hopefully dispel some of the misunderstandings and taboo of IF. People who I never knew had gone through IF opened up and others shared how appreciative they were of us sharing some info on IF. Making this type of announcement has been a dream of mine for so long that it’s kind of crazy that it’s finally happened.
Any upcoming appointments? None this week.
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? The first thing that comes to mind is just getting my bachelors degree in social work in pretty record time and landing my dream job pretty early on. Just the accomplishments I’ve achieved at work.

mbradfo2 · September 2019

@sincethelastday @emmasemm

I wish more people talked about IF -- in my office which is pretty much all female, soooo many ladies have gone through IVF or other fertility treatments to have their kids. I've been very open about talking about our six year journey (most people get shocked at that length of time!) and have gotten so much support and understanding from everyone, especially from those who shared their own stories. Since we had been married 10 years by the time I announced, a bunch of people also thought we weren't having kids or we had given up! It's been nice to educate my friends on what IVF entails as well -- most people don't know how the process works beyond the fact that the embryo is formed in a lab - and I've also become a mentor for my local Resolve group. So many people feel so alone in this process and I want to help change that. It's also why I still lurk on PAIF and IF boards even though we're not currently TTC -- I think it's important to be there for other ladies going through the same stuff.

Tulips29 · September 2019

@emmasemm @sincethelastday I'm with you on being open about IF struggles. I really wish more people would talk about it. I didn't want to open up with my first pregnancy, and it felt so lonely going through this entire process. It's been so therapeutic opening up since and telling people about our struggles and what it took to get here. Most are supportive, some don't understand and some ask a ton of questions to learn more, which I'm alway happy to share. It felt like a weight lifted off our shoulders sharing our story.

@emmasemm what an amazing accomplishment of being able to walk again after so many years in a wheelchair! That got me all teary-eyed. And I hope the time flies by until your scan next week! Sounds like you had a lovely birthday weekend as well

@k_mama91 I'm so jealous of your daily naps! Enjoy them!

Tulips29 · September 2019

How far along/EDD? 23+3...1/11/20
How are you feeling this week? Large! Today driving to work I just couldn't get comfortable. I just left really large all of a sudden and like my belly is now in the way. Same with sleeping at night. It's becoming hard to turn from side to side without feeling like I'm turning over with a giant load of bricks on top of me.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave - we had an amazing weekend away with our friends and kiddos, which was also exhausting but fun to see all the kids have a great time together. Rant - or more of a freak out I had this weekend where I wasn't really feeling the baby move much. Granted, we were out and about the entire weekend, but even when I'd sit I didn't feel anything. I'm feeling movements now, but I was so nervous for those 2 days. Also, at my last appointment I was told I have an anterior placenta and it will be longer until I feel real kicks, so all the movement I've been feeling is down low. Still no kicks on the side or higher up in the belly and I'm getting impatient to feel those!
Any upcoming appointments? OB check up this week, ultrasound next week.
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? Getting my MBA while working full time right after finishing college. Don't think I'd be able to go back to school later on, or in my 30's, or even with a family now.

akak23 · September 2019

@emmasemm thank you for sharing your greatest accomplishment story, just wow! I’m sure your story would give so much hope to others facing challenges walking.

@sincethelastday did you do IVF or IUI? I’m surprised they moved the date up with a scheduled procedure, do you mind sharing why?

@mbradfo2 that’s very brave of you! I’m so scared of judgment for some reason or people feeing sorry for me.

How far along/EDD? 12+4...3/27/20
How are you feeling this week? Better but still really out of breath from my thyroid. I found out last week I developed severe Graves Disease so I am now considered a very high risk pregnancy. I am on bedrest for the next few weeks depending on how I do. On medicine now and hoping things will start getting better.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave - had my first US since 8 weeks today and he looked perfect ♥️ HB normal, size normal and I couldn’t be happier.
Any upcoming appointments? Sitting at the ON now, then back to the endocrinologist tomorrow bc I have developed a rash that could be from my thyroid medicine.
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? This year I was given the 40 Under 40 Award but my cities business journal. I started my own biz 4 years ago and it felt amazing to be recognized for a lot of hard work.

k_mama91 · September 2019

@akak23 That’s an awesome accomplishment! Also, sorry to hear about your bedrest. Advice from my two weeks experience from earlier this year is have dh stock pile snacks by your bed and prep your lunch and dinner in the fridge so you’re not up moving too much. GL!

@Tulips29 An anterior placenta would give me SO much anxiety. It’s been about a week but I’ve had days here and there where I don’t feel much of anything and it freaks me out.

@sincethelastday Glad to hear your morning sickness has subsided!

Tulips29 · September 2019

@akak23 congrats on your accomplishment, that's something to be really proud of! I hope things get better for you as well! Hoping the bedrest time goes by quickly for you.

@k_mama91 I'm trying to hard not to be anxious and stress myself. All the twitches I feel down low always make me feel better.

Question - how are you ladies handling your pregnancy announcement at work? I work across 4 different offices across the country, so I don't see everyone on a consistent basis, except my "home" office. It's pretty visible at this point and I've been telling people I'm close with, but I feel awkward making some sort of an office-wide announcement. Yesterday I was talking to one of the executives that I see about once a week and told her how I was excited to get a prenatal massage for the first time ever. Guess she didn't catch on because today I saw her again and she congratulated me on my pregnancy and said that she heard the news from another employee and didn't know I was expecting. I made awkward small talk saying I didn't really make an announcement and then we proceeded to talk about work stuff. Curious how you all are handling it or planning to handle it at work.

akak23 · September 2019

@k_mama91 thank you ☺️

@Tulips29 thanks for the support also! Great question about work - I similarly don’t see all the people I work with consistently so it’s hard to know when the right time is. I had to tell a few clients I had meetings with this week since I couldn’t go and they were both so supportive and totally fine with phone meetings. Anywho, I don’t know when the right time is but I’m thinking I will continue to tell clients as necessary, but probably
not before.

PoeMasque · September 2019

@emmasemm and @sincethelastday I’m so so happy y’all are connecting with and supporting others. When we decided to be completely open about our IVF journey from the start we never realized how many people it would help. Between my husband and I, we’ve met with 6 other families in person who wanted someone to talk to/support during their own journeys (some are close friends who had been hiding their IF struggles). Sometimes it’s hard to be so open, but then I remember that 8% of the population deals with IF, so there are a lot of people who are out there struggling alone.

@akak23 I’m so sorry things are not going well. It sounds like you are in good hands, but it still has to be scary and unexpected.

I was so excited to hear answers to the GTKY question this week because women are SO freaking amazing and accomplished and we so rarely get the credit deserved for it. All of your answers have literally blown me away. I hope everyone realizes how strong, intelligent, and deserving of worship they are!

@Tulips29 I only told people at work I see regularly (those people knew we were doing IVF though, so they knew right away). Patients are now asking (because it’s obvious), but unless it’s relevant to workflow planning, I am not telling off-site people. It was definitely weird not knowing what to do about the new job. I purposefully worse loose clothes in the interview to hide my bump, but then felt bad when I had to tell my new manager I would be going on leave in 5 months. Surprise!

How far along/EDD? 19+3, 2/8
How are you feeling this week? Big. Also still some fatigue/headaches in the afternoon, but I often don’t get to eat until after 1pm, so I’m likely doing it to myself by not eating more often.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rant - my DH just found out he has to travel for work the entire first week of my new job, so I get to single parent AND figure out daycare travel to and from my new job (he usually picks up and I drop off) I’m exhausted just thinking about it!
Any upcoming appointments? Thursday we have our anatomy scan and should finally find out sex!!
GTKY: what is something you have accomplished that you are really proud of? There’s a lot I’m proud of (like others, my career is a big one), but since I know the statistics, I’m most proud of being the first person in my family to go to college - an accomplishment I credit mostly to the unwavering support of my mom, who told me over and over again that I was worthy and capable, and who fought several times to get me into advanced classes in school when I was overlooked (all while raising three kids and working two jobs!)

k_mama91 · September 2019

@PoeMasque On the work front, dh took a new position back in April and while his supervisor knew we were expecting he just told him yesterday that he was taking two months leave when the baby is born! He gave this poor man 10-11 weeks notice of a two month absence at the busiest time of year for their company. Your manager should be happy with the five month heads up 😂

emmasemm · September 2019

@k_mama91 sorry the constipation is getting to the painful stage - definitely talk to your doctor

@sincethelastday I’m also really surprised they changed your due date. With ART pregnancies they shouldn’t normally. The dating by measuring is not perfectly accurate- but is better than normally fertile women remembering their LMP date accurately, which anyway is only accurate if you ovulate on day 14! One of the midwives at my OB was corrected by my OB at the start not to ever change my due date.

@mbradfo2 I love that you still hang out with us and give us the benefit of your experience! It’s so appreciated! I also feel this real responsibility to help others like I have been helped.

@tulips29 @PoeMasque so “large” seems to be the feeling of the week!!! Do you both have pregnancy pillows? And would you recommend the ones you have?

@akak23 sorry to hear about the graves. Make sure you push them to see you quickly if meds give bad side effects or to get results from tests - don’t let them leave you for days on end! Guilt trip them if you have to, but ones the time to find your inner mama tiger!

@tulips29 I work in an international management role in a big multinational. So I also don’t regularly see all of my peers- nor even my own direct reports or their teams. I first of all told my boss (in person as we are in the same location), then told my direct reports at the end of our regular weekly call, then saw or called the same day the peers I work most closely with - and once they all knew confirmed to them all they could tell anyone they thought needed or might want to know. Since then if I’m in small meetings or calls and people don’t know I just drop it into the conversation at a relevant point. As I used to travel most weeks and I haven’t travelled since June some people were worried I had a serious illness, so I really needed to say something - plus by the evening there is no hiding it’s a bump instead of a fat belly now. It also means my boss and I can now be totally public about searching for my maternity cover. It’s been a crazy 1.5 weeks as of course lots of people want to come and say congratulations when they hear and I was dreading that - but in the end it has opened all these conversations up and omg I never realized just how many people would be so so happy for us. A couple of bigger meetings they have started with a congratulations slide for me even!
My team (and their teams) of course are a little nervous about the maternity cover, will I definitely come back etc but on the other hand we are 2.5 years post reorganization and it is a great time with the teams now being mature and settled so they are all confident things can keep running smoothly. Who would have guessed my IF journey would mean we time it right work wise in the end!!!

Tulips29 · September 2019

Thanks for the comments on the workplace announcements. I've been doing same thing as you ladies, hiding it for some time until it became super obvious. I first told my boss in person and then my entire team and direct reports since there's not that many of us. Then those I'm pretty close with, I've been telling in person. My boss has told most of the senior leadership, but some in various locations I guess don't know. We have coverage for my leave already so now I'm just waiting for my boss to send out a broader announcement so others know who will be covering for my work soon. And as much as I hate people directly asking if someone is expecting, this is probably one of the instances where I don't mind at this point because then it takes the pressure off me of telling them first and figuring out how to tell them in the first place.

@PoeMasque I'd be stressed too with DH traveling and figuring out all the logistics with a kid and a new job for a whole week. Do you have any relatives/friends nearby who can perhaps help if needed? I hope that week flies by for you and you everything goes smoothly.

@emmasemm I have the snoogle pillow from last time so I didn't purchase anything else and not sure if there's anything better out there. I have this one linked below. It works pretty well for me overall. I try to sleep mainly on my left side with the pillow around my back so I don't end up on my back, but it still happens. Only thing I don't love (which is pretty minor really) is when I have it around me from the front so I can hug it in my sleep, I have to flip it over my head several times at night when getting up to the bathroom. So I typically have it around my back and maybe once during the night over my front side until I get up and switch it to have it around my back again. https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/leachco-reg-snoogle-reg-chic-jersey-total-body-pillow-in-heather-grey/1042833666?skuId=42833666&&mrkgcl=609&mrkgadid=3291002260&enginename=google&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_bedding_local&product_id=42833666&adtype=pla&product_channel=local&adpos=1o1&creative=232742510356&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAjwq4fsBRBnEiwANTahcK2W014ohiRFF2w1qycV6FdCvtIS33TZIKbbsscLQf84kbCyrhHlCxoCbuEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds.

sincethelastday · September 2019

@akak23 and @emmasemm - I did IUI. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I’m not 100% sure. My RE went back and forth at my 6 week US with what the most accurate date was between how developed the baby was at that point and when I actually had the IUI. When I went to my OB he had a little manual calculator thing that determines due date based off of last period but also could use when ART was done. According to that thing using the ART calculator part, I would be March 9th. So we decided to go with that since that seems most accurate. Which is kinda weird because I would think my RE would have been the one to get the more “accurate” date, but whatever. It’s not a huge change and, with all the stories I hear about first time babies being late, I’m kinda expecting I won’t deliver right on my due date anyways lol.

@Tulips29 - I’ve told most of my close co-workers and of course my boss. I work at a pretty large workplace, but the team I work with is pretty close and tight knit, so it’s been pretty easy telling them. I’m still not showing much, so it’s been easy to keep the secret from the families I work with. But I don’t know really what the “etiquette” is with telling clients/patients/families who are receiving service from you. I work very closely with these families, but I’m not used to bringing up anything that personal, so it’s going to be weird announcing to them. One family in particular I’ve worked with for close to two years now, so I think it’s going to be hard for both of us to move their case over to another social worker.

PoeMasque · September 2019

@emmasemm i have a U shaped pillow from amazon, I tried the C shaped one and didn’t like it, but I also remember (at the end) not being comfortable with and without my current pillow. You’ll get to a phase where you will want the pillow one minute and throw it to the floor the next haha. There’s no winning once you’re past a certain point. My favorite part of the pillow is that it keeps DH off my side of the bed

k_mama91 · September 2019

@sincethelastday With ds my due date was 12/5 (same as this baby) and they changed it to 12/9, totally fine bc that was a natural pregnancy and it happens. I ended up with an induction on 12/13, had him 12/14. I’m not entirely sure if the due date change came into play or it was a “first babies are usually late”. I was hoping that this baby would come before his due date with it being my second time and then I read a bunch of stories about moms going past their due dates with each pregnancy and now I’m crushed 😂 due dates are a tease IMO

emmasemm · September 2019

@tulips29 @poemasque thanks a lot for the tips - my pillow just arrived tonight! I went for a c shaped one almost identical to the snoogle as they were €200!!! Thought I’d start and see. Tried it out with DH in our guest room as soon as it arrived - never had so much fun with a pillow! Now sitting on the couch with it wrapped around me. It’s awesome!

@sincethelastday I believe you take the day of trigger as your main calc point with IUI - so that becomes the day before ovulation, next day is ovulation day, then day after is 1dpo. But in the end if it’s only a few days and you’re comfortable with it then it’s fine.

PoeMasque · September 2019

Had our anatomy scan this morning and finally found out we are having another boy! I really wanted a girl, but I’m actually pretty happy now at the thought of how close they will be. I think the not knowing was the part that was bothering me haha.

mbradfo2 · September 2019

@PoeMasque
How exciting! Are you guys going to pick out names now or wait? I bet your older boy will be glad to have a little brother

PoeMasque · September 2019

@mbradfo2 we will pick out names now, but it took us forever to find ones we agreed on last time. Boy names are so hard! Plus DH and I have opposing opinions on pretty much everything as it is hahaha.

emmasemm · September 2019

@PoeMasque ah two boys will be like a dynamic duo together! And I assume as all the talk is on boys ;-) that he passed his anatomy scan with flying colors!!!

mbradfo2 · September 2019

@PoeMasque
Yeah, I was lucky we got a girl -- DH rejected every single boy name I offered up to him! But we agreed pretty quickly on the girl name.

Tulips29 · September 2019

@PoeMasque congrats on finally getting the confirmation and a good anatomy scan! We had the complete opposite situation - we were set on a boy name first time around and this second time around pretty quickly if the second one was a boy. Then we found out it's a girl this time and we're still undecided. Boy names were way easier for us.

sincethelastday · September 2019

@PoeMasque - congrats on a great scan and finally finding out! I agree with you that the not knowing is driving me nuts! I think I’m going to feel like this is all more real once I know the sex (have to wait till the end of October for my anatomy scan which seems like forever!!!). And, yeah, I bet they’re going to be like two peas in a pod with being brothers!

k_mama91 · September 2019

@PoeMasque Yay for a great scan and congrats on another boy! It will be so much fun having two little guys so close in age!

PoeMasque · September 2019

@emmasemm yes! Anatomy scan was “perfect” per the OB.....with the slight caveat that I (again!) have placenta previa

only this time it’s completely covering my cervix. She still thinks it will move enough by 32 weeks for vaginal delivery, but told me if I have any spotting or bleeding I will he put on bedrest (boo!).

1st/2nd tri check-in week of 9/16

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