FFFC 9/6

inthewoods23 · September 2019

Time to confess!

inthewoods23 · September 2019

I have feared lately that any Peggys that post here will show up and actually join the BMBs and I'm like, I don't want these inconsiderate strangers on my BMB!

Does this make me a horrible person? 😬

mvt2003 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 Not at all, I would totally side-eye it too.

I have 2 today. Warning, AF is imminent so any flaming WILL make me cry today.

1. Reading the intros on the BMBs makes me sad lately, but I can't stop doing it. I especially get a twinge when I see people who posted here like once join a BMB. Happy for them, sad for me, you know?

2. The longer this whole TTC thing goes on, assuming I am ultimately successful (which feels in question a lot of days, but putting that aside), the less likely I feel I'll want to do this a second time. This has been a year of misery for me, so if I ever manage to have #1, probably not going to go for a #2. I'm an only, and I'm a perfectly normal person, so what the heck, right?

saladflambe · September 2019

I steal the best candy from the work free candy bowl as soon as they fill it up & stash it in my desk.
If there are like 3 kit kats, I do not leave one for someone else.
I take them all.
>.>

saladflambe · September 2019

@mvt2003 Hugs...
I've been making myself ugly cry by watching live pregnancy test taking videos on YouTube.

b_1029 · September 2019

@mvt2003 I also am already stressing about #2+ if it’s the same for every subsequent (ya know, if there is ever a #1) kid. I don’t know if I could do this again and again. Also- only children unite! (I technically have a sister and brother from my dad’s first marriage but they’re in their 50’s and I was raised as an only child)

b_1029 · September 2019

Things that irrationally bother me in terms of TTC/TB-

1. Same as @mvt2003, when someone posts a handful of times and ends up graduating
2. When people end up getting KU the cycle they’re going to the RE
3. When people act like not getting KU their first or second month is the same type of feeling as someone on a double digit cycle/ someone going through IF. I know it’s still frustrating, but come on!!!

ETA these all totally stem from jealousy/bitterness and I’m aware of that

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@mvt2003 I totally understand! If you do see an RE, I feel like it wouldn't be a problem to go to them again sooner when you want to try for #2. Like if an IUI is successful, I would think you could just go back right away and do an IUI again? I feel time would be completely wasted if they tell you that you still have to try for a year before doing IUIs again.

mvt2003 · September 2019

@b_1029 @saladflambe you are my people.

@b_1029 On your #1 I am also absurdly grateful when those ladies follow the rules and don't try to blow up the grad thread though. Serious props.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@b_1029 I definitely have those feelings too of "why couldn't that have been meeeeee??". I will probably always have bitterness that some people pay nothing to conceive a kid while we're over here paying an arm and a leg just for a chance at conceiving.

bluetickgal · September 2019

@mvt2003 @b_1029 I totally feel ya on not being sure about trying for #2 if #1 ever happens! We have said we kind of hope for twins to not have to go through all of this again (although I of course don’t like being higher risk if that does happen, and we don’t have much of an increased chance with what we are doing now anyways)! But like @inthewoods23 hopefully if we get down what works, it wouldn’t take as long the second time around. Sending hugs to you both, and I hope your time is coming so soon! 💜

saladflambe · September 2019

I have many more confessions of the non-flammable (I hope) variety...

I specifically wear tank tops to the gym to lift to be sure my newly acquired muscles show so that people will think I know what I'm doing

and also, of course, so I can stare at myself in the mirror like a gym-rat dude.

mvt2003 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 you're probably right, I just do not think I can do another year of trying with nothing to show. Although I will be AMA then, so it's knocked down to 6 months. Spoiler for me being a sassy sally:

If you're MH's friend's wife, it's only 2 cycles as long as you tell your GYN it's 6... 🤣🙄😒

Although who am I to judge? She's holding 2 LOs today and I'm sitting here WFAF. 😢

inthewoods23 · September 2019

Can we just make it a rule of the universe that you can't get KU unless you're on cycle 4+? I feel like 3 and under is like, no stress and no effort went into trying.

And to add to that f*ck my cousin who has spent less than a quarter of the amount of time I've have been trying for #1 to have 2! And f*ck my sister for making the comment at Christmas last year that she started getting worried at cycle 5. Just UGH.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@mvt2003 it's all so tough!

mvt2003 · September 2019

@bluetickgal We were with MH's former boss last weekend (he's a family friend) and he was telling us about a mutual acquaintance's LO news, spoiler below:

They were having problems getting KU, did some sort of RE treatments, and now are KU with triplets. The hilarious part is his old boss is a 70 year old Irishman who kept saying to me "I just had no idea that was even possible, that fertility treatments could mean multiples!" And I'm over here like "I bet it was Clomid"

b_1029 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I like that rule! sounds like my manager when I told her about IF. “It took 4 months to conceive my daughter (her 3rd kid mind you) and it was so hard”

Or like the drive by who thinks she has an issue since it has been 4 months with no success.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@b_1029 right!! and wasn't she trying for kid #3?? Like bitch I'm 30 and I have NONE. Be happy you have 2 running around your house right now.

I need to go find that thread for a laugh. How long ago was that drive-by?

mvt2003 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 @b_1029 I'm surrounded by people who got KU on cycle #1 IRL. No need to wonder why I don't talk about TTC in front of them. The only person I've confided in IRL is my single best friend who does not even understand how to TTC yet. She told me another friend is trying and hasn't had success yet and thinks she's missed O, but Single Bestie and her other Single Bestie are so confused like "but wait, does that mean they're not HIO anymore? How do you miss it?" I then tried to explain how very easy it can be to miss O when you're scheduling HIO and you're not using OPKs and BBT.

I'd literally be huddled in a corner chewing my hair without this board.

bluetickgal · September 2019

@mvt2003 oh, I’d say that’s a great guess that it was Clomid! Haha. I’m glad we didn’t stick with it for more than 2 cycles (especially because my OB didn’t monitor, which I now know is terrible)! That was right after we found out I had PCOS and wasn’t ovulating...luckily, I didn’t ovulate on it and get knocked up with quintuplets or something!

b_1029 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 she also expresses her frustration at her children to me all the time which is fun. I don’t think it was very long ago- this week maybe? The title was like “TTC and feeling hopeless then silly”

@mvt2003 hahaha I just laughed out loud at your last sentence...I have no idea where I would be without this board. Maybe in an asylum. my BFF knows everything I’ve gone through but also got KU on cycle 1...and my cousin did on accident. They’re the closest to me of the 40+ people (this includes social media “friends”- don’t be fooled that I’m friends with that many people ha) that have gotten KU since we started trying. They get what we’re going through, but not REALLY.

mokay19 · September 2019

I have no problem unfollowing people on social media when they get knocked up. GTFO of my face.

b_1029 · September 2019

@mokay19 the mute feature is my favorite instagram feature! I used to be so stressed people would notice I unfollowed them and now I can mute away. Oh cool you’re KU? Byeeeeee

mvt2003 · September 2019

@b_1029 YEP! 100%. If someone has literally never looked at a BFN in her life, I do not want to talk to her about this.

Also @mokay19 That mute button is my actual favorite. My insta became a much nicer place for me when I muted all of my friends-who-have-LOs' stories.

hanshotfirst77 · September 2019

The second I find out someone in PG on FB I snooze them and get sadder and sadder every time I have to re-snooze them and still am not PG. But I legit feel zero shame for having to snooze them. @mokay19 I feel the same way GTFO! lol

saladflambe · September 2019

Sorry to keep just blurting s*** out but...

my boss just left, and I'm totally leaving early to go to trader joes

Edit: also, I've done zero work today

Edit again: but I did do a little work at like 7pm last night & then held onto that work til mid-morning so I could pass it off as work I did this morning...

saladflambe · September 2019

Oh, another

I've eaten an entire gigantic bag of pretzels in...4 days.

mvt2003 · September 2019

Here's another.

MH is oddly nervous to go see a scary movie tonight, and I am secretly laughing at him for it.

millpe · September 2019

@mvt2003 I talk to my friends about TTC, especially the ones that got KU cycle 1. Also props for talking to your single bestie about. Even though they dont "get it" I think its helpful for people to know what others are going through. Or for people not yet TTC so they dont just think it's always easy and then end up as Peggy's on here. My bestie was open about her IF and fertility treatments with me long before I ever was TTC and it made me at least aware of the possibility. Also helped when I also struggled I knew i had someone I could talk to that understood.

mvt2003 · September 2019

@millpe I think it's a really great point that educating others eventually serves other purposes, and I know once it's my single bestie's turn, she'll have a different frame of reference for this.

tyrion_ · September 2019

I have had a lot of anxiety about moving on from this board and causing the ladies I’ve grown to care about any pain. When I joined TTGP I didn’t think through what my presence and departure could cause others.

But my confession is that I don’t regret it. Selfishly, I needed this group.

*TW loss mentioned*

I had no one irl that had experienced a loss. And whenever I would try to talk about it things would get awkward. People never knew what to say and it was easier to ignore. Even my husband is weird about it and doesn’t know what to say.

So, bring the flames. I was totally selfish when jumping back into TTGP. But just know I root for most of you ladies harder than I root for myself. Because ttc is unfair.

bows22 · September 2019

@tyrion_ I, for one, am very happy you are here. Everything you say to support me is so heartfelt and I also think you are hilarious. The vibe I get from this board is that no matter the path, everyone who “gets it” is welcome here. ❤️

b_1029 · September 2019

@tyrion_ I don’t remember you ever being selfish! I’m so glad you’re here (well I’m not, but you know what I mean) in our corner of the internet ❤️

mvt2003 · September 2019

@tyrion_ you’re one of us and stuck with us!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

hanshotfirst77 · September 2019

@tyrion_ I don’t think you’ve ever been selfish here. You’ve always been super supportive especially over in TTCAL ❤️

emeraldduchess · September 2019

@tyrion_ you've been nothing but supportive to me and have made me chuckle when nothing else could. 💚

tyrion_ · September 2019

Oh, man. I didn’t mean to turn this into a “hair pats for me” thread. It was my attempt to unload my guilt. And now my “dear diary, I am full of guilt and anxiety” has me teary eyed from your sweet words.

Thanks, friends. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

kpearse99 · September 2019

@tyrion_ ummmm did I miss something??!!! I love that you’re apart of this group!! You help me...us... get through our darkest days!! How is that selfish?! And you shouldn’t feel guilty about the glorious day you get to move on from this board... we will all be there cheering you on!!

charmedlifex3 · September 2019

My FFFC - sometimes I log on at midnight and just fill up all the threads #allbymyself
@tyrion_ Pretty sure you belong here. I mean, I wish you weren't but we are here to celebrate every BFP with you, and mourn every loss. Hopefully more of the former, and less of the later. All the rainbow vibes coming your way.

FFFC 9/6

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