Weekly Randoms 9/2 - 9/8

mvt2003 · September 2019

@saladflambe Not exactly haha! I would classify it more as standing in the middle of a crowded room yelling for help, then ignoring everyone who offers you help or feedback.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@saladflambe lmao the Jenny girl. She's posted like 5 times now all with concerns (started with complaining she has no pregnancy symptoms). Latest is asking if she should go to the ER for spotting.

@mvt2003 that's what I was thinking as well. I just know for some people they feel like everybody abandons them when they're grieving and I don't want to come across that way! Especially since my FET is coming up and obviously I want to be sensitive to her situation should the FET work. I was thinking if she doesn't reach out I'll shoot her a text late next week after my FET is done. Maybe I can offer help with getting all the details together for the wedding because I'm sure now it will feel hard to be happy and excited about getting married when you have a loss fresh in your mind.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@ruby696 my friend has had some MIL drama during wedding planning and she said her future MIL made her cry once but she waited until she got home to cry in the shower because she hates the idea of people seeing her cry so I totally get what you're saying about not wanting to have face to face with people after your losses.

@saladflambe I think you might be my new favorite person with your zest for drama 😆

saladflambe · September 2019

@inthewoods23

gotta entertain myself somehow... who wants to actually do work in the last hour? ..or...ever, really... but anyways

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@saladflambe this is exactly why I take walks in the mid-afternoon. My productivity drops after lunch most days. Walks help break up the day!

mvt2003 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 @saladflambe I have nothing left in the tank today, honestly. Wish I could just leave early, but I'll definitely still be here at 5:30 😢

saladflambe · September 2019

@mvt2003 booo

I'm sorry.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@mvt2003 @saladflambe it does not help that my work is slow. Lots of people are probably on vacation this week!

saladflambe · September 2019

I hoarded all of my PTO & am burnt out. (We also moved, and that was so stressful.) I just had 4 days off, but it wasn't enough...I need moar. So, I have lots of work to do, but zero motivation.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@mvt2003 @saladflambe maybe this is mean to say, but I'm curious to hear what week 10 will bring for our Peggy friend

@saladflambe I'm totally dragging this week too after the long weekend! It was hard coming back to work!

emeraldduchess · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I am way late here, but I agree with what many others have said about supporting your friend. I would definitely send her something like flowers or an Edible Arrangement. Make sure that she knows that her baby was loved and mattered. For me personally, the hardest part of my losses has been the complete silence from others.

mvt2003 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I will also admit I'm curious - since she hasn't joined a BMB, will she just move along to 2nd Tri?

whitealbum29 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 - I agree with @ruby696 that some space for a couple days could be good and then a text checking in maybe this weekend, just saying you're thinking of her.

Also TW -- loss

My cousin lost a baby at full term a couple of months ago. I wrote her a short note and basically was like "I hope you're taking time to grieve this loss in whatever way you need to, and I know it may take time to find peace but I hope it gets easier as time goes on" -- basically trying to counter what I've heard a lot of people (not anyone here obvs!) tend to say when someone has a MC/late term loss. People don't know how to react and end up saying stuff like "You can have another baby" and suggesting, maybe without meaning to, that these aren't "real" losses and that you should move on ASAP. I think hearing from someone like you, who can empathize and who knows what a heartbreaking loss this is could be comforting.

Also I have a friend whose father died a couple years ago and a mutual friend sent a plant to her family, which I thought was a nice alternative to flowers.

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@emeraldduchess the edible arrangement is probably my best bet considering they planned on naming her Daisy 😬 don't want to accidentally have those in a bouquet of flowers

@mvt2003 @ruby696 @emeraldduchess thanks so much for your input!

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@whitealbum29 I totally agree with that. They'll know when they're ready to start trying again, even if it seems like a long ways away to everyone outside them. She mentioned they probably wouldn't try again until next summer and I think that's a really healthy amount of time for them to grieve and be ready to move forward and I totally respect that.

ziggymama06 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I'm so sorry for your friend. I haven't had a loss like that but in dealing with loss in general, a text to let them know you are thinking of them or calling and leaving a vm that you are thinking of them and will try them back in a few days if they want to talk. Someone grieving may not always want to initiate the conversation, but may be open if the opportunity arises. I did that with my aunt and a few days later she answered the phone and was open to having company (me) over to visit her. I like the idea of a plant. When my now husband's grandmother passed when we were first dating, I got him a peace lily plant. He still has it 11 years later and really enjoys taking care of it.

Also, I've been watching that Peggy for weeks *sigh*

mvt2003 · September 2019

Omg @inthewoods23

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/OhrNfRrBxgz16/giphy.gif

whitealbum29 · September 2019

@ziggymama06 yes a peace lily! That’s what my friend sent I think.

bluetickgal · September 2019

@inthewoods23 so sorry that your friend is going through this! I don’t have much else to add that hasn’t already been said...but I second the giving her some time and also via text at first. For me, when someone asks how I’m doing when I’m upset, that makes me break down right then & there! I like the idea of sending a plant that they can keep, edible arrangements sounds like a good option too!

gingermama29 · September 2019

@inthewoods23 sorry, I'm just catching up now. So sorry to hear about your friend. That is so heartbreaking. I don't have much advice beyond what's already been offered.

tyrion_ · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I’m so sorry for your friend. I used to work in the NICU and met a lot of grieving moms along the way. The biggest takeaway I got was that silence was more damaging than possibly saying the wrong the thing. Many people stay silent because they don’t want to “remind” them of their grief; but trust me, Daisy will never be far from the forefront of her mind. You won’t bring up anything that isn’t already there. And don’t be afraid to use her name. Many of the moms expressed to me that hearing their baby’s names made them feel as if they haven’t been forgotten. You know your friend best, so feel her out for sure. But never be afraid to offer words to her, even if it’s just “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say”. The silence is deafening.

Also, the hurricane barely scraped by us. We went to Disney today again. I’m exhausted from all the fun we’ve been having and I’m so excited to get back to our normal routine tomorrow.

tyrion_ · September 2019

I got stuck in all the boxes up there. That was an accident. And I can’t figure out how to undo it.

@inthewoods23 the top box is for you. I’m mobile bump challenged. My bad.

jennifer_louise · September 2019

@tyrion_ here's me wondering what could be so juicy to be a spoiler within a spoiler

(JK I loved both parts of your post, and so glad you were able to have fun this week!)

saladflambe · September 2019

Everyone -- go ask your SO what the "R" on a regular tampon stands for (obv don't tell them it means 'regular').... report back.

My husband: "That end goes towards the rear?"

... ded

mindyb2019 · September 2019

@saladflambe hahaha omg 😆I just died reading your husbands answer. Towards the rear lol. I asked my husband what the R stands for on the tampon and he totally knows. He said regular. *props to my hubby* 😊

tyrion_ · September 2019

@jennifer_louise I kept making it worse every time I tried something so I gave up. Stupid inception spoilers 😂

keikilove · September 2019

@inthewoods23 I’m sorry for the devastating news your friend has gotten. I think you’re doing a great thing by asking how you can be there for her. I feel that @emeraldduchess & @tyrion_ said it perfectly: the silence is deafening. That was the most hurtful with my late loss. So much so that I haven’t told anyone but you ladies about my early losses that have followed. It may be good to text your friend in the first day or so, but be sure to speak to her to acknowledge her grief & huge loss. It’s wonderful that you can offer to help with the wedding. You may even offer your immense knowledge of TTC once she’s ready to consider that again. Hugs to you both!

jennifer_louise · September 2019

@tyrion_ I actually tried to do inception spoilers to respond to your post but couldn't figure out how... Props to you 😂

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@saladflambe lmao I totally just saw that recently. DH is on his way home, I'll have to ask 😂

@tyrion_ that's really reassuring!

She really hesitated to tell me about getting KU knowing that I've been trying for so long and this one was a surprise. I told her not to be weird around me about it and I was totally happy for them. Better to talk about it than to pretend everything is normal.

emeraldduchess · September 2019

@saladflambe I just asked my DH and he had no idea what the R is for. I told him to guess and he said "rectum". I don't know what to think about that. 😳

inthewoods23 · September 2019

@saladflambe I asked DH and his first response was "what is this? A robot?" 🤣🤣🤣 then his guess was that it means "right" once I clarified that it was a tampon lololol.

swizzlemalarkey · September 2019

@saladflambe I saw that post too and grabbed a regular tampon (convenient that I have my period) and ran out to ask my H, he said rectum like @emeraldduchess 's H

i'm hoping he was joking haha! and then I asked my friend who is staying here and he said regular so I was proud of him!

dpchickens · September 2019

inthewoods23 Food. Send her food. Feeding myself, especially after DH went back to work, took more energy than I could even admit to. I actually mentioned about how when a baby is born, people rally to bring the new parents casseroles and food and stuff, and how they do that after funerals. But the same thing is needed during MC. If you know she's home alone a day, call/text her near lunch/dinner, and tell her you want to buy her lunch and have it delivered to her house.

Also, after one of my losses, someone sent me an edible arrangement and it was perfect also because I love fruit. So again, was sweet and helped me actually feed myself...

saladflambe · September 2019

All these rectum responses...

tyrion_ · September 2019

I am locked out of my house. This is the most Monday Thursday ever.

mvt2003 · September 2019

We had a very Adult Conversation night, and talked about TTC and taxes. I just updated my W4 to take additional money out so we won't owe at the end of the year. Being a grown-up sucks.

b_1029 · September 2019

Is anyone / has anyone been affected by the hurricane this week?

emeraldduchess · September 2019

One of my students asked if I would have all of the summer book reports graded by tomorrow. Dude. It's the first day of school. Chill.

mvt2003 · September 2019

@emeraldduchess I feel like I want to do summer book reports and have them graded now!!!!

tyrion_ · September 2019

@b_1029 We were supposed to feel the effects (Orlando) but thankfully didn’t get anything. Looking at the Bahamas, I am so happy it turned for us. The damage down there has my heart so broken.

Edit: grammar error

Weekly Randoms 9/2 - 9/8

Re: Weekly Randoms 9/2 - 9/8

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