WRW September 2019

jackie_dunny · September 2019

***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***

Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday! You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason.

I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the month if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.
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When do you think you will start TTC?

What brings you to WRW?

Any R/R?

GTKY: What is your favorite season?

jackie_dunny · September 2019

When do you think you will start TTC? November 2020

What brings you to WRW? Like minded individuals and a place to rant and rave to internet (but friendly) strangers

Any R/R? Rant - Got into a pretty huge fight with some of my family back in the US. Long story short - I've been holding in a secret for 8 and a half years since my dad passed away and holding it in to protect that side of the family has been eating away at me ever since (honestly, I think it's a huge reason why I've been so depressed recently). I recently confessed this secret in a mean drunken stupor. I whole-heartedly admit I didn't deliver in the best way (or even a good way) but holding it in was literally killing me. Anyways, they want nothing to do with me anymore because of the news which I think is a little unfair because it wasn't MY secret. I don't like that I had to pass the hurt on to them and now they are calling me a liar. Luckily, the other side of my family was also aware of this secret so they know I'm telling the truth. I guess I'm just having a hard time closing that chapter of my life with them and I keep bouncing around in my head asking if I'm a bad person or not...

Rave - Anywayyyyyyy, looking to the bright side! I've got a wedding this weekend that I am REALLY excited for!

GTKY: What is your favorite season? Hands down, autumn. Love the crisp in the air, the crunchy leaves, etc. September-December is by far the best time of the year! Recently came across a quote that I think is so lovely: "The trees are about to show us how beautiful it can be to let things go"

thesquidsmom · September 2019

When do you think you will start TTC? - whenever my SO decides he’s ready to hop on the baby train with me... so, your guess is as good as mine Hahahaha

What brings you to WRW? - getting to know individuals in a similar boat, having a safe place to discuss frustrations, fears etc. and providing support to those who need it

Any R/R? - Rant - my giant 2 year-old boerboel (South African mastiff) has decided he needs to mark every corner of the dang house it seems. Not sure what’s going on there, he’s been housebroken for a looooooong time. He isn’t fixed so maybe that’s why. But it’s totally random and annoying lol

Rave - Missed my Self Care Sunday ritual yesterday due to a bunch of running around. I’ve been really into taking time for myself to pamper and/or unwind and relax. Luckily, since today is a holiday I’ll be treating my self to a relaxing at home spa day. Oh and boyfriend flies back home tonight! Granted, I’ll be sleeping when he finally gets here, but I’m excited to his face when I wake up in the morning

GTKY: What is your favorite season? - fall is hands down my favorite season and it’s not even close. In New England where I live, the changing leaves get so vibrant with a nice mix of red, orange, yellow and even some plum. The air is cooler and there’s even a distinct autumn air smell that I just love. Plus thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday!

@jackie_dunny I love that quote, it’s so true. Also, in my opinion speaking the truth, no matter how painful for yourself and/or others, will never make you a bad person, even if the message is delivered in a less than ideal manner. I’m so sorry you are going through that with your family but I’m glad that you have other family members who understand, believe, and support you. I hope things look up for you

ziggymama06 · September 2019

When do you think you will start TTC? This month! AHHHHH.. I think I'm going to intro in TTGP. I'll keep checking back here on you girls

What brings you to WRW? Babies on the brain!

Any R/R? Rant: work will be so busy this week and it's only a three day work week for me with the holiday today and I'm off Friday to prep for my SIL wedding.

Rave: Excited that I only have three days to work this week and cannot wait for the wedding. The hurricane off of Florida may come up here for next weekend... fx it stays at bay. The ceremony is supposed to be outside down the shore. Prayers for Bahamas getting beaten now.

GTKY: What is your favorite season? I love fall as well with the foliage and all the fall holidays. My bday is around Halloween, Thanksgiving is always wonderful with all the food! Then Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday and I get into the spirit the day after Thanksgiving lol

@jackie_dunny I'm so sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this and holding it in for years. I understand the message may not have come out as you intended, but you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. You tried to hold it in to protect them but was doing damage to yourself in the process. I agree that the truth is best and shouldn't be your burden to bear. Your family is upset at this time but should come around, give them time to heal and accept this. ❤

@thesquidsmom I love that you have a self care regimen every week! I should adopt that! I have tons of face masks bc I have an obsession purchasing them and forget to use them! What is involved in your self care Sundays? Sorry your pup is misbehaving, sounds like something could be up. Have you introduced anything new in your house? Maybe a checkup at the vet? Excited your bf will be home tonight!

thesquidsmom · September 2019

@ziggymama06 I’ll keep my fx that the weather behaves itself for the wedding! I also get really into the spirit of Christmas! I like to do a lot of DIY gifts for family and friends. It always feels so good to put in that extra effort for people.

Self care is like my absolute favorite thing, I’ve been doing it every week for 6months or so. My routine can vary but there are always constants. I always do a hair mask, exfoliate my whole bod, and shave my legs in the shower. Just before hoping out I wash my face. I always use a body butter followed by a body oil. From there I apply a sheet mask (or another kind of mask). I take that time to read or draw for a bit, or I’ll give my feet some love while the mask works its magic. I follow that with the rest of my regular daily routine (face cream, eye cream and then a layer of face oil). With the face oil I’ll sometimes give myself a face massage either with my hands or my rose quartz face roller for 5-20min or more depending on time. Sometimes I’ll do my nails too but I rarely paint them. I usually take it easy the rest of the day. Hang out in my robe, make myself something especially yummy to eat and/or drink, read or draw some more, dote on my plants, binge a favorite show... basically anything that will make me feel relaxed, happy and/or whole. Sometimes I’ll also give boyfriend a good foot soak, take a pumice stone to his feet, and finish off with a nice foot and leg rub. I have friends that will journal or declutter (doesn’t sound relaxing to me lol) or treat themselves to a trip to their favorite cafe or clothing store. I do that on occasion too but I honestly prefer to just be home on Sundays.

as for the dog, I’m wondering if it’s separation anxiety with boyfriend being away. He truly is a creature of habit and we haven’t changed anything at home. If it keeps up we’ll definitely be taking a trip to the vet.

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@thesquidsmom strange about the dog. I'd say it might have something to do with him not being fixed or the separation anxiety idea. Does your boyfriend go away regularly or is this a change for him? That self care routine sounds LUSH! I love doing a little pampering or taking a bath. I like that you put your self-care first. It's very important to do that. Wahoo that BF comes back tonight! How long has he been gone? I'm not from New England but am from NJ and love the leave changes and the smell of autumn. I was worried I'd miss that living over here but luckily we still get it. It's actually starting already and I'm just all snuggly-happy inside!

@ziggymama06 AHH!! I saw your intro post in TTGP! Good luck, my friend! I'll be lurking! I'll be keeping my FX the weather stays at bay for the wedding! It was supposed to DOWNPOUR on my wedding day and miraculously it didn't at all but my sister told me this great idea and I pass it along to all other brides who might experience rain on their day. If you place a jar outside, let it collect the rainwater. Then you can save the jar as your "wedding day rain" and use to the christen any babies. If you don't do christening, you can take it home and use it for some other purpose or even save it for some time. I just thought it was really beautiful and what a memento to keep! My bday is around Halloween, too! One week after! I get right into the Christmas spirit after Thanksgiving as well. In fact, I have to stop myself from doing it any sooner

Both: thank you very much for your words of support. It's honestly made me feel a lot better.

ziggymama06 · September 2019

@thesquidsmom OMG!! Your self care routine sound AHmazing!! I love it! I think I definitely need to adopt something like this and make the time for me. I always find myself putting everyone and everything else first that I'm too tied to focus on me. That is strange about your dog. Is your bf traveling something newer that will continue regularly? I hope puppy gets used to it and is able to cope with the anxiety.

@jackie_dunny Yay to scorpios!! The past two years I found myself listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving because I was too excited. I always try to wait until after to enjoy one holiday at a time, but it's tough, lol. Omg, I love that idea of setting a jar out to catch the rainwater! It actually did pour on my wedding day, but thankfully all guests were already at the reception so it wasn't a big deal. I'm going to do that for my SIL if it rains. Thanks for the well wishes on TTGP, so surreal! Ahh!

thesquidsmom · September 2019

@jackie_dunny and @ziggymama06 if you can carve out even just an hour for yourself, I highly recommend. It is really so satisfying to put some real energy into myself each week.

traveling for bf is not very common. The trip to visit his aunt this weekend had been planned for a while due to health conserns and last weekend was to attend a funeral. Between this weekend and last he has been away from home for 6 nights. Poor guy didn’t get in last night until 3am. He’s had a bit of a rough month. I’m guessing that must be what’s throwing the dog out of wack since it’s outside of the norm.

@jackie_dunny I love the rain water idea! I may just save that to my “someday” file!! So sweet!

@ziggymama06 good luck with TTGP!! How exciting!!

ziggymama06 · September 2019

@thesquidsmom Thanks!! Yes, I will definitely try to carve out some me time. Every year on my bday I go to the spa for a day of pampering all by myself lol. That's coming up next month so I'm looking forward to it! Ugh, that travel must be tough on your bf. I hope your pup eases back into routine now that he is home. Keep us posted with how your talk goes with him!! Good luck!

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@thesquidsmom yes, keep us posted on how the pup adjusts now the your BF is home and how the talk goes 🤞🏻

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@thesquidsmom yes, keep us posted on how the pup adjusts now the your BF is home and how the talk goes 🤞🏻

jackie_dunny · September 2019

Sorry. My first time bumping from the app in awhile and I’m having issues 😂

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@thesquidsmom ugh I feel you on the whole dog thing. My cane corso just turned one and recently has decided he wants to be a "man dog." I work for a GP vet clinic that focuses on reproduction which means that I see like a ton of in heat bitches a day. Between that and the c sections we do he is constantly zones in on a pant leg or my smock top chattering away like an asshole. Thankfully he doesn't mark things. I think I would go bonkers if he did. Especially in my house. I wish I had an answer for you there...

When do you think you will start TTC?
Hopefully at the end of this year but probably the biginning of next.

What brings you to WRW?
I wanna talk baby, but my husband doesn't.

Any R/R?

Rant on myself. I call my dog dickheads. Like, a lot. It's like a term of endearment at my house with them. I always though I said it out of earshot of my 3 year old, but apparently I didn't. Now he won't stop calling people dickheads when he's mad at them. 😬

GTKY: What is your favorite season?
Fall! I love the weather and halloween is the ish. However, we seem to really only get like 2 or 3 weeks of it here in the PNW.

thesquidsmom · September 2019

Omg @duck_duck_goose my dog does that sometimes too. My sister has a pitty female that isn’t fixed. Anytime I come home from her house he’s all over me. Sniffing, licking, chuffing (I think it’s called lol). He also like to suck on blankets. Like a pacifier or something. I’ve never seen another dog do it, but luckily we’ve basically broken him of that habit.

@ziggymama06 and @jackie_dunny had the talk last night. It didn’t go well. I cried a lot despite my best efforts not to. He’s not ready and won’t be for the foreseeable future. He said he’s emotionally not there yet, that he’s not where he wants to be financially, that he doesn’t want to live in this town anymore, and that he’s scared. That was a hard pill to swallow because I don’t see how we can fix some of those things anytime soon. I’m absolutely devastated. On a semi positive note. He agreed to discuss again in 6months and to be diligent about condoms

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose your intro had me dying 😂 too funny about your LO. DH calls our dog a “little shit” as a term of endearment all the time. What’s the PNW?

@thesquidsmom I’m so sorry

have you guys talked about what your plans are re: his fears? Baby or not, it sounds like it’s something that needs to be addressed. I suppose it’s best to look at the bright side like you said that he’s willing to talk about it in 6 months and didn’t completely write you off. Proud of you for having the talk!

ziggymama06 · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose welcome!

@thesquidsmom I'm sorry the talk didn't go well and you weren't able to keep yourself composed - it's so tough to when speaking about something so emotional!! I totally understand if he needs time to "feel" ready. But honestly, I don't think we ever feel ready. I'm the most ready I've ever felt and still petrified! Hopefully he will come around on his own and maybe at the next talk he could give you some specifics of things he would like to accomplish (or you could mention that sooner so you know what to prepare for and sort of like setting a goal, depending on what his wishes are). As far as moving, have you guys been talking about this, or did he just spring this on you? Perhaps this is a good place to start, goal-wise?

@jackie_dunny How are you? How are things at work?

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@thesquidsmom 😂 yes! The all over me part of me has been an on going issue that we are working on. He is a bit of a horn dog (pun uninteded). My rottweiler was a banket sucker for a while. She liked to steal my kids' blankets and suck on them a lot. She ruined a couple good blankets by putting holes in them from her over zealous sucking. 🙄

@jackie_dunny PNW stands for the Pacific North West region in the US. It consists of Washington, Oregon and Idaho.

@ziggymama06 thank you!

thesquidsmom · September 2019

Oh @duck_duck_goose I feel your pain. We lost many a good blanket fighting the good fight lmao

@jackie_dunny and @ziggymama06 I spent the last couple of days putting some real energy into figuring out what’s most important to me and why. I brought these things up last night, careful to preface that I wasn’t trying to start the discussion back up but I felt these things were important enough for us both to consider prior to our next conversation. I asked him to take these next several months to think about what’s holding him back, his fears, and what we can do to help alleviate some of that so that or next chat can be productive. He was very receptive to that, thank goodness.

As far as the house goes, that wasn’t a huge surprise. We’ve talked in the past about selling or converting a section into an Airbnb rental but hadn’t ever started any action plans. What was a bit of a surprise is that he wants to be elsewhere before we try. We talked about that at length last night too and need to decide what we’re doing.

@ziggymama06 you are so right, it’s damn near impossible to feel 100% ready. If you wait until the stars are perfectly aligned, you’ll be waiting forever because that’s not how life works. There will always be something that gets in the way.

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@thesquidsmom girl I feel you so hard on everything you're going through, and I am so happy you have him at least somewhat receptive to the idea of talking about it. Sitting in that "are we doing this or not" limbo is so frustrating.

thesquidsmom · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose frustrating is an understatement! He’s a super cautious guy, every milestone we’ve hit took a lot of convincing before getting there. This will likely be the same, he’s the first to admit it. Like one of his fears is simply being afraid to be a dad, which is understandable and not uncommon. But at the same time, he’s already kind of playing that role (and quite well I might add) with my daughter. I know step-parenting is not the same by any means but he’s had more involvement and has been more of a father figure to her than her own dad. I just wish he could see it through that lens, you know?...... I’m hoping I can help him see that. But I also don’t want to rush him. Ugh! I guess we’ll see how things have progressed in 6 months. I’m so glad I found this group man, it’s so good to know I’m not alone!

ivyvines6 · September 2019

When do you think you will start TTC?
Fall of 2020 (maybe 2021)

What brings you to WRW?
I keep lurking and falling asleep before I respond... Sorry lol

Any R/R?

Rant: Been seeing a therapist for about a month now because I haven’t been in a good place for a long while and while it’s been very restorative and helpful, literally any time I spend with my mom completely derails everything. I wish I could just tell her to go away, at least while I’m in this phase of healing, but I’d be attacked nonstop by everyone in my family if I even attempted that for my own mental health.
Rave: My 3 1/2y/o hasn’t had an accident in like a week! Potty training is worse that giving birth, I swear.

GTKY: What is your favorite season?
i would say Fall but I live in north central Florida and I only get two seasons here. (Summer and like a month of fall.) Halloween is legit the best holiday ever though.

thesquidsmom · September 2019

@ivyvines6 I’m sorry you’ve been struggling for some time but I’m glad therapy is working for you

I can so relate about your mom. I have a very close yet very strained (bordering on toxic) relationship with my mother and as hard as it can be sometimes, taking some space or simply putting my foot down, especially to protect my mental health and wellbeing, is a must. I don’t know the particulars of your relationship, but I do know the struggle if you ever need to vent about it.

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

I totally get you, girl. My SO and yours seem to have a lot in common. Life has to be planned out to the very last detail, however he is constantly changing his mind on things. It makes for a major case of whip lash. It makes talking out big decisions a nightmare and I don't even entertain it with the little stuff anymore. I have a very "come back at me when you know what it is you wanna do or talk about" attitude about it anymore.

@ivyvines6 I'm sorry about your mom and the lack of freedom your family has given you to take a step back. That has to be hard. But I am so happy you have a therapist to help you work things out! And GIRL I HATE POTTY TRAINING SO MUCH. my 3yo was afraid to poop for the longest time. Like, he would have panic attacks, and hold in his poop so long his body would literally force it out. It was awful. Thankfully we seem to be over the worst of it thanks to the help of "magic" chocolate chips that make pooping not hurt (desperate times, man...) now if I can just start weening him off of pull ups at night time that would be great.

thesquidsmom · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose yes! He’s the exact same way! You should’ve seen him when he bought a new car last year. Did Crazy research, found the perfect deal, drove 2 hours out of his way for it, negotiated like a mad man and still fretted about it after it was all said and done lol

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@thesquidsmom oh god the buyers remorse! It's ridiculous! He will give himself guilt trips over big purchases that are completely necessary for a week before I'm finally like dude, you gotta cut it out. It was 100% necessary. We NEED this. I mean, money is a bit tight but we aren't so broke that we have to fret about where money is coming from. We make enough to pay our bills and save a bit each month, however money has been a huge factor foe him and having another baby. Granted I didn't get any paid time off for maternity leave when I had my first 2. Now there is a state law making it so that I get FMLA even while working for a small business (thanks Wa state voters!) So there won't be that issue next time around. But he still struggles with the "what ifs".

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@ziggymama06 I've been doing much better. Still feel like I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster most days (really good days followed by not so good days) but I'm still chugging along. Work is wonderful. I feel so bad about how much work I've missed and I'm so embarrassed and ashamed but all they've said is, "it's all good. You're here now." Like, they don't "get" the depression and anxiety but they are so patient and caring and I'm so lucky to work for such a lovely company.

@duck_duck_goose @t@thesquidsmom I had know idea blanket sucking with dogs was a thing!

@duck_duck_goose I was close. I was reading it as Pure North West in my head for some reason

@thesquidsmom that sounds like a really great talk! I hope you're feeling better about getting some of this all off your chest and being open and honest with him.

@ivyvines6 I'm glad you find that going to a therapist has been helpful. I feel you on your mom dragging you back down. Like @thesquidsmom said, it's one of those easier said than done things but it's really important to make you and your health a priority. Wahoo on the potty training! I remember thinking it was really weird having summer all year round when I lived in Orlando. I was wearing shorts and a t shirt on Christmas Day and it was just too weird for this Jersey Girl. LOVE Halloween as well!

ziggymama06 · September 2019

@jackie_dunny I'm happy you are doing better that everyone at work is so understanding. Just because someone hasn't lived through your experience doesn't mean they don't understand to the best of their ability and empathize. They may have loved ones who have been in a similar situation so there is no need to feel embarrassed!! They are happy you are back, so just go with it - no looking back!

PS. I lived in Orlando for 6 months... How funny both Jersey girls who lived in Orlando??!! Had I not gotten together with my hubby I planned on studying in England... We may be like the same person!! hahaha

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/g0/bbc0478z5xc7.gif

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@ziggymama06 omg how funny! We have such similar paths

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@jackie_dunny dude I have worked with dogs my whole adult life and I can confidently say that they are freakin' weirdos. They are constantly doing dumb things or eating things that make you question existence and life. 😂

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose oh I definitely feel you on the eating strange things. My dog will eat ANY. THING.

xwhyandz · September 2019

Hi guys! I missed you!

What brings me here?
persistent baby fever, today in particular I’m babysitting my second cousins and I’m already heart broken about them leaving and my house being kid free.

When will we start TTC:
Maybe as early as spring 2020!

Rant:
Lately my partner and I have been having weird communication issues. We’re normally really in sync but we’ve been stressed out trying to get our car back on the road. It’s been one issue after the other for the last 6ish weeks. Fortunately I work from home and he works like 2 lights down the street so we’ve been maintaining. I’m just looking forward to having more mobility and that seamless communication that I love between us.

Rave: two things! Partner and I are getting married in January! Planning a wedding is stressful but I’m really excited to be planning with him and I can’t wait for our special day. Also, I started bullet journaling and it’s amazing! It’s become a part of my self care and just general enjoyment.

heres a pic of my index

Fave Season:
Summer! I love feeling the temperature climb and the longer days of sunshine. I think I was meant to live in a tropical climate because cold or dry air makes me so uncomfortable, give me the humidity!

@jackie_dunny I’m sorry that family stuff has been stressful. I recently had a very similar situation where I shared a secret in the midst of an angry conversation and got dismissed. It’s hard to bear those burdens alone and I’m glad you have some support.

There are so many other great things but I’m gonna post then go back to read and respond to everyone!

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@xwhyandz congratulations on your wedding coming up! That's so exciting! Weddings are always a good time.

also I'm sorry about being down a car. It's super frustrating, and I always get a little rage-y when we are down a car, too. I never go anywhere (thanks social anxiety) but I hate the option of being able to leave if I want to taken from me.

xwhyandz · September 2019

@duck_duck_goose same! I usually spend most of my time at home but I had a routine of going to the gym a couple times a week and I just started teaching yoga at 2 new places and two classes about 45 minutes away from home so it feels so disempowering. It’s especially hard to be hindered and still say “but don’t you wanna have a baby?” as if everything is so “ready” for us to add more responsibility lol.

@ivyvines6 therapy has been a life changing experience for me in the last year and change. I’ve been in and out for the last 11 years but I have a therapist that is a great fit for me and even when I deal with people that are really triggering I find comfort in knowing that I can count on my therapist to be there for me and help me decompress and keep moving towards my wellness. I’m glad you took the leap to take care of yourself!

@thesquidsmom your self care routine inspired a self care page in my bujo. It’s silly that I would not choose to be extra nice to myself especially if I’m feeling down but I’m hoping I can start to add a few things here and there. It’s really beautiful that you do that for yourself!

HeartOverMind · September 2019

When do you think you will start TTC? I'm not sure. My DH and I have talked about baby #4 on and off, and we are kinda NTNP at the moment, I guess. I'd like to not be pregnant for my 30th bday, which is November 2019. I'd be open to TTC any time after that. Also, I'm BFing my 16 month-old, and I haven't started my first PPP yet, but I have been spotting a lot. I'm thinking the return of my fertility may be around the corner, so I have been really thinking about TTC and planning for another pregnancy/baby.

What brings you to WRW? I'm new here, so I just thought I'd jump right in. I've been on TB for other pregnancies, and I was also on TK way back in the day. I stumbled across this forum, as I feel that this is the stage I am in right now. We aren't TTC yet, but I definitely have babies on the brain.

Any R/R? Rant: People suck at driving. I spent six hours driving on Saturday, and my trip to the conference was uneventful and relaxing. But on the way home, some idiot was left lane cruising. I went to pass him in the right lane (which I shouldn't have had to do), and as I was about to pass him he started getting into the right lane. I don't think he looked or ever saw me. I had to swerve into the shoulder to avoid him and then there were giant orange cones on the shoulder that I had to avoid hitting. I almost lost control of my car. I was so pissed. But, other than my shot nerves, no harm or damage.

Rave: The conference that I went to on Saturday was the Birth Without Fear conference in St. Louis. It was amazing!! January Harshe (the author and creator of the BWF community) is an amazing person. I had a difficult birth with my youngest, and that was the reason I went to this gathering. I got to talk out some feelings I have held on to, and I felt heard and supported by the other women around me. It was amazing!

GTKY: What is your favorite season? I like all the seasons for different reasons, but if I had to pick one, Fall. Cooler weather, cozy clothes, outdoor activities that I actually enjoy, and Thanksgiving.

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@xwhyandz I was wondering where you'd gone off to! Looks like your potential TTC date has moved up! WAHOO! I'm so sorry you and your SO have been having communication issues. It's always really hard when you have your "flow" with your partner and then things just get out of whack. It totally throws me in every area - even if there's no real "issue" with us, sometimes I just feel like we fall out sync or something, idk hard to explain but I feel you. I hope once the car situation gets sorted you get back on track with each other. I also feel you on being carless. For the first like, two years of our relationship, I relied SOLELY on DH for transportation and then the mega long bus ride and it was just awful. You feel like you don't have any independence.

But oh my goodness how exciting about getting married!!!! Is this a new engagement or has the planning just started? Either way, congratulations!! I've heard bullet journals are really helpful - did you draw all that?! What talent!! I think you're the first that has said summer is their fave season! I always felt weird growing up because every kid in school loved summer and I was always a fall fanatic. I do love the longer days though but blech humidity

ETA: **TW**
Ladies, I've just met my 5 week old nephew over the weekend and oh my goodness am I in love. I still want to wait but craaaap it's made the baby fever worse. I asked DH if it made him more excited at all and he said nope -__-

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@HeartOverMind welcome! sounds like this is the perfect place for you. We're all in the same boat with wanting a/another LO but life isn't ready yet for reasons. Holy cow re: that driver! I have suuuuch bad road rage so even reading that made my blood boil for you

glad you're okay! What's BWF? I will be a FTM when my time comes so I've never heard of this.I'm glad you got so much out of the conference!

xwhyandz · September 2019

@jackie_dunny oh it feels so nice to be missed thank you! I’m soooo excited about TTC date moving up. I’m really grateful that my partner and I have been able to talk more about our fears/goals/concerns and figure out a way to make it work. We had been talking about getting married for quite some time, honestly we both had sort of a shared vision about our first dance very early on so when he proposed it was very casual and more so a continuation of the ongoing conversation about being together for the long run. We set the date and then it became very real and overwhelming. I had to sort through A LOT of aches and emotional wounds from issues in the past with family members. We’re mostly on the other side of that and happily planning a minimal but really magical evening.

Yes I did do the drawings! Thank you! It’s gotten a lot better over the last monthish I’ve been practicing

Good news! The car is up and running better than before and I’m so grateful to have that independence back. @HeartOverMind I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Drivers are pretty crazy in my area of Florida, I often compare it to Mad Max Fury Road lol.

HeartOverMind · September 2019

jackie_dunny said:

@HeartOverMind welcome! sounds like this is the perfect place for you. We're all in the same boat with wanting a/another LO but life isn't ready yet for reasons. Holy cow re: that driver! I have suuuuch bad road rage so even reading that made my blood boil for you glad you're okay! What's BWF? I will be a FTM when my time comes so I've never heard of this.I'm glad you got so much out of the conference!

@jackie_dunny Thanks! BWF is Birth Without Fear. It started off as a Facebook community and a blog, the community grew so much. The creator, January Harshe, wrote a book (also called Birth Without Fear), and she has been travelling for seven years around the US, Canada, and Australia to talk to women and create a space for women to come and unpack some things about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood in general. My description does not do the whole experience justice, but I definitely recommend following Birth Without Fear and reading the book. I am reading it for the first time, and it has already brought tears to my eyes and gave me a lot of peace as I think about adding another baby to our family, having a VBAC, and being brave and strong about the things that I want.

duck_duck_goose · September 2019

@xwhyandz girl I feel you on the "are we ready to add on more responsibility" feeling. But I am so happy to hear your car is up and running again!

@HeartOverMind ohh I am gonna have to look into the blog and facebook community. Birth doesn't scare me so much anymore. I am as comfortable with the process as one can be when they are pushing a giant ass baby out of their birth canal (or so I tell myself when I am begging someone to take the baby out of my body while staring longingly at the oxytocin at work 😂). MH on the other other hand, not so much. It scares the crap out of him. Is there certain talks or parts of the blog that address SOs might have with the fears they feel with birth?

jackie_dunny · September 2019

@xwhyandz oh I'm so happy for you! I'm glad things are really starting to look up for you

@HeartOverMind hmm, do you think it's worth reading before even TTC? Sounds like a read to add to the list further along in my journey

HeartOverMind · September 2019

duck_duck_goose said:

@xwhyandz girl I feel you on the "are we ready to add on more responsibility" feeling. But I am so happy to hear your car is up and running again!

@HeartOverMind ohh I am gonna have to look into the blog and facebook community. Birth doesn't scare me so much anymore. I am as comfortable with the process as one can be when they are pushing a giant ass baby out of their birth canal (or so I tell myself when I am begging someone to take the baby out of my body while staring longingly at the oxytocin at work 😂). MH on the other other hand, not so much. It scares the crap out of him. Is there certain talks or parts of the blog that address SOs might have with the fears they feel with birth?

@duck_duck_goose
I haven't finished reading the book, but in every section, the author's husband writes a partner's perspective. It's really awesome. I think that would be helpful to your SO.

WRW September 2019

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