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August FTM Check-in 😎🌴

mc0303mc0303 member
in November 2019 Moms
Hey pregnant people!!

How’s everything going? Feeling pumped, nervous, excited? Have any burning questions? Feeling overwhelmed or just chill?
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Re: August FTM Check-in 😎🌴

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    mc0303mc0303 member
    I can start! I’m 100 days from my due date and starting to feel so anxious and excited!

    I can’t wait to meet my little dude, but I feel like I’ve done nothing to prepare...still have to update our insurance, workout leave with my company, line of child care next year, think about L&D 😱...its making me feel so overwhelmed!

    At the same time, I am BEYOND excited to meet baby!! I love feeling him kick...even if it hurts 😒. I’m feeling some many happy hormones towards him 🤗
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    blg116blg116 member
    I have done nothing financially responsible to prepare for this baby.
    And I'm stressing hard right now because I have a few job position options. One is GUARANTEED day shift if I get it, the one I just got is "good chance" of staying on days, plus slightly higher pay. I just started this job (monday, even though technically I got the job 2 and a half months ago), I hate to leave so soon, but at the same time I'm 3 days into training and picked it up quick so I'm bored already. I've done the other job, and while I dont love it, it's not terrible, and it's a guaranteed 630am-3pm daily. 

    On the plus side, babys room is coming together! We got a crib from my SIL, we had a dresser and bookshelf that were perfect kid size in our spare room, we've managed to pick some really nice brand new stuff up for dirt cheap off a local auction site (halo bassinet for $80, boppy pillow for $3). So at least it looks like we're ready for a kid 😂
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    alaluapalaluap member
    @mc0303 there's still plenty of time! I haven't yet worked my 600 hours to be eligible for mat leave! We'll get there (and even if we don't, baby will still come and still be loved!)

    @angieeeeee that sounds like quite the dilemma! You sound waay more prepared than me in terms of the nursery - you'd never know to look at my house that we're expecting! 

    This weekend my husband is drywalling the nursery with his dad and I'm going to paint some furniture. I'm hoping not to have to go to work, but it's looking like I'll have to on Sunday.
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    Lark2013Lark2013 member
    We have three things for baby so far: a onesie that I bought from a second hand store, a musical otter, and the crib - which we can't set up because the company didn't send the proper number of screws... And my baby shower is in just over a month and I only started doing registry stuff last night... kinda freaking out.  Babies need so much stuff!  And at the same time, there is so much stuff out there that they don't really need!  The biggest things worrying me right now are the stroller, car seat, and reusable diapers.  There are so many options and I need DH to help me decide, but he's not really into it.  He knows it needs to get done, but isn't as stressed about it as I am ("We've got time, all the kid really needs is us") - I don't think he understands how long it's going to take to figure out what we both like.
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    kopp5988kopp5988 member
    We haven’t really done much to prepare yet either. We picked up the crib last weekend but it sitting unassembled in the guest room that will become the nursery because all the guest room furniture is still in there 🤦🏼‍♀️ There are also a ton of projects I wanted to get finished around the house before baby comes and out of nowhere we’re down to 13 weeks left! What?!?  I am loving the kicks and am excited to be feeling them more and more though can’t help but get nervous when I don’t feel them for a while. 
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    mc0303mc0303 member
    @kopp5988 ugh I am the same way with the kicks! I’m trying so hard not to obsess, but I definitely freaked out the other because I couldn’t remember the last time he kicked. 

    Im actually hoping to keep a lot of guest room stuff for now...since baby will be in our room for the first few months and I’m hoping my mom will stay with me for a few weeks. 
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    blg116blg116 member
    I won't remember feeling a kick for a while and start getting nervous, and then he'll stomp on my bladder. While I appreciate the "hey I'm here", could it be a little less horrible please?? Like a kick out would be nicer, one of those fun ones I can see. 
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    mc0303mc0303 member
    @angieeeeee I’m right there with you! I really don’t like the jabs at my bladder 😒 

    I actually get so weirded out by the rolling ones... feels so bizarre! But I also love feeling that he’s there 😍
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    blg116blg116 member
    Anyone elses family/friends driving them crazy with baby shower or registry questions?? Everyone keeps asking me about a baby shower and what my plans are. Um, I'm not planning anything, y'all need to ask my SIL cause shes the one in charge of this crap. And I have no idea what I need for a kid, so my registry is pretty bare lol
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    runningfortwo81runningfortwo81 member
    @angieeeeee A friend pointed me to Lucie's List to figure out registry and it was super helpful! Definitely go look at some things in person (for us, strollers/car seats, pack n plays, cribs, carriers were things we wanted to see) but this website helped make it much less overwhelming to get started. 

    Although so far everyone is giving us cute outfits instead of registry things...lol.

    https://www.lucieslist.com/baby-registry-basics/
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    mc0303mc0303 member
    @angieeeeee @runningfortwo81 I used Lucie’s list a lot! MH and I bought our stroller and car seat already after a ton of research. 

    I ended up putting my my crib on my registry...felt weird about it...but someone bought it! 😭 I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. 


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    blg116blg116 member
    I have stuff like a car seat and stroller on the registry, which I really struggled with cause that stuff is expensive. Definitely don't expect anyone to buy them, but we're going for the completion discount. 

    Just trying to figure out the smaller items that aren't all clothes. Things people can actually buy and I won't  feel bad that they spent too much. 
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    natehknatehk member
    Hi all.  I put a mix of stuff on my registry.  I don’t expect people to buy the expensive stuff (mostly did it for the completion discount).  I also use the registry as a place to keep track of what I want to get - I found lucies list to be a great resource - as well as baby bargains (it’s a book and a website)
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    cl4157cl4157 member
    We put a decent mix on the registry- not just infant stuff either. Really went up through the first year and even included the bigger size car seat for when we are out of the infant carrier. Our families are far away and we wanted to give them the opportunity to buy whatever they wanted to.
    However, I did purchase the stroller and infant seat and extra base for hubs car myself because I have no self control. So since the biggest, most expensive things were out of the way, we didn’t feel bad putting extra “gift” things on the registry. 
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    edited August 2019
    My SIL is great and saved all her stuff from her kids and so I have way more than I imagined. She gave us clothes, a changing table, swing and some other stuff. The thing I’m really worried about is stuff like a stroller, diapers and a car seat.

    DH keeps buying things that he wants because “when the baby comes we won’t have any money” which I didn’t mind at first but now I’m stressing cause he’s bought two gaming systems and neither one was cheap. I just feel like we should be saving more than spending rn. 
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    blg116blg116 member
    We keep buying baby stuff. We'll specifically say when we go out "no baby stuff" and then before we know it, we're in the baby section and have a bunch of crap. Mostly clothes. They're so cute and we have no self control! I'm just glad MH is as bad as I am 😂
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    Okay does anyone else feel like they have no idea what they’re doing? Or like you’re just being a pansy about stuff? This past week I’ve been talking to some other pregnant women (some of which are FTM) and they’re like “yeah I’m due in a week but I’m doing great” and “I haven’t had any trouble adjusting to pregnancy” but then I struggle to even get off the couch some days. And sometimes its just cause I physically can’t get off the couch without help. Am I being a wuss or are there others who struggle? 
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    mc0303mc0303 member
    @emmac99 You’re not a wuss! All pregnancies and people are different. Some lucky women feel perfectly fine all the time. Others don’t! Doesn’t make you a wuss! I feel similarly that sometimes my body just won’t cooperate and feel exhausted and it hurts to roll over or bend down. You’re doing great! Try to avoid comparing your experience to other women’s...it’ll drive you crazy 😜 
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    @mc0303 thanks. Honestly sometimes I just need reminded of that.
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    @mc0303 thanks. Honestly sometimes I just need reminded of that.
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    @mc0303 thanks. Honestly sometimes I just need reminded of that.
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    @mc0303 thanks. Honestly sometimes I just need reminded of that.
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    emmac99emmac99 member
    @mc0303 thanks. Honestly sometimes I just need reminded of that.
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    cl4157cl4157 member
    edited August 2019
    @emmac99 girl. Also...don’t forget that most people won’t be tell you “yes I know I look fantastic today but yesterday I scream cried at my partner for x” 
    There’s no comparison in pregnancy- every person is different and will interpret their feelings and symptoms differently even if they are the same! I have great days where i do a cycling class, eat lentils for lunch and meet my friends for yoga. Sometimes, I snack on carbs(read: trash) all day and ignore my responsibilities because I’m too hot to stand up. 
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    blg116blg116 member
    I got home from work yesterday, took an hour and a half nap, showered, laid back down, and did not move from 6-9pm. In the dark and silence. And the only reason I got up was to go get myself burger king. Came home, ate, went back to sleep. 

    Sometimes your pregnant self just doesn't want to adult. It happens.
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    alwayseloquentalwayseloquent member
    I feel like every single day is different. Some days I have more energy than I am allowed to spend (my doctors say I try to do too much...) and other days I am curled up on the couch and I try not to text my husband in the basement to come upstairs and bring me the remote I forgot...on the other side of the sectional on which I am sitting. Pathetic, I know. I go through waves of excitement (can't wait to hold our baby boy!) and dread (I had a hysterical breakdown when the head of my firm told me he'd changed his mind about letting me work from home...now we have to figure out daycare or a nanny and that makes me nauseous).
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    runningfortwo81runningfortwo81 member
    @alwayseloquent He changed his mind??!?!? Omg how stressful. He belongs in the TW thread. 
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    cl4157cl4157 member
    @alwayseloquent nooo. What a huge bummer. Maybe they will consider once/twice a week? I work from home and I’m already having a hard time finding the hours I will need/want with daycares. They all want full time commitment/prices and the part time ones just don’t seem to be the same quality. 
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    alwayseloquentalwayseloquent member
    @runningfortwo81 yep, he sure did. It boiled down to the fact that I am too productive to work from home and it would cost too much to give me everything I need (i.e. faxing, scanning, printing, and mailing capabilities on the scale I do). Silly, huh?

    @cl4157 he mentioned possibly letting me do 1 day a week at home if my doctors put me on restrictions, but I don't know if it will continue after the baby. I hope it does! We are hoping to possibly split a nanny with some good friends of ours who are in need of new childcare options for their 1-year-old daughter soon. Hopefully everything works out for all of us - you too!
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    blg116blg116 member
    @alwayseloquent I would have had a breakdown if my boss told me he changed his mind on something like that, pregnant or not. You plan everything around work schedules, and for them to just change their mind is crap. Especially when the reasoning is basically "you're a really good employee, so we're just gonna go ahead and screw you over". My boss recently told me I'll be going back to swing shift after my maternity leave (technically the job I took is a swing position, but I've been on days for 3 weeks now and I was told I'd more than likely stay there). That was a week and a half ago and I still have not spoken to him beyond him telling me my monday off got approved, because I'm still mad and know I'll lose it. And normally we get along really well, so I know he knows I'm upset. I hardly acknowledge him unless I have to. 

    @emmac99 you're doing just fine, dont compare yourself to anyone else! You're growing a human, you're allowed to have days where you just dont do anything (luckily MH reminds me of this every time I start getting down on myself for not getting things done). And even the people who seem like they've got it together probably really don't. Kinda like life in general. 
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    alwayseloquentalwayseloquent member
    @angieeeeee believe me, I TOTALLY had a meltdown... It was probably the biggest meltdown I've had this entire pregnancy. Not only were we counting on it financially (as in not having to do daycare or hire a nanny), but I was SO looking forward to spending all of this time with our little man. We went through so much to get him and the thought of now having to let someone else spend all this time with him makes me so sad and frustrated. I'm sorry you're having issues at work, too. This is an intense, exciting, stressful time in our lives and it's not fair or healthy for them to spring things like this... It sucks, to say the least!!! 
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    blg116blg116 member
    @alwayseloquent employers suck. They expect you to bend to what they want and deal with short notice changes, but you want so much as a day off and you need to give it in writing like 4 weeks prior and still not be guaranteed to get it. I hate it. I hope your boss figures realizes what a dick move that is and can work something out with you and then actually stick to it. I think I'm gonna try to talk to my boss this week about the swing shift thing and see what can be worked out- we were counting on it for the same reasons as you: no baby sitter since MH works swing also and plans on continuing with that, so the opposite schedules would be perfect. In top of the fact that I despise working swing, I've hated it for the year I did it at my current job and i hated the 3 years I did it at my old job. 

    Uggghhh, working for a living sucks. 
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    alwayseloquentalwayseloquent member
    @angieeeeee it really does!!!

    I had an appointment today with the other OB in my office since my regular doctor is out on vacation. I have never cared for her bedside manner much, but I didnt have a choice. This is the first time I've seen her this entire pregnancy even though I used to see her as my GYN before I chose the other doctor in the practice. It wasn't a fun visit. She complained that I was HER patient (I officially switched doctors three years before I got pregnant when she didn't believe me when I told her there was a problem and I wasn't conceiving - I ended up with a PCOS diagnosis and needed IVF to conceive) and should have seen her sooner. She didn't ask any of the other questions my usual doctor asks (how are you feeling, any complaints, any questions, etc.). She did have me fill out a new questionnaire before she saw me. I didn't know what it was and it seemed pretty innocuous, like how are you feeling emotionally and physically. I felt a little tricked when she "graded" it right in front of me and told me I scored a 14 and high risk for postpartum depression is 12 or higher. Since I am apparently already at risk she wanted to prescribe me meds. I pumped the brakes and didn't want to do anything until I speak to my regular doctor. If he genuinely feels I would benefit (and he knows me better), then I will look into it. I was really taken aback by the experience. I don't  know what to expect all the time because I am a FTM. I wonder if this is just normal screening when you hit 28 weeks?
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    rogro118rogro118 member
    @alwayseloquent I’ve never heard of a screening like that.  I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad idea, especially since quality postpartum care is so sadly undermined in our healthcare system, but the delivery of it definitely seems off.  I wouldn’t like a doctor jumping right into meds when you really don’t know how you’ll feel.  There is so much that plays into pp depression and anxiety, including your delivery and support system, so I’d advise to definitely talk to your own doctor about it m, but put an emphasis on  preventative measures, what to be on the lookout for, and devise a plan of action if something does seem seriously off in the time before your six week checkup after birth.  Especially after going through IVF and all of the emotions that go with that rollercoaster of a journey, I know that I myself feel more susceptible to depression or anxiety already, but everyone’s experience is so different.  I think it is most important to be the judge of that yourself and just be self-aware of your mental state now and going forward and know when to ask for help if need be.  I’m now curious if anyone else has had a screening like that 🤔
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    soldierblessingsoldierblessing member
    edited September 2019
    @alwayseloquent I had to do that screening at least 2x. It’s standard... but prescribing meds is not. Good for you for standing your ground about talking to your regular doctor.

    aside from that i am nervous... I am a ftm (of course) with my rainbow baby...but in week 24 I got “confirmation” on my cvs  results that my baby had a genetic disorder for Prader Willi... only in the last week (week 30) have I come to terms with it... is there another forum for the mothers that know they are pregnant with a baby that has a genetic disorder?
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