TTCAL w/o 8/12

emeraldduchess · August 2019

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Cake or pie?

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 MMC 2/19, and 6/19

Status: WFIVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Well IVF starts this week! Last BCP is tomorrow, Meds come Wed, Baseline is Fri and Stims start on Saturday! I am both excited and terrified. I am really trying to go into this with positivity and hope but part of me is also trying to be guarded cause I know this isn't a guarantee or anything. We don't know why I kept losing babies so we don't know IVF will turn out any differently.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Baseline on Fri

GTKY: Cake or pie?

Definitely cake. With all the chocolate please. My mom and I were actually discussing cake recently and she said something about chocolate lava cake being too much chocolate and I was like, umm no such thing mother.

ruby696 · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I meant to comment on this in the IVF thread... I am so with you on the egg quality issue. It's so hard to be hopeful with IVF when I feel like there's a good chance they won't get any quality eggs. But hopefully the meds do what they're supposed to do and it's not an issue for either of us. ❤

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

2 MMC's, one BO, and 3 CP's. Last CP July 2019.

Status: Starting IVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have a blood test on Friday and another US next Tuesday.

GTKY: Cake or pie? Pie, all the way. I'm not big on most frosting. Although my inner child still loves a cupcake made from boxed yellow cake mix and Betty Crocker chocolate frosting.

emeraldduchess · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Miscarriage at 5 weeks December '18, CP July '19

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? My would-be due date is next week and there is no rainbow baby on the way for us yet. This is really hard for me to accept right now. I am considering sharing about our losses via social media on our empty due date, but I don't know if that's a good idea. I may wait until October.

TW:LC mentioned

DH's family has their annual cookout next weekend. I decided I am not going. There are several toddlers and 2 newborns in the family and there is no way I can sit there and pretend to be ok.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Our karyotyping came back normal, all my RPL testing has been normal. We are seeing the RE on Thursday to review those results and regroup. I don't know if she will order more tests.

GTKY: Cake or pie? Team pie! I like cake but if I am given the choice, I pick pie. For some reason I always feel regret after eating cake. Maybe it's the heavy frosting?

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I am so excited for you!!! I am also sorry about the stress of this not working out!!! I believing this is going to be it for you!!! ❤️

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.- 2014 and 2019 miscarried

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I had a great weekend! Cleaned my house and watched lots of movies. I also ovulated on Friday (according to OPKs). I am a little stressed about this! I find myself day dreaming about the possibilities , but then reminding myself that just because you get a positive test does not mean a baby is guaranteed. This whole process is so hard. I also started progesterone this cycle... I am trying not to be mean! I find myself getting irritated easily which is not who I am as a person. 🙁

Any testing coming up/any recent results?no

GTKY: Cake or pie? Can we have both! 😀

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@ruby696 It's such a struggle between being so hopeful and so guarded from past experiences. But Fx so hard for both of us! I'm glad we can at least go through it around the same time.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Thank you, I hope so. And I hear you on the conflicted feelings over getting a positive. It sucks that we can't just immediately be happy like some other people who have never had to go through this. Fx the progesterone helps!

@emeraldduchess I'm sorry you have your would be due date coming up and that you don't have better news by that time. I do hope you get a good plan from your RE appt! And I am with you on being unsure of when/how to share the struggle. I have almost posted several times about my losses but haven't been able to pull the trigger yet.

ruby696 · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I keep reminding myself that even a positive test after IVF is only half the battle. I still need to get through 10ish weeks. It's really hard to explain that to my mom, who helped pay for IVF and has no idea about my loss history. She thinks I'm just being pessimistic. *sigh*

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Fx so hard for you this cycle! Sending you all the positive thoughts.

@emeraldduchess I was trying to remember which BMB we previously shared - now I know it's August. I'm sorry you're still here. It's such a struggle when that one year mark passes. Sending hugs. ❤

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@ruby696 and @emeraldduchess I am sorry I didn’t rely to y’all earlier. We must have posted at the same time.

@ruby696 I am so excited for you!!! I hope IVF is the trick and you get your take home baby! I know your journey has been so heartbreaking! Praying 🙏

@emeraldduchess I don’t blame you one bit for not going to DH’s family cookout! No one understands this pain unless they go through it! Take care of yourself!!! I hope you and your RE can develop a plan you feel comfortable with.

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@ruby696 Yeah its so hard. Getting a positive test is just one step. And people that haven’t been there just don’t get it. But if it helps we get it. ❤️

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@ruby696 you're absolutely correct that yellow cake/chocolate frosting combo is the best.

I'm sorry we're both still here, too.

It blows that we're all here.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls sorry the progesterone is making you feel snippy. I didn't have the mood-swing side effect last time but I am worried about that in the future. That positive test/no guarantee comment is so, so real. That's what I hate most about loss. It robs you of that joy when the second line pops up.

@hanshotfirst77 I think I will most likely post something during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I feel like by then I will feel ready to share.

splashmountain · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 @ruby696 I have everything crossed for you ladies. I hope that everything goes smothly for you both through your ivf journey and I pray that you both get your take home babies.

@emeralddutchess I just went through my empty edd without a rainbow baby in sight last month, so girl, I feel your pain. I will be thinking of you and sending hugs.

@mamaof2beautifulgirls having a loss really sucks all the joy out of it, doesn't it? Normal people are excited while we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. FX for this cycle, my friend.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. nmc 12/16, cp 7/18

Status: wto

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I just finished reading the "is he faking it" post. It was pretty damn entertaining, but I do want to say that even though I've only been active on this board for a short time, I've lurked ttgp for years and have seen, time and time again, just how supportive the people on this board are.

And in other news, we bought a new truck. I wanted an SUV, but DH found his dream truck and it was a killer deal **eyeroll** as soon as this beast is paid off, I'm getting an SUV lol. It is a pretty truck though... hahaa

Any testing coming up/any recent results? 10 days until the RE

GTKY: Cake or pie? apple pie all the way. Although I could change my mind for a lemon pound cake....drool

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@splashmountain yes! The people on this board are amazing! I was rolling in the floor over that post! 😂 Also I think it is really supportive of you to agree for your H to get a truck. I hope the next ten days go by quick for the RE!!!

bluetickgal · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MC at 7 weeks in 1/19 and at 5 weeks in 8/19

Status: in limbo, although I’m pretty sure I’ll be benched this cycle.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Doing ok, all things considered. MC is now over, it started late last Monday and I quit spotting Sunday. I’m hurt and angry, but having the RE appt. to look forward to is helping me to be more optimistic.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

First RE appt. is this Thursday. I called yesterday morning to see if DH could do his SA that day...waiting to hear back for sure (they are booked, but may be able to work him in). Hopefully we can also get some BW testing started then as well.

GTKY: Cake or pie? Both! I agree with @hanshotfirst77 there is no such thing as too much chocolate! ☺️ Although I need to know where cheesecake falls, because that’s my absolute favorite!! It’s shaped like a pie, but has the word cake in it?!

@hanshotfirst77 yay for IVF starting! I get the mixed emotions, but I’m so hoping this will be it for you!!

@ruby696 woohoo for your IVF starting too!! I have everything crossed that this will be it! That is so true about the positive test only being half the battle!

@emeraldduchess I’m so sorry your would-be due date is next week and you don’t have the good news you were hoping for! Sending hugs!! Mine is at the end of this month, and I know for sure I won’t have that good news either now! I totally get not wanting to go to the cookout next weekend! Maybe you can do something fun, just for yourself during it!

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls glad you had a good weekend!! I totally get you on the positive test not guaranteeing a baby...we couldn’t even really be excited this past time because we were so afraid of a repeat from before, which unfortunately is what we got. Sorry the progesterone is affecting you, but hopefully it’s also helping!

@splashmountain that’s nice your DH got a truck, sorry you didn’t get your SUV though! Hopefully you can get one soon! Hope the time flies by before your RE appt.

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@bluetickgal they will probably do a round of bloodwork at your first RE appointment, so be prepared (drink plenty of water). They took about 8 tubes of blood from me. They checked my thyroid function, tested for STDs, and confirmed my blood type with that first blood draw. They will probably also suggest some basic genetic screening. Since you've had two losses the RE may order some RPL testing (although I doubt they'll take all that blood at one time).

@splashmountain thank you. 💚 I was naively assuming that I'd be expecting our rainbow well before now. It seems like friends and family who I know had losses were all KU again within 3 months. I should have realized that's not how it always goes.

splashmountain · August 2019

@bluetickgal I'm glad you finally have your RE appt this week, I'll be patiently waiting for your update on how it went since my first RE appt is next Thursday. I hope that they can get you some answers and a take home baby

@emeraldduchess I naively assumed I wouldn't have a second loss, but things don't always work out which totally sucks for us. I hope that you get ku with your rainbow soon 😊

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@bluetickgal again I am so sorry for the second loss. I totally understand the hurt and anger. I still have times I am really angry too! I am glad you feel good about going to the RE. It helped me knowing I had some kind of plan in place.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@emeraldduchess thanks for the heads up! I had to check all the testing I was ok with on my initial bloodwork, good to know they'll likely get that out of the way (or at least started) at this appointment! Good tip on drinking lots of water, that’s a lot of vials!! I remember your bruising story, hopefully I don’t have a similar experience. I have good veins for giving blood (which I get told every time), so that normally helps me. I’m definitely wanting the RPL testing...I’m honestly afraid to try and get pregnant again until that is done and we hopefully can get some answers. I know there is a chance it will all be unexplained even after the testing, but I’m hoping they find something that can be fixed fairly easily (so weird hoping for something to actually be wrong).

@splashmountain thank you!! Yes, it’s crazy how far out these appts. get scheduled, I’m so happy ours is finally here! Hopefully the next week flies by for you to go to yours too!

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls thanks so much! I’m not normally an angry/negative person either...so I don’t like this feeling, but I guess it’s just part of the grieving process! I’m glad working with an RE gave you some peace of mind too...hopefully this is your cycle!

shamrocandroll · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I am excited for you! I really hope IVF gives you the edge you need.

@ruby696 I'm also really excited for you! I also love that several of you are all going through this together and have each other for support. Also, I've mentioned I don't like cake, but for some reason I love a good cupcake. I think it's the cake to frosting ratio, plus they usually tend to be higher quality than just run-of-the-mill cake.

@emeraldduchess I 100% feel you on the empty due date with no pregnancy yet. My first one was in June, and we have another one in October. I hope to be KU by then. I think after all of this is done, if I get my rainbow baby, I will probably share our story. But I don't think I'm ready before then because I don't want everyone asking me about it constantly when I don't know what the future holds yet.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls I LOL'd at "I am trying not to be mean!" Hopefully this does the trick for you!

@splashmountain That post was so entertaining! This community is amazing and no one will ever convince me otherwise. Congrats on the the truck!

@bluetickgal I'm really sorry again for your loss. Best of luck at your RE appt tomorrow! And FX YH can get his SA in!

shamrocandroll · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC at 10w Nov '18, Early loss at 5w in Feb '19.

Status: About to go into TWW. Just waiting for CH.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Our marathon SMEP session has officially ended and I am exhausted! We started HIO EOD on CD 8, and I didn't O until CD26! That's the latest I've ever O'd in a non-AL cycle. I'm nervous because it changed so drastically, but also optimistic because our timing was 👌

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Probably holding out on POAS until next Friday

GTKY: Cake or pie? 100% pie. I've shared on here that I don't like cake, but I loooove a good pie. I just don't like the super sweet frosting on cake. I do love apple spice cake in the fall, but that has no frosting. For some strange reason, I do like cupcakes. I think because they're usually made in an artisan kind of way, and the cake to frosting ratio is much better.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@shamrocandroll thanks! It’s not looking good for the SA tomorrow...I called the scheduler again this morning because they called to confirm our regular appt. and actually told us they had an appt. an hour earlier due to cancellations...so I wanted to see if there was an even earlier SA appt. Apparently they are booked solid all day, but she said she’d call this afternoon if anything changed...why are SA’s so popular tomorrow?! Haha. We may just see about getting the cup and having him do it at home for me to take in since it’s closer to my work...I think he would prefer that anyways! That’s so awesome you were able to rally and get great timing for O!! I’ve got everything crossed for you that this is your cycle!!

ottergirl81 · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 FX for IVF! So exciting that its getting underway. Good luck!

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Yay to the clean house! That was on my list too and still is. I understand and feel the same way about the positive test having no guarantee of a baby. If I get a positive again, I don't know if I will be overly excited about it until I reach the third trimester ( if that happens I should say).

@splashmountain yay new truck! Hope it gets paid off soon so you can get what you want!

@bluetickgal yup, both cake and pie! Where would cheesecake fall? That is a good question!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP Nov'18 and CP July '19

Status:WTO but think I will bench myself this cycle until things are a little more back to normal.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Struggling with waiting on appointments to be booked, but I am going to start calling people to start getting things done. Also am wishing I had real internet. I do right now as I type this and it is way easier to scroll and respond to posts on the site this way on a real computer and not just a smart phone.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing yet, but hope there are some things happening soon.

GTKY: Cake or pie? Really like cake and pie. So, both? I love food in general and having seen the words cake and pie, I am now very hungry for both!

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@ottergirl81 totally understand the self benching. I benched us until we found out what was going on with the RE. It’s painful to wait but I think worth it. I just didn’t want to have another loss and think I didn’t do everything I could to prevent it.

@shamrocandroll fx this is your cycle!!!

@bluetickgal sorry about H not getting his testing done. I know that is so frustrating!!!

gh1219 · August 2019

Hi all, gab here. Early mc July '19

Status: tww

Feeling okay, optimistic about TTC again. Struggling with work motivation this week, however looking forward to seeing my family over the weekend.

Cake!!

splashmountain · August 2019

@ottergirl81 good luck getting all your appointments lined up.

@bluetickgal thinking of you today. GL at the RE 😊

bluetickgal · August 2019

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls thanks...it is frustrating, but I should have called sooner about it. We will getting it scheduled one way or another at the appt. today!

@splashmountain thanks so much!

@gh1219 sorry for your loss! This is a wonderfully supportive community though! Glad you are optimistic about trying again and that you have a family weekend to look forward to!

**Edited to add missed tag.

TTCAL w/o 8/12

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