Pregnant after IF

PAIF- New Mommies July/August 2019

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Re: PAIF- New Mommies July/August 2019

  • @wildrainbow OMG!!! Congratulations!  Wow, a condom and bc, and previous history of IF and still became pregnant? I think this bean was meant to be! You must be so excited! Hope to follow your footsteps in the next couple of months!

    Thanks ladies for your suggestions on disciplining. I entered ‘positive’ in the amazon search box and the top choice was positive discipline. Does Amazon know that my son is a troublemaker? 
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
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  • Ladies, any recommendations on large diaper backpacks? I currently have SkipHop's Forma backpack and I like it but I'm looking for something bigger than that, and something with a few more pockets. I feel like I have to carry a ton of stuff whenever we go out on weekends, right now we carry a large cooler box for his food and a diaper bag and preferably if we can pack all that into one bag, that'll make our life so much easier.
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • I have the bag nation one from Amazon and it's friggin yuge!  Not sure how big the skip hop one is, but I'm pretty sure it's bigger.  Lots of pockets, I just try to somehow load it heavier to the back, bc otherwise it tips forward which I find annoying lol. But I mainly got it so DH would have no qualms about carrying it for me and it 10/10 is great for that! 😆 @cashewchicken

    OMG @wildrainbow. Congratulations!!!  Everything crossed for you on Monday.... ❤️ 

    Sorry I've been kinda MIA.  It's been hard for me to participate a bit since we were effectively benched from tfas by my Ob for VBAC spacing reasons.  Really a bummer bc we legit could be getting ready to transfer this cycle, and instead we are waiting for a second opinion.... Sigh.  We took another hospital tour today tho, and she mentioned a third midwifery practice I hadn't considered, so that's nice to have another good recommendation.  I guess I just have to trust that when the timing is right, it will happen   so... That's where we're at.

    But S is doing great. 10+ mos. and I'm officially not buying any more 12m clothes.  I just hope her 18m winter coat will last us through the season! 😧 Not sure I'd be able to size it up from last season at this point, so fx...  Getting excited about planning her birthday party in earnest next weekend, too!!!!  OMG.  I can't even handle it.  Seriously, she's the greatest.
  • @BusinessWife time is flying by! I haven’t even begun to buy winter stuff yet and need to check our bins to see what hand me down some my sister gave and if any of it will fit. 

    I need to vent...we are gearing up to start trying for a second and have our RE consult Friday. I had to get a new OBGYN bc mine moved to a director role. I adored her and she went through IVF and totally got it. She also coded a lot of things so that insurance would cover it (like for my Pcos or just diagnostic stuff) since we have 50% coverage for everything EXCEPT IVF (grrr). Which meant last time all my bloodwork, most of my meds, etc were either covered or really cheap. This time with my new Dr, I even have to pay for day 3 labwork! I think I got spoiled last time and have to prepare myself to either fight every little thing or just suck it up and fork out the $$. 
  • @BusinessWife I have the bag nation one too! And thank you. I'm a little nervous.

    @cashewchicken Seriously, the bag nation bag is awesome! I use it for both boys and it holds everything I need just fine, plus my stuff since i dont carry a purse.  It has a lifetime warranty.  Mine has been in heavy use since Matthew was born and still looks brand new.  I seriously love it.
  • @BusinessWife and @wildrainbow Thanks for your endorsements on the Bag Nation bag! I was looking at that, but it's hard to tell how big it is (I suppose I can bust out a ruler and compare...) Nice to know you guys love the bag. Definitely on the top of my list of bags to checkout.
    @BusinessWife How long do you have to wait for VBAC?
    It's hard to buy clothes for babies, especially buying seasonal items like coats and short-sleeved clothes ahead of time. But I find that babies don't grow as fast from 9 months on, compared to the first 9 months. My son started wearing the 12-month size at 9 months and is just sizing out at 16 months (but he is small, at 15 percentile growth). He used to size out of his clothes due to his Buddha belly, chunky arms and legs but he kinda lost some baby fat when he started walking and he was able to wear the 12-mo size a lot longer than we expected.
    @mtpbadger That is annoying. I remember at my old RE clinic, they gave me a 30% discount for any services not covered by insurance. I guess it was a discount they passed on to me for them avoiding any insurance-related paperwork? Maybe you can ask if your clinic offers any discount?
    @wildrainbow How did the appointment go?
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • **THIS WHOLE POST IS A TW**

    I just got off the phone with my dr. I've had another loss. This makes number 6. I was just getting used to idea that I was pg. It still sucks and it hasn't gotten any easier even tho I should be a "pro" at receiving this news. Now, I'm just going to eat my feelings. 
  • I'm so sorry @wildrainbow
    I know how devastating losses, especially when it was a surprise pregnancy, can be. Feel all the feels and take care of yourself. We are all here to support you through rants and tears, I don't think anyone becomes a pro at gettiong bad news; we just become more used to it but it still hurts all the same.
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!

    TTC #2
    January/Feb 2021 - Freeze-all IVF cycle 
    March 2021 - FET of 1 PGS normal female embryo. BFP! Beta #1 156,  #2 472, #3 1241, #4 5268 EDD 12/5/21 - Christmas baby!


    "When all is lost then all is found."


  • @wildrainbow I’m so sorry for your loss. 
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • @wildrainbow I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • @wildrainbow. I'm so very sorry.  It really doesn't get any easier. (((Hugs)))
  • @wildrainbow so sorry for the loss. 
  • @wildrainbow how you holding up, love?

    @cashewchicken. Well my original ob was recommending 24 months between deliveries.  At the expense of wasting an entire year of if coverage without making another transfer, which I'm not sure I'm prepared to do.  (In the letter the RE requested, the Ob kind of left it up to me, but made it all sound very dangerous and, "proceed at your own risk," to transfer sooner) Vs. the second opinion I got today seems to think we could be totally good to go!  So I suppose it just leaves that much more for DH and I to discuss...
  • @BusinessWife I am ok. I am starting to cramp, so I think my first PP period combined with loss is about to start and I'm already dreading it. I'm not looking forward to it and I hope it all holds off until DH gets back in town so he can take point on the kids. 

    I started a blog, and it's been pretty cathartic. Since I'm not on social media, it is a way for me to get my story out there and bring awareness to IF and loss. Who knows, maybe my story will give someone the courage to speak up, or just pursue treatment and answers. 
  • @wildrainbow that sucks, but I'm glad you've found blogging helpful!  Feel free to pm me a link so I can check it out.  Is YH back yet?

    *Tw* loss talk

    <div class=" Spoiler">I've just had the one loss so far, a CP after our first FET, and even that I remember being a horrible experience, physically.  Ugh.  As if the emotional piece isn't hard enough. :( (((Hugs)))</div>

  • @BusinessWife
    I think 24 months seems a little excessive; my OB just thinks 12-18 is sufficient for the body to recover and rejuvenate. If you had a smooth first pregnancy, I think I would be even less concerned about the spacing. Mostly you worry about recovering fully from any complications and returning the body to a "normal" state. Historically concerns about spacing of pregnancies mostly had to do with the elevated risks of developing anemia or other complications because the body wasn't able to recover fully after the first pregnancy before entering the second. Generally, though, once you've had a PP cycle, you can consider your body sufficiently recovered. 

    @wildrainbow
    I keep a personal tumblr where I often make posts about my journey or the IF journey in general and I found it really helpful to get things off of my chest. I found a whole subculture of TTC/IF blogs on tumblr and was able to reach out to give support/share my thoughts which felt really awesome. I hope you get the same kind of comfort from your blog! 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!

    TTC #2
    January/Feb 2021 - Freeze-all IVF cycle 
    March 2021 - FET of 1 PGS normal female embryo. BFP! Beta #1 156,  #2 472, #3 1241, #4 5268 EDD 12/5/21 - Christmas baby!


    "When all is lost then all is found."


  • @mbradfo2 thanks for that!  Yeah and I mean, considering I got mine at 5w PP, it's been a looooong time coming!!!  :D
  • cashewchickencashewchicken member
    edited August 2019
    @wildrainbow I’m glad you’ve found blogging helpful. I don’t blog nor am I active in social media, but I find discussing IF on boards like TB helpful. It’s difficult for me to discuss IF IRL as most everyone I know don’t have fertility issues (at least not openly admitted and/or discussed). 

    @mbradfo2 and @BusinessWife The 24-mo recommendation is likely due to VBAC and not due to anemia or any other pregnancy complications. I think there is a small risk of uterine rupture during delivery if the uterus was not given enough time to recover post c-section. And apparently not all c-sections are equal and if you’ve had a classical incision (more likely if you’ve had an emergency c-section), then VBAC is not recommended. I found a site that calculates your chances of a successful VBAC:
    https://mfmunetwork.bsc.gwu.edu/PublicBSC/MFMU/VGBirthCalc/vagbirth.html
    I was wondering whether I should try for VBAC too, as vaginal birth would be a shorter hospital stay and easier recovery. I’ve never been apart from my son so spending 3-4 days in the hospital and several weeks at home recovering from surgery aren’t ideal. That said the reason for my c-section was because my pelvis was too narrow and my son did not descend at all so the chances of a successful VBAC for me seems low. All I know is I don’t want to labor for 30+ hours, push for 3 hours only to have a c-section again. 

    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • @cashewchicken. Right, there are different factors at play when considering VBAC, but the 24 month spacing is still considered highly conservative and not necessarily much safer at 24+ mos vs. 18mos.  Talk to your doctor!  I am seriously hoping for a VBAC for lots of reasons, but it's very personal
  • @BusinessWife Oh yeah, it seems like at least 18 months is recommended for VBAC, so 24 months is a conservative recommendation. Just wanted to chime in to say that less than 18 months may pose a risk of uterine rupture, though the likelihood is quite low.
    My RE has the 18-month rule between pregnancies but I don’t think that has anything to do with VBAC, just following recommendations from CDC to minimize the risk of pregnancy complications and autism. If there’s a high chance of a successful VBAC I’d consider it. Between narrow pelvis and gestational diabetes, odds aren’t good. 
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • @wildrainbow so very sorry for your loss! Such an emotional rollercoaster! Sending extra hugs ur way.  

    Going to check out the disvipline suggestions...been a bit MIA as I have to hide my phone from my hold who is attached to my hip so it gets tough! Sounds like everyone is having a great summer.

    im sitting here doing loads of laundry for the next shift of weather and size, it’s amazing having all this stuff and this single mama needs it!  But omg its so overwhelming too! 
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

  • @cashewchicken for the narrow pelvis and large baby combination, it's actually something that isn't a guaranteed to happen and need a c-section. Subsequent pregnancies can cause your pelvic opening to widen more than it did the first time. Sometimes it's due to your pelvis not returning to the same starting point. It also depends on the size of the baby's head. Was it in a high percentile or close to average? If it was high, probability suggests another baby could be a smaller size, but you really never know.

    At the end of the day, if you're cleared for a vbac, you can always give it a shot and decide earlier in labor that it's not working. 
  • @cashewchicken I'm shooting for a vbac after the twins, if it works we will be looking at a late May/early June. It'll be 2.5 years since my c-section for the twins. If its on the table I just can't see not trying. Recovering from another c-section while dealing with a toddler (2, in my case) doesn't seem ideal at all. Nothing says you have to decide now though. : ) It can be a much more fluid decision based on your individual circumstances.
  • @stella_700 amazing ur ready to go again, hoe many will you be transferring? 
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

  • @stella_700. Congratulations!!!  Are you saying what I think you're saying....???
  • @businesswife and @Hopeful_mom Our transfer (just one this time!!!) is scheduled for the 9th of September, if my lining/bw look right. I'm ready to complete our family and knowing I turned 40 this year means we both wanted to get a move on it. Three will complete us so fingers crossed. :)
  • Eep!  That is coming up so soon!  How exciting! @stella_700. Fx your lining and everything else cooperates for you. :)
  • @persnickity Thanks for your comment about not doomed to have a c-section again. My son’s head was average. But I just remembered that he was in the “sunny-side up” position and multiple attempts to turn his head failed. That probably have played a part in stalled labor, as it took 8 hours to go from 7cm to 10cm dilation and 3 hours of pushing did not move him at all. Maybe if the next baby is in a position better suited for vaginal delivery, my pelvis size and baby’s average head size won’t be problematic. 

    @stella_700 Wow your FET is coming up soon! Hoping for a sticky bean! I feel the same way. Recovery from a c-section is rough and having to deal with that while caring for a newborn and a two year old seems like a nightmare. I’m hoping to transfer in a couple of months. If all goes well, my son will be 2 years and 4 months.
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
  • edited August 2019
    I'm no expert @cashewchicken but that sounds pretty favorable to me!  I had a very similar experience that the baby was not Sunny side, but sideways and wouldn't come down all the way / rotate into a better position.  The fact that you got to 10cm means your body has already done that part before!!!  Yay!!!  Seriously, that is huge.  People have been telling me the same thing, since we got to 8.5cm, the body will "remember" having done it before.

    Now I also had a big baby, so part of my pregnancy management will be only very controlled / limited weight gain, if at all possible (15-20 lbs) But YMMV.  Since I'm starting out heavyish again, depending on how much more I'm able to lose now prior to getting KU.  I lost the pregnancy weight and then some (down 50 lbs basically from my top KU weight), but there's still a long way to go as far as two and a half years of IF weight :(. But it is what it is.  That's part of what we need to <i>weigh</i>, how much we are willing to put moving in with our lives on hold over the scale, vs. just get on with it already lol. You'll know what to do. ETA fx it goes beautifully for you next time, if you decide to go for it! 
  • @cashewchicken that does sound very favorable! Since you got to 10, your body was able to fully dialate. It sounds like positioning instead of size was the likely reason you needed the c-section. There are things that you can do to help get the baby positioned better and things you can do to slightly open your pelvis more. 
  • @BusinessWife and @persnickity I'm encouraged by your comments. I will definitely keep an open mind about VBAC, I still have a plenty of time to think about it, anyway.
    Me: 41  DH: 46
    Unexplained infertility/AMA, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    FET#1(July 2017): eSET of first of 4 PGS-normal embryos, DS born 3/30/2018
    FET#2(Oct/Nov 2019): eSET  
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