TTCAL week of 8/5

emeraldduchess · August 2019

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why?

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 MMC's, 2/19 and 6/19

Status: WFIVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Well on the positive side we are moved into the new house! And so far loving it!

Also found out late last week that IVF is moving forward. Started 2nd round of BC yesterday. Should get my protocol and meds ordered today! Saline Sono on Wed!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Saline Sono Wed

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why?

I work in IT. Currently I am in Tech Support for a company that makes time clocks, and HR/Time and a attendance software. I do mostly the software/database side of things. I like it but I won't say I love it. It pays the bills and most times it is interesting. But often I feel like the guys on the "IT crowd" Have you tried turning it off and on again? lol

I love working with computers, but If I could start over I'd probably go into teaching.

shamrocandroll · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Yay for being moved in!!! And for moving forward with IVF!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC in Nov '18. Early loss in Feb '19

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Still feeling optimistic, but also discouraged at the same time. I just want to go back to feeling normal again. TW: PG

A really good friend is KU and told me last week. She's had a loss in the past, and knows all about mine, and I know she probably tormented herself about when/how to tell me. Her H ended up telling us. I just want to go back to feeling 100% happy for others and not sorry for myself.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just trying to make it through this FW. OPKs galore.

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why? I am a reliability engineer. Basically I break stuff. I design tests for our products and test them in a lab before they get released to our customers. I really love my job and my company, but sometimes I yearn for something different. I'm just not sure what that is. Something that would allow me to live here 6 months/year and somewhere warmer 6 months/ year would be great, haha!

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@shamrocandroll I'm sorry for the tough announcement. I struggle with this a lot too. I wish it was easier to just be happy for them. Hugs

bluetickgal · August 2019

I’ve been gone a little less than a week, but I’m back. Hope it’s ok for me to jump back in here.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MC at 7 weeks in 01/19 and CP(?) in 08/19

Status: in limbo

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Not so great. Just waiting for the 2nd nightmare this year to be over. **TW (pregnancy/loss) in spoiler:

I got a positive test last Wednesday...it was super faint at 16DPO, so I was nervous that was a bad sign. We were trying to be optimistic though. I turned a digital that afternoon, so that made me feel better...but I still had major anxiety. I had HCG/progesterone test done that same day and it confirmed I was pregnant. I had a second draw on Friday and then as soon as I got home, I started spotting...which pretty much confirmed our fears (although I tried to stay optimistic, that faded as I continued to spot through the weekend)! Just talked to the nurse this morning, and she confirmed my numbers went down Friday and I just have to wait for my body to do it’s thing. This waiting is brutal!! My DH said that he is more mad than hurt this time, but I have a whole lot of hurt right now too...anger is definitely there though! IF/loss is just so dang unfair!! I hate that all of us here have gone through this and understand this hurt!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Will have HCG testing again in a week, and possibly be seen at the end of the week if my body doesn’t do what it needs to by then (hoping I don’t need a D&C). We have our first appt. with the RE next Thursday (so glad I didn’t cancel it, something told me that would not be a good idea).

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why?

I’m an internal auditor for an insurance company, which oddly enough I really enjoy...but I would probably go into teaching or social work. I considered both when I was younger, but went a more practical route (studied accounting) instead of a more passionate route. I don’t know that I would be the best at either though (especially with social work, I don’t know that I could disconnect once I left work), so I feel like I’m actually in the best job for me.

@hanshotfirst77 so glad the move went well and the ball is rolling on your IVF journey! That is so exciting!! Good luck with your saline sono!

@shamrocandroll I totally understand...it’s hard to be 100% happy for someone else without feeling a little hurt/sorry for yourself! I also hope to get there one day! Also, your job sounds super interesting!

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 good luck with your saline sono on Wednesday!

@shamrocandroll I totally get how you feel about wanting to be in a place where you can feel 100% happy for others. Hugs.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Early miscarriage at 5 weeks in December, CP in July

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am doing pretty well this week considering my would-be due date is coming up in 2 weeks. I had a busy weekend which included going to see Shakespeare on the Common with a friend and that was really fun. It's nice to relax on Boston Common with a picnic and watch some classic theater.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? DH's karyotyping came back normal, we're still waiting for mine.

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why?

I am an elementary school teacher, so I teach all the things to the mini humans. I also try to teach them how to be decent human beings, which is a bigger challenge than teaching math. I do enjoy what I do but I often wish I had a job with a bit more freedom and a (much) bigger paycheck. It's tough bringing your work home with you and spending your nights and weekends grading. Only being able to travel during school break is hard on the wallet, too. I'm not sure if I would be good at anything else, though!

Edit: wasn't done

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@bluetickgal I'm so sorry you are going through another loss. It is so unfair. Fx you can move forward soon and for the RE appt!

@emeraldduchess Sending you big hugs for your would be due date coming up. I'm sure I will be a hot mess when mine comes up in Sept.

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@bluetickgal I am so, so sorry. Almost the same thing happened to me last month. Super-faint line, positive blood test but low numbers, spotting and then AF a few days later. It's completely unfair and sucks so, so much. Sending you all the hugs.

shamrocandroll · August 2019

@bluetickgal I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Big hugs.

@emeraldduchess Glad to hear you are doing well. I handled my would-be due date better than I thought I would, but it still varies day by day. Be kind to yourself.

Also, I have so much admiration for teachers. Thank you for doing what you do!

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. miscarried September 2014 and April 2019.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Trying to stay positive and focused! Going back to work is kicking my tail! I am a little bit worried about predicting my ovulation. I am reading about when and how to test and I am like HOW am I going to do this teaching! 🙃

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why?

I am a special education teacher! I ❤️ My job! It is such a privilege working with my student/children! I Hate the politics! If I changed careers I would stay with my Sped Students but focus on something different like become an occupational therapist or behavioral counseling.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 @shamrocandroll thank you so much!!

@emeraldduchess thank you!! We actually have very similar timelines with our losses. I hate that you’ve just been through the same thing, but it gives me hope that my body will do what it needs to as well. It took 10 weeks for my cycle to return the last time, hoping it will be much sooner this time since it happened earlier. Hope your would-be due date isn’t too difficult! Your weekend sounds awesome!!

shamrocandroll · August 2019

@bluetickgal If it helps, my cycle after my MMC was longer than my cycle after my early loss. I hope it goes back to normal quickly for you!

bluetickgal · August 2019

@shamrocandroll thank you, that does help...hopefully it will be similar for me. Before, I was bummed I was going to be mid-cycle for my RE appointment & have a wasted cycle, now I have no clue where I’ll be! Hopefully they can do RPL testing now though, and that will help for the future.

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@bluetickgal both my losses were before 6 weeks so my body went back to normal very quickly. Last month with my CP, I probably wouldn't have known I was pg if I hadn't taken a test at 12dpo. AF arrived 16dpo and then I O'ed around CD20/21 which is my norm. I would definitely push for RPL testing if your RE doesn't bring it up. My RE ordered the tests right away because she considers 2 losses in a row to be RPL. I'm also over 35, so that was another factor.

You're right that our stories are very similar, right down to a pre-scheduled RE appointment right after my CP.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@emeraldduchess I was 5 weeks this past Saturday, and my prior MC was at 7 weeks...so hopefully that makes a difference. I’m glad your cycle went back to normal quickly and your RE did the RPL testing after 2. We actually asked the OB if there was any testing we could do after the first loss, and she said she doesn’t do any until after 2 (and other docs in the practice don’t until after 3)! I’m hoping our RE is of the same mindset to do after 2...I don’t want to have to go through this again and not have any answers if it could possibly be prevented. I’m 33, so not too far below the 35-mark. That’s crazy how closely our stories align, down to the RE appt! Hopefully our success stories are right around the corner too!

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@bluetickgal your RE might be inclined to do the testing because they screen for proteins in your blood that affect your ability to maintain a pregnancy. No one should have to go through 3 losses in a row before docs start looking for answers.

ruby696 · August 2019

@bluetickgal I'm so sorry. That's what happened to me in July. Sending love ❤❤

bluetickgal · August 2019

@emeraldduchess I agree, going through 2 is hard enough! Hopefully we get some answers soon and it is a fixable issue.

@ruby696 thanks so much!! It’s so unfair so many of us have been through this!

tyrion_ · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Early loss May 2019

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

I had so much fun this weekend getting away with my friends. But of course I can’t even keep my anxiety quiet enough to peacefully drink. Every drink I had, I questioned if “this might mess something up.” When I was tipsy I felt guilty that I let myself drink when I was about to ovulate.

I pushed those negative thoughts away as best I could and I now keep reminding myself that I didn’t mess up my eggs or anything else from one day of drinking. I wish my rational voice was a little louder than my anxious one.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? None. Just dipping a whole lot of OPKs.

GTKY: Skipping this one. My old and current occupation are both triggering.

I’ll be back later for tags but really quick just want to hug @bluetickgal and send you healing vibes. I am so sorry you’re back. This is incredibly unfair.

NYTino24 · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. NMC at 7w6d in Jan 2017, NMC / BO June 2019

Status: WTO / TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R

I think I ovulated on CD 12, which is 3 days earlier than ever since I started charting 3 years ago. The things that make it hard is I think my newer Wondfos are defective and I didn’t get to temp this morning because DH needed me to move my car at 5:15 this morning... so we will see after a few more days of temps.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? RE appointment Thursday

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why? Teacher - wouldn’t change it!

bluetickgal · August 2019

@tyrion_ thank you, I definitely appreciate it!! I understand the anxiety, but I’m sure you didn’t mess anything up! Glad you had a good weekend with friends!

@NYTino24 hopefully you get a clear picture with your temps in the next few days!

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls sorry I missed your post earlier, looks like we posted at the exact same time! Hopefully you can figure out the ovulation tests with work thing and it won’t stress you out too much!

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls can't believe you're back to work already! I tested during the school day all last year. Not the easiest thing ever, but it's doable. I always tested during either my morning prep time or lunch.

@tyrion_ I definitely understand what it like to have you anxious voice be louder than your rational one! Glad you had a nice weekend. Drink anything really good?

@NYTino24 ugh, sorry about all the frustration trying to confirm O.

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

I am sorry I am so late replying to everyone. Yesterday was busy...

@bluetickgal I had wonder where you were last week. I am so sorry for your recent loss. It breaks my heart so much. I hope your RE can figure out what is going on. It is such a traumatic process and so unfair. Be kind to yourself and take the time you need.

@emeraldduchess I can’t believe I am back at work too! 😭 I am glad your DH’s karyotyping (probably didn’t spell that right 🤣) came back normal. I also hope the progesterone is helping. I will start that as well after I ovulate.

@hanshotfirst77 I am glad to see you back this week! Yay for moving in your house and a big YAY for moving forward with IVF!

@tyrion_ I wouldn’t worry about the drinking! I thought the same thing the other day when I was having a drink, but I think everything has to be in moderation. I keep telling myself to only have one cup of coffee but I keep going back for another cup! 😂

@NYTino24 I am sorry about the confusing ovulation. I am worried about mine too. At first I worried I was ovulating too late. Now I got a blinking smiley yesterday and I am like it is too early?!!? I am coming to that place that it is what it is...

Hope everyone has a great day!!!❤️❤️❤️

dumbledoredies · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC 2016, MMC 6/2019

Status: Still WFAF? I don't know. I had been spotting since the MMC and then a few days ago started actually bleeding again. I thought it might be AF but it didn't last long (less then 1 day) before returning to the spotting again. I have a really light AF though.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm just really ready for this spotting/random bleeding to stop. Last week I thought it had finally stopped. I ran to the pet store and as I was driving there could feel myself start to bleed lightly again. I'm an idiot and didnt have anything with me so I had to run into target to get some emergency tampons. Then I'm walking through target trying not to cry because this is all so effed up and unfair and I just want my body to get its crap together so I can start trying again. Other then that life is going good. I took a week off from social media last week (which is why I wasn't around) and focused on positivity and being present IRL.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why? *TW* I'm currently a SAHM to MS *end TW* but before that I worked in accounting. I hated it. I went to school for Finance and had planned on doing financial planning/advising but once I graduated we were ready to start TTC so I stayed where I was at rather then starting a career somewhere. I really want to have a career one day though but I'll probably have to go back to school. I couldnt stand sitting at a desk all day so I'm thinking maybe nursing? My only drawback with nursing is the possibility that I would have to work some holidays. I wish I could find my passion.

I'll be back later to catch up on everything!

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@tyrion_ I'm glad you got to get away for a little bit, try not to be too hard on yourself.

@NYTino24 Sorry about the confusing cycle, but Fx for you and for your RE appt!

@dumbledoredies Waiting for AF post loss is the worst. I am sorry you are dealing with it. With my first MMC it took about 5.5 weeks to get AF. This last one was a little different cause my RE put me on BC once my hcg was low enough so we wouldn't have to wait for my AF but with the complications for my D&C it's taken even longer to get back to TTC albeit this time it's IVF so that's a little different. But all that to say it sucks waiting to start again and I hope you get AF soon so you can move forward!

tyrion_ · August 2019

I did not come back. I started watching OITNB and got sucked in.

@hanshotfirst77 I’m glad the move went well and you’re all settled. I’m excited IVF is moving forward for you. Good luck tomorrow!

@shamrocandroll I have everything crossed for you this cycle! And creepy internet hugs. Here’s hoping you can get back to “ normal” feelings soon. But don’t beat yourself up, you’ve been through a lot.

@emeraldduchess What is Shakespeare on the common? I’ll be thinking of you over the next two weeks.

@NYTino24 Sorry you missed a temp. No one should ever be awake at 5:15. And I think I’m also dealing with a surprise early O. Sorry things are so confusing.

@dumbledoredies I really hope your body cuts you A break. This is beyond cruel.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Sorry work is rough right now. Hope you’re able to get back into the swing of things quickly. And let us know how you figure out how to test during the day!

Edit: grammar. Yikes!

emeraldduchess · August 2019

@tyrion_ Shakespeare on the Common is done for a few weeks every summer in Boston on the Common (our version of NYC's Central Park). The Commonwealth Shakespeare Company puts on a different Shakespeare play every year. It's a professional production and totally free to the public!

@dumbledoredies I am so, so sorry your body is so messed up right now. It's completely unfair. Hugs to you.

tyrion_ · August 2019

@emeraldduchess Wow, that’s really cool!

splashmountain · August 2019

Dang this board is hopping, I'll be back later to tag everyone.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Nmc 12/16, cp 07/18

Status: tww, but temp drop this am so af due any time

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant: I've been a bitter emotional wreck lately. I have a my 1st RE appt this month and 3 days later I have my SIL's baby shower. Rave: We just got back from a trip to the coast, the weather was 65-70 and perfect. And then we came home to 104 lol. Here's a picture from our favorite beach

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/04/a9wijbbvkuif.jpg

Any testing coming up/any recent results? RE on 8/22

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why? I work as a scheduler for the radiology department at our local hospital. For the most part, I enjoy my job, but I would like to do something where I work from home. I love crafting, baking, cooking, writing, basically I want to be a blogger or something like that.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls thanks!! I actually took a sick day today...and DH stayed home with me. MC started last night, so I’m happy to be home through (hopefully) the worst of it today!

@dumbledoredies so sorry your body is being confusing about AF! Hope you get some clarity soon! I’ve cut back on my social media usage recently, and I think it definitely makes me happier!

@splashmountain sorry for the bitterness, I totally get it though! Hope your RE appt goes well, and good luck with the shower! The weather on the coast sounds perfect, sorry you had to return to torturous temps though!

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · August 2019

@splashmountain that picture of the beach is gorgeous!!! I am sorry about AF showing up, RE, and SIL’s shower. This whole process is so unfair. I know I say that a lot, but my heart just gets so sad for everyone. I, myself, have to fight from being sad and bitter all the time. Hugs!!!

@dumbledoredies I am so sorry about the continuous bleeding. I hope and pray it stops soon as your body can get back to normal so you can have some peace.

@bluetickgal I am glad you can be at home during this difficult time and DH is there with you for support. ❤️

@tyrion_ I think I am just going to have to test at home! It’s just too much for work! 😂

NYTino24 · August 2019

I don't get to check in on a laptop often, but man is it so much easier to do tags and read!

@dumbledoredies Ugh, that's so frustrating! AF was always a surprise for me growing up since no one taught me about temping and I was irregular. I'm sure it's really hard to not know what's going on.
@hanshotfirst77 Did you have the sono yet? If so, how did it go? Glad you're loving the new house!
@shamrocandroll That's tough. I just saw your July siggy and it's hilarious!
@bluetickgal I'm sorry you're going through it again. I also felt more (delayed) anger the second time vs sadness the first time. I regret cancelling my June RE appointment, so I am glad you still have yours.
@emeraldduchess DDA are so tough. I wish we could just skip them. I hope you also get good news about the genetic testing.
@tyrion_ Anxiety is such a B. If it makes you feel any better, it can take like 3 months to see any affect on eggs or sperm.
@splashmountain What a beautiful place. It's nice to have a peaceful beach to go to during such an emotional time.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@NYTino24 thank you!! Yeah, the emotions are definitely different this time around...even with having the major fear that it might happen again, it’s different when it actually happens. Were you able to make another RE appt. at least?

NYTino24 · August 2019

@bluetickgal Yes, it's actually on Thursday.

bluetickgal · August 2019

@NYTino24 🤦🏼‍♀️ So sorry, I see that in your original post now! Hope all goes well at that!

hanshotfirst77 · August 2019

@NYTino24 Not yet, it's tomorrow afternoon! I will for sure come back and update you guys.

ottergirl81 · August 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP Nov. '18 and CP July '19.

Status: Still WFAF to come back

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Things are ok. Been very emotional and moody, hoping that means AF is near. Last time it came back as if I was still on a regular cycle, if thats the case it should be here next week. On a better note, I've been able to clean and organize my house finally since our move last October!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

No testing yet. Results from ladt weeks U/S showed nothing unusul except for a small uterine fibroid. Could that be whats causing the CPs? Don't know for sure yet.

GTKY: What do you do for a living? If you could have a different career, what would it be and why? ****TW***** I am a SAHM to my DD, who has a couple of challenges. She eats by a feeding tube in her stomach. Long story. ****end TW*****

If I had a career outside the home, I think I would like to own a restaurant or a bakery or be a veternarian because I love animals!

Will tag soon, pretty busy today.

splashmountain · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 that's so exciting that things are moving forward with ivf!

@shamrocandroll I totally get it with not being able to just be hapoy for others. I'm the same way with my brother and SIL. They've had 2 losses of their own and I'm so happy for them right now, but so damn sad for myself. Hugs

@bluetickgal I'm so sorry for your recent loss. Sending lots of hugs.

@emeraldduchess sorry to hear about the upcoming due date, those are hard. Try to stay busy, that always helps me

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls gl with the opks. My first cycle using them was intimidating, but it's honestly easier than you think. And yes, this whole process is mentally draining.

@tyrion_ I'm sorry your anxiety wouldn't let you completely enjoy your trip.

@NYTino24 that sucks about the wondfos. Hopefully temps can clear up your o date

@dumbledoredies I'm sorry your body is being a dick. I hope that it starts to get its act together soon.

splashmountain · August 2019

@ottergirl81 I'm sorry you've been emotional lately, I can relate. Owning a bakery would be fun! My sister and I talk about doing that all the time

ottergirl81 · August 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Yay to the new house! Glad to hear you're enjoying it. And yay to IVF moving along! Sending positive vibes your way.
@shamrocandroll working 6 months somewhere warm and then 6 months back home when its nice would be amazing. For me I would just have to move somewhere nice and warm, we only get maybe 2 nice warm months here normally, lol. Sorry about your having to deal with the SIL. Its tough being happy for someone on the outside while on the inside you're dying. I know the feeling.
@bluetickgal So sorry for your loss. As @emeraldduchess had said, I had the faint line too, the low numbers and then the bleeding. I know the feeling and hope that soon things are back on track for you.
@tyrion_ Nice to hear you had a nice weekend away and that you tried your best not to worry about how much fun you had;)
@dumbledoredies Sorry to hear the bleeding still hasn't stopped. Really am hoping things get better for you really soon!
@splashmountain gorgeous beach photo! Am hoping theres still time this summer for some of that. I've thought about the idea of a blogger, still might give it a try one of these days. Need real internet first though!

bluetickgal · August 2019

@splashmountain thanks so much!!

@ottergirl81 thank you!! Hopefully AF is near for you! And yay for getting the house cleaned/organized...that’s always a good feeling.

TTCAL week of 8/5

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