Any single moms or unplanned blessings?

fallonpartyfor2 · August 2019

Hi there, I’m a soon-to-be single mother to this unplanned blessing! My boyfriend and I have been together 5 months and I’m 11 weeks and 3 days today. He is a great person but is 100% not ready to be a father, where as I was ready to be a mom the moment that stick said I was pregnant.

I know The Bump has a handful of threads for single moms, but I would love to start one here for moms going through the same ups and downs associated with our due date!

robynlynn2000 · August 2019

Sometimes I feel like a single mom lol. I know thats not the same, but I dont always have the support i need from my husband when it comes to taking care of things around the house. And we definitely do not agree 100% on how to raise our kids. I recently was able to transfer to first shift but we went 3.5 years with him on first and me on second. At times we both felt like single parents. Anyways I saw you havent had any replies and I didnt want you to feel alone. And congratulations on your unexpected joy. Im sure your bf will come around as you get farther along.

malloryfrommn · August 2019

I'm not a single Mom, but I know plenty of them. It's a tough road, that is for sure, but not a single one regrets their journey. I respect and admire your determination to be a Mom, whether or not Dad is ready. I can already tell you are going to be a fantastic Mom! ❤

Wishing you the best during this journey. You will find this group to be of great support, even if we can't relate 100% to your experiences. I'd love to get to know you more, and hope to see your updates on the weekly boards 😊

DDRRT1982 · August 2019

I am not a single mom anymore, but I was for a time there. It was rough at times, but parenting can be in general. I am glad you are here and I hope we can support you on your journey.

rikiteacup · August 2019

@fallonpartyfor2 Can I ask how old you guys are? I bet it's a shock for him since being a dad wasn't on his radar at all. I hope he comes around. It's still early, it probably doesn't seem real yet.

ibabyloveb87 · August 2019

I’ll +1 to what @rikiteacup said. It’s harder for a dad-to-be to grasp the concept of a baby early, especially when they haven’t had it on their radar. Our first was planned and it still didn’t really click for my H until he could feel kicks. I do hope he comes around, but I’m sure you’ll be a fabulous, loving mom either way!

fallonpartyfor2 · August 2019

@rikiteacup and @ibabyloveb87, I'm 28 and dad-to-be is going to be 31 soon. Luckily, I have a huge support system and very supportive family or else I don't know how I would be managing! I agree with what @rikiteacup
said about it being early, I don't think it's hit dad that this is real yet... maybe once I start showing it'll be real for him!

raspberrycustard · August 2019

@fallonpartyfor2 I'd be so grateful for support! My partner was excited intially for our baby and then some how, lost his mind and accused me of carrying another man's baby. I've spent the last three years dedicating my life to him, so now we aren't together and damn, is it painful. I live in a foreign country away from my family and his family have attacked me based on these lies.

It's not really the dream I hoped it would be but I just feel like now is not the time to break down, I couldn't be more in love with the idea of becoming a mother. I'm in my mid 30s, have the means to support myself so I'm trying to embrace every silver lining possible.... Now if only I could catch a break from all this crying!? Those first trimester feels are rocking.

jvk2012 · August 2019

@raspberrycustard I am so sorry you are dealing with that!

raspberrycustard · August 2019

Thankyou! Gosh it's hard to see the forest from the trees but it's so helpful to hear and read the experiences of others, makes me feel less alone.

sassypants2010 · August 2019

Not a single mom but this babe is definitely unplanned. Good luck to all the single moms in here, my friends that have done solo parenting say it is both the greatest and hardest thing they have ever done.

doodleoodle · August 2019

@raspberrycustard I’m so sorry you’re being disrespected in that way! Do you want him in the baby’s life at all? If not, I totally understand and I wouldn’t push it any further. If you do, or are okay with the idea of it, I’d get paternity testing done so that he has to pay child support.

raspberrycustard · August 2019

@doodledoodle it would be ideal to have my baby's father around, but not for my own good. Frankly I don't really care if he pays child support or not, I'm quite self sufficient - if I have the means, I'd rather not allow him the leverage. The irony of getting paternity testing, he would certainly know he's the father then! I believe he knows full well that I'd never betray him, he's just trying to make himself a victim in the face of responsibility. Emotional intelligence is not his strong suit.

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