@ktmaesim I kid you not that someone has already bought four, FOUR random ass things for us instead of what’s on our registry. I don’t want to come off as rude either but...I didn’t ask for that bc we don’t need it. I’ll be returning a lot I think.
@lilyrheas I’ve gotten excited about it but I have horrible social anxiety. One of the reasons we’re doing co-ed is to take some of the attention off me. And I’m with you on the uncomfortableness of having others buy items that you could just buy yourself. It’s weird to me that I’m an adult asking people to foot the bill for my child?
@ktmaesim love the invite! i think random/off registry stuff happens more when people know the sex b/c they want to buy cute girl clothes, or boy stuff. whereas people don't find the neutral stuff as "fun".
@k_mama91 It's so frustrating, I actually want some good gifts, I am a FTM and we need literally everything, and I never had a proper bridal shower bc we got married SUPER quick..so I kind of want this to be a big deal. IT's the worst when you can't even return the random item they gifted you bc they didn't give a receipt. I've put a lot of thought into our registry and only put on the stuff I think we will really use and need, so I put a disclosure on it thats basically like " BUY ME THE STUFF I WANT PLZ" And I am with you about taking the attention off yourself, I dont like it all on me, so happy we're doing co-ed.
Yes I also feel really weird about getting gifts. I also know I am in better financial shape than pretty much all of my friends and so I feel guilty when they spend money on me when I know they have debt to take care of and less income etc.
i feel like my last weekly random verged on an UO - but i don't feel guilty about a shower/registry at all. almost all of the people on our list so far i've bought wedding and/or baby gifts for - i view it just as my turn now, even though yes, we could wrangle everything ourselves. basically the shower is a rite of passage.
@anniemarie887 I agree iwth there being nothing wrong with a registry as long as it hits different price points for all people attending the shower. Other than my SIL 50 washcloths everything else was like $100+ on her registry! There where no other price points which I found selfish. Myself and a mutual friend were so offended that we both went off the registry. I still ordered from buy buy baby and sent a gift receipt. And I went practical with the gifts with things they just didn't have like muslin swaddle blankets, and a couple items for when baby is older and starting to transition to solids.
@ashorkey I concur with @ktmaesim. That is nuts. You definitely need to hit all price points, I just looked through my mess of a start of a registry to make sure I wasn’t being a contradictory a-hole.
Meh. I don’t see the horror in going off registry. It’s supposed to be a guideline, not a bible. At the end of the day, a gift is just that ... a gift. It’s supposed to be based on a person’s kindness and generosity, not a list of demands. Yeah, it’s not ideal if you have to return something (or regift if there’s no receipt), but I’m not really on board with the recent trend of dictating what people can give as gifts. But then again, I’m definitely on the older side of moms here (40), and this isn’t my first rodeo, so it’s possible it’s an age thing and I’m just a old fat curmudgeon.
I decided to make two registries. One is on Babylist and it's for me to keep track of the bigger items my husband and I plan to buy; this one is hidden. Then I made a Target registry to share with my shower guests, and everything on there is under $50. I felt awkward about showing my guests the the more expensive items we want, as if they'd think I expected someone to buy those for me.
If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. But clearly that person was never taught that. And furthermore i have back fat so it looks like I’m slouching. So thanks for pointing it out.
Also maybe more an unpopular opinion, but i actually also hate it when people say “you’re not even showing!” or “you’re so small for X months!”
They might be trying to give a compliment (because ALL women just want to hear that they’re small above all else 😡??!) but a) it’s not true, and b) it feels like they’re saying I’m not really pregnant/weirdly makes me feel paranoid that I’m not growing fast enough.
My takeaway: the best/only thing to say when you find out someone is pregnant is “You look beautiful. How are you feeling?”
Also maybe more an unpopular opinion, but i actually also hate it when people say “you’re not even showing!” or “you’re so small for X months!”
They might be trying to give a compliment (because ALL women just want to hear that they’re small above all else 😡??!) but a) it’s not true, and b) it feels like they’re saying I’m not really pregnant/weirdly makes me feel paranoid that I’m not growing fast enough.
My takeaway: the best/only thing to say when you find out someone is pregnant is “You look beautiful. How are you feeling?”
Amen!! I agree completely. The person before my person said you look beautiful as always. And that made my day.
@midgerose86 I don’t understand people’s need to comment, close family and friends are an exception, sometimes. I remember when I was pregnant with my first how when I was close to being due, I had several patients ask me if I was sure there was just one in there, WTF! I wasn’t tiny by any means, but I wasn’t huge.
anyone else still dealing with morning sickness? Mine has not went away, but has been extra bad the last 2 days, I am starting to wonder if I have a virus or something.
Yeah sorry to burst all the FTM's here bubble but expect people to go off registry- its just going to happen and frustrating as it is- you are going to roll with it! This is my second and I am not expecting any sprinkle or anything- My mom is giving us some money to buy another crib, dresser and an owlet because I gave mine to my sister. Those are the big ticket items that we have to buy another one of anyways- besides a double stroller.
@McKBaby I kinda agree with you in that I’ve gotten/made people some very personal gifts that are off-registry and/or things that were super useful that FTM’s didn’t even think they’d need. Some of my best received gifts were off-registry too. Like a Mama Care Kit, and a minnow-net (which was confusing at first until a knowing father told us to keep it by the bathtub for catching floaters 😂).
Having said that, I usually try to do a mix, so an item from registry and an item off-registry.
What I found baffling was just how many blankets we got! I’m not even exaggerating to say that between all the different blanket types we got about 20 of them. The handmade ones were very sweet gestures and some of them are now wall art in my sons’s room, but he wasn’t a spitter and we are still using sleep sacks so they really haven’t been used much except as area rugs and occasionally across his lap in the stroller.
@CapricaAndrea@McKBaby@Spartanrd4 We are having our shower back in Pgh and live in Chicago, so I dont even know what people will do. Prob give us gift cards lol! Either way, it's the thought that counts!
I was jut at a bridal shower this weekend and my friend (who is the bride), got twenty five kitchen/tea towels. All from different people lol!
@bookworm492@CapricaAndrea LOL. Okay kind of gross but funny story: my younger brother pooped in the tub once while he was playing with all his toys and hid it inside this tiny treasure chest, I think my mom found it DAYS later...
Anyone else getting a little annoyed with people trying to pawn off their old used crap on you? I've literally had 3 friends in the past couple weeks offer up things, and of them, only one is something I want/need. The others, I'm sitting there politely smiling and declining, but inside, I'm just thinking, "No, I don't want your crusty, stained items that have already gone through three children with missing parts."
Seriously people. I registered for things for a reason. I get maybe going off registry for a few things, and I get hand me downs that are useful and in good shape...but I don't want junk, and I don't want your items that you "never/barely used!" If you didn't use them or like them, what makes you think I will?
@mecoats See, I get the useful stuff. This friend offered me the baby banz soundproof muffs and an extra carseat base, which I am all about. But a couple other friends have offered me things that are just not in good shape anymore or are missing parts. I'm all about things that are useful and in good shape. But the other stuff...I feel like they're just dumping their junk that they want to get rid of on me. Or I had one friend say about stuff she was offering, "I didn't really use it or like it. But maybe you will." And I'm sitting there going, "Gee...thanks?"
@CapricaAndrea My daughter only pooped in the bath tub once- but yes welcome to motherhood, you will find yourself in literal shitty situations more often then you ever thought possible!
@bookworm492 We're also trying to not clutter up our house...I'm not into collecting things and then donating if we don't use them. I'm just the type that would rather be selective about what I want up front, than have a bunch of things in the house I don't want or use that I have to figure out how to get rid of. Again, it feels like they're kind of just dumping their junk on me.
@rjgmcmanus i am 100% pro hand me down - with the caveat that
a. i need to know you and you need to be a legit psycho clean person like me and/or b. i need to be able to put this in the washing machine/dishwasher/bucket of bleach to sanitize
i would not want anything crusty from anyone - and yes i know my kid will be all crusty and snotty, too, and these items prob were crusty but dang ya'll clean 'em up before you pawn them off. also, i am giving these items back to whomever gave them to me once we've had our time with them bc i am also team #justsaynotoclutter
@mecoats@rjgmcmanus I've recieved a ton of great maternity clothes, as well as baby clothes, a nursing pillow, an infant car seat (not expired, from good friends), a pack and play, baby bath..with lots more to come!
Basically I'm happy for people to give me their old stuff and then I just clarify if there's anything they want me to keep or if I can get rid of what I don't need. I'm building my registry from there so I know what I actually need.
@jandawg That's awesome! So far, we've been offered the headphones and carseat base (not expired, compatible with the seat we're registered for), so we're accepting that. But we were also offered a teddy bear soap dish, which we declined--we have plenty of other soap dishes in the house, and frankly, we don't decorate with teddy bears.We were also offered a "breast buddy," which I guess is like a boppy....this was the item the friend said she didn't really like or used, and preferred her boppy. I'm already registered for a boppy, so I'm sticking with that. We were also offered a bouncer, but we don't want a bouncer, they take up so much space (our house is tall and skinny, with narrow rooms, so we're trying not to collect things that aren't necessary). We were offered a swing, but it's missing the safety straps, so I was like, "Ummm...no, safety hazard. " And I'm not in the mood to track down replacement straps for something that's a few years old. And we were offered a 7 year old portable bassinet that had been through 3 kids and frankly, has seen better days and is kind of gross looking.
Again. All about the hand me downs. It saves me money. Just please make sure it's useful and still in good shape.
@rjgmcmanus absolutely! If it’s in awful condition the answer is no. I would’ve passed on the swing too. but really i take all the clothes i can get and then get rid of the really stained stuff or keep that for daycare. 😬
Re: Weekly randoms 7/22 - 7/28
@lilyrheas I’ve gotten excited about it but I have horrible social anxiety. One of the reasons we’re doing co-ed is to take some of the attention off me. And I’m with you on the uncomfortableness of having others buy items that you could just buy yourself. It’s weird to me that I’m an adult asking people to foot the bill for my child?
There are 3 of us due at work in December, and work is throwing us all a shower next month.
Maybe this should have been my UO!
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
They might be trying to give a compliment (because ALL women just want to hear that they’re small above all else 😡??!) but a) it’s not true, and
b) it feels like they’re saying I’m not really pregnant/weirdly makes me feel paranoid that I’m not growing fast enough.
My takeaway: the best/only thing to say when you find out someone is pregnant is “You look beautiful. How are you feeling?”
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
anyone else still dealing with morning sickness? Mine has not went away, but has been extra bad the last 2 days, I am starting to wonder if I have a virus or something.
Having said that, I usually try to do a mix, so an item from registry and an item off-registry.
What I found baffling was just how many blankets we got! I’m not even exaggerating to say that between all the different blanket types we got about 20 of them. The handmade ones were very sweet gestures and some of them are now wall art in my sons’s room, but he wasn’t a spitter and we are still using sleep sacks so they really haven’t been used much except as area rugs and occasionally across his lap in the stroller.
I was jut at a bridal shower this weekend and my friend (who is the bride), got twenty five kitchen/tea towels. All from different people lol!
Seriously people. I registered for things for a reason. I get maybe going off registry for a few things, and I get hand me downs that are useful and in good shape...but I don't want junk, and I don't want your items that you "never/barely used!" If you didn't use them or like them, what makes you think I will?
End rant.
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
a. i need to know you and you need to be a legit psycho clean person like me and/or
b. i need to be able to put this in the washing machine/dishwasher/bucket of bleach to sanitize
i would not want anything crusty from anyone - and yes i know my kid will be all crusty and snotty, too, and these items prob were crusty but dang ya'll clean 'em up before you pawn them off. also, i am giving these items back to whomever gave them to me once we've had our time with them bc i am also team #justsaynotoclutter
Basically I'm happy for people to give me their old stuff and then I just clarify if there's anything they want me to keep or if I can get rid of what I don't need. I'm building my registry from there so I know what I actually need.
@jandawg That's awesome! So far, we've been offered the headphones and carseat base (not expired, compatible with the seat we're registered for), so we're accepting that. But we were also offered a teddy bear soap dish, which we declined--we have plenty of other soap dishes in the house, and frankly, we don't decorate with teddy bears.We were also offered a "breast buddy," which I guess is like a boppy....this was the item the friend said she didn't really like or used, and preferred her boppy. I'm already registered for a boppy, so I'm sticking with that. We were also offered a bouncer, but we don't want a bouncer, they take up so much space (our house is tall and skinny, with narrow rooms, so we're trying not to collect things that aren't necessary). We were offered a swing, but it's missing the safety straps, so I was like, "Ummm...no, safety hazard. " And I'm not in the mood to track down replacement straps for something that's a few years old. And we were offered a 7 year old portable bassinet that had been through 3 kids and frankly, has seen better days and is kind of gross looking.
Again. All about the hand me downs. It saves me money. Just please make sure it's useful and still in good shape.
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19