TTCAL Week of 7/22

emeraldduchess · July 2019

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why?

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. : 2 MMC's 2/19, and 6/19, Unexplained RPL

Status: Benched, WFIVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Well it's moving week! Movers come Saturday! And the painting went really well over the weekend. I love how the color's came out. I only planned to do the bedrooms for now. But I have some extra paint so I think after we move I will do an accent wall in the living room too.

I'm pretty stressed out. Moving sucks. And there has been so much expenses. I knew there would be a lot, buying furniture and appliances and whatnot. But then there was some unexpected, like last week I had to replace my brakes in my car, and Yesterday I dropped my phone and it's all smashed so now I need a new phone ugh. And then there is the fertility stuff. I keep dwelling on where I should be and it sucks. I should be almost 8 months pregnant now. And then I should be almost 4 months pregnant but I'm neither. I'm on BCP waiting for a chance at IVF. But tbh I am not even sure it will work. I mean I know I can get PG but I can't seem to stop miscarrying around 7/8 weeks. Ughh I am bitter and frustrated and I hate it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Not yet.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why?

I always loved History and English. English cause I like reading and writing. And History cause I just always found it interesting. They were my best subjects. I would have taken double of them if I could never have to to Math lol.

emeraldduchess · July 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss at 5 weeks in December, CP in July

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am doing OK this week. DH's cousin is having a family cookout on the weekend right around my would-be due date in August. I am trying to figure out if I should go or not. I really don't know how I am going to feel around that time, but I probably won't want to have to act all happy around DH's family *TW* which includes 2 newborns. *end TW* If by chance I am KU at that point, I'll be on progesterone so I might not be much fun to be around anyway. *shrug*

I am also looking at buying a birthstone necklace to remember our losses, but I am afraid to get something that I may have to add more birthstones to in the future. I hate thinking that way, but I guess that's what experiencing loss(es) does to your mind.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Soooo much bloodwork last week for RPL testing. My arms are still sore and bruised from multiple needle sticks. We had our follow-up with the RE and everything is within normal range, my RPL bloodwork is back and also shows nothing out of the ordinary that would contribute to my losses. Now we're just waiting on karyotyping results. That has me nervous because if there is an issue with either DH's or my chromosomes, the RE recommends going straight to IVF with PGS. That's a very big jump and I need time to wrap my brain around it. This cycle we are going to try progesterone post-O. I just hope it gets here in time.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? I LOVED literature class in high school and read some of my favorite novels and plays there. I majored in English literature in college with the intent to teach the subject at the high school level, but decided elementary was a better fit for me.

emeraldduchess · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 good luck with the move! UGH to all the unexpected expenses. My car does that too, when I have to spend $$ on something else, it decides to break. I hear you on focusing on what might have been. Sending lots of hugs to you.

splashmountain · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I understand bitter and frustrated. Sending internet hugs your way. Hopefully the move will give you just the distraction you need

@emeraldduchess DH and I got tattoos to honor our first loss. After the second, I was like "am I going to be covered in tattoos?!" but another tattoo for the second loss didn't seem right. We found some stacking rings on etsy that you can have engraved *tw one with ds's name, and one with the dob of each of our losses end tw*, so basically what I'm saying is, get that birthstone necklace. You can add another stone if you need to or you can do something different if it comes to that. You do whatever feels right.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Nmc 12/25, cp 7/18

Status: wto

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I started reading a book called Infreakinfertility by Melanie Dale, about a couple's journey through IF and IVF. It's one of those books that makes you laugh and cry at the same time while DH sits across the room thinking you've gone crazy. And I was on pinterest and found this shirt I'm totally going to make

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just filled out the questionnaire online for the RE that we want to go to so hopefully we can get scheduled soon.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? Book nerd over here! I always liked english, I love reading and correcting people's grammar.

Eta: words

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

@emeraldduchess I've been wanting to get something for my losses too. I was thinking of a dual birthstone ring. But I see your point of what if I need to add more. I hate that loss does this to our brains. Fx for the rest of your results and that you come up with a plan you are comfortable with.

@splashmountain I love that shirt! Fx you get into the RE soon!

shamrocandroll · July 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: MMC in Nov '18, early loss Feb '19

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm up and down still. Fridge is broken again. Had a great weekend on the lake. MIL is visiting this weekend and I am full of dread because I KNOW she'll harass me about my uterus and I'm not sure I can handle it without snapping this time. New coffee maker came and I'm IN LOVE.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? Hmm, I loved my first year of physics in high school. I also loved trigonometry (still do), minus proofs. Triangles are the coolest. Nerd alert!

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Good luck with moving! I hear you on the never-ending list of things breaking and costing money. I swear it's f*cking Mercury in retrograde!!! It's almost over. I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hear you on how hard it is with the should-haves. Big hugs!

@emeraldduchess Everyone processes differently, but my would-be due date was Father's Day weekend, and I found it comforting and distracting to be around family. Also, I ended up getting some stacking rings for my losses with small, subtle stones. I figure I can add to them if needed (hopefully for a rainbow baby). I like them, but they're very thin and bend somewhat easily. I can link you if you want. I got them off Etsy.

@splashmountain Love the shirt! I'm glad you're making progress towards an RE. I still need to stop procrastinating that. I'm still kind of in denial about needing one.

tyrion_ · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Good luck with the move! It’s crazy how expensive it is to move let alone any other unexpected stuff that pops up, too. Hope it settles down soon for you guys.

@emeraldduchess I’m sorry about your poor arms. I hope you guys don’t have to jump straight to IVF with PGS. Fingers crossed you guys will have more options.

@splashmountain I love that shirt!

@shamrocandroll What?! Your fridge broke again? This is ridiculous. And your MIL is the worst. I hope she behaves herself on her visit.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. : early loss May 2019

Status: WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Sad to be heading into my 3rd cycle AL. I know my stuff is small potatoes compared to what all of you ladies have endured but I can’t help but be a little angry. Angry that my body is changing it up, AGAIN. Angry that we are still trying. And angry that I was pregnant and I’m not anymore. I’m usually so positive and don’t let hard things impact the rest of my life but I’m struggling with that today. So I’m going to throw a tantrum for the day, grab dinner with a friend, and then move on tomorrow.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why?

Science and math. In college it was chemistry. I have no idea why I love it so much but I find it all so fascinating.

dumbledoredies · July 2019

General TW- I'll be mentioning a LC. I also apologize because this is probably going to be very long but I have so many feelings right now.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. I mentioned all of this in my intro but will include here. I had a MC at 6 weeks in June, 2016. Then I had my DS in October, 2017. We started TTC for #2 in August, 2018. In January of this year I had a CP. I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of May. At the beginning of June we went in for an ultrasound at exactly 8 weeks. Baby looked perfect and had a heartbeat of 141. June 27th we went in at 11w4d and unfortunately found out that the baby stopped growing. I scheduled a D&C for the following Wednesday but decided to try misoprostol the weekend before to see if I could pass the pregnancy more "naturally" 🙄. It's a little bit of a long story but I ended up in the ER because I passed out from an extreme amount of blood loss. The recovery from that was pretty difficult. I was absolutely exhausted and just this past week feel like I have all my energy back.

Status: Currently waiting for AF. My doctor said I could get pregnant now if I wanted and it meant my body was ready but that it would be difficult to determine an EDD. When I had my first MC it took 7 weeks for AF to come and it was really hard on my emotional state. I spent an entire weekend in tears because I just wanted to start trying again. I'm so worried that it's going to take a long time for AF to arrive. I took an ovulation test and a cheap pregnancy test last week and the OPK was blazing positive but the pregnancy test was also positive. I took them again yesterday and they were still very positive. So that tells me my body hasnt completely moved on. I'm also still bleeding, though very lightly. I just want my period to come so I can feel like I've reset. But this waiting is so tough. It's only been 3 weeks so I'm trying to be patient and kind to myself but its hard.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? I'm struggling with everything right now. I actually did okay when it first happened because I had something to look forward to. I met up with 24 of the ladies I met through my sons BMB at a beach house and we drank and had an amazing time. But it's been really hard to come home and get back to normal life. I cry every day at least once if not multiple times. I'm having a really hard time accepting that I wont be having a baby in January. That I wont be giving DS a sibling close in age like my husband and I always wanted. I'm struggling with the fact that once my period comes and we can try again we will be hitting the 1 year mark again. I always imagined that the second time around would be faster. We struggled the first time (though not nearly as long as some people!!) and I feel like everyone who struggled the first time got pregnant with their second super fast. I feel like my body is broken. I hate watching everyone around me get pregnant and reach milestones. Especially the people who shouldnt even be having a baby yet get pregnant in 2 seconds. I hate that I have to go through all these TTC struggles again. I'm pissed off at the universe and I dont know how to cope. I became a SAHM to have babies and raise babies and I cant even effing do that. And then I feel guilty because I've been a sucky mom to my DS and distant and I should just be so grateful to have him and I feel selfish for being so upset that I wont be giving him a close in age sibling because some people cant even have their 1 baby. Ugh. And also I cant believe that I have to start temping again and peeing on sticks again and going through this while process again when I was literally a week away from starting to tell people we were going to have another baby. It feels like 2 wasted months. I have no idea how I'll ever get excited about a pregnancy again.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? Math 🙈 I always excelled at math 🙈

dumbledoredies · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 moving is the worst! When we moved into our house we painted nearly the entire thing before we moved and by the end of the week I was in tears because I was so exhausted. I'm sorry all of that other stuff has happened. Things always happen at the most inconvenient times!

@emeraldduchess I've always imagined getting something done/made for our losses but will probably wait until our family is complete considering we dont seem to get pregnant and stay pregnant. It sucks to have to imagine that it could happen again.

@tyrion_ I'm also typically a very positive person who moves on from things quickly because I feel like that's all I can do but I feel so bitter right now. Sending hugs

its definitely okay to have days where you feel angry.

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@tyrion_ I'm so sorry your body is being confusing. I totally understand being angry at everything in this process. I don't even know what my new "normal" is anymore.

@dumbledoredies I am so very sorry. I wish I could say something to make it feel better, but I hope you find comfort in knowing you're in a place where you can express your anger and know that we understand exactly how you feel. Having one child is wonderful and a blessing, but it doesn't diminish our feelings about your struggles with TFAS. I have also had 2 losses while TFAS and I absolutely understand how awful it feels to not be able to give your first the sibling you envisioned. To be trying for a year or more. I am just so sorry you're going through all of these feelings, but they are all absolutely valid. I hope your stay here is short, but until then, we're here to listen.

splashmountain · July 2019

@shamrocandroll I was in denial for a long time too. We're on our 18th month, and hitting 12 months AL made me finally decided it's time.

@tyrion_ hugs. I understand the frustration. Fx cycle 4 does the trick!

@dumbledoredies girl you have got all the feels going on right now and I understand every single one of them. We all do. Pregnancy loss is one of the cruelest things that can happen to a person. I hope that, as your loss progresses, you will start to feel like yourself again, but just know that your feelings are so normal for what you're going through. Sending you lots of hugs

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

@dumbledoredies I was in January too. I'm so sorry. It really sucks. I hope AF comes soon so you can start to move forward. I know that's been one of the hardest parts for me since my last MC. Just waiting and waiting. Fx your wait isn't too much longer. Is your doctor tracking your hcg down?

@tyrion_ I'm with you on being angry at not being PG anymore. That one hits me a lot!

@shamrocandroll I hope MIL visit isn't too bad. But yay for loving the new coffee maker!

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I can so understand the movingly expenses! When we moved into our house I think everything broke. We are feeling the financial stress from all the doctors’ bills! I am glad you are liking the colors you painted your house!!!

@emeraldduchess so sorry about the upcoming due date. I would not worry about DH’s family and do what I needed to do for myself. Be kind to yourself that day. Hugs

@shamrocandroll yay for a new coffee maker! Also good luck with the MIL... I think people mean well but they don’t understand how hurtful things they say can be.

@splashmountain good luck with the RE! ❤️ The shirt!

@tyrion_ I totally understand the feelings of starting another cycle. In the back of my mind I thought I would be KU by now too. I never anticipated being benched for two cycles. I hope next month is your month!

@dumbledoredies I am so sorry for your loss. This is such a tough place to be.... just know you are not alone. I know this place all too well... in time it gets easier, but there is still sadness. Take the time you need to heal.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: RPL- miscarried 2014 and 2019.

Status: Waiting to ovulate or af to show (which ever comes first)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

I wanted to throw in the towel Saturday and not try anymore. I cried a lot that day. It’s so hard knowing even if we do get pregnant it’s doesn’t mean we get a take home baby. My DH keeps talking about how we have to have faith.... so I have been doing opks to see if I am ovulating and nothing! FF says I should be ovulating right now... I wonder if my surgery could have thrown things off this cycle? I was happy to finally be able to go swim yesterday!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?none

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? I loved history because I loved hearing the stories! I also loved literature and reading poetry.

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splashmountain · July 2019

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls I'm sorry you were having such a hard day. I've definitely had those throughout the last few years. Hugs ❤

Update: the RE called today, my initial consultation is scheduled for 8/22. I'm nervous/excited/ready for this appointment!

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls I'm sorry it was such a hard day. It's so hard after going through losses that getting pregnant is only part of the battle. Hugs friend

@splashmountain I'm so happy for you that you got you're appt scheduled! That will be here before you know it. Fx!

dumbledoredies · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 no my doctor isnt monitoring my HCG. I believe she isnt because I had an appointment with her a few days after I was in the ER and she did an ultrasound and she was confident I had passed all the tissue and just had some blood left to pass. I'm assuming my body is just trying to catch up since it held onto the fact that I was pregnant when the baby was no longer alive. If I still get a positive pregnancy test in 2-3 weeks I'll probably call for advice. The waiting feels like forever when you want to get back to it

@splashmountain is this an initial consultation for infertility or for losses? Or both? Since I'm new here I need to catch up on everyone's journeys.

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

@dumbledoredies Ok that makes sense. Yes I agree the waiting is the worst! My latest MMC was discovered 6/12, D&C 6/14, which was unfortunately incomplete, Took Misoprostol 6/21 which failed, Ended up in ER 6/30, repeat D&C 7/3. The waiting has felt like forever. I hope the wait is over soon for us both

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · July 2019

@splashmountain I am so glad the RE called!!! I hope the month of August goes by quick!!!

tyrion_ · July 2019

@dumbledoredies I’m just so sorry. I hope your cycle goes back to normal much faster this time. Hugs to you.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Hugs. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling defeated. I hope surgery didn’t throw your cycle too far off track.

@splashmountain Glad you heard back so soon!

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@dumbledoredies I'm sorry you're having a rough day, but sometimes I find those cathartic. Loss can definitely throw your cycles off for a variety of reasons. I hope it gets back on a more predictable track for you soon!

splashmountain · July 2019

@dumbledoredies the appointment is for infertility. We've been trying since January 2018. I had a CP in July 2018 and haven't gotten ku since then.

dumbledoredies · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 as if the loss isnt hard enough. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I also hope that we are both able to move forward ASAP

@splashmountain how frustrating. Hopefully they are able to start giving you answers.

ottergirl81 · July 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Happy moving day to you! Try not to think about what things could have been and focus on the move. Try not to stress you'll get through it all! When multiple things happen that bring us down, we need to rise above it all. It's what makes us stronger.

@emeraldduchess great idea about the birthstone necklace, I never thought of anything like that.

@shamrocandroll I understand about the MIL , mine said something very hurtfull to DH last week about how things were going and then turned it into a joke. Loss and not being able to concieve is no joke! People can be so cruel and I wish you luck with your current situation.

@tyrion_ They say anger is part of the healing process and I understand where you are with that. I should be 6 weeks pregnant right now and due in March 2020. Perfect time of year for me to have a baby. Nope, guess not. I lurked the BMB for March 2020 for over a week and felt very envious and angry. I wasn't confident things were going right and all the ladies on there seemed to have it all together for the most part. Am getting through it, and trying to move on. We are made stronger with situations such as these. Sorry, little bit of a rant.

@dumbledoredies I am so sorry for your losses and current situation. I want very much to give you a real life hug. Your story broke my heart and I feel so aweful for what you are going through. I do hope your body recovers quickly and you can try again. We are made stronger by the difficult situations we endure in this life.

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls Your DH is right to say have faith. Please keep trying! It makes me sad to know when people are capable of getting pregnant they stop after one or two children. I want 5! Or as many as I can be blessed with. I have lost two in a row and felt like just giving up too. I have a friend who can not have any at all (she can't even get pregnant) and I am blessed that I can at least get something. Sounds aweful and it is to think this way, but I have hope for me and there is hope for you too.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc

Hi, pretty new here and a little nervous. I have had two CPs, one in November 2018 and the latest July 2019.

Status: WFAF to start again. DH and I are not being careful to prevent anything from happening in the meantime, but most likely should be cautious right now.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Going in every two days to get poked with a needle sucks! Could be worse, but I feel like crying everytime. My doctor ordered HCG testing to make sure levels are going down and an ultrasound to make sure all has been cleared out of there.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?Just the blood and ultrasound.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? Art and English! Loved drawing and painting-sometimes still do those things if I can make time. English was fun because I love to read and correct grammar and spelling.

hanshotfirst77 · July 2019

@ottergirl81 Welcome! I am sorry for your losses. I always felt like having to go in for the betas and U/S's after the loss were the worst, Like it's bad enough you had the loss, and it's one thing to get poked and prodded when you are PG but after the loss it just kinda stings. Fx you get your cycle back soon!

NYTino24 · July 2019

You guys, I just don’t know how to get rid of my anxiety. I still had very faint shadows on tests after O this cycle and I guess that threw me off when AF arrived even though my temp dropped for four days before. I seem to only feel better once AF shows because then I know what’s going on for sure. This stuff messes with your head so much.

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@NYTino24 Ugh, I'm sorry. This is a mindf*ck for sure.

tyrion_ · July 2019

@NYTino24 I’m so sorry.

Mamaof2beautifulgirls · July 2019

@NYTino24 I am so sorry! Miscarriage is such a traumatic event! No ones understands! I still have such flash back when AF comes! Hugs to you!

@ottergirl81thank you for your kind words! And yes! There is always hope! 🥰

emeraldduchess · July 2019

@NYTino24 I am so sorry. I've said it so many times, anxiety is a freakin' beast.

@ottergirl81 welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses. And yes, getting poked with a need every two days absolutely sucks, especially when you know it's to confirm a loss. I hope that your bloodwork and ultrasound confirm that you can move forward.

@splashmountain that book sounds really good. I might have to check that out! So glad you can get in to see the RE sooner rather than later. You must be so relieved!

@shamrocandroll I hope your MIL doesn't say anything unkind to you during her visit. I don't know if I could keep from blowing up at someone who makes comments like that (I almost went OFF on my SIL the other day, but that's another story). I've been looking at rings on etsy, but I think a necklace might be more my style. I tend to fidget a lot with rings. Glad your new coffee maker is everything you dreamed it would be!

@tyrion_ I'm so sorry you're struggling heading into a new cycle. I think my third AL cycle hit the hardest, too. It seems like everyone I knew IRL who had a loss got KU again within 3 months and I was crushed that it hasn't happened that way for me.

@dumbledoredies I am so very sorry for everything you have been through and are still going through. All those feelings are totally valid. I was feeling the same anger after my CP this month. Like, I take care of my body, why the hell can't it do what it's supposed to do?!?

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls I feel like throwing in the towel too every month that I don't get KU. My DH is like yours, he is positive and stays hopeful on the days when I can't. I'm grateful for that, I don't know where I'd be if he didn't. I hope you're feeling better about things now.

tyrion_ · July 2019

@ottergirl81 Welcome! I’m sorry you find yourself back here and I’m very sorry for your losses.

dumbledoredies · July 2019

@ottergirl81 I'm so sorry for your losses. It really does suck going to get stabbed with a needle a ton in the midst of loss. As if we need more of a reminder of what's going on. I hope AF arrives quickly for you.

@NYTino24 sending you so much love

this entire process is so stressful for those of us who don't just get pregnant quickly and take home a baby. It's not fair that we have to go through this.

@emeraldduchess it's so frustrating because its completely out of our control. I don't know what more I can do to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I've actually completely cut coffee out since this MC and DH and I are mostly cutting out alcohol. I was still going to spin class and working out once I found out I was pregnant and I probably wont next time. It's like I can't help but blame myself. Maybe I drank too much caffeine or the spinning was too intense? I try not to blame myself but it's hard to not think what if I had done things different with my body..

bluetickgal · July 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MC at 7 weeks in January 2019.

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Doing pretty well right now. TW in spoiler:

My SIL had her baby last Friday...I broke down that night with DH because I couldn’t help but think we should be 6 weeks away from meeting our baby, yet I’m not even KU again! We don’t talk about it much because I know he prefers not too, but it was nice to just cry/talk it out! I’ve been doing better since then, but it’s so hard not to think about it. We are going to meet our new niece this weekend...and I hate that I have a “let’s get it over with” attitude, but I just know it’s going to be hard!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Progesterone BW last week showed I ovulated, so just WFAF.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? Oh, I’m a weirdo who liked math & English...I feel like most people like math & science or English & history! I did not like history or science (yet I fell in love with & married a history major who reads historical biographies for fun 😂)!

@hanshotfirst77 glad the painting went well!! Hope the move goes well Saturday! Sorry for all the financial stresses, especially the totally unexpected (brakes & phone)...they seem to come at the worst time! I feel ya on focusing on where you “should” be, it’s so hard not to think about that...I’m so sorry though!!

@emeraldduchess that is tough...but you have to do what’s best for you! If you think it would be too triggering to go to the cookout, then I’d skip it! I think the birthstone necklace sounds like a great way to honor your losses!

@splashmountain love that shirt!! Yay for getting your RE appointment, hopefully it gets here quickly!

@shamrocandroll hopefully your MIL keeps her comments in check this weekend!! I’m so jealous of your new coffee maker...do you make all the different things with just coffee and not espresso? I could totally get into that if so!!

@tyrion_ I’m so sorry you are struggling and angry...this all sucks!! I got really disappointed when I didn’t get KU on my 3rd cycle AL...*TW I got my BFP on my 3rd cycle of actually ovulating w/ meds, so I just figured I should be able to get pregnant again by the 3rd cycle after my MC...end TW*. Hope you start to feeling better soon!!

@dumbledoredies I’m so sorry for your losses!! The waiting is so hard...it took me 10 weeks to get my cycle back after loss and that felt like the longest 10 weeks ever! Hoping your cycle comes back soon! It is totally understandable to be angry/frustrated right now...loss is so incredibly unfair!! Sending hugs & positive vibes your way!

@Mamaof2beautifulgirls so sorry you felt like giving up on trying! When you feel like that, it can be frustrating when the other person is trying to be positive and all you want to do is wallow...but that’s also really sweet and encouraging that your DH has the faith that things will work out!

@ottergirl81 I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now...the repeated blood draws really are a sucker punch!! Hope your US shows that all is clear and you can move on to trying again!

@NYTino24 I’m so sorry you are dealing with anxiety right now, it’s a beast! I hope your cycle regulates soon!

ruby696 · July 2019

Hi all.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

This makes loss number 6. 3 CP's and 3 MMC's.

Status: Waiting for my IVF cycle to start.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

I just can't even wrap my head around another loss. My eggs are obviously crap and it makes me nervous that we're just throwing money down thr drain for IVF that isn't going to work. So not in a great place right now even though I'm trying to get excited for IVF.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

I'll have a repeat hcg test before my IVF cycle starts to make sure I'm back st zero.

GTKY: What was your favorite subject in school and why? English. I love reading and writing.

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@bluetickgal Yes, all with regular coffee! It's so awesome!

@ruby696 My heart hurts so so much for you. Big hugs, and be kind to yourself.

Update on MIL, she has laryngitis, so she's not coming. It sounds awful, but I'm so relieved. I am not in the best place emotionally with TTGP right now and I don't think I could have handled her comments right now. I really hope this is our cycle so I can get some thicker skin to handle her comments.

splashmountain · July 2019

@ruby696 I know I just posted on the ttcal board, but I just want to say again how sorry I am! I hate that this happened to you AGAIN! So many prayers and hugs coming your way ❤

@shamrocandroll I'm glad your mil didn't come and give you a hard time, I've been working really hard on weight loss since January and I saw my grandma the other day and she says "you look so good, watch now your ruin it by getting pregnant and fat again!" ...thanks granny.

@NYTino24 I'm sorry you're body is messing with your head! This whole process is so dang hard. Hugs

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@splashmountain Ugh, I'm sorry. I had a coworker tell me I needed to get pregnant again before I get too old. If I wasn't in the office, I might have flipped her off.

emeraldduchess · July 2019

@dumbledoredies I know what you mean. Even though it's totally beyond our control, we feel like we need to blame someone, usually ourselves.

@ruby696 I wish I had the right words to give you some comfort. This is so, so unfair and I wish I knew you IRL so I could give you a great big hug and cry it out together.

bluetickgal · July 2019

@ruby696 I’m so incredibly sorry for what you are are going through again! Sending hugs your way!!

@shamrocandroll oh, I’m very interested in that!! I probably couldn’t convince DH we need it since our current coffee maker is perfectly fine, maybe down the road though! Sorry your MIL is sick, but that is very nice you won’t have to deal with her comments!

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@bluetickgal If you decide to do it, buy it from Kohl's with a 30% off coupon. I managed to do that plus an additional 15% off bonus discount.

TTCAL Week of 7/22

Re: TTCAL Week of 7/22

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