FFFC 7.12

bows22 · July 2019

*not guaranteed to be flame free

bows22 · July 2019

If I get pregnant this month, my due date based on LMP would be 4/17. I’m officially out of the woods for a tax season due date, and if I do get KU in the near future I fully intend on letting the partners at my firm believe that I planned it that way.

mercury94 · July 2019

I stumbled upon my ex’s new wife’s IG yesterday. I got a sick pleasure in how terrible he looks in recent photos. Like completely unrecognizable.

babyodo · July 2019

mercury94 said:

I stumbled upon my ex’s new wife’s IG yesterday. I got a sick pleasure in how terrible he looks in recent photos. Like completely unrecognizable.

In that vein: my IG is set to private and my exH sent me a follow request a while ago, which I accepted, but I don't follow him back. My life is so much better now, and because I'm a total b*tch, I want him to see that.

(Side note: my exH was very abusive, and even after I left him he tried to gaslight me into thinking that it was my fault. He can go f*ck himself for all I care.)

mvt2003 · July 2019

Ha I blocked my ex on almost all platforms when I started dating MH (even blocked his sister and best friend). I check things out on twitter every so often though, and when I saw his new wife I literally laughed.

So much better off without him.

mokay19 · July 2019

Instead of doing work while at work, I’m researching puppies available in my area. We have an 8 year old dog and want to get a puppy before our dog dies (sorry, morbid but realistic) and our house should be done in October so I want to get a puppy this fall!!

ruby696 · July 2019

@mercury94 I just saw a picture of my ex and he gained a TON of weight. It was his recent wedding photo - he is now married to our former roommate, who has also gained a ton of weight. I'm happy to be rid of them both and THRILLED that they look so terrible.😂

Eta: spelling

ruby696 · July 2019

My FFFC: MH and I both have large life insurance polices in case something happens to one of us. I already know what I'd use the money for and MH is aware of this.

millpe · July 2019

FFFC sometimes I check on H's exwife on Facebook... I think she is prettier than me and sometimes feel guilty about it, like he downgraded. Then I remember how much of a b*tch she was and the fact that she cheated on him. So I'm obviously an upgrade

whitealbum29 · July 2019

In the vein of following exes on social media....this is a sickeningly large part of my life on Instagram/FB/etc. I have multiple fake IG accounts leftover from when I was obsessing over two different guys with whom I had intense but very one-sided "relationships" with a few years ago. One guy was active on IG so I used it to follow him, his ex, his other ex, his mom, various girls he seemed to potentially have a thing with based on my creepy-ass IG research, and eventually his GF-now wife. Now I don't care at all about any of it but checking in on everyone is just an activity when I'm bored! I can't give it up.

The other guy wasn't active on social media but I still follow various people from his group of friends, they seemed soooo cool to me at the time! It's nice to have perspective now and see that they're just...completely normal. Oh and my good friend also has a stalking habit and we share one account and gossip about all of our ex-related people.

keikilove · July 2019

I got nothing this morning, but wanted to say @bows22 your last few gifs you’ve posted have made me literally laugh out loud.

@whitealbum29 This made me think of you

(It’s only somewhat related to your stalkeristic confession!)

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/0p/dbkrdu3hdxde.gif

shamrocandroll · July 2019

OK, I've been saving this one. I'll preface this by saying this is going to sound like a brag, but it's not! It's just something I pretty much never realized was an issue for so many people before TB!

I never understood how people could have so many non-finishers with their male partners when HIO. I now realize it's because I am super lucky that MH is such a reliable finisher, but I cannot think of any times it has been an issue for us. And that's not me saying I'm super hot or amazing at sex (I'm chubby and probably just average on both counts). The only examples I can think of where it was an issue are either because MH had waaaay too much to drink, or it was round 2 and he didn't have any more ammo.

So anyway. There it is. Hopefully that's juicy enough of a FFFC.

ETA missing word. And also, here we are 12 months into TTGP, so I can't be too cocky (pun intended) about it.

NYTino24 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll It happens sometimes with DH, including on -2 this cycle, because he’s dehydrated from work and exercise. He cramps up and gets insanely painful Charlie horses. I try to hide my disappointment if it does occur, and it’s only every few months. It can happen from drinking, too. I also cramp up sometimes and have to change positions. Oh, older age...

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@NYTino24 Oh man... sex charlie horses are THE WORST. MH drinks so much water (whereas I'm terrible about that) because he works outside, so maybe that has a lot to do with it.

b_1029 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll I’m with you! The only times DH hasn’t been able to finish is because he’s been drinking too much! I never realized it was an issue but now I feel lucky that basically every time I initiate sex during FW, I can count on him getting the job done (in theory at least lol)

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@b_1029 I feel simultaneously lucky and also guilty that I never realized this was a struggle for some!

ruby696 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll I'm with you ladies. I had no idea it was such a struggle for some people.

ruby696 · July 2019

Another FFFC from me: Sometimes I tell MH that I want to HIO in the shower because it's fun to mix things up. But it's really so I can rinse off right after and go to bed feeling clean.

Eta: spelling

keikilove · July 2019

@shamrocandroll I think your confession is awesome! I never knew what it was to not finish until MH & TTC. It’s happened four times in the last year of TTC & it’s always due to cramps, exhaustion, or pulling double-duty during the FW. He says I put him to work!🤣

mokay19 · July 2019

My hips pop sometimes during sex and we have to stop, stretch, and rearrange. So sexy haha

@ruby696 I do that, too! It’s so annoying being in bed and having to get back up to go clean up!

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@mokay19 @ruby696 TMI... but one of the (only) reasons TTGP sex is better than non is because I use Softcups right after during my FW and it keeps it all contained up there. Last night was not FW sex, so it was an immediate hop up and awkwardly dart to the bathroom with my legs squeezed shut kind of moment. Fortunately, MH always goes to the main bathroom to clean up immediately after, so he doesn't witness my jizz-shuffle.

ruby696 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll LOL I know exactly the walk you're talking about! And it's sooo much worse if you also have a cough.😬

Eta: autocorrect

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@ruby696 Bah-hahaha, Hollywood makes sex look so sexy and romantic, when really it's mostly just trying not to fart and jizz-shuffling. 😂 🤣

ruby696 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll And staying in one place when you're done so YH thinks you want to cuddle, but really you're trying to let max sperm hit their target before you get up to pee. 😂

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@ruby696 "Don't mind me while I just casually slide this pillow under my butt to slightly elevate my hips for no real reason while we cuddle, sweetie."

I'm dying right now... 😂🤣

b_1029 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll @ruby696 DYING. I love how sexy it’s portrayed in movies, and ours is literally DH still being inside and being like “ok, gonna go grab a washcloth from the bathroom”. Then me trying to put my legs back behind my head to prevent the mess from all falling out, I’m sure it’s the sexiest sight EVER to come back to

keikilove · July 2019

Hahahaha! @b_1029 @ruby696 @shamrocandroll

#TRUTH

mokay19 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll @ruby696 the jizz shuffle 🤣 yes!
once I requested my husband to leave the room after the deed and he asked why I said “honestly, I’m about to do a handstand to get that sperm up as far as it can go and I don’t want you to see that”
needless to say, he left the room thinking I’m crazy 😂

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@mokay19 IMPRESSIVE! I would kill myself if I attempted a handstand. And if that didn't kill me, I would certainly die of embarrassment when the paramedics arrived.

mercury94 · July 2019

@ttcbabyodo Your ex sounds like my ex, who I’m very glad I never have to see again, but still kind of happy that he looks terrible and seems miserable while I’m so much happier than I used to be.

ruby696 · July 2019

I also refuse to do certain positions during my FW because I don't want to risk losing the goods. So as we're HIO, I'm giving direction based on TTC. Super sexy. 🤷‍♀️

shamrocandroll · July 2019

@ruby696 I DO THAT TOO! Like, MH likes certain positions that are not penetrative enough, so I have to give him strict instructions to inform me before he finishes so we can switch. It's like I'm a TTGP drill sergeant. Super romantic.

bows22 · July 2019

@keikilove oh thank you! I always wonder if I’m posting gifs that people have seen a million times so thanks for letting me know I’m not being too boring!

Also +1 for the jizz shuffle AND I once kicked my H in the nose trying to get my leg out of the way without losing any sperm. We’re more careful now 😂

mercury94 · July 2019

@whitealbum29 I wouldn’t say I have a hobby of staking people on social media, but I do have a fake FB account that I use to occasionally check people I’ve blocked from my account.

I also discovered about 5 months after my divorce that my home computer remembered my ex’s Facebook password and I totally used it for a while to make sure he wasn’t planning anything. I had a restraining order against him at the time and could easily have proved he was violating it just from his FB messages if I needed to. Like, a mutual FB friend was sending him updates about me and pictures I’d posted. and then he admitted he was still in possession of firearms. Don’t know if he ever changed the password. I stopped trying to look at his stuff a while back, after he moved several hundred miles away from me.

Edit because words are hard.

charmedlifex3 · July 2019

MH has gained a TON of weight since we got married - but it's because when he was with his ex she would blow the grocery budget shopping / getting her nails done etc and was so physically and mentally abusive he didn't feel he deserved to eat / live.
So ... the fact he is now a little chubby instead of skeletal I think is a win!
He was under 160 at 6'4 when he was with her. He'd gotten up to 180 by the time we met a few years later, but needed to gain to be healthy. He went a little far, and is maybe 20 pounds over ideal... which means he's gained 60+ pounds.

ruby696 · July 2019

@mercury94 Well that's super scary and the mutual FB friend sucks as a human being. I'm glad your ex moved far away.

mercury94 · July 2019

@ruby696 To be fair, I should have known. She was the first person he ever cheated on me with. Should have stopped being FB friends with her the day I found out about that (which was sadly like 8 years after it happened).

ruby696 · July 2019

Well @mercury94, that makes her an even suckier human being.

shamrocandroll · July 2019

Seriously @mercury94 she sucked after your first comment, but now I officially think she's a terrible person after the follow-up. I'm sorry you had such toxic people in your life!

mercury94 · July 2019

@shamrocandroll It’s like a super awful story, but I’m lucky enough to have not had to speak to either of them in 5 years. Basically, we were all best friends in high school. I started dating my ex, she started dating his best friend. We got engaged on the same day. Totally adorable. Except that while we were engaged (and I was off at college), they started sleeping together. She’s still married to the best friend, by the way. I feel kind of bad that I didn’t tell him, but I figured he wouldn’t believe me. I only found out because my ex told me the story after I caught him cheating with a different girl (now his wife, she deserves him). Also, the former best friend also looks pretty terrible in recent pictures and she and her husband live with her parents, so I’m over here cackling with joy that I’m the only happy one with a real job and actual money.

ETA: I also recently hit the point where I weigh less than I did in high school. Can’t say the same for any of them.

newmomtx06 · July 2019

@mercury94. I am so sorry you had such terrible people in your life but I’m glad you’re in a great place now! Karma really does do it’s job.

FFFC 7.12

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