October 2019 Moms

The Great Question Thread

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Re: The Great Question Thread

  • @perfectlove09 I have one schedule for next week too! I'm hoping it should be fine.

    Does anyone else feel more out of breath than normal? I feel like something is sitting on my chest.... 
  • @obsessedwithoranges yep. But it's more like something pressing up against your lungs. Its only gets better 😫
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  • SLou24SLou24 member
    @obsessedwithoranges oh my goodness yes. There are certain sitting positions I have a really hard time breathing. I also broke into a full sweat and couldn’t catch my breath trying to buckle a pair of sandals on Sunday. It was so fun. 
  • I recently mentioned to my MIL that I was feeling the baby kick now, and that my husband could also feel it now (usually when I lie on my back, which is so uncomfortable [and something we're not really supposed to do], but it's getting easier for him to feel when I lie on my side too). She said she couldn't wait to feel Mini Moo move.

    So... How are you all gonna handle - or are handling - that? I know she won't hesitate to try, but I also know she'll respect my wishes if I stop her before she does it (thank God for MILs who listen!). It's not that I have a problem with her putting her hand on my stomach, exactly, but I'm not a touchy-feely person and the baby kicks are still pretty low, like around the underpants line.

    I'll be seeing her on the 4th of July, and I haven't mastered how to get the baby to move - is that possible at 22ish weeks? - so I assume her hand would be there a while.

    I fortunately haven't dealt with much negative emotion/action/things surrounding this pregnancy, and I don't want to deny her this, but I really don't know. Argh for being someone who hates confrontation and wants everyone to experience as much as they can in life. 😶
    DD 10/2019
  • @meagan-t sugar wakes my girl up almost every single time. BUT I get what your saying about the kicks being low. I wouldn't even let my own mom feel last week because they were there. What I would do is tell her when you feeling something strong enough for her to feel (and of course an area where your cool with her touching). If she makes the first move just simply tell her "oh this isnt the usual time that baby is awake and active but when I feel something ill let you know!"
  • @steminist, @prpl11butterfly, and @junebabyh Thank you! I knew you ladies would have good advice for me. I never would have thought of most of those responses on my own!
    DD 10/2019
  • @Meagan-t, I love all of the advice you got, and I like @prpl11butterfly phrasing, or something like "the baby isn't moving right now, but I will let you know when s/he is! I can't wait for you to feel him/her!" (And feel free to fib and still say the baby isn't moving even if s/he is... but the movement is in a place you don't want your MIL touching 😉

    By the way, I so wish I had this problem 😂 My MIL just comes right up to me, puts her hands on my belly and says, "It's ok if I touch your belly, right?!" In a tone that says I'd be crazy if I said no. Nice. 🙄
  • Mine does this too @galentine @prpl11butterfly !!! I usually don't mind if she touches the belly, but of course if the baby was moving and anyone touches my belly, she immediately stops.  :/
    TTC #1: September 2013, BFP 01/01/14, DS 09/14
    TTC #2: October 2018, BFP 02/02/19, EDD 10/14/19



  • @galentine DS does that 😂 He legit doesn't get that he can't feel something I didn't. But he's about 4 and obviously you MIL is much older and should know better 🙄
  • @prpl11butterfly Whenever my mom says that about the baby, I just agree. "Yeah, I guess so. Hopefully they'll change their mind once they're born!"
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @galentine Exactly!! The first time I had DH try and feel for movement, he asked me every 5-10 seconds if that was her moving... I felt so bad to keep telling him no. Same with MIL this past weekend.
    TTC #1: September 2013, BFP 01/01/14, DS 09/14
    TTC #2: October 2018, BFP 02/02/19, EDD 10/14/19



  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    meagan-t said:
    I recently mentioned to my MIL that I was feeling the baby kick now, and that my husband could also feel it now (usually when I lie on my back, which is so uncomfortable [and something we're not really supposed to do], but it's getting easier for him to feel when I lie on my side too). She said she couldn't wait to feel Mini Moo move.

    So... How are you all gonna handle - or are handling - that? I know she won't hesitate to try, but I also know she'll respect my wishes if I stop her before she does it (thank God for MILs who listen!). It's not that I have a problem with her putting her hand on my stomach, exactly, but I'm not a touchy-feely person and the baby kicks are still pretty low, like around the underpants line.

    I'll be seeing her on the 4th of July, and I haven't mastered how to get the baby to move - is that possible at 22ish weeks? - so I assume her hand would be there a while.

    I fortunately haven't dealt with much negative emotion/action/things surrounding this pregnancy, and I don't want to deny her this, but I really don't know. Argh for being someone who hates confrontation and wants everyone to experience as much as they can in life. 😶
    No one but my H touches my stomach. No one. My H always asks before he does because he know I don’t like it. 

    You don’t stop being your own person when you become pregnant. If you don’t feel comfortable with it, tell her no
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • Does everyone need a birth plan?! And when/how does one go about talking about it with your doctor? My hospital will have whoever is on duty delivering my baby though so I'm even more confused haha.

    I just read my TB article and it said I should have a birth plan on place yesterday ago -_-
  • @marbellie I had read with my first pregnancy to type it up and take it with you to the hospital. I have no idea if we took it or gave it to anyone or if that’s what they even want you to do! I’d ask at your next appointment what they typically want to know and how to relay that info to them
  • marbellie said:
    Does everyone need a birth plan?! And when/how does one go about talking about it with your doctor? My hospital will have whoever is on duty delivering my baby though so I'm even more confused haha.

    I just read my TB article and it said I should have a birth plan on place yesterday ago -_-
    You do not NEED one. It completely depends on your wishes and how you communicate with your doctors. When I was pregnant with DS1 I also read that everyone should have a birth plan. I brought it up with my doctor who basically said if I had particular wishes I could write it down and she'd add it to my chart/paperwork. My feeling was that since I trusted my OB and had a pretty open way of communicating with her then I'd just follow her lead when the time came. That worked well for me. But some people are very particular about exactly how they want things to  go--the things they can control anyway. I'm with @cmbt2, the most important thing to me is just give me the epidural asap. :)  ...So, that's a long way of saying a birth plan isn't mandatory the way, say, the glucose test is for example.
  • Okay, so no real birth plan is necessary, but when it comes to, say, the position you'd like to labor in, is that something you generally find is respected? I do not want to labor on my back, but I'm open to other positions.
    DD 10/2019
  • As far as far as birth plans, I found that it was helpful for me to sit down and think about how I hoped things would go. DH and I talked about what we wanted and took classes, researched methods etc. however, I also knew that depending on the situation that birth plan would fly out the window. It’s important to have a goal in mind, but you need to be flexible. I didn’t write mine down, but I did talk with my doctor. All of this was for my first, and in retrospect it was mostly for my own peace of mind. I didn’t do this with my second, because the first experience made me feel more prepared. All of my nurses were patient with me and listened to my wishes. If you have an epidural, you’re kind of stuck in one position. But without it, the nurses can help you adjust. These are also great questions for the staff when you go on your hospital tour. 
  • Our hospital had a plan/questionnaire they wanted you to fill out, which I did. The only thing that went according to my preferences on the plan was that DH announced the baby’s sex. Everything else went completely differently and it didn’t really make any difference having one versus not. If it makes you feel better to express your preferences ahead or of time, do it. But I would remain flexible when the time comes.

    With respect to positioning, they will sometimes have to position you in different ways if the baby is having complications. I would recommend following their lead on that. We had some scary moments with HR decels and their positioning made all the difference.
    *TW in Spoiler*BabyFetus Ticker

    Me 39 - DH 41

    Married 8/26/07

    TTGP #1 Jan '15 - 

         BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16

    TTGP #2 July '17 -

         CP July '17

         Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17

         CP June '18

         BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19

  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    meagan-t said:
    Okay, so no real birth plan is necessary, but when it comes to, say, the position you'd like to labor in, is that something you generally find is respected? I do not want to labor on my back, but I'm open to other positions.
    In general, yes. I was on a birthing ball until my epidural was placed both times. That said, if you have complications, you may have to be on your back — like, if baby decels or your BP spikes, you can very well be confined to the bed.  
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • jal88144jal88144 member
    edited June 2019
    I didn't have a birth plan with my first or my second. I learned so much from those births in exactly what I did want and what I didn't. So this time I literally talk about it with my midwives at each visit. I'm not going to write a plan for this time but rather discuss it openly as my preference.  example: I do not want them to break my water unless it is absolutely necessary and also different things I want to happen should a c section happen. I personally just feel better talking about it openly then writing it down.
  • TTM+  anyone have to do their own Group B strep test? With my other kids the doctor did it I think during my 35th or 36th week however with this practice, you do your own and I honestly worry I'm going to F it up haha.  They have like a 10 step instruction sheet on first swapping your vagina, inserting a couple of inches but not as far as a tampon then swabbing your perineum and a few other steps in between. I just found this odd that they trust patients to do it correctly on their own ha.  I know I'm going to be thinking, "wait, did I not insert far enough, did I swab enough area, etc" should be fun  :D
  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    jal88144 said:
    TTM+  anyone have to do their own Group B strep test? With my other kids the doctor did it I think during my 35th or 36th week however with this practice, you do your own and I honestly worry I'm going to F it up haha.  They have like a 10 step instruction sheet on first swapping your vagina, inserting a couple of inches but not as far as a tampon then swabbing your perineum and a few other steps in between. I just found this odd that they trust patients to do it correctly on their own ha.  I know I'm going to be thinking, "wait, did I not insert far enough, did I swab enough area, etc" should be fun  :D
    My MW group has you do it yourself. I promise it isn’t that bad!
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • @cmbt2 hahah ok good to know! 
  • @jal88144 Never heard of doing it on your own! I would be concerned about screwing it up, too! But I guess if some practices let the patient do it themselves then it's probably pretty foolproof.
  • @perfectlove09 I’m still getting mine on my original schedule.  The esthetician who does it for me used to give me a glass of wine beforehand to take the edge off which I no longer partake in so there is slightly more pain, but it’s not unbearable.  I’m at the lake every weekend all weekend during the summer so it’s not something I will skip.
  • @galentine I'm right there with you, my youngest SIL would legitimately come up to me and be like let me feel this baby when I was pregnant with DS. Then be like oh I hope you don't mind. Yet, she'd get mad if someone touched her while pregnant. My mother is all hands on Everytime I'm around her. Used to get so upset when the babies wouldn't kick for her. All my kids would be shy as soon as someone touched my belly. Last week at work, an older lady came up behind me and tickled my stomach.....in the middle of the floor, with like 4 other people!!? I was like...uhm please don't. She goes well I only have boys and I always wanted to do that????? What!?! Noooooo. I'm bout to tape a sign to me, irritable and pregnant stay back for safety reasons (our factory is huge on safety protocol, so I'll just borrow that) I barely even have a decent looking bump, all my bumps have been oddly shaped so idk why people have to touch it🤦🏽‍♀️

    @marbellie I had a well done birth plan with my son, I printed it out from TB and filled it in. It went out the window when we started pitocin and the contractions hit but I didn't dilate. I never wanted an epidural, wanted to walk as much as I could. With DS I was down by 4 or 5 on pitocin. Confined to the bed cause if the epidural. With DD I didn't have a formal plan outlined, but told my doctor to help me hold out on the epidural and walk and bounce. She did amazing. I loved her. She came in every hour to make sure I got up and walked, or the nurses did, and make sure I was sitting on the ball for a while. It's really preference but I feel once you're in the moment, it kinda blurs through. 




  • @perfectlove09 last time I got a regular bikini wax (i'm too scared to do full brazilian). LOL! It hurt but it was manageable.
    @prpl11butterfly I started wearing one pretty early this time because of how physical clinicals are. All the bending, pushing beds, moving patients. I felt like my stomach was going to fall out. My OB reccomended it to me at the first appt.  It's helped sooooo 
  • Two questions:
    1)Does anyone get razor burn worse with pregnancy? Idk what is going on but the last two times I’ve shaved I end up sore with bad razor burn. Maybe it’s that my skin is extra sensitive? I don’t remember my skin being this sensitive for my previous pregnancies but maybe I just didn’t notice as much.

    2) For those with foot/leg swelling how bad is it getting? I have a call in to my OB because I’ve had PIH and Pre-E with all of my kids but the swelling in my legs has me starting to get concerned. My hands and face are slightly puffy which are the bigger watch sign but my (already plus size) legs are staring to look like hippo legs. Compression socks haven’t really helped a lot either. 


  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    Two questions:
    1)Does anyone get razor burn worse with pregnancy? Idk what is going on but the last two times I’ve shaved I end up sore with bad razor burn. Maybe it’s that my skin is extra sensitive? I don’t remember my skin being this sensitive for my previous pregnancies but maybe I just didn’t notice as much.

    2) For those with foot/leg swelling how bad is it getting? I have a call in to my OB because I’ve had PIH and Pre-E with all of my kids but the swelling in my legs has me starting to get concerned. My hands and face are slightly puffy which are the bigger watch sign but my (already plus size) legs are staring to look like hippo legs. Compression socks haven’t really helped a lot either. 


    It’s pretty bad for me- I swell pretty bad as it is, but there are days I can’t get my larger than needed compression socks onto my feet or my gloves on. 

    Im easily retaining 20 lbs of water right now
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • @cmbt2 thank you, that’s very reassuring to me. With my other 3 pregnancies I didn’t swell much at all until the end but everything about this pregnancy is throwing me off. 
  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @cmbt2 thank you, that’s very reassuring to me. With my other 3 pregnancies I didn’t swell much at all until the end but everything about this pregnancy is throwing me off. 
    Despite having the pre-e label myself (don’t get me started... one bad blood pressure 🙄), my MW said the swelling wasn’t concerning when I pointed it out. It’s also summer time here, which means we’ll swell even more than with winter babies
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • @cmbt2 it’s summer here too. I think it must just be me getting older or my body not being as forgiving for #4 because #2 and #3 were September babies and it wasn’t like this. It’s been taking 3-4 days for the swelling to go down. It’s not painful so much but I just get nervous with any swelling especially when it ties in to my bad BP days and I’ve had quite a few of those lately. Honestly I think I’m more afraid of Pre -E this time than any of the rest because when I had pneumonia early in the pregnancy my bp was borderline seizure range and it scared me. 

    I have so much useless and miserable anxiety about something going horribly wrong and my husband having to parent our 3 kids alone that I find myself overly concerned with anything that could be Pre-E related. 
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