TW Tuesday

jenferlee82 · June 2019

Decided to do my first post today because we need TW Tuesdays. Let's hear em!

jenferlee82 · June 2019

Okay I'll start. So my CEO has been making the rounds to announce my new role as Chief Strategy Officer individually to the various members of the executive team. I've been getting all kinds of great notes and IMs, texts, etc. saying congrats. Well he told our Chief Technology Officer yesterday and I immediately got a call. I was expecting some kind of congratulations but instead, I got a 30 minute lecture about how he wasn't sure I was the right fit for the job and if I was going to be successful I would need to take into consideration his various pieces of advice and wisdom. He kept saying that he thought it was too big a departure from my current role and I have "some significant knowledge gaps" that I will have to work through. He proceeded to tell me exactly how to manage the people that will be my new direct reports. He also said, "I do question whether now is the time for you to take on more considering you should be focused on becoming a mother." It would have gone longer but I finally recovered by powers of speech after listening to him drone on for a while and basically thanked him for sharing his feedback, told him I had to run to a meeting, and hung up. Like, what the hell was that? I'm still baffled today.

galentine · June 2019

@jenferlee82, how completely inappropriate of him!!

grapeskittles4lyfe · June 2019

@jenferlee82 ...like, did he have a different candidate in mind? what colossal levels of condescending douchebaggery

kindbytealikat · June 2019

@jenferlee82 How completely unprofessional and what a douche canoe! Well dude the ones that hired me think different so talk to them otherwise F off.

Cass005 · June 2019

@jenferlee82 Completely unprofessional! Okay he had concerns, but to just go at you like that? No thank you, I understand people having reservations when it comes to pregnancy in the workplace and what not, but there's a time and place and way about it expressing them.

Don't let this ruin your decision, you got this promotion for a reason and you're going to rock it!!

jenferlee82 · June 2019

@grapeskittles4lyfe I honestly read it as he wanted the role. It was extremely condescending and felt very personal as well. The strangest part is that I have always had a great working relationship with him - in fact, he hired me into the company! I was frankly disappointed in myself for not shredding him, but I was just so stunned I could barely speak!

jenferlee82 · June 2019

Thank you ladies! I needed a bit of that support after that jacked up conversation!!

greenbean-2 · June 2019

@jenferlee82 Shame on him for doing that to you and for bringing your pregnancy into it. I’m angry on your behalf.

Cass005 · June 2019

jenferlee82 said:

@grapeskittles4lyfe I honestly read it as he wanted the role. It was extremely condescending and felt very personal as well. The strangest part is that I have always had a great working relationship with him - in fact, he hired me into the company! I was frankly disappointed in myself for not shredding him, but I was just so stunned I could barely speak!

I'd have to agree with you here, I did sense a bit of jealousy, and if that's the case then @greenbean-2 is right shame on him. I would have been just as stunned as you were, and as much as we want to, retaliation is usually better handled after the fact so you can calm down

and take time to come up with the most polite way to verbally slap him hahaha

I'm in HR so confrontation is something I try to contain but I do have tendencies to be a smart ass.

emily1052 · June 2019

@jenferlee82 I would have lost my s$!@. I’m proud of you for keeping your cool. Totally unprofessional on his part.
Best part is that you are going to rock that new position while growing a human and he’ll still be the jealous little weasel d&@%.

stephanie123456 · June 2019

@jenferlee82 You are a stronger woman than me to deal with that butthead.

jenferlee82 · June 2019

@Cass005 A smart ass HR person is the best kind of HR person in my opinion!

prpl11butterfly · June 2019

@jenferlee82 that is definitely some jealousy s$&% right there. I'm sorry you have to put up with him.

My TW nomination is going out to N's mother. I asked her today if we could have her home early Sunday since its fathers day. She told me she already had plans (btw, shes single -so no potential father figure to celebrate- and her real dad doesn't even live anywhere near here). I asked if she could bring her home at any point before the norm because I think she should get to spend some time with MH (the only father she's had for 8 effing years) and her response was "well I would have appreciated a call on mothers day and didn't get that. She'll be home a half hour early". Seriously? Shes 10.5 and knows full well she could have asked to call but she didn't. I'm not forcing her or pressuring her to do something she isn't feeling up too. She's going to play this petty game and the only one getting hurt is N. I can't make DS not celebrate fathers day until she's home. That would be totally unfair to him and I refuse to make him suffer for that. But when N does ask or mention not being involved, I'm sure as hell going to make sure she knows I asked. I'll let her read the damn messages too.

jenferlee82 · June 2019

@prpl11butterfly Ugh that sounds insanely frustrating. It seems very selfish of her since YH is YN's father figure and I'm sure they would really enjoy celebrating each other. Clearly she is only thinking about herself and not her daughter.

ETA: 10.5 seems plenty old enough to let your N decide for herself if she wants to make a Mother's Day call, and clearly she didn't. So her mother should be focused on why that is, not how she can exact "revenge" for it!

prpl11butterfly · June 2019

@jenferlee82 I agree. I'm not expert but I am 99% sure she fits the diagnosis of a narcissist. We tried to have force a phsyc eval on her and they wouldn't do it.

cheznet · June 2019

My TW is the person who almost opened their car door into me while I was biking home from work. I swore at them and kept biking and someone else in the bike lane came up behind me to commiserate.

PSA: Always look out your rearview or turn your head when you park by a bike lane so you don't seriously injure a cyclist by opening your door!! (And worse, potentially, their growing baby!!)

junebabyh · June 2019

I was so busy today that I couldn't chime in anywhere, but here I am at 10pm and my TW from last night is still bothering me... it's DH and SIL! We have a wedding in two week for a friend of DH's from high school and college. I don't want to miss this wedding. It's going to be so fun, and fancy, and many of our friends will be there, plus a night out with no kids sounds fab. But going to that wedding means that we are missing the wedding of an old family friend of mine, which my dad is officiating btw. We decided to go to the post-wedding brunch for the family friend the next day since we can't attend the wedding. WELL, my SIL just planned her baby's baptism for the same date and time as this brunch. And now DH is refusing to go to the brunch, saying a family baptism is too important to miss--he is not the godfather and this is her 4th child. I can obviously choose to go to the brunch without him, but he won't go. I am sooooo mad. He's not usually a jerk, but he is so damn stubborn. Am I overreacting ??? My feeling is a) we have already rsvp'd to this brunch, b) we are a team/package and we go to events like this together, c) I'm going to his friend's thing, and he should suck it up and go to my friend's thing, d) his sister planned this baptism a week ago, while the brunch has been planned for months...
Side note, @jenferlee82 Holy S. That is insane what happened to you today and i feel like HR should know about it.

emily1052 · June 2019

@junebabyh I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. If you’ve rsvp’d then you should go and YH should go with you. You don’t want to mess with good etiquette juju.

trapperkeeper87 · June 2019

@junebabyh I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I had a similar situation several years ago. My best friend growing up was getting married and my, at the time, soon-to-be mother-in-law planned her son's joint (both bride and groom) bridal shower for the same evening. She asked me about two months in advance if I had anything planned that month, and I told her a wedding, but that I wasn't sure on the date. I honestly wasn't sure why she asked, so that's on me for not clarifying. Regardless, I was TICKED.

I was made to feel like I was being selfish for wanting to go to my friend's wedding and reception because I hadn't stayed in close - just causal - contact with her through the years (but she has always had a special place in my heart and still does). We made it to my friend's wedding, but had to skip the reception.

Oh, and I should add, the bridal shower they had was for the bride and groom to open CARDS with PICTURES of the gifts they were getting, since they lived states away and everything was being shipped or had already been received. It was a complete waste of my time, truthfully.

I still hold a grudge. Clearly. But I guess I can offer some advice after all: do what feels right to you, go with your heart, and make peace with your decision before the day of the event. Don't let other people dictate your actions or how you should feel about something that means something to you. Life is too short to focus on the petty times.

I lost my first husband to addiction, and while I'm very happy with the newest chapters of my life, I still have to remind myself daily to be thankful for the moments I get in this life, both alone and with my spouse.

mrsinterweb · June 2019

@jenferlee82 What a complete and utter a-hole! I'm so angry for you! And to bring your pregnancy into it?? Efff that guy!!! Please do not let the verbal diarrhea of this douche-nozzle phase you or shake your confidence. You got this!

@junebabyh I agree with you and all of your points. I would be upset as well. Hopefully he will come around? Ugh to stubborn spouses!

jenferlee82 · June 2019

@junebabyh I don’t think you are overreacting at all! Especially because you guys RSVP’d for the brunch. I think @meagan-t said it incredibly well above and add my vote to her perspective.

greenbean-2 · June 2019

@junebabyh I don’t think you’re overreacting. If you had found out about both events around the same time and had to decide which one to go to, that would have been different. But given that the baptism was planned so last minute, and you’ve already committed to something else, your DH should be going with you. I agree with others - go by yourself and don’t let this take away from your enjoyment of the day.

prpl11butterfly · June 2019

@junebabyh I think an event planned and RSVP'd to trumps an event planned last minute. You promised them you'd be there, they are paying for you to be fed and it would be bad taste to not go because of this. SIL should have checked to see if everyone was available since it was such short notice.

junebabyh · June 2019

Thanks for the validation, ladies. I knew (thought) I wasn't crazy. I have cooled off a bit, so will bring it up again tonight.

Cass005 · June 2019

@cheznet That's awful, I always try to give extra room when a cyclist is near by. I'm terrified that they will make one swift move and I'll hit them.

SLou24 · June 2019

@jenferlee82 holy moly. I’m just reading this and I’m outraged for you!! I definitely think that could be taken to HR, although I know that also sometimes creates waves that end up being detrimental. Anyway, what a horrible conversation to have to have with someone whom you trusted/respected as a colleague!

cooaladolly · June 2019

@jenferlee82, @prpl11butterfly, @cheznet & @junebabyh I'm amazed at the balls of each of your TW's! I really don't have any good responses back myself, but our ladies have name calling on lock! I laughed quite a few times at the creative curses being thrown. What awesome support!

perfectlove09 · June 2019

Someone please remind me what TW stands for 🤦🏻‍♀️

perfectlove09 · June 2019

Wait. Tw*t waffle? Or something? ℓσℓ

jenferlee82 · June 2019

perfectlove09 said:

Wait. Tw*t waffle? Or something? ℓσℓ

Yep! 😁

perfectlove09 · June 2019

jenferlee82 said:

perfectlove09 said:

Wait. Tw*t waffle? Or something? ℓσℓ

Yep! 😁

THANK YOU! It’s amazing the things you forget over the years. I decided to go back and look through my last two bump boards and wow. I’d completely blocked out the huge shit storm that happened, that’s when we migrated to a Facebook group, or around that time. I remember now they were trying to stop people from even creating FB groups and I don’t believe they had private groups here on the bump before that. Crazy what you forget about.

sammygirl18 · June 2019

Yikes! While entertaining, hopefully no one has stories for tomorrow! I can’t believe some people!

Want a personalized experience?

TW Tuesday

Re: TW Tuesday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards