@AKuzReve I feel the same way. But also, kinda bummed that July is moving...I've been stalking them for a while now (ok, since the beginning) because even though this is #3, I like seeing what's coming!
@AKuzReve I lurk other BMBs, as well. I still can't decide where I stand on the FB move. I *think* I like it, but am just so curious about what the requirements would be for members to be added. I'm not interested in sharing my FB life with someone who has only posted in here a couple of times.
@oklahomak, absolutely agree. July did a 100 post minimum for reference. I’d want to be strict on it. While you can limit who sees what on your profile, we will still be sharing private info, names, pictures, etc.
@oklahomak most of the times there is a vetting process. The best I have seen has been when a small group of regulars become admins and create the FB group. Then on here, create a thread where people can request to join. The admins discuss if they are familiar enough (aka pretty regular posters) to be added to the group.
It can be awkward and lots of people think its harsh (mainly the infrequent posters and lurkers...its amazing how many lurkers pop out just in time for the FB move). But it's really the safest way to do it. And, you dont have to be friends with everyone (or anyone) in the FB group so your profile can still remain private. I believe I had to friend one admin to get into the group last time, then could unfriend once the invite was accepted. But that was a few years ago...not sure if FB has changed how private/secret groups are set up.
@sourlemon@AKuzReve That makes sense! Facebook's Secret Groups do have some good rules, and keep non-admin members from being able to add anyone, which is nice.
I lurked every month so much with my last pregnancy, but this time I have just felt so much busier I haven't had the time. I'm sure having a toddler has something to do with it.
I personally think FB is easier to keep up with, but there is definitely an element of concern as there could be crazies around.
My UO: I don't like showers. Bridal or baby. I find them boring and awkward. Whether it is someone else's or my own. I do prefer the idea of co-ed showers with beer and a bbq or something, but sadly I haven't had many friends do those. I guess I just think the games and watching people open gifts is brutal.
Lol! If I don’t know you by now, sorry! I also judge the quality of posts. I think I’m harsh but I’ll blame Dutch directness 😂😂
I think to create a group, you have to friend 1 person but then can add anyone via email without friending them. So theoretically only 2 people have to be friends to create a secret group.
@mkrel I agree on the showers. My "bridal shower" was just my bridal party and my mom going to a spa (it was a surprise for me) then dinner that night. It was perfect. 6 people, minimal gifts, and pretty low on the attention scale. My first baby shower was a pretty big thing, but it was co-ed so that helped a lot. We played some "manly games" and some of the regular games, but none of them were "sit down and play OR ELSE", it was all intermixed with food and drinking and the Final 4 on the TV. Most people did come into the room when we were opening gifts, but some chose to keep watching the game. I had a little surprise sprinkle for DD2 (also co-ed) and it was more of a casual lunch and a diaper shower, so no gift opening. It was small (like 8 non-family people and 3 of those were kids).
UO: I dont like showers (like the get yourself clean kind) and prefer baths. I take a bath 90% of the time and dread the post partum period when I have to take showers only.
@mkrel I would venture to guess most people feel the same re: awkwardness at bridal/baby showers. I wish there was a way to not open the gifts at the shower without seeming rude, especially to older guests. I promise I will love and appreciate the gift just as much if opened at home!
@sourlemon Whaaaaat. I'm the exact opposite when it comes to showers versus baths. I probably take five baths a year but covet my nightly shower routine. Before taking a bath, I have to shower completely otherwise I feel like I'm sitting in my own wet dirt. Not that there's often any dirt accumulated from my desk job I'm considering asking if I can spend the early stages of labor in the shower until it's time to push.
I'm also sad that July is moving bc i lurk them too and even though a bunch say they'll participate in both, the bmb usually fizzles pretty fast.
My last bmb didn't even have a public thread, I don't think. A few STM regs just PMed a bunch of other regs on TB and those who wanted to moved over to fb. Then we had "what about X?" nominations and invites from there. When the mbm was a ghost town a few people posted asking about where everyone went....awkward 😬😂
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@mkrel, same! I had to limit my sister to 1 game as it is all I can tolerate, no present opening, and tons of food and good drinks. I wanted a party lol. Otherwise I get bored!
@sourlemon I don't ever take baths. Every so often one sounds good, but it is rare. When we were buying our house we had the option to do a bath and separate shower, or an extra large shower which is what we chose. Our realtor told us that MOST people prefer showers to baths, but I know there is a segment of the population like yourself that would hate our master bathroom and probably not buy the house because we don't have a big tub in there! We do have two other tubs in the house though.
@mkrel I would certainly never buy a house if the master didnt have a bath. It doesnt have to be a huge bath, but there has to be one. My tub is pretty big, but I didnt go for a jetted tub when we remodeled (because they are impossible to really clean). I also enjoy taking baths with my kids when they are young...and when Im not pregnant! There's no room for 2 kids plus my belly haha.
DH hates baths and only showers. It's his major flaw haha. jk. I know most people prefer showers and I'm just weird.
@AKuzReve Funny you mention the move to FB, b/c I was JUST thinking about it this morning.
I’m about ready for the jump, since I’m on FB all the time anyway to arrange play dates with my local SAHM group. I don’t care how it gets done, as long as I’m included 😂😂
@mkrel We’re doing a co-ed fiesta baby shower at the end of the month. The game will be a piñata (and maybe guess the birth date). There will be beer and margaritas. I requested the type of baby shower I would want to attend, HA
@mkrel I'm sort of on the fence about showers. I don't like having all the attention on me, and it's really weird opening gifts in front of people, but on the other hand I do appreciate that people just want to celebrate with me. For my wedding I had two showers, one in the town where I lived with mostly friends of DH's mom, and another in San Francisco with my friends and family. We didn't separate them on purpose, that's just how it worked out, but I did really appreciate that they were both small, with probably 10 or fewer people. A former coworker told me about her bridal shower that had more than 50 people attend, and that just sounded awful to me.
@sourlemon@oklahomak I love both baths and showers!! Baths are mostly a winter thing for me though because I'm always freezing cold, so one of my favourite things to do on weekends is to take a long soak in a bath that's as hot as I can stand it. Even in summer, I like to take hot baths occasionally. I haven't taken a bath since finding out I'm pregnant though, because I definitely run them hotter than my doctor said was okay. For everyday cleaning, though, definitely showers.
I'm always sad when the move to FB comes up, because I don't have an account... I agree on the bridal/baby shower. Thankfully my culture doesn't do baby showers, but I refused to let my friends throw me a bridal shower. DH's aunts kept saying it was a mistake, people want to buy you things, you'll have fun. I was like I always hate attending them, they are so awkward and/or boring, I hate the fact I'm expected to purchase a shower gift, and a wedding gift, and if anyone really loves/likes us enough to get us gifts they can do so without the party. I have never regretted that decision. I do like baths, but usually don't have the patience for them. Also the one in our house is tiny and is in the boy's bathroom, master has just a shower. I keep telling DH when we redo our bathroom I want a huge bath, but he keeps telling me there isn't really room for it.
Now y’all have me lurking on other boards. September has a whole twins thread! They have like, 4 sets over there! I’m feeling a little lonely now.
I’m pro-showers of all varieties (wedding, baby, the kind w/ water 🚿). I’m weird and enjoy watching other ppl open gifts to see what they registered for (and silently judge or agree with their decisions, lol).
@mrosek91, would you be open to a FB account that just doesn’t have your info/name? A dummy account. Lol. I couldn’t think of the word. I know some on July have done that. (Seriously - how do I remember this stuff yet can’t do my actual work that should be done - maybe this is my UO)
I do not like baths at all. I get overheated and dizzy and then I get bored and cold. I do love showering though which is why I shower 2 times a day.
@AKuzReve I know the dummy account makes some people uncomfortable because now they are sharing their personal info/photos etc with someone that isn't willing to do the same if that makes sense. Now if it actually had real info and was just used for the group I think that would be different.
+1 to the not-a-fan-of-baby-showers group. It's funny because I was literally just texting my husband saying that I want to cancel my shower. My MIL is insisting I have one, so she arranged a brunch at a restaurant. I only invited a handful of people because I wanted to keep costs down (MIL's gesture is generous, but she's also very weird with money) and I'm also the type of person that feels awkward being the center of attention. I'll also be 37 weeks and I don't think my mom can make it and my MIL won't let me invite a family friend because she's currently in a fight with her. Sorry this turned into a mini-bitchfest
@AKuzReve@mkrel I have been toying with the idea of making an account just to keep in touch with you ladies. If I did I would make it real, I agree it's not fair to see all your personal information without sharing my own. But part of me feels like I managed to make it this long without an account, why am I giving in now? Also, DH works in internet security, and I am terrified of the amount of information Facebook collects on its users. Anyway I keep procrastinating the decision... I tend to overthink decisions, and then give in and do the thing I was scared to do at like 10 o'clock at night when I'm tired, and don't have any willpower, so that's probably what will happen here...
@mkrel, yeah I get that too. I think it would have to be very limited to those we really “know” like @mrosek91 and then there would be an expectation of sharing within the group. If any of that makes sense?
@AKuzReve I agree. @mrosek91 DO IT!!!! Seriously though, FB does creep me out sometimes. My husband and I will have conversations about things that I know for a fact I have not looked up, and then the next day I'll see an ad on my FB for it. They have to be listening....
@mrosek91, I get it. My FB is primarily used for expat groups and to update my non-IG family on our happenings over here in the Netherlands. You’ve just been a great regular for so long so it would be sad to not have you move with us!
I feel like we are in an epic game of chicken right now. Should we - or shouldnt we - create a FB group. I'll make a separate thread for discussion to see how many people would be interested in jumping now vs later vs never.
@mkrel the technology is definitely listening! I made a joke to DH the other day about wearing a condom because I was feeling lazy about clean-up. We havent spoken of condoms or bought them in forever. The next day, every other ad on facebook was for Trojan!
Pros: most people feel that FB is much more user friendly, what you post is private (in a secret group v open to the world here), and you get to know people better once you connect names and faces...or people just share more/differently in that setting.
Cons: some people dont have FB, some people (non-regulars) may feel left out, and even with the best vetting there may still be a crazy person slip through (I havent experienced this though with good vetting).
I'll post this on the new FB thread but I'd like to keep things here for at least another month or so? I'm in favor of the FB move in general but it feels early to me. Most of us are barely starting our third tri, and I associate the FB move with the actual newborn baby stage because that's when things get REALLY intimate haha.
@AKuzReve Thank you so much!! It's nice to feel appreciate. @mkrel yeah, I'm already getting the creepy, we were just talking about that ads from Google, so I guess what's one more website? I probably will give in once we actually make the move... but still not 100% there yet. @thirdtimesacharm2019 this is really only very tangentially related, but talking about peer pressure... it's just too funny I need to share. This is from DS#1's playgroup WhatsApp group for the parents. A few weeks ago we had a discussion about where DS#1 learned Baby Shark since we refuse to play it in the house. Then this happened today. (The reply is from the teacher)
mrosek91
member
Re: UO 5/30
also clearly I read other BMBs.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
It can be awkward and lots of people think its harsh (mainly the infrequent posters and lurkers...its amazing how many lurkers pop out just in time for the FB move). But it's really the safest way to do it. And, you dont have to be friends with everyone (or anyone) in the FB group so your profile can still remain private. I believe I had to friend one admin to get into the group last time, then could unfriend once the invite was accepted. But that was a few years ago...not sure if FB has changed how private/secret groups are set up.
I personally think FB is easier to keep up with, but there is definitely an element of concern as there could be crazies around.
My UO: I don't like showers. Bridal or baby. I find them boring and awkward. Whether it is someone else's or my own. I do prefer the idea of co-ed showers with beer and a bbq or something, but sadly I haven't had many friends do those. I guess I just think the games and watching people open gifts is brutal.
I think to create a group, you have to friend 1 person but then can add anyone via email without friending them. So theoretically only 2 people have to be friends to create a secret group.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
UO: I dont like showers (like the get yourself clean kind) and prefer baths. I take a bath 90% of the time and dread the post partum period when I have to take showers only.
@sourlemon Whaaaaat. I'm the exact opposite when it comes to showers versus baths. I probably take five baths a year but covet my nightly shower routine. Before taking a bath, I have to shower completely otherwise I feel like I'm sitting in my own wet dirt. Not that there's often any dirt accumulated from my desk job
My last bmb didn't even have a public thread, I don't think. A few STM regs just PMed a bunch of other regs on TB and those who wanted to moved over to fb. Then we had "what about X?" nominations and invites from there. When the mbm was a ghost town a few people posted asking about where everyone went....awkward 😬😂
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
DH hates baths and only showers. It's his major flaw haha. jk. I know most people prefer showers and I'm just weird.
I’m about ready for the jump, since I’m on FB all the time anyway to arrange play dates with my local SAHM group. I don’t care how it gets done, as long as I’m included 😂😂
(ETA: birth date, not due date)
I agree on the bridal/baby shower. Thankfully my culture doesn't do baby showers, but I refused to let my friends throw me a bridal shower. DH's aunts kept saying it was a mistake, people want to buy you things, you'll have fun. I was like I always hate attending them, they are so awkward and/or boring, I hate the fact I'm expected to purchase a shower gift, and a wedding gift, and if anyone really loves/likes us enough to get us gifts they can do so without the party. I have never regretted that decision.
I do like baths, but usually don't have the patience for them. Also the one in our house is tiny and is in the boy's bathroom, master has just a shower. I keep telling DH when we redo our bathroom I want a huge bath, but he keeps telling me there isn't really room for it.
I’m pro-showers of all varieties (wedding, baby, the kind w/ water 🚿). I’m weird and enjoy watching other ppl open gifts to see what they registered for (and silently judge or agree with their decisions, lol).
I do not like baths at all. I get overheated and dizzy and then I get bored and cold. I do love showering though which is why I shower 2 times a day.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
But part of me feels like I managed to make it this long without an account, why am I giving in now? Also, DH works in internet security, and I am terrified of the amount of information Facebook collects on its users.
Anyway I keep procrastinating the decision... I tend to overthink decisions, and then give in and do the thing I was scared to do at like 10 o'clock at night when I'm tired, and don't have any willpower, so that's probably what will happen here...
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@mrosek91 DO IT!!!! Seriously though, FB does creep me out sometimes. My husband and I will have conversations about things that I know for a fact I have not looked up, and then the next day I'll see an ad on my FB for it. They have to be listening....
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@mkrel yeah, I'm already getting the creepy, we were just talking about that ads from Google, so I guess what's one more website? I probably will give in once we actually make the move... but still not 100% there yet.
@thirdtimesacharm2019 this is really only very tangentially related, but talking about peer pressure... it's just too funny I need to share. This is from DS#1's playgroup WhatsApp group for the parents. A few weeks ago we had a discussion about where DS#1 learned Baby Shark since we refuse to play it in the house. Then this happened today. (The reply is from the teacher)