MBF, 5/20

RedBreast35 · May 2019

Anyone wanna bitch about something?

complain bobs burgers GIF

cheshyre319 · May 2019

My mom is visiting with my nephew. I love the kid, but he aggravates the crap outta me! She keeps telling me that it's different when they are yours and you build up a tolerance to the annoying things.

Also, cleaning, painting, and moving this week. Because being tired from growing humans is apparently not enough.

themadcamel · May 2019

Image: https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BlackandwhiteThankfulIrukandjijellyfish-small.gif

Ooh, I do, I do!!!

This is a long one... I had a panic attack late Friday afternoon because I could not stop being anxious about becoming a mom (will I be a good mom? will I like it? will I love her? will she love me? will I ever be the same person?). H came home from work a couple of hours later. I could tell he was stressed (there's been a lot going on at his work lately) so I didn't say anything and let him unwind for a bit. I started getting overwhelmed and anxious again so I sought him out to talk about it and started crying like immediately. He said he couldn't deal with another thing going wrong with his day and basically told me to leave him be. Like, DUDE, I wasn't having a little case of the blues, I was fucking dying inside and needed to not feel completely alone. He started going on about how he needs me to be giving him positive energy when he comes home instead of negative energy. What the actual fucking fuck?! I know it's difficult for him to process negative emotions and deal with his own stress, but I really needed him that day. For once I just wanted him to put his shit aside and see that I couldn't cope. He started drinking and crying and was completely flooded and shutting down (I swear, he's like a fucking malfunctioning robot sometimes). He went to bed, but I couldn't be at home with him because I knew I'd just keep trying to talk with him and I was starting to get pissed at this point. I ended up spending the night in a hotel because my closest friends were out having fun (as they should be!) and I didn't want my parents to know (my mom would've held it against H forever). All is well now and we talked about things on Saturday, but goddammit I was ready to kill him.

themadcamel · May 2019

@cheshyre319 man I really hope that the tolerance thing is true. The shit my students do sometimes drives me bonkers, and I don't even have to live with them! Hope your move goes well!!

nomangos23 · May 2019

@cheshyre319 Bless you, woman. I was about to bitch that I had to travel for work this week but I feel like cleaning, painting and moving takes the cake. GOOD LUCK. And I hope you're moving somewhere perfect.

Retracting my Monday BF because it doesn't hold a candle to @chesyre's week

threes_companypu · May 2019

@cheshyre319 it really is true when they say it is totally different when it’s your own (even though they’ll get on your nerves too lol). I recently babysat my friends 2 kids who I love and the whole time I was thinking “holy cow these kids are annoying” lol. Something about growing a human gives me a short fuse! I hope you can get some peace and still enjoy your family’s company! Also, yay for moving! Moving while pregnant is no fun, but at least you get out of any heavy lifting 😉

A bandmate of my husbands has come under fire from an acquaintance and unfortunately DH is guilty by association. His band member was definitely in the wrong, but the drama that has unfolded is out of control and now I’ve been wrongfully roped in. I swear I thought drama was a thing of the past and definitely not anything I thought I’d be dealing with as a pregnant 29yo married mother. Annoying and the last thing I want to deal with!

cmdesigner · May 2019

@themadcamel I'm so sorry. That's rough. MH is also kind of robotic and has difficulty processing but then explodes and it can be beyond frustrating. Sometimes it feels like I am alone and just...dealing. But you aren't alone! The good (?) news is that your feelings are completely normal.

Mine is a bit TMI so proceed with caution.

In terms of my own bitching...which has to do with MH...I am just not into sexy time right now and it feels like he's trying so hard to pressure me into having sex. I've been having major pubic bone and hip pain and just getting up from sitting hurts...and he thinks I want to have sex? No. I even mentioned that it's bad enough I should probably go back to PT. All weekend long he kept literally cornering me and trying to go at it. Like a horny 16 year old. It was nuts. I finally snapped at him today (at 6:30am after a night of it being ridiculously hot in our bedroom where I did NOT sleep well) and told him to take a hint but then he pouted all morning. Seriously? The worst part about this all is that we literally had a conversation about me not having much sex drive lately and he was very much "I just want to feel close and intimate to you, even if it's just cuddling" and then he tries jumping me like 5-6 times this weekend. Dude. Back off.

LJMoon6 · May 2019

@themadcamel I’m sorry you had to deal with a crappy, unsupportive husband. I totally get needing to be away. I usually go for a drive when I can’t stand being around MH. I’d rather be alone otherwise I know I’ll say something I’ll regret later. I’m freaked out about becoming a mom too. I think that’s completely normal.

My BF is the random vomiting in the middle of the night last night. No idea why (I haven’t puked from MS this entire pregnancy). I feel fine today. Of course this weekend was a tiring one and I really needed some sleep (my mom and I tore apart the nursery, ripped off the trim, sanded them down and then painted those and the ceiling and walls). I’m running on fumes today and the damn barista goes and puts way too much caramel in my latte, I can’t drink the damn thing! And then the stupid meeting I didn’t want to miss today gets cancelled so I could have stayed home! Grr.

threes_companypu · May 2019

@themadcamel I’m just echoing what @cmdesigner said in that you’re not alone! DH is very similar in that he is not keen to my emotions. I was venting to him the other day about a struggle with DS and instead of being supportive he said “you’re really bumming me out” I wish I had some words of advice or encouragement, but just know we are right there with you! I’m glad you guys are able to communicate effectively after cooling down. Maybe he will learn from this!

@cmdesigner my reply is in the spoiler

I’m sorry you’re going through this! I had a similar issue with DH when I was pregnant with DS. I had a golf ball size bartholin cyst which left barely any room for penetration and when we did have it, it was very painful. DH just couldn’t get the hint and was the same way. I hope your husband can get the hint! He needs to get used to it because sex with a baby is last priority! I think it’s harder for them to cope because they aren’t the ones whose bodies already feel like a parent. Hopefully he can be more sensitive to your needs soon!

RedBreast35 · May 2019

My LTs are hugs ladies

@cheshyre319 moving and painting is a special kind of torture and I'm so sorry you're stuck with it this week!!
@themadcamel WTF to your husband! I'd glad you guys were able to talk it out and it's OK now, but having him react like that would infuriate me too. Like others have said, it's so normal to freak about becoming a mom (and then to freak once LO is here about every.little.thing!) I'm sorry your H wasn't able to be there and supportive for you when you needed it!
@duewithpu2 no thanks on that kind of drama as an adult! Sorry you're dealing with it lady

@cmdesigner I wish men could understand what pregnancy does to our bodies and sometimes have a little more compassion. My poor DH hasn't got any once since I got pregnant, but he at least understands that I'm physically miserable when I'm KU so he doesn't push it.

blitzybee · May 2019

@cheshyre319 your own kids will be different. And sometimes you’ll even take a break from your own kids! Pregnancy makes us all need more breaks from people because we are working so danged hard to grow humans that we don’t have the energy and tolerance for other stuff sometimes. Good luck with the whole moving process!

@themadcamel Completely normal to have those feelings about motherhood, and to have anxiety. In my first trimester, I was SO isolated with my sick kid and being sick myself. I reached out to my husband and told him how awful I was feeling mentally...like not in my right mind awful, and he pretty much pushed me over the edge. Like if I had been dangling from a cliff holding on with 1 finger, he plucked that finger off and watched me fall. I get the stress that they have, but it shocks me sometimes when a person can’t look outside themselves for just a minute to realize something awful is going on with their loves ones. I don’t know, I think a lot of men struggle to realize when others are suffering, but it would be good if your husband could realize what all happened next time you both are calm, so maybe he can see those signs coming and realize he needs to drop everything and pay attention. It’s good to have those conversations, if you think he’ll be receptive! Now I have other go-to supports, and just skip my husband. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad! Im glad you are doing a bit better today, and am really sorry you had to go through that alone.

@nomangos23 all bitching accepted!! Haha, let it out!

@cmdesigner feel much like you’re talking to a wall!? Good he wants to be close and he clearly finds you attractive! But look, don’t touch, dude! And shut up, too! Things must be so simple in their minds that they don’t get it. I try to give them grace, but man it’s hard when ya feel like crap and aren’t being validated.

Edited out some husband details..sometimes I don’t know how much to share on a public forum, but love sharing with so many of you here!

nomangos23 · May 2019

@themadcamel Same. You're not alone. My DH has trouble setting his work/personal stresses aside to make time for me/us stresses. We've been to couples therapy a few times (honestly, SO helpful) and have learned when he's in a stressed out mood, I have to "make an appointment" if I need him for something. That usually looks like "Hey, I'm really struggling with something that happened today and I want to talk to you about it. Let me know when you can chat." 90% of the time he does whatever he needs to do to decompress (usually a glass of whiskey) before he's "ready". It's basically my way of saying "Make room for me you bastard" in a very nice way. MOST wives don't need to "schedule time" with their significant others, but I found it's the only way to get the result I want from DH. Anything else would have ended with me having very hurt feelings.

@blitzybee I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Big big hugs to you as you work through this challenging time.

@LJMoon6 Ummm wtf to your random vom. I had that happen only once in my first pregnancy but I'm 90% sure it was because I ate a super flavorful and heavy meal, plus I was in my first tri then. Also, your barista needs to get. it. together. We get one coffee a day, there's no room for error.

I did think of a Monday BF. My dad and stepmom have so very kindly offered to order my nursery crib and dresser for us. However my step mom won't actually order it and the items keep going out of stock. She keeps saying she's waiting for sales that are never scheduled to happen. Now the items are out of stock until July. I feel like I can't do anything to the nursery until I have his furniture in it (to determine how much room is left, what walls they fit best on, etc) I know July is still plenty of time but I feel very behind and a little panicky.

ETA another BF.

My husband just fessed up to spending our entire tax refund that was supposed to go to savings for baby. He bought a golf cart. What the f*ck. I'm boarder line tears at work.

lillywonderland · May 2019

@themadcamel hugs! Dudes sometimes can’t process their own emotions let alone someone else’s. Everyone has those moments of doubt that you are experiencing, TRUST ME. But you know what the great thing is? (Lol, hear me out...) Because you are having some panic/anxiety about your transition to motherhood you are already showing the outside world that you love your daughter with a passion because you are worrying about her. You will be the same person, just a bit modified (...but it’s not that bad!!)

@cheshyre319 Super mom already! I’m glad you’re moving out of that house, but it just sucks to have to do it right now (...but at least it’s not August and you’re a ticking time bomb! 😉)

@LJMoon6 I’m so sorry you took a ride on the vomit comet this am.

@cmdesignerIs there any other way you can *ahem* satisfy his horny teenage need by going to third base?

FWIW, my DS annoys me at least once a day (toddler, ‘nuff said) but then will do the sweetest/cutest thing and it’s like all the annoying crap he just did melts away. 🥰

RedBreast35 · May 2019

@blitzybee I'm so sorry things aren't feeling better with your husband. Is he making any progress?

blitzybee · May 2019

@RedBreast35 He’s all over the place. Unfortunately our mental health system takes WAY TOO LONG to get people in for help, which is sad because he wants the support and help. And his family practice doctor tries to help with medication, but I think it’s making it worse because she doesn’t know how to properly prescribe for this. Thanks for checking in.

@lillywonderland your whole post hits the nail on the head!!

@nomangos23 AHHH!!! WTF!? Way to give an unnecessary adrenaline boost to you on that one. I think men see baby coming, and have little mid life crises sometimes!!?! Thanks for sending some love my way!

RedBreast35 · May 2019

@nomangos23 your second MBF. Wut? Is he f*cking serious? Nonono, that is not ok.

threes_companypu · May 2019

@nomangos23 he better have kept that receipt!!!

kgg2241 · May 2019

@nomangos23 holy shit. I would be in tears too. That is a major purchase that he shouldn't have made without consulting you. Not okay.

blitzybee · May 2019

And this weather! I need some sunshine!!!!

zuuls_mom · May 2019

@cmdesigner I feel you on the teenager horny husband! It's soooo annoying. Like, dude I am puking my brains out most days and you still want to get it on? I've been trying really hard to keep the "spark" alive and we've still been having sex, but it's been frustrating to say the least.

@themadcamel I am so sorry that your H was being WAY less than helpful! You need support right now and news flash to him, the newborn phase is going to be survival mode for a bit and he better buckle up!

@nomangos23 HE BOUGHT A GOLF CART?! Does he want to get punched in the throat? Cause that's how you get punched in the throat. I am SO sorry. He better feel horrible!

@blitzybee Girl, yes. Where is our sunshine!? My body is hating this yo-yo weather.

My MBF is related to work. This D-BAG guy that I only have to interact with here and there, thankfully. He makes things so hard and constantly contradicts himself because he can't intelligently explain what it is we need to do, so since we don't understand what it is he is asking for, we're the dumbasses. The worst part is he's bitching about this legal verbiage not being included on our quotes saying it's supposed to have been there, but he literally just said something about it and we've been doing these for A YEAR. Our legal team supposedly had this info (according to him), but they didn't and are now scrambling to write it for us. I'm just so sick of how he conducts business.

blitzybee · May 2019

@zuuls_mom wow. Sounds like a real idiot. What a waste of time. The art of communication seems quite lost these days! Or, he just doesn’t know so he just talks in circles to avoid taking responsibility. Integrity seems to be the main thing on my mind to instill in my boys these days! I’m realizing the importance and lack of it in my life!

themadcamel · May 2019

You guys are the best. It’s nice to have people who understand what you’re going through!

@zuuls_mom that guy sounds like an idiot. I hate when people try to make others looks bad because of their own stupidity.
@lillywonderland that made me feel a lot better! Also your colorful “vomit comet” expression. 😂
@nomangos23 duuuuuude your husband! Oh my god I hope he returns that golf cart. You should make an appointment with him to discuss that for sure! 😟
@blitzybee totally agree that a lot of men (at least most of the ones I know!) have trouble connecting with others’ emotions and stress. This is a “perpetual issue” (to use couples therapy language) for us. You’re right— it is great that we can talk about it rationally after the fact, but it still sucks in the moment. Hugs to you and sending sunshine your way. 🌈
@LJMoon6 sounds like you had an annoying morning! Hope the day got better 🥳.
@cmdesigner ugh I’m sorry YH is having trouble keeping it in his pants. Mine gets obnoxiously horny too, but thankfully he’s been good about it while I’ve been pregnant. The worst is that when the tables are turned, he can reject my advances with no problem but will guilt trip me if I’m not trying to have sexytime.
@duewithpu2 sorry about the band drama. It sounds petty for sure.

cheshyre319 · May 2019

I 💙 all of you. Thank you for being such an amazing and supportive group of women!

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