PGAL Check In w/o 5/6

nomangos23 · May 2019

I realize many have passed early developmental milestones, but there are other milestones that can make PGAL harder than anticipated.

How are your hearts ladies? Anything bothering you? Any milestones coming up? We're all ears.

nomangos23 · May 2019

Saw @zuuls_mom comment about baby's due date and having more feels than you thought you would.

I'm about to pass my last loss milestone (21 weeks) and my heart is much heavier than I anticipated it would be. I though I'd be relieved to pass it, but instead I feel like it makes Angel baby less important? It's a hard feeling to describe. Also, this milestone will be the same week that we should be celebrating her first birthday. My heart

zuuls_mom · May 2019

@nomangos23 I want to give you a bajillion hugs right now. It's so hard to know how the grief will manifest and it really is so conflicting feeling so sad about something and yet so excited for something else. Your Angel will ALWAYS be important to you. I had a good cry off and on throughout the day so just prepare for random unexpected triggers and bouts of crying, but let yourself think of her and be sad. As hard as yesterday was, I also felt like it was cathartic in a way. So much love to you.

lillywonderland · May 2019

@nomangos23, @zuuls_mom I am so so sorry that you both have had a very hard road thus far in your expansion of your families. Know that we all love you dearly! Both of your angels are looking out for you and your babies. They will always be their older, protective siblings. ❤️

kgg2241 · May 2019

@nomangos23 @zuuls_mom Sending you both such big hugs. I'm not great with words, but nothing can replace your angels and your grief is completely appropriate and valid. 💕

AFM, I am doing okay. This is super trivial, but I've been struggling to decide if I want to share about our loss and infertility struggles on social media around Mother's Day. I was thinking about sharing the sweetest video of my twin finding out I was pregnant with our angel. I feel a weird pull to, but I also feel so delicate and fragile. I don't want to come off as an AW either. I am guessing I won't share, but it has been on my mind for sure.

nomangos23 · May 2019

@kgg2241 I understand that feeling. To this day I've still only shared one post (and only on Instagram, where most of my family isn't following me) about angel baby. I, too, felt a strong urge to share. And you're right, it's a very, very delicate decision and finding the right words to say is even harder than I imagined. (I'm not great with words either) I say, honor your angel however it feels appropriate. That could look like a lot of different things.

@zuuls_mom @lillywonderland

You ladies are the best, thank you for your kind, encouraging words.

zuuls_mom · May 2019

@kgg2241 I made the decision to be pretty public with what's happened - sort of inadvertently at first since I had announced the pregnancy two days before I found out I had lost him, but since then I have shared things here and there and it's been met with overwhelming support and love. I know a lot of other ladies I am friends with on FB have said they are proud of me and shared their stories too. I was worried about seeming like an AW also, but realized that by being vocal about this struggle, it not only brings awareness, but it also lets people know they're not alone.

kiddiesandkitties · May 2019

Huge, huge hugs @zuuls_mom @nomangos23. Milestones are so hard. We are all here for you and celebrate your beautiful angels.

I think its great and brave when people are honest about TTGP and loss on social media. I don't feel like it's AW-y at all - but obviously, it is entirely dependent on where your comfort level lies.

We have been talking about possibly 'announcing' on FB on Mother's Day and I'm undecided on how I feel about it. We had no choice but to be quite public about our loss just because of circumstances (it was much easier to share details on the services thru social media than try to remember and separately contact every person). Because of it, I have reservations about sharing early, or ever. A part of me wants to just announce the birth when it happens, but the other part feels like I want to be able to celebrate this baby publicly, no matter what.

jaykay2004 · May 2019

Hi, guys...I've been MIA for like a month. :-/
But, I'll be 22 weeks this week and anxiety is creeping back in. I'm 37, have some other health issues, and I'm just having a hard time believing that this baby will make it to full term. All my other losses were much earlier, but I'm mentally and physically miserable right now, and wondering how this will all turn out.

kgg2241 · May 2019

Thanks you guys. You are all so right. I think I'll see how I feel this weekend. I'm thinking it will just be something simple. I felt so alone (besides the support here), so I'm hoping sharing helps someone else feel not so lost. I also want to acknowledge this journey. It has been hard and I'm so thankful to be where we are at now.

@jaykay2004 I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Grief is definitely not linear and I think the emotions can hit anytime, regardless of when your milestones are. I wish I could give you a hug.

zuuls_mom · May 2019

@jaykay2004 welcome back! I am so sorry you're struggling. It's really hard to allow ourselves to be happy when it's been ripped away before. We're here for you though no matter what and sending lots of love!

cheshyre319 · May 2019

With all the insanity going on in GA law right now, I've suddenly felt the need to be very vocal about my Angels. It feels almost cathartic, to be able to make something personal to some friends who has no idea.

My dad was teasing me about my obsession with rainbows today too. In good fun, he's such a JustYes and has been so supportive. So I explained that a rainbow baby is a term for pregnancy after loss. And he immediately felt bad and wanted to make sure I knew he meant no harm and is now so behind the rainbows.

justhereforthemusic · May 2019

Sending everyone on here huge hugs.

My m/c was “early”, but I’m still literally checking the toilet paper every time I pee for spotting because that was my first sign last time. Last week I had some and I lost it. I couldn’t imagine why it was happening at 19 weeks and raced to my midwife. They found no source of it and a great 20 week anatomy scan this week assuaged my fear but I don’t think I’ve ever so quickly spiraled like that. I’m on Makena/progesterone shots because DS was a 35 weeker and some people have bad outcomes with them, so I get pretty concerned. Grateful for every kick and each step towards the goal.

nomangos23 · May 2019

@justhereforthemusic Sorry for the scare. I check the TP every time I go to the bathroom too, and probably will as long as I have a baby in tow. Its just second nature now. Big hugs and lots of finger crossed for a healthy, happy baby.

PGAL Check In w/o 5/6

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