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The Pain Hits You Like a Ton of Bricks

Mamaof2beautifulgirlsMamaof2beautifulgirls member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Hello all, 

It has been about four weeks since my miscarriage and I thought I was doing better emotionally. Then yesterday I get on Facebook and I see someone is pregnant and due date is in November (the same month as my loss). After seeing the post I felt my heart break into a million pieces. I have been so sad all day. 

I feel like such a selfish person because I am happy for my friend. I am just so sad over the little life I lost.... Thanks for letting me vent... No one understands the pain....
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Re: The Pain Hits You Like a Ton of Bricks

  • Mack2342Mack2342 member
    I’m sorry for your loss.  Those announcements suck and the feelings you are having are normal.  People don’t understand unless they have been through it.  With time it gets a little easier but it’s been 1.5 year since my last loss and those announcements are still hard.  Hang in there. 
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  • ReyesToyReyesToy member
    Sorry for your loss. It's so hard to put on a face for people. I too am due in November, but having a non-viable pregnancy (empty sac at 8wk transvaginal scan) Still awaiting my natural miscarriage, waiting about 3 weeks now and I don't even feel like I'm allowed to grieve yet since it hasn't happened, but I can't be happy at the same time. Did you miscarry naturally or with assistance? This is my first miscarriage (healthy 3yr old at home) so I'm scared to take the medication.

    Anyway, I hope it works out for us soon, hopefully before November so we're distracted then
    TTC #1 since 10/2012
    Diagnosed with PCOS on 4/2013, tried to correct naturally
    1/2015: Started Metformin
    4/2015: Clomid cycle #1, bfn
    6/2015: Natural cycle, BFP! 

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  • Mamaof2beautifulgirlsMamaof2beautifulgirls member
    Reyes I am so sorry you are going through this! I miscarried naturally so I have no experience with the medication. From what I have read it varies from person to person. With my first miscarriage I have a D & C and it went pretty straight forward (if something like a miscarriage can!) Take care of yourself! 
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  • ainsley_sainsley_s member
    I completely understand and feel the same way. I was due in October and just found out in the past week that two of our closest friend couples are both pregnant and due in November... it’s so hard because I am happy for them, but just as I was doing better emotionally, finding out this news makes me hurt so bad again. You’re exactly right about it hitting like a ton of bricks. It was so hard to put on a happy face and tell them congratulations when the news just reminds me of the little babe we were supposed to have in the fall also. Also, I am so very sorry for your loss. 
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  • splashmountainsplashmountain member
    @Mamaof2beautifulgirls I had to deactivate my fb account for that very reason (that and a sil that posted EVERY detail of her pregnancy). My 1st loss was 2016, 2nd was last July and it still sucks seeing those announcements, like you said, not because you aren't happy for them, but because you are so sad for yourself. Hang in there, everyone here understands what you're going through.
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  • kattyknedgen96kattyknedgen96 member
    @Mamaof2beautifulgirls I'm so sorry for your loss. I still feel that way every once in a while even though it has been a year and a half since I lost my first and only pregnancy so far. On the one hand, I love babies and I love looking at my friend's pictures of theirs, but at the same time, every time I see posts about them, I wonder what they did to deserve healthy babies more than me (I know in my head that this is not correct or healthy for me to be thinking, but it's so difficult for me not to feel that way when my husband and I have been trying all this time with no results). I also had a friend who got pregnant at almost exactly the same time as me and she had her baby and is already 30 weeks pregnant again, and even though I am happy for her, it also feels like a huge slap in the face (or the womb). I feel like it is pretty normal to have these feelings, and I try not to feel like a bad or selfish person for feeling that way. I definitely understand, and I hope this has made you feel less alone 💗
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  • Mamaof2beautifulgirlsMamaof2beautifulgirls member
    @kattyknedgen96 thank you so much for your response! It does help so much knowing I am not alone in this journey! This board and the TTCAL board has a wonderful group of ladies that support one another! I am so thankful! ❤️
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  • mommykay2020mommykay2020 member
    I understand exactly how you feel! I went to my first appointment and had a ultrasound and found out my baby did not implant in the right place it crushed me. Then I see women on social pregnant showing their ultrasound pictures and baby bumps it makes me happy but sad and disappointed at the same thing because my baby didn't make it! I guess it's only natural to feel this way! 
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