Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lillywonderland
member
Re: UO/FFC Combo (Friday 5.3)
How about this: The first year of marriage was SUPER difficult. I hated it. Divorce was definitely floating around my mind. I never said it outloud to him or anyone else. It was definitely just me being restless. I'm so glad we made it out of that year. Things have been great for the last couple years and I love where we're at now. But damn that was hard.
Married: 8/2015
TTC #1: 4/2017
Testing: HSG, U/S, BW, and DH's SA all normal
DX: Unexplained
8/2018: Clomid + TI = BFN
9/2018: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2018: Clomid + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
12/2018: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone \\ Cancelled due to cyst
1/2019: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD Sept 30th, 2019
10/7/2019: Healthy baby boy!
TTC #2: 12/2020
2/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
3/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
4/2021: Surprise! Natural BFP! \\ EDD Jan 6th, 2022 \\ Chemical, betas not rising
8/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
9/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
10/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD July 29th, 2022
Here's my wilder FFFC: I've been fantasizing. A lot. About anyone and everyone besides DH. I think it's my subconscious's way of dealing with the reality of being very much 100% committed to this relationship and family and having a body that no one is trying to go after for the next several months at least. I would never cheat on him, but it's my outlet and I feel a little guilty about it.
Alllrriiiggghhhtttt. Here's mine. I have a very soft heart for a lot of the one-off posters in the TTGP forum. Beeccaauuusseee (sigh) I was once desperately searching for answers (after a major loss) and one-off posted myself. My doctors were all blowing me off and I just wanted to connect with anyone who had had this happen to them before... Lucky for me the commenters at the time took it easy on me (you guys I even posted pee sticks
So sometimes, when I can feel the desperation for answers in their posts, I will inbox them with gentle direction and tell them what my experience has been.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
It honestly seemed like convincing him going for #2 was SO MUCH easier. And he was dead set on being one and done.
Edited because I just looked the actor up and NOOOOO he's not. I must have been thinking of another actor!!! LOL
Married: 8/2015
TTC #1: 4/2017
Testing: HSG, U/S, BW, and DH's SA all normal
DX: Unexplained
8/2018: Clomid + TI = BFN
9/2018: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2018: Clomid + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
12/2018: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone \\ Cancelled due to cyst
1/2019: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD Sept 30th, 2019
10/7/2019: Healthy baby boy!
TTC #2: 12/2020
2/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
3/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
4/2021: Surprise! Natural BFP! \\ EDD Jan 6th, 2022 \\ Chemical, betas not rising
8/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
9/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
10/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD July 29th, 2022
Married: 8/2015
TTC #1: 4/2017
Testing: HSG, U/S, BW, and DH's SA all normal
DX: Unexplained
8/2018: Clomid + TI = BFN
9/2018: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2018: Clomid + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
12/2018: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone \\ Cancelled due to cyst
1/2019: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD Sept 30th, 2019
10/7/2019: Healthy baby boy!
TTC #2: 12/2020
2/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
3/2021: Letrozole + TI = BFN
4/2021: Surprise! Natural BFP! \\ EDD Jan 6th, 2022 \\ Chemical, betas not rising
8/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
9/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
10/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFN
11/2021: Letrozole + IUI + Progesterone = BFP! \\ EDD July 29th, 2022
@mamaber2204 Girl. I am right there with ya. I think it is for the same reason, too. Like woah, shit is getting real. I feel a little guilty because I haven't been the most affectionate to DH since becoming pregnant.
@nomangos23 @LJMoon6 I feel the same as both of you. I definitely feel sympathy and sometimes think the flaming is too extreme. That being said, certain regulars have me rolling at their responses. It is definitely entertaining.
As for TB drama, I really only enjoy it when it's warranted! I do feel bad when some get flamed when you can tell they're actually struggling or when they're just excited and others get upset. BUT with that said, I love seeing someone get put in their place for being an asshole lol. Speaking of, there is a great thread in 1st Tri about someone not knowing the difference between their vagina and urethra. YIKES.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@nomangos23 Aww your FFC is sweet! That's so nice of you.
@duewithpu2 Ha, I’ve been telling everyone that my only birth plan is to get to the hospital and get an epidural as soon as possible.
My FFC is that I like to sleep completely naked. Not looking forward to after the birth when I’m leaking fun stuff from all over and have to cover up.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
And my face at this bodily fluid conversation. My FFFC is that I clearly have no idea what to expect postpartum. FTM probs. Maybe we need to start a postpartum care/expectations/advice thread or something.
@duewithpu2 omg the farts like a grown man..I was out shopping with my DS when he was a few weeks old and his farts were so loud in the store. I was horrified that people thought it was me 😂
I pretty much want anyone but my husband these days! Oops, but I wouldn’t act on it!
I just looked up the night king and I may have nightmares about him now😂
Oh nude sleeping.... until children are old enough to discover naked parents! I can’t sleep naked because then I have naked dreams of myself being in public that way!
All of this talk is making me think of postpartum. Oh the bleeding and leaking 😭 We will all have to find the most comfortable pjs and pads and tell each other about them
My weirdness is that I hate reading. I mean, I like reading some articles on my phone and learning new things all of the time, but I don’t know the last book I held in my hands. I have a lazy eye, and have always struggled to read smoothly for long periods of time. I found this out later in my 20’s and my eye doctor asked me how I got through my masters degree program. 🤷🏻♀️ I just did! Now I read small increments of stuff at a time. Luckily children’s books are easy on my eyes (as I try to instill better reading habits for the next generation)!
Oh and I get really stressed out when people ask me “favorite” questions. It makes me realize I’m very indecisive and have few favorite things in life.
@mamaber2204 I swear Black Panther is cast entirely of ridiculously hot people.
@duewithpu2 Ugh, birth plans. I get having preferences, I really really do. Not being medicated, delayed cord clamping, skin to skin right away, but there comes a point where you have to let professionals do their job. I freaking LOVE my OB. When I first brought up birth, she said, "Don't get your heart set on a specific plan. Our number 1 goal is a healthy baby and a living mama. Everything after that is icing." It really put the whole thing in perspective.
1. I’d like to go vaginally and exhaust all routes for that as much as possible, but I’m fine with a c-section if that becomes necessary.
2. I want to go as long as possible without an epidural and exhaust all other pain management first (because I like to be moving), but I want to be informed before the time comes that I would no longer be able to get one anymore.
FFFC: I’m going to be seeing an ex at my brother’s wedding soon, and despite knowing I would neeeeever even think twice about being with him over my husband, I also really hope I look good or he sees my family and how happy I am, instead of just how huge I am while pregnant... soooo I should really go for a walk/jog today and do a little arm workout haha
Re: Birth plans. Not a good idea. They will set you up for disappointment if things don’t go perfectly. Healthy baby, healthy Mom is the #1 thing to remember.
My birth plan is basically the same as @sunshine2417!! 😎
@blitzybee Missed you!!
@blitzybee I don’t love reading either. I love reading articles, but to sit down with a book I just don’t have the attention span anymore. I used to read Harry Potter books in 1 sitting as a kid, but ain’t nobody got time for that now!