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December 2019 Moms
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Anxiety about Motherhood?

lioness_389lioness_389 member
edited April 2019 in December 2019 Moms
So today I randomly started having times when I would think about being a mother and start to panic/feel very nervous. Any other FTMs feeling anxious about having to keep another human alive? It’s a HUGE responsibility, and although I am so grateful for the opportunity at the same time I’m also really nervous about the life change 😬
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Re: Anxiety about Motherhood?

  • blueskychicago12blueskychicago12 member
    You're not alone!  While I am very excited and feeling blessed, I feel anxious at times, too, thinking about how much life will change.  I tend to be an overthinker!  I'm trying to remind myself that it will be an adventure and I'll figure it out as I go along!
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  • lioness_389lioness_389 member
    Over thinkers unite! lol same here! I knew I couldn’t be the only one..
    I guess it’s ok not to have everything figured out now. It’s a journey and not a race after all.
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  • CapricaAndreaCapricaAndrea member
    I'm not gonna lie ladies, it's a big change. I've often heard the first 3 months described as "100 days of darkness". I remember asking my other mom friends who had kids before me "when did you start feeling like yourself again?" and they all knew immediately what I meant without having to explain any further. I'm not telling you this to scare you, but rather because if it happens to you, I don't want you to think that anything is wrong with you, or that you're failing as a mother. It's hard, it's completely different, but it's also the greatest thing in the world, and the little smiles, coos, snuggles, etc make it all worthwhile. Plus you and baby are sort of figuring things out at the same time, step by step, and you learn new things as they come up. You don't need to know everything immediately. 

    Of course I'm not trying to downplay postpartum depression, that is definitely a real thing and you should know the signs to watch out for ahead of time because there is no need to suffer silently. Even less discussed is postpartum anxiety, which I had and didn't realize until afterwards looking back in hindsight. But having a community of support, especially other moms at nearly the same stage as you (ie: HERE!) is a huge help, and hopefully this community can help alleviate some of your anxiety by answering all the questions you have, and probably teaching you about things you didn't even think to ask about. 
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  • lioness_389lioness_389 member
    I love this. Thank you so much! I already struggle with anxiety and I’m prone to having low moods (not so much full blown depression), but this reminded me that my mental health is just as important as my physical health during this time. We need to be kinder to ourselves as mothers. I need to give myself a break and not be ashamed to ask for help or to ask questions. 

    Woah...’100 days of darkness’ 😧 It’s good to know, though, that I wouldn’t be alone in this time.
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  • blueskychicago12blueskychicago12 member
    @CapricaAndrea Thanks for keeping it real!  I think it's important to be realistic about the challenges and be prepared that the adjustment can be tough!
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  • sunshineandlemonssunshineandlemons member
    STM here, with hopefully some reassurance. I also don’t want to downplay what others may have experienced or PPD/A at all so please just read this as one mom’s experience.

    Is it a big change? Absolutely. I had the same concerns when pregnant with my first and had expectations of it being so bad (no sleep, no time to shower, etc.) that it wasn’t as bad as I imagined it once I was actually living it. Did my baby sleep through the night? Nope- but I still slept better than I did when I was pregnant. I remember being terrified of SIDS despite doing all safe sleep methods. That fear faded more each day. Plus, like @CapricaAndrea said, baby is learning too and you’re adjusting together. I was surprised how much came to me like instinct and how you’re able to survive with so much less sleep and more on your mind than you ever did before. 

    You’ve got this! ❤️
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  • lioness_389lioness_389 member
    ‘I was surprised how much came to me like instinct and how you’re able to survive with so much less sleep and more on your mind than you ever did before.’

    i hope this is the case for me as well!!
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  • CapricaAndreaCapricaAndrea member
    sunshineandlemons said:
     I was surprised how much came to me like instinct and how you’re able to survive with so much less sleep and more on your mind than you ever did before. 

    Oh absolutely! It shocked me how I was able to function on so much less sleep than I thought I needed, and even 22 months later it's still true. My husband is a total grump and falling asleep in the middle of the day on 5 hours of sleep and I'm like "I got this!" on the same amount.  :D
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