Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
zazouille
member
Re: Question for long-term/permanent US expats with non-US partners
@zazouille But i've read quite a bit about what you've written - Americans in the EU are giving up their American citizenship due to the IRS trying to tax assets abroad.
TTC since January 2015
3/15/2015 BFP!
4/15/2015 MMC :'(
2/25/2016 BFP! Hoping for the best!
@kimey1 In your position, if I had to choose at birth to give him US citizenship or he would never be able to obtain it, I would definitely give it to him, as it is easier for a young adult (18) to renounce US citizenship than an older adult who has already worked and paid taxes.
@linnea625 I'm also an American living in France, but I work in Switzerland at a UN organization... try to find an accountant who is simultaneouly competent in French, US, and UN tax law! My banks in France and Switzerland allow me to have bank accounts... and that's about it. No money placements, investments, etc., and of course they made me sign paperwork permitting them to give all of my details and my account details over to the IRS, and if I refused, my accounts would be closed.
I would be hesitant about giving your non-US husband's info to the IRS, as you will have to declare his income too - depending on how much the both of you make this could be a disadvantage. I was married for 10 years and always ticked the box "married, filing separately", and never gave my ex-husband's info to the IRS, because it was none of their business.
My problem is the opposite, I have no assets in the US, all in France, and the US wants a part of my 100% European pie that it had no part in baking.
We have definitely decided baby will be a dual
And that COULD cause issues when you travel to the US. Technically because they're entitled, they need to have that passport to enter or you could be fined.
I made it official for both my kids, because I think they'd like to have the option to live there when they're grown up. All of my family is still in the states and it's a great passport to have, ridiculous tax laws or not.
I also got my kids UK citizenship. I love the options that gives them.
(they were born in Australia)
I think you should just get it and not worry about it til later. They don't have to file taxes for many many years anyway.
So apparently the law (INA: ACT 301) states: "The following shall be nationals and citizens of the United States at birth...."
What does "shall" mean? (Is anyone here a lawyer?...) Can it be interpreted as "have the right to"/"are entitled to" or "are obligated to"/"must"? One could interpret it to mean the former, and I would bet that those who drafted this law with this wording certainly regarded US citizenship as a privilege that people seek instead of a burden to be avoided. I haven't found anything on the web as to what the penalties (fines, etc.) would be if one does not declare him/herself a US citizen.
I did find out that if I do declare my baby's birth and he becomes a documented US citizen, he will be subjected to all the taxes and hassle yet he will not be able to transmit his citizenship to his children (presuming the mom is not a US citizen, which is likely) unless he has lived for a certain period of time in the US...
This article sums up my frustration with the situation but doesn't touch on all of the problems (such as capital gains and the aforementioned transmission of citizenship): https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2014/09/12/dear-son-why-you-should-leave-america-now/2/#2aaa027747d4
I'm sure you all know that the renunciation fee has been increased recently by 422%, from $450 to $2,350, although I've read that it is free between the ages of 18 and 18 1/2.
So glad to have found this thread!
I am an American living in Germany with my German husband. This will be our first child so we are trying to figure out all of the legalities.
Is there anyone who is an American citizen who traveled to the US with a child who only has foreign citizenship?
We want our child to have both but are planning to travel to the US shortly after the birth and I'm worried we won't have enough time to get all of the German and American documents beforehand!
@linnea625 I avoid the IRS taxing our joint savings by filing separately and keeping the majority of the savings in a separate account (not the one my income is paid into). So far no problems.
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
If you were to register him/her as a US citizen, I've read and been told it takes 1 month to get the baby's US passport. When traveling to the US, the baby must enter the States with the US passport.
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
The Congress recently delivered the Tax Fairness For Americans Abroad Act of 2018, aimed at alleviating the burden of American expats having to file US taxes on their foreign incomes as well as taxes in their country of residence. It’s an issue affecting both temporary and permanent expats, accidental Americans borne of an American parent abroad and eve those born to foreign parents in America.
The Act seeks to allow American expats who can prove that they pay foreign taxes to opt out of US expat tax returns on their foreign earned income. The bill also provides for qualifying expatriates to chosoe not to pay US capital gains tax on disposal of their foreign assets or any other gain or passive income made while they were foreign residents.