Postpartum?

jordyh · April 2019

Gave birth by emergency c section on March 10th. I am almost positive it was false labor, but they misjudged my dilation and gave me an epidural before they realized. At which point they had to induce. I reach 10cm but baby still had to be taken. Because of the long labor and c section, I ended up with an infection of the skin, and some fluid buildup in my incision. About a week after delivery, I had to be partially reopened. I have had to have my incision packed with guaze every day since. I hurt. I had to be given water pills to help with the fluid retention which caused me to end my breastfeeding journey abruptly and sooner than I had hoped.

I feel unable to physically do what I would like. I am always sore and exhuasted. Taking care of my baby (who thankfully is an angel) wears me out and I am constantly on the verge of tears or panic. I feel irritable and angry. And just not myself. I will most likely still be exhausted and in the process of healing and my daily repackings when I have to return to work in 2 weeks.

Is it just circumstance that has me so down? Normal hormones? Or at what point do I consider I may have postpartum depression?

meggyme · April 2019

jordyh said:

Gave birth by emergency c section on March 10th. I am almost positive it was false labor, but they misjudged my dilation and gave me an epidural before they realized. At which point they had to induce. I reach 10cm but baby still had to be taken. Because of the long labor and c section, I ended up with an infection of the skin, and some fluid buildup in my incision. About a week after delivery, I had to be partially reopened. I have had to have my incision packed with guaze every day since. I hurt. I had to be given water pills to help with the fluid retention which caused me to end my breastfeeding journey abruptly and sooner than I had hoped.

I feel unable to physically do what I would like. I am always sore and exhuasted. Taking care of my baby (who thankfully is an angel) wears me out and I am constantly on the verge of tears or panic. I feel irritable and angry. And just not myself. I will most likely still be exhausted and in the process of healing and my daily repackings when I have to return to work in 2 weeks.

Is it just circumstance that has me so down? Normal hormones? Or at what point do I consider I may have postpartum depression?

Please talk to your doctor about what you are feeling. Whether it’s hot ones or circumstance doesn’t change the way you are feeling and your doctor will be most equipped to assess you and guide you to resources.

lindseyb918 · April 2019

That sounds like a very difficult (if not traumatic!) experience. Recovering from a c-section while caring for my first son is one of the hardest things I've ever done, so just know that it is very hard and your feelings are so valid!

I agree that you should talk to your doctor about the way you are feeling. I also know it might not be possible, but I would delay returning to work until you're physically healed (typically considered 8 weeks after delivery for a CS, could be even longer if you've had complications).

jordyh · April 2019

Thank you so much for the responses. I was able to talk to my doctor and we went through some options. In case it helps anyone else, I wanted to paraphrase some of that conversation.
My doctor explained that I could go the medicine route. He said it is completely normal. When I mentioned I had no thoughts of hurting my baby, he set me straight. He told me that’s not necessarily a requirement for post parties depression. It’s just a really bad possible symptom. He told me if I chose to take medicine, that he would prefer I be committed to taking that medicine for at least 6 months. He explained that it would also take time to start working, or for us to know if it wouldn’t work. He made sure I knew that needing medicine now is not shameful, and it doesn’t mean I would be on it forever. Not that it is shameful to ever be on medicine, I think that was my anxiety telling me Inwas failing, which I know is irrational!
I asked him if it was possibly just hormones and circumstances. If he thought it could be something I could shake on my own in time as I continue to physically heal. He said it’s definitely hormones. And that it could be possible to tough it out, but everyone is different and it’s really something to watch and be mindful of. I currently see my dr 2 times a week, and because of that he was very open to watching me and letting me think about it a while and do my own research on medicine, etc.
One thing he explained is whether my feelings felt like a downward slope, or whether I was up and down. He said if it’s a slope, he would recommend thinking of medicine, and to keep in mind that it takes time to work. So if I started on it and continued to slope down, I would need to be aware and start the medicine sooner rather than later. However, I feel like I have good days and bad days.
I have started discussions with my husband. And we are going to continue to watch me, and to try to rule out if it’s the result of being cooped up. I have made a point to get more fresh air and sunshine by taking baby on the porch. Which he loves and is soothed by, which is a great bonus! I drove us on an ice cream run (first time driving since) and I really opened up on what types of things make my anxiety worse. Personally it’s helping me. But medicine may still be my route.
So talk to your Dr if you feel at all like me! Even just talking options was a relief! Saying it out loud was a relief!

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