August 2019 Moms

Mental Health Check-in w/o 4/10

Whether it’s grief, depression, anxiety, or some complex and overwhelming situation, this thread is for talking it out and getting some support. Use it whenever and however you need it. Answer the questions below, start your own conversation, let US support YOU! (Any and all feedback is appreciated.)

How are you feeling this week? 
Is anything bothering you? Any stressful things happening or coming up?
What are you doing to take care of YOU this week?
What are your goals for the next week?
Questions/comments/concerns?

Re: Mental Health Check-in w/o 4/10

  • ***TW***TW***Post contains loss of family members***TW***TW***

    So first, I don’t deal well with death (or really closure of any kind, ending of relationships, etc).

    My uncle has been on life support for about a week now and the plan is to remove him today. The doctor doesn’t expect him to make it more than a few hours. I’m not close to him (actually quite the opposite, he is my mom’s brother and they had a really strained relationship from childhood into adulthood, I’m pretty sure she hated him until the day she died). But regardless of how I feel about him my poor grandparents are about to lose their second child (out of 4). I’ve posted before about my mom passing when I was pregnant with DS2. 

    So they are weighing heavy on my heart as well as my cousins and their families. 

    But here’s the super f*ing freaky part. My first uncle passed away just after DS1 was born. He was only a few months old. My second uncle passed away when I was pregnant with DS2 (a few months after my mom). And now this... I’m sure I’m reading into it too much, but it freaks me out. I’m not super religious, but I keep thinking about the passage “the lord giveth and the lord taketh away”. 

    The emotions are flowing. All the emotions. 
  • @thirdtimesacharm2019 - Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your poor grandparents and their impending loss <3 I, too, have had a strange giveth/taketh relationship with both of my pregnancies. **TW** With DD1, a close friend of mine lost her beloved step-father: he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the week I found out we were pregnant and he passed the week when I was "safely" in the 2nd Trimester. Between DD1 & DD2, we lost 10 embryos (we went through IVF) in 18 months and every time we made an attempt, I would find some sort of death/new-life connection. Our last attempt, we got pregnant and with twins, but one passed at 8 weeks, after we had the U/S with the heartbeats. So I feel like that's about as clear of a "sign" as I can get that this one would be ok - though I've been a nervous wreck - and that it would be my last success. **TW End** Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. <3 
    **History in Spoiler**
    Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10
    Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
       IUI#1   - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
       IVF#1  - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
       FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
    ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
       FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
    Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
       FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)


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