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Baby's Father Ghosting Me😔

stargazer102519stargazer102519 member
in October 2019 Moms
I feel so hurt and lost. My boyfriend and I weren't together very long before I found I was pregnant. I had tried to conceive for 3 years with my ex fiance and never even got a positive test so I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant. This is my first and I absolutely love my little appleseed, now 8 weeks along. Since we found out he has been acting distant, on his phone a lot, not responding to my texts, etc. He has made no effort to spend time with me in over a week. We talked on the phone on Tuesday and I told him I want to make time for eachother soon, he says he's still trying to process everything and needs space. I ask him if he wants like a couple days to himself, he says no, I can text or call him.
He has not responded to my last text in almost 24 hours and has made no attempt to contact me. I have not text him or called him since my last message and becoming more afraid he is ghosting me and will run. I'm trying to stay calm, give him space and hopefully he comes around but feeling a bit terrified of the reality I may be dealing with a baby daddy for the next 18 years or no father at all.
I'm not sure what to do, I'm so scared and have been thinking what will be best for my baby😔
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Re: Baby's Father Ghosting Me😔

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    stargazer102519stargazer102519 member
    Thank you, I'm trying to stay positive. My biggest fear is he really is ghosting me and will try to return after the baby is born and want rights. I honestly don't even want child support if he is running away and would prefer a man who truly loved me and my child to be the daddy. I just feel so hurt.
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    trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now. My heart is with you. Have you tried telling him that you're also scared and that you two should talk about your feelings, good and bad, together? I read recently that it's good to find common ground with someone to get them to listen.

    I'm sure my advice is unwanted and unneeded, but when I see someone hurting, I want nothing more than to help them. 💛
    DD 10/2019
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    stargazer102519stargazer102519 member
    meagan-t said:
    I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now. My heart is with you. Have you tried telling him that you're also scared and that you two should talk about your feelings, good and bad, together? I read recently that it's good to find common ground with someone to get them to listen.

    I'm sure my advice is unwanted and unneeded, but when I see someone hurting, I want nothing more than to help them. 💛
    We talked about it on Tuesday. He told me he needed some space and needed to process it. He said there was a lot of pressure and he wasn't sure how he felt about everything. I offered to give him a couple days to himself and he said no he didn't want that. 
    He still hasn't contacted me in over 24 hours. Trying not to blow up or get upset and just let it be.
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    trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    I'm so sorry, @stargazer102519. Try to take care of yourself and your little sprout and maybe he'll come around eventually. Hopefully you can find a little positivity during such a difficult time.
    DD 10/2019
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    nnaelilaknnaelilak member
    I'm so sorry @stargazer102519. I hope that he really is just processing things and is able to figure it out so he can be there for you and your little sprout 💚 hang in there, we're here for you 💚
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    stargazer102519stargazer102519 member
    Still nothing, over 2 days now. I just want to yell at him, I'm so frustrated. I've still not made any attempt to contact, not sure if I should try just to confirm he is ghosting😞
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    egb428egb428 member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this @stargazer102519. Do you have any other support around? Parents or friends or other family? Lean on whomever you're closest to. With my DS, it was a surprise and we weren't together very long. He never straight up left me alone, but I FELT extremely alone the whole time because he was just not there mentally at all. I ended up leaving when my son was 2. It's hard. Extremely hard. But you'll be one strong mama and you and your babe will be just fine. I promise. Hugs. 
    2/22/13 - BFP #1, EDD 10/18/13
    10/17/13 - DS (w/ ex)
    6/2/18 - Married DH
    8/25/18 - BFP #2
    9/2/18 - MC at 6w
    2/25/19 - BFP #3 (LMP 1/19, EDD 10/26)
    2/25 Beta #1 3300; 2/27 Beta #2 6700; 3/1 Beta #3 12,100
    <3  Please stick little rainbow baby! <3

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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    stargazer102519stargazer102519 member
    Thank you hun. My mom is the only family I've told so far and she has been so supportive, went with me to the ultrasound today.
    I broke down and called him on Sunday, he gave me a million and 1 excuses as to why he hadn't called and I told him it was hurtful that he hadn't contacted me in 3 days. He apologized but things don't really feel much better and he's still fading me during texting and not responding. I've decided I'm done putting an effort into him and just going to pray on it. I'm hoping he changes but if not I'm going to do what's best for my baby❤💓🤰
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    trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    You sound like a strong woman, @stargazer102519. I'll be praying for you as well and hopefully he'll come around eventually. And if not, this baby is still going to be incredibly blessed to have you as its mama.
    DD 10/2019
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