GTKY 3/13

inthewoods23 · March 2019

Let's hear your funny or embarassing drunk stories!

b_1029 · March 2019

Well one was definitely in my GTKY yesterday

I was obsessed with this guy from my swim team in college for like 2 years. We were "talking" or whatever at the end of freshman year/going into soph year and then he studied abroad in Amsterdam that summer for a few weeks. I saw all these pictures tagged with him and this girl on the trip who had braces and I was like who tf is this girl? Fast forward to us all getting back to school and our first big party. He brought her over to the house we were pregaming at but I wasn't even planning on going out that night. Well, once I saw him walk through the door with her, I grabbed one of the freshman and was like WE'RE TAKING SHOTS!!! We took a million in a short period of time and then some of the upperclassmen snuck us into a bar. That's about the last thing I remember other than 2 of the senior guys taking me home and watching me hug the toilet. The funny/embarrassing part is that the 2 guys were this guy's roommate and so they knew I liked him, and kept trying to get me to say stuff about it. Apparently it was all incomprehensible other than when they were like "ah that girl that ____ brought to the party tonight was pretty cute, right?" They said I finally lifted my head up, slowly turned towards them, gave them a death stare, and was just like...SHE. HAS. F-CKING. BRACES. and then went back to mumbling into the toilet lol.

That was the first that came to mind but the swim team went hard in college so I'm trying to think of more. Shockingly, I can't remember any...

b_1029 · March 2019

Wow not sure how this wasn't the first one to come to mind. I had been dating my now husband for a bit over a year when his younger sister got married. Her new SIL was making us take all these bourbon shots and we definitely celebrated hard. I guess I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom but ended up walking into the hallway of our hotel instead...butt a$$ naked. I came out of my stupor when I heard the door click shut and was just like OH F*CK HOW'D I END UP HERE??! Needless to say I freaked the f out. I kept alternating between knocking on the door and then cowering down so that people couldn't see me out of their peepholes. It felt like I was out there for hours but lord only knows how long it actually was - I guess DH woke up randomly and started panicking because I wasn't in the room, so thank god he opened the door and there I was. I was shielding my face when we walked out of the hotel just in case there were security cameras and the employees saw me. Now DH always jokes around and puts chairs in front of the doors if we're drinking and staying in hotels...but I think he's actually serious

Edited for clarity

kels0091 · March 2019

This is also my “I am a bad ass story”

i decided last minute to meet my friends at a local bar. When I got there they were all wasted so I wanted to catch up by taking shots and a bunch of random drinks. Obviously that wasn’t a great way to begin the night.
About 40 minutes after being there, a girl came behind me and shoved me so hard I spilled my drink. So I turned around and asked her wtf and she screamed “I saw you kissing my boyfriend you slut”.
So I screamed “don’t call me outside my name” 😂 I don’t know where I heard that but it came out haha. Next thing I know she’s pulling her fist back like she’s going to punch me.
As drunk as I was, I remembered that “mama didn’t raise no fool” so I pulled back and knocked her out. First time I ever hit someone who wasn’t a sibling.
Next thing I knew I was getting carried out by a bouncer and was banned from the bar for 6 weeks.

Another time I was at the bar (same bar. Small town) and I was celebrating my birthday with my friends. Everyone was buying me shots. We decided to leave and everyone else had to pee so I decided to wait outside. I apparently was dancing alone, to no music and must have made myself dizzy because I started puking.
Normal people puke on the ground. Me ? Drunk Kelsey ?
I puke on police officers. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So that was how I got a night in the drunk tank. My friends thought I must have just caught a cab and headed home lol. Such good times.

brookert615 · March 2019

@b_1029 Both of your stories have me cracking the f up! Your hotel story is one of my big nightmares of being naked in public lol!

@kels0091 That's wild!

Hmmm... I might have a couple?

One time with my most recent ex who I dated for 6 years, I found out he cheated on me and he started going down a bad path of getting into drugs/partying a lot. I only stayed with him because his mental stability was not the greatest and I still did care for him but not in that way. ANYWAYS he wanted to go to a festival and I said I would go because I just didn't trust him. I was still bitter about the whole situation of cheating so I decided to go hard. His one friend (who had a tattoo of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce on his leg) and I decided that we were just going to walkaround and get sloppy. We shared some homemade moonshine, I had a bag of wine that I put in my nike bag, and we had a bottle of Admiral Nelson rum. Needless to say we got very intoxicated. Our "camp" made a big painted sign on plywood and I peed on it to spite my ex. Then we went to one of the bands campsites to hang out. I had some wine left that I shared with some of them and then they dared me to "smack the bag" and chug the rest. So I did. Then they didn't seem impressed so I decided I was just going to try and chug the rum. I chugged, I swallowed, and then they all looked at me with shock/fear? And then I instantly started puking... ALL OVER THEIR CAMPSITE/SOMEONE'S TENT. I don't remember much after that. When I woke up, I was in my tent without a shirt on and just underwear. I looked outside and there wasn't anyone from camp there. So I put on my clothes and took a little walk. The band from the previous night was like "DID YOU BRING A MOP?" and they all started laughing at me. Then I continue to where they had the food trucks and I saw my ex and all of his friends. Apparently I came back, started yelling at my ex and started throwing things around the campsite like a bear. I had a hangover for a week. It was awful!

Another one that isn't so funny but DH likes to bring it up a lot. We were at a wedding and I was double fishing screwdrivers/taking shots all night. We went back to the hotel and I flooded the bathroom during my shower, DH used all the towels trying to sop it up but it was bad. He went to go get ice and he came back with my feet in the mini fridge crying because my feet were hot. He started laughing and I just started crying even more saying he didn't understand. He had to talk me down and I ended up sleeping with my feet on the air conditioner next to the bed lol.

inthewoods23 · March 2019

The only good drinking story I have is from college when DH was visiting as well as my roommates BF and a friend's GF on a weekend.

My roommate's BF had brought Everclear, Sprite, and a plethora of Koolaid packets. My first experience ever having something that didn't taste like alcohol which is why I tend not to drink because I don't like the taste. I only ended up having like half a solo cup worth, but it made me so sleepy. I didn't black out, but at one point was chilling in my desk chair acting like a newborn that couldn't hold their head up.

DH didn't drink and was having me take sips of Monster (he was always drinking that back then, gross) just so I wouldn't be having so much alcohol. He also had me eat some of those mini muffins. He was escorting me to the communal bathroom in the center of the wing a few times - to pee! Never to puke. I surprisingly didn't that night. It was like 2am, but he wouldn't walk in since it was a girls bathroom - the entry doors stayed open so he could still see me in the stall area and the sinks right at the entry area. He was a good man.

At some point we had this idea that we'll basically have an orgy of 3 couples go on with us up ony lofted bed, roommate in her bed, not lofted, and the friend and his GF on the futon under our bed. I think by the time we got around to laying in bed I was so tired that I just fell asleep so the orgy never happened.

DH had me drink a bunch of water before falling asleep so I woke up surprisingly without a huge headache. Anytime I drink heavily or quite a bit he's always a gentleman and tells me to drink water before I fall asleep.

That's about the extent of my "wild" college days 😆

kagesstarshroom · March 2019

Wait lol wait, mine that I had here is just embarrassing and involves being drunk but not... a drunk story. I deleted it and will edit for an actual good drunk one in a sec! Okay edited/more relevant story is here!

For my 33rd birthday, I got so drunk that I was like stumbling awful drunk at like 3pm. Luckily, even though we were 2 hours from home, my stepsister had gotten a hotel room in the city (since they were flying out of there in the a.m.), so she checked in and I laid down on the bed while she, MH, and her bf all hung out. I don't remember anything until.... I came to and I was taking a bath in their hotel room? lol DH came in and was like "What are you doing!" and I was all yelling like "the water isn't hot enough!!" and he was like "let's get your dressed" and then they had to monitor me while I napped. I managed to have a (very quiet, I could barely talk lol) dinner w/ them before DH & I drove home.

kpearse99 · March 2019

DH and I had only been dating for about a month or so when I met some of his closest friends. We were at a friends house in the Poconos and we got there a little later than everyone else on a Friday night so we (well... I) felt the need to catch up with everyone else, since they had already been drinking for a few hours. DH's best friends offered to make a drink and it was so good, you could hardly taste the vodka in it... so after the first two drinks I told him to make it a double (on top of a shot or two that we all did). It hit me out of nowhere!! DH and I were about to get it on when I suddenly felt really sick. I frantically looked for a trashcan before realizing there were none (Who doesn't keep trashcans in a bedroom!?!) I had zero clothes on so I couldn't make a run for the bathroom without risking someone seeing me, although I did contemplate it.... before I knew it I puked all over myself, my pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed and the carpet in the bedroom! I then started to cry because I though DH was going to break up with me

What a mess!!! Thankfully his friends didn't find out until months into dating, when it was already established that they liked me haha, and now it's a running joke of making sure there is a trashcan next to my bed whenever we stay there.

DH on the other hand.... about a year after my "incident" at the poconos, we were back and DH got trashed. We got into some argument and fell asleep angry. I heard him get up at 3am and shuffle around... then I hear the sound of pee hitting carpet... I asked him what the hell he was doing and he stared at me (mid-stream) like "WTF do you think I'm doing?!" He was peeing in the corner on their dresser. I grabbed some towels and, although he still didn't know what was really going on, he "cleaned" it up and then started to drape them over the banister. I told him he couldn't hang pee soaked towels on a wooden banister that we needed to put them in the wash. He stared at me blankly again and then slowly closed the door in my face! He barely remembered what happened the next morning until I told him. Turns out he really thought he was in the bathroom...I was so mad at the time, but we laugh so hard at it right now!

kpearse99 · March 2019

@b_1029 your second story!!! OMG!!!! So funny!!
@kels0091 that is a badass story!! But, did you actually kiss her boyfriend?!?! Or was she confused?!
@brookert615 hahahaha hot feet!!! That's great!
@inthewoods23 awe he's such a good man, taking care of you like that!!

shamrocandroll · March 2019

@b_1029 I am DYING of embarassment for you in your hotel story! I have nightmares about things like that and I can't believe that actually happened to you! Glad you got back in before anyone (obvious) saw you! If it had been me and I had to rely on MH waking up and noticing after a night of drinking, I'd be out there until morning.

@brookert615 Ah-hahahahaha your feet in the mini fridge!!!

@inthewoods23 I, on the other hand, have a lot of drinking stories, but none of them ended with an almost-orgy, haha! Make your one story count, I guess!

As for me, I have an extremely high alcohol tolerance (which isn't necessarily a good thing) and have for the most part always been very in control of myself when drinking heavily. I've never blacked out and have only puked on a handful of occasions. The funniest story I have is from the wedding of the first of my very close college friends to get married. I had no idea going into it if it was going to be open bar, and their program specifically called out a "cocktail hour" which was open bar, so MH (BF at the time) and I basically did a power hour. I managed to get through the wedding okay, but was SO drunk by the end. There was an after party back in their suite, and we were told to go back to our rooms and put on comfy clothes. The wedding was at a beach front hotel with a walkway balcony that connected all of the rooms. On our way back to our room, I decided that I was going to hug a potted shrub that was located on the walkway to our room. As I hugged this shrub, a freaking bird that was sleeping in its nest in the bush tried to fly out and hit me. Imagine being that poor bird, fast asleep in the middle of the night, and being awoken by a hug from a very drunk giant. MH nearly peed himself laughing at me. We got back to the room, I threw up, and then passed out. Never made it to the after party, and MH told everyone at brunch about my shrub-bird encounter.

inthewoods23 · March 2019

@kpearse99 your 2nd story with the "wtf are you doing?" reminded me of the last college roommate I had. She had been out drinking and came back trashed. Our beds were bunked and I was on the top (a good thing in hindsight). She was quietly puking into a trash can for some time and then at time point she was trying to climb into my top bed and pulled on my blanket and I was like "what are you doing?? This is my bed!". Her drunk self must have realized that she's the bottom bunk and fell asleep. I don't believed she remembered anything the next morning.

shamrocandroll · March 2019

@kpearse99 OMG did these two incidents happen in the same room? If so, that carpeting must really be in rough shape from you two!

inthewoods23 · March 2019

@shamrocandroll I love your story! So funny 😂

kpearse99 · March 2019

@shamrocandroll I would have woken up in the hallway the next morning too because DH is dead to the world when he's wasted!!
Also - at first when I read "potted shrub" I saw "potted shroom" and was really confused as to how someone potted a giant mushroom and also how a bird was sleeping in it!! (I swear I'm not drunk right now hahaha) After I went back and re-read it made more sense

That is an amazing story!! I would have laughed so hard had I been there. And had it been me, I probably would have cried from feeling so bad for waking up that poor bird!

And no, not the same room but the rooms were right next to each other!! We all joke now that we are just marking our territory whenever we are there!

b_1029 · March 2019

@shamrocandroll I already can’t wait to come back and read yours, I’m bumping during a virtual meeting right now and started giggling so I had to stop 😂

brookert615 · March 2019

@inthewoods23 Oh goodness, YH is a good man!!!

@kagesstarshroom LOL just taking a bath!!!

@kpearse99 That's crazy! So funny about YH peeing on the dresser!!!

@shamrocandroll HAHAHA hugging the shrubs, scaring the poor bird!

b_1029 · March 2019

@brookert615 HAHAH the mini fridge. I'm dying. Do your feet typically overheat when you drink or was this a special occasion?! Also... wtf to the BBQ sauce tattoo

@inthewoods23 too funny about the failed orgy. that's very nice of YH to tell you to drink water. Mine just yells at me when I want to drunk eat (which really only happened in Chicago, we'd be walking home from the bar and he would have to restrain me from stopping somewhere for food. One time I was so desperate that I got a burger from 7-11. EW)

@kagesstarshroom lol nothing to see here guys, I'm just taking a bath! What else would I be doing?

@kpearse99 ah such a sad experience with all your clothes! seriously, who doesn't keep a trashcan in the room?! ANd too funny about YH and the dresser

@shamrocandroll hahah it's just as good as I imagined earlier. That poor bird probably had a heart attack!

Seeing some of your stories made me remember that I'm almost certain I also peed in the hallway during my long ordeal. I mean, I was trying to go to the bathroom when I accidentally left the room lol. Shame....

brookert615 · March 2019

@b_1029 Oh my gosh, that is too funny! Well... I randomly would get super hot feet and I actually bought ice pack socks because they get so hot! No doctor can help me or has answers. But weirdly enough on my diet now I haven't gotten hot feet! LOL. And the BBQ sauce tattoo was actually pretty professional looking, I also really like that bbq sauce, maybe not as much as he does?

shamrocandroll · March 2019

@kpearse99 It was pretty much immediately funny after I realized WTF had just hit me. I was so confused for a few seconds.

A bird in the hug is worth two in the bush, right? Is that how the saying goes?

dreamscapes_ · March 2019

I don’t have any drunk stories, since I don’t drink (family has a history of addiction issues). The closest I have is me coming out of anesthesia after my first carpal tunnel release surgery. I had severe bilateral CTS and had the release surgeries back to back a month before the wedding. They did the right one first, since I’m right handed. I wasn’t put under general anesthesia, just the “twilight” kind of thing. Apparently when they were working on me, I started coming out of it, so they increased the sedation, and then I started having trouble breathing. So they put something in my mouth to keep my airways open. Not intubated, just like a wedge or something. I have no memory of this, and only know what DH told me. I was in recovery and the nurse was giving DH the care instructions and told him about the thing to keep my airway open. She told him nothing super hot or spicy, since I’d have a sore throat for a while. He asked about cough medicine, and she said no, just to not let me have anything that would irritate the throat. I then piped up and said “Yeah, so no blowjobs for a while, honey”.

inthewoods23 · March 2019

@dreamscapes_ I knew where that one was going haha 😆

kpearse99 · March 2019

@dreamscapes_ that is freaking amazing!!! I hope everyone in the room laughed!!

dreamscapes_ · March 2019

@inthewoods23 The second surgery’s recovery period was a little less amusing, since I started crying and wanted my mom. But yeah, that story isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, lol.

@kpearse99 He did, and he said the nurse turned red and walked away, lol.

lcking82 · March 2019

@dreamscapes_ the things anesthesia and post-op staff must hear....

When I was a senior in college we had a graffiti party, where everyone wore plain T-shirts and you were supposed to sign each other. I partied really hard, let everyone sign my shirt (and arms, and legs, and neck), fell over dancing on one of my students (I was a lab TA), but somehow made it safely home. Fast forward to next morning --- I wake up super late (in my bed, at least), with a raging hangover, but have to make it to a class (frequent pop quizzes), so I throw on a hoodie and go. In class, I do okay on the quiz (which turns into a writing assignment) but obviously look miserable. The classroom is so, so hot, and I'm so so hungover, that I finally have to take the sweatshirt off and let everyone see my graffiti arms. Best part - the next class, professor is returning our assignments and actually calls me out and says that mine was especially strong and that maybe being hungover was good for my writing.

_khaleesi · March 2019

Y’all I am rolling over here. Great thread!

I have tons of stories I could tell about other people but not much about me. There was one time in college 3 of us got completely trashed at the bars and then came home and kept it going. At one point we put pots on our heads and wrestled. 🤷‍♀️ There are pics of this going down. Then 2 of us tricked the third into dropping her pants for a photo by saying we would all moon the camera. I randomly ran across the ass picture the other day and about fell out of the chair laughing. Totally kept it. It was January and after photo time we decided we had to go swimming. And then we did. How we didn’t drown I don’t know. We did pass out after that. Woke up a few hours later, still drunk, and there was blood alllllll over my white comforter. We had no idea where it came from, and then I realized my dog was missing. Y’all I straight up thought my dog was murdered. Turns out she was scared out of her mind and hiding and the blood came from me gracefully climbing out of the pool. Huge gash on my knee.

charmedlifex3 · March 2019

So in college one time, my roommates an I all got blasted at a party and are happily, obliviously walking down the middle of the road in Boston, in the middle of the night, only vaguely knowing where we are.
My dad works in law enforcement.
A cop drives by us, slams on the brakes, hits reverse, and stops right next to us. He gets out. We're all barely to not quite legal to be drinking...
Then he calls out my name. "HEY! I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU! I KNOW YOUR DAD. CAN I GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME????"
Now my friends are kinda backing away pretending they don't know me....

kpearse99 · March 2019

@_khaleesi I'm dying!! Wrestling with pots on your heads.... I miss drunken college nights like that sometimes!!

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