Trying to Get Pregnant

March Mental Health Check-In

U.S: National Suicide Prevention :  1-800-273-TALK [8255]
Link to Canadian Resources:  https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes.  Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health.  Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports. 

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. 

If you need help getting started, consider filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

Re: March Mental Health Check-In

  • STATUS: TWW/benched/trying to decide what to do next cycle.

    Hey all, I've been having a rough one, but quietly--I am the kind of person who takes care of everyone around me & their mental health before considering my own.

    I am usually super organized, but I missed a meeting this weekend (even though it was written in my planner), and more generally I just keep letting things stack up that I need to get done. Instead, I have been throwing myself into reading about fertility, eating obsessively healthy, ridding our house of plastics, and stuff like that. While I know this is all good stuff for our TTC journey, I am usually a highly motivated overachiever and finisher--I get things *done* not just *started* no matter how much I have on my plate--and I haven't been able to really get into things the way I need to to get them done. Therefore, things I need to do get moved from one week in my planner to the next or I just forget about them. I missed a deadline Friday, for example, & there's no... un-missing it.

    I have a pretty hefty list already for tomorrow in my planner, plus I am about to move everything I didn't do from last week to this one. One of the things on the list I keep moving is to call my school & make an appointment with a counselor. (I'm a grad student, trying to graduate this summer, which is part of why my inability to get things done is so devastating--I am SO CLOSE.) There's no reason for me not to call and it's been something I've been putting off not on purpose. So part of my posting this here is to hold myself accountable to do that tomorrow.

    I am new to depression, though I'm not unfamiliar with its existence: many people closest to me suffer from clinical depression., I've just never really been through it badly myself until recently [[[[ **TW** loss ]]]] bc of my losses. I wish I had recognized it as such sooner rather than just hating myself for a few months for not being able to get anything done. I dislike that there's nothing concrete I can do to switch back on when I just don't want to/can't do anything, so learning to deal with that and *let myself* not be productive is step one. Thanks for everyone who commented on my post in the TWW this past weekend and esp. those who pointed out that awareness is the first step to getting better. Let's hope I can talk to someone and find a program that works for me to develop some additional steps up, because in the end I do need to get things done, and I need to find a way to work through/discard the heaviness. I should probably start doing yoga again too. 

    Okay, so that's my plan of action: call school counselor, get back into yoga. Good luck, self. You can do it. These are little steps, and taking little steps will help you more than wishing there is a cure-all will. 

    This was long, so props to anyone who read this. Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. I hope you are doing well, and I appreciate you.
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  • @kagesstarshroom I am so sorry that you’re feeling this way. Good for you for taking a step by putting this all out there. It’s so hard to admit to what’s happening and to try to make plans for holding yourself accountable. I’ve been thinking of you, but unsure of how to offer support since I know that these can be such delicate times. For me, faking it until I make it sometimes pulls me out. Please know you’re not alone. ❤️ Maybe too instead of focusing on what you haven’t done, look at all you have done. Not everyone is courageous enough to try, but you’ve gotten so far in your school career with really tough obstacles in your way. See the good in you. There’s plenty. ❤️
  • @kagesstarshroom I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling but it's completely understandable after everything you've been through. I too struggle with on and off depression and find that I can't finish anything I start, which I know is super frustrating. Just take it one day at a time and do all that you can <3 Good job taking steps to move forward.
  • I have a hard time just getting things started. I fall into these periods of not wanting to do anything. I haven't gotten to the point of not having the energy to get out of bed or shower, but not doing anything on my to do list at home can go for a week or 2 at a time. Sometimes I have dirty pots and pans on our kitchen counter for over a week.

    I think what has been helpful for me is to tell myself that it's okay to put these things off. They'll get done eventually, but they are not critical to do in the moment.
    *TW* History
    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC ended due to filing divorce

    **New relationship starting May 2024**

    Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
    Its Gonna Be May GIFs  Tenor
  • Tw LC mentioned 


    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings  you to this thread today?: OCD, ptsd, binge eating   raising a child with mental illness 

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    TWW
    How are you feeling?  So, I was doing ok.  Until about an hour ago.  A man stabbed a police office and was shot to death, it was my friend’s brother.    It is really triggering to me.  (Mental illness, cops involved, killed by gun, is all similar to my brother). I already ate half a pack of Reese’s cups, so I am clearly stress eating, hoping to not binge, which has been under control. Other than that, DS asked when or baby was coming home.  He forgot I miscarried.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.). Nothing at this time for me, but dd sees a psychiatrist and psychologist and had a major breakthrough the other day.  She sat and told her psychiatrist about all kinds of stuff that scares her, that I had no idea about.  He started her on a new med.  while it is too soon for it to be helping, she has it on her mind it is helping, which is making a noticeable difference.
  • @inthewoods it is good to recognize that you can always do it another day, at the same time, if you find yourself doing that with more and more, can you set a feasible goal of one thing you can do that day, like gold the laundry, even if you don’t put it away?

    @kagesstarshroom I am glad you are taking steps in the right directions.  Excercise does wonders for mental health!!  It is hard go some times see your own depression especially when others around you suffer, because it is easy to compare and things may seem or be worse for someone else, which doesn’t mean that aren’t hard for you.
  • @holly321 That's t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e about your friend's brother! so sorry to hear that. But at the same time, it sounds like yd is getting some positive help & it's notable how just...thinking you are doing something to help even if it's not possible for it to be working yet can help to change one's attitude.

    @inthewoods23 Thanks for this post, it's really helpful to hear that someone else is going through a similar thing where the to do list stacks up, and that giving yourself permission to not do all the things is a step in the right direction. I am trying to take that step--it's deceptively simple on the outside. I think I will write it in my planner.

    I wanted to do an accountability check-in here to say that--even though it took me from whenever I first posted until today to do so, I finally did make an appointment with the counseling center. 
  • @kagesstarshroom that’s great you took that first step.  I hope counseling goes well for you.  

    Afm back to having nightly nightmares again. 
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