TTC After a Loss
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Re: March Randoms

  • So since I'm benched, I'm putting this here. I'm technically in the TWW and I've been temping again. 1) I'm kinda bummed that my chart looks the same as it always does, which means I've spent a lot of time looking for meaning in temps that meant nothing; and 2) part of me still thinks, "maybe we'll get an oopsie!" Seriously? I kind of want to smack myself. 
  • @ruby696 I have spent an embarrassing amount of time looking at my past and current charts comparing and trying to draw some meaning of the similarities and differences. I just can't help myself. 
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  • @emeraldcity1214 I'm embarrassed to admit that when my RE's office called yesterday and left a message that they had the results of my hcg test and that I needed to call them back (as opposed to just saying I was at zero), my first though was "omg, it went up and I'm pregnant again!). Uh, no. They wanted to talk to me about whether I wanted to do IUI or IVF.🤦‍♀️
  • This whole process has literally made me a crazy woman so I probably would have had the same thoughts. 
  • Count me in as another crazy woman. I’ve spent so much time comparing charts, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know why I bother to temp after O is confirmed actually. 
  • One of the many downfalls of RPL is that I have multiple bfp charts to compare. But really, they all pretty much look the same until after I get a bfp anyway (says the crazy person that continues to temp for weeks after a bfp, cause why not add more stress to the process?). I'm with you @bakerstreetboys, I don't know why I bother to continue temping. But I can't imagine that I would have the willpower to stop, so the madness continues.
  • I definitely wouldn't be able to stop. I need all the data I can get. 
  • So I’ve been trying to lose weight since Christmas and it’s been super slow.  I had a really good loss this week, I was down 3.3 for a total of 8 now.   I hate how slow this process is! 
  • @Mack2342 that’s awesome!! That’s a big loss for one week! It’s so frustrating how easy it is to put it on but how hard it is to take it off!! I’m also working on losing and it’s just so hard... I just LOVE food! Haha
  • @char245 I love all sweets! Lol.  It is frustrating. I get so mad bc I gained a lot of weight with my son and then it’s been a battle with the losses after that.  I’ve been consistently losing 1 lb a week but gained last week so I was very excited with the 3 lb loss this week.  Maybe we should start a healthy thread again.  We had one a while back but I don’t think it’s been used in while 
  • @Mack2342 and @char245 I would love a healthy eat/exercise thread. I need some accountability. 
  • I’d love to join a thread like that. I desperately need to get back on track with it. 
  • Hi ladies - 

    1. Love the healthy/exercise thread idea 

    2. Should I be asking for anything “extra” for the dilation part of my procedure? Let’s just say I passed out during an IUD insertion and I’m more nervous about things going in to my cervix than anything else.... 
    **tw**


    married 11.1.14

    ttc #1 since 5.18

    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone

    d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks

    bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI 

    little girl A born 3.26.20

  • @chichiphin I was under general anesthesia for a d&c - I can't imagine they won't do the same for you. As long as you can handle the IV, you should do okay. 
  • @chichiphin are you taking about where they insert the laminaria a day before to help dialate the cervix? I don’t know how that compares to an IUD procedure, but they numbed the area so you don’t feel much other than pressure. I had pretty bad cramps that evening also, which was not fun. I think they keep it limited on what you can take medication-wise since you would go under anesthesia for the D&C the next day, but it can’t hurt to ask if there is something that can calm nerves. I hope your procedure goes OK.
  • Oh...@mackorori, I assumed they did it all after the general anesthesia. But I guess that makes sense if you're further along. 

    @chichiphin I used one of my leftover pain pills from my medicated loss before my saline sono became I have a hard time, as well. It made the procedure much easier. I would definitely ask for something extra. Good luck <3
  • @ruby696 yeah, I didn’t have the dilation for my first D&C which was 11 weeks, this last one was 13 weeks. I’m not sure how they decide if there is a cutoff how far you are along if that is needed.
  • @chichiphin I’d definitely ask for something. I remember inserting cytotec the night before my first d&c and I was supposed to be 14 weeks. I was miserable. Good luck with everything .
  • ruby696ruby696 member
    edited March 2019
    I've used cytotec twice - once with nothing and the second time with a pain pill and anti-nausea pill (which should tell you how awful the first experience was). Ladies, God forbid you ever have to use cytotec, or have to use it again, but if you do, demand meds. The experiences were like night and day. 

    @chichiphin I was given Hydrocod+APAP to use with the cytotec. It's specifically for cramping. It was amazing and I only needed one. It worked great for the saline sono too. Best part was it didn't make me feel loopy. 

    Eta: grammer
  • @ruby696 I’ll never forget how I felt after using the cytotec. It was terrible and I remember yelling at my ob the next day before the d&c because he told me I’d have some minor cramping. 
  • @kbrown2385 Same. And being blindsided made it so much more traumatizing. It was a completely different experience the second time. 
  • edited March 2019
    @chichiphin On day one with the insertion, they numb the cervix first with a needle. It feels like a pinch and then the actual dilating sticks don’t really feel like anything. I found it much less painful than having an IUD inserted, which hurt like a bitch. I did have pretty serious cramping that evening, but the doctor gave me an Rx for a pain killer. I used them all, plus Advil. Day one was more uncomfortable than day two, when you’re totally under. 
  • Thanks for everyone’s experience! I’ll be 15 weeks, and I’m most nervous about the pain from the dilation the day before my d&e. I’ll be completely under for the d&e. Mine is a 3 day affair, with tomorrow being the bloodwork, U/S, and state-mandated “counseling” session (thanks, PA). I plan on asking for some extra pain meds for Tuesday. I might honestly need something for my mental state more than physical, like Valium or something.
    **tw**


    married 11.1.14

    ttc #1 since 5.18

    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone

    d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks

    bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI 

    little girl A born 3.26.20

  • @chichiphin ask for whatever you think will make it easier - physically or mentally.  <3
  • chichiphin Good Luck with the D&C procedure. I know mine was fairly simple, although I was a lot less further along than you are. I think they gave me something for pain as well as emotional well-being through my IV (but this was in 2015, and my first PG/MC so I'm trying hard to remember here).  
    My biggest issue was that they ended up sticking my IV THROUGH my vein and then had to stick me again in the other hand! (Which DH compared to an exorcism where I levitated off the table, my head spun around, and I had green pea-soup vomit.) I think he over-exaggerated, although I did give the nurse shit about it. (Back before I had to get over my fear of needles on this journey).

    Just take it easy afterwards.  Even if you THINK you're fine and doing well a few days easy... do NOT be lured into that... take it easy, take it easy, take it easy!  I tried to dig up sweet potatoes like 4 days after mine cause I 'felt fine' and that tweaked some stuff, and I felt like I was dying from pain for the next several days, and they refuse to issue any decent pain meds for this stuff.  So... treat yourself like an invalid for a while!!!!
  • @dpchickens good to know about the recovery - I took Thursday and Friday off work and have the weekend. I’m hoping that work on Monday won’t be an issue. 
    **tw**


    married 11.1.14

    ttc #1 since 5.18

    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone

    d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks

    bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI 

    little girl A born 3.26.20

  • 40momma40momma member
    edited March 2019
    **TW for just explaining my last few weeks of being pregnant
    Waiting waiting waiting. It's killing me. I wasn't sure where to post this so I'll simply go here. I still haven't officially miscarried and the waiting is something completely foreign to me. My first three miscarriages I started bleeding before the OB confirmed the loss. This one is a missed miscarriage and I'm mad at my body for not doing what it was able to do in the past. At my first u/s at 7 weeks was the first sign something wasn't going well. Tech saw the sac but no baby. 9 week scan and there was the baby but no heartbeat and measuring very small, about 6 weeks. 10 week scan and no progress from the week before. OB confirmed the pregnancy wasn't viable. This was  Feb 27th. I started dark brown spotting on March 6th and figured it was the start. But it's been 10 days and still nothing. The spotting comes and goes. It's now 12w3d since my LMP and every day that goes by I feel like it's going to be more painful and more blood. But I'm scared to death to have a d&c. My first 3 losses I didn't have the surgery. I feel like I can't do anything but sit at home and wait for the inevitable. It's becoming very hard on our relationship as I don't feel like being social or leaving the house. Just needed to vent. 

    Edited to fix dates
  • @40momma I’m so sorry you’re going through that! My body was never able to do it on its own which is hard. What are your doctors telling you? I will keep hoping that this happens quickly for you!
  • @char245 they keep calling to check in but haven't discussed anything further. I was pretty adamant at my 10w scan that I didn't want the d&c but I've also come to realize that I didn't want any of this, so why should I expect to get to choose something now. If I actually got the choice with any of this I would have chosen a healthy pregnancy. I'm guessing if I still haven't miscarried by the time they check in next week they will schedule me for a d&c. If the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, that means it's been over 6 weeks and my body has still not miscarried. 
  • @40momma I’m so sorry you going through this.  My body never recognized my losses either.  For my sanity I needed it to be over.   So I’ve had 3 d & cs.  I’m happy to share my experiences if you end up going that route.  Did they suggest medication to move it along? I hope things start to move along so you can finally start to heal.  
  • @40momma I’m so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. My first pregnancy, my body never recognized the loss. I found out at 11.5 weeks the growth stopped at 6. I finally got a d&c at 15.5 weeks because nothing had happened. I’ve had 2 d&c’s and getting the physical part over with helped me to start healing mentally. Lots of hugs your way. I know how much the waiting sucks. 
  • Last week I realized that my due date for first loss was approaching.  I was a little sad but not too bad.  This past Tuesday would have been the day and the passed and I was fine.  Totally hit me like a ton of bricks when I was talking with my mom today.  She had a MC too and said I used to do that too.  She said even when you girls got to be in your 20s she would think I’d have a 30 year old too.  So I guess this never goes away.   I thought maybe as time went on I would stop thinking about what should’ve been x birthday and just remember my angels but I guess not.  My mom and I are a lot alike so I’m guessing I’ll be remembering each milestone.  
  • @40momma I'm so sorry. My body has never been able to do it on it's own and the wait is just miserable. I've used Cytotec twice and had a D&C once. As someone who likes to grieve in private, I prefer the Cytotec. If you decide to go that route, you may want to ask for a pain pill and anti-nausea meds to go with it. They make a world of difference. Hugs. <3

    @Mack2342 That's heartbreaking. It's one of the reasons I have such a hard time letting this go even. I feel like I'll always look back and feel like someone is missing.
  • @ruby696 I hope it just gets easier with time 
  • @Mack2342 they gave me a prescippresc for the cytotec but everything I've read says that's incredibly painful and many women end up needing the d&c after anyway. I'm so sorry about the anniversary date. Some days are just harder than others. 

    @ruby696 I'm with you, I can't stand the thought of crying in the hospital around strangers waiting for the d&c. 

    DH and I just had another big talk. The waiting is really hurting our relationship. If nothing happens by Monday I will call to make an appointment. 
  • @40momma I hope things go smoothly and quickly however they turn out so you both can and get back on track with your relationship and trying again.  
  • @Mack2342 that looks so good! Love the backsplash! Great work!
  • @Mack2342 I love it! Did you paint the cabinets yourselves and how hard was that to do? I think that's the route we are going to go.
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