April 2019 Moms

Randoms w/o 2/25

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Re: Randoms w/o 2/25

  • @professormama @mighty_montgomery @rennie1108 @thatbaintforbetty @MRDCle thanks, y’all. I found out that at least I don’t have to go back full time - it would be half. I still find 20 or so hours to be a lot. We were hoping I’d be able to get away with only one day a week. 
    My boss isn’t thrilled with this - she really didn’t care how long I took on leave, as long as I promised to come back “eventually”. I have her absolute full support. We are going to talk through a couple of other options that involve PTO exchanges and carefully requested days off. I am a planner and really hate that this is all so up in the air. Did DH gets no leave and is taking two weeks off out of pocket, starting whenever I go to the hospital. But he has a much more flexible schedule and job than I do. 
    My big thing is that I had taken a semester off school, and I have to go back eventually. I am determined to get the quality time with my daughter that we both NEED before I’m sucked back into school and work! 
    In the mean time, more thin mints for me. 
  • @lilpotatomama - I would talk with your doctor because you may not  be "medically" cleared to work until 6 weeks (8 weeks for C-section). Also it is totally OK to not be ok with this. I am not technically eligible for FMLA but I work for a HUGE fortune 500 company. They have to give me 8 weeks per the doc so it is not worth it for them to have to hire someone new and deal with all the paperwork for an extra 4 weeks. 
    Me: 32 DH: 31
    TTC #2 since January 2018
    Baby #1 DD  Born 8/25/2016
    BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18

     

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  • @kosmo86 I technically am not covered by FMLA either since I haven’t been there a year. (I’m like 6weeks shy) But my boss knows I have every intention of coming back and is cool with me taking the 6 or 8. I wish I could have more time but I’m lucky I’m getting what I am. She’s hiring herself an executive assistant and I’m supposed to cross train that person on certain aspects of what I do so they can help out while I’m gone. But I guess she’s having trouble finding someone so it’s kinda up in the air on if we’ll have someone by the time I’m out. She’s knows that I’m planning to work as close to delivery as possible but she’s also operating on the every day I show up is a blessing to her right now. (She regularly worked 12 to 14 hour days before I started)
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @gollygeeitsamy DS1 loved the swing, DS2 hated it.  My suggestion would be don’t buy anything expensive and if you have a friend that has one you can borrow or try out even better!

    @lilpotatomama that totally sucks!  I hope you work can come up with a compromise that works for you both.  I can’t imagine going back that soon.

    I told my boss I was taking 16 weeks out for maternity leave almost in the same sentence I told him I was expecting again.  Technically my job is only protected for 13 weeks BUT considering my boss has repeatedly said “when you come back...” and I took the same amount of time with DS2 I’m pretty sure I’m safe.  Also it looks like when I do come back from LOA I’m getting a new team to manage on top of the one I already have and my boss is pushing for a promotion with my new responsibilities.  So might be stressful when I get back but good in the long run.
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  • lyse01lyse01 member
    edited February 2019
    @professormama what did you order for Easter? Last year’s basket in our house had a gardening theme (prep for DD’s garden theme bday party in May), and I like to keep it non-candy and non-junk, even if I want all the Cadbury caramel eggs. 

    On a totally separate note, I’m sad I need to pass DD off to DH again this week to finish today’s pedicure (interrupted by FIL needs), but I think I may get bonus massage and exfoliation out of it, not just the polish 🤞 All I want is feet that don’t have flaking skin.
  • @lyse01 The biggest thing (money wise) for their baskets was that I splurged on matching a matching Winter Water Factory shirt and onesie for them - I'm totally obsessed with that company. They make really high quality clothing made in the USA and it's soooo cute. I also got this set of small play silks (two in the set, so one for each basket) to use instead of fake grass / whatever. 

    For the 4 year old the additional basket 'stuffers' I got were:
    Wooden Peg People - we will use these for arts and crafts, as well as creative play
    And a Book: "When God Made You

    And for new baby his basket will include: 
    Winter Water Factory Bandana / Bib
    Lamb Pacifier  
    And a Book: "Ollie's Easter Eggs

    And that's really it unless I see something else amazing and have a moment of weakness. Their baskets are very small and I really don't consider Easter to be a 'gift giving' holiday. I'll probably top it off with some hershey's kisses (we don't mind a little candy) and maybe a new toothbrush or something for the 4 year old? 
  • Dang it... forgot all about Easter 🤦‍♀️.  I love those ideas, @professormama!  Maybe I'll ask my sister to make matching shirts for DS1 and babe (she has a Cricut and a heat press machine for vinyl designs) and I did happen to buy an Easter book for baby already.  Now to find one for DS and maybe let the grandparents handle all the candy stuff (which they will... gladly... even if I ask them not to, hah).
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  • @kosmo86 - good point! I hadn’t thought about medical clearance. Maybe that can buy me more time. 
  • @lilpotatomama I was going to also point out the medical clearance.  Typically it's considered short term disability if your doctor writes you a note saying you are not capable of working. Typically your doctor also has to write you a note saying you are fit to return.  That's why so many places make their standard maternity leave a 2 week before and 6-8 weeks (depending upon vaginal vs C section) leave, doctors tend to issue those fixed work restrictions.  It may vary state to state but that's been what most of the people I know experience.  

  • @lilpotatomama I was going to mention getting a doctor’s note as well. Healing time after child birth might take longer than what they’re giving you. I’ve been reading up as much as I can about the laws where I live and figuring out what I qualify for. I want at least my 3 months that I’ve saved up for and I have also been looking into what I can qualify for financially since I don’t get paid leave through work.
  • @professormama nice finds! Thanks also for the reminder that I want to build our library of Christian stories, in formats other than a children’s bible. 

    @kangstadt yeah, the grandparents have candy more than covered here too. Honestly, I think the most special holiday tradition my mom did was make leprechaun footprints in the kitchen on St Patrick’s day (food coloring and ????) along with green toast and eggs for breakfast...all the candy days weren’t as special.
  • @thatbaintforbetty - yea I have actually worked here 2 years (as of this week!) but as a contractor up until last may so I am only 1 month shy of being covered. They also have zero plans for replacement while on leave. which is good and bad. I know the people around me will be affected by my leave but I have a ton of job knowledge that is REALLY hard to learn so they will pretty much bend over backwards to keep me bc it would take a minimum of 6 months for someone just to get up to speed. 

    @professormama- I was thinking about easter too! My C/S is scheduled for 4/23 so I am hoping I can still do an easter egg hunt for her again this year. She was so cute last year! 
    Me: 32 DH: 31
    TTC #2 since January 2018
    Baby #1 DD  Born 8/25/2016
    BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18

     

  • @mermaidca - Congrats! Also finances are hard! I had to co-sign on DHs car a few years ago bc his credit wasn't that great. Its hard, even into your 30s to deal with finances!  
    Me: 32 DH: 31
    TTC #2 since January 2018
    Baby #1 DD  Born 8/25/2016
    BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18

     

  • Well at least my sleeplessness has been productive. I woke up today with a plan to get us more closet space, a changing/baby stuff area, more room for our clothes, space for nightstands on both sides of the bed and a spot in the kitchen for bottles/baby things. Since it looks like we probably won’t be moving before she gets here, the lack of space/organization has been driving me nuts. And it requires buying minimal extra furniture! Which hopefully means I can get that new dining table that will fit our tiny nook better. 

    Now I just need to find the energy to move and clean all the things and we’ll be good. 
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I love how positive you are @mrdcle!!  I've been thinking about you so much!  Tomorrow will be a day, that's for sure.  
    Me: 31
    H: 36
    L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
    BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @lilpotatomama huge internet hugs! You have every right to be upset about the situation. I cannot even imagine having such a short amount of time with a new baby. I hate how our rights to bond with our babies aren't more protected in the work field. At least they have found a slight compromise, definitely look into something covering medical clearance. Apparently my disability stuff is split between my pre and post pregnancy so it won't affect the post partum period (found out today) never hurts to ask the question.

  • frenchfrymamafrenchfrymama member
    edited February 2019
    Throwing myself a small pity party. DH's boss literally just told us they are sending him back out of the country TOMORROW. He'll be gone at least three weeks. We just moved so I don't know anyone here yet and don't have a job so I'm stressing. Needing all the hugs and I've cream today 😔
  • @frenchfrymama NO!!! That's insane. When are you due again? I'm so sorry, that would totally stress me out. My DH travels for work and I'm stressed that he may be gone when I go into labor, but he would be within a 5 hour drive distance (they're keeping him on state assignments leading up to the birth instead of out of state ones). 
  • @lilpotatomama ditto what everyone else said about the ML. Most doctors won't even clear you to come back to work until 6 or 8 weeks. My SIL (a teacher who is due in July) said that she was going to go back to work at the start of the school year and I nicely pointed out that doctors around here don't clear you until 6-8 weeks. And most employers won't mess with going above a doctors' head.

    @mrdcle I would be calling people today to hire someone to come over the next few days to clean for you!
  • @mrstmoose we have the deep cleaner coming in a couple weeks! I’m thinking MIL might be willing to just do the floors and bathroom to tide us over till she gets here. 
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  • @frenchfrymama oh no that sounds terrible and so unfair that he has to go away right now 😢. I would  not be able to deal with that even though I know people where I live. Stay strong and hopefully you can feel some comfort in having people around here to chat with. Let's hope time will go by quickly until he's back again. 
  • @rennie1108 I'm due 4/16. So I'm not too concerned about him not being here for labor... But it still sucks!! This traveling thing is still super new to me, I'm still adjusting. And being this pregnant and alone just isn't fun anyway, in my opinion. Haha
  • @frenchfrymama Oh no, no, no! That is so messed up. I am so sorry! Are you at the start or end of April?
    Me: 36, H: 37 | Married: 10/15/16 | DS#1: 7/18/04 | DS#2: 4/18/19
    BFP: 1/26/20 | EDD: 9/20/20
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • lyse01 said:
    @professormama nice finds! Thanks also for the reminder that I want to build our library of Christian stories, in formats other than a children’s bible. 

    @kangstadt yeah, the grandparents have candy more than covered here too. Honestly, I think the most special holiday tradition my mom did was make leprechaun footprints in the kitchen on St Patrick’s day (food coloring and ????) along with green toast and eggs for breakfast...all the candy days weren’t as special.
    I recommend the Books "I Prayed For You" by Jean Fischer and "You Are Special" and "Because I Love You" by Max Lucado.

    Note: Many childrens books can also be found on YouTube being read aloud. I like to read childrens books before buying and I think all 3 of those can be found on there.
  • @lilpotatomama I EP’d with my first and I’ll be pumping again starting tomorrow/Friday so if you have any pump related questions send them my way and I’d be happy to answer. I just got the email from Aeroflow that mine shipped as well. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @harveyisaboysname Haha! I just watched one in my childbirthing class, and while I'm still terrified, it actually made me cry because it was so beautiful! I remember watching one in high school and thinking it was the most horrific thing I'd ever seen. 

    I don't actually know how I'm going to get through it, though.
  • @MRDCle have you tried the beaugen flange inserts? My 24mm flanges are too big and I heard that buying these inserts can create a better fit for oversized flanges as well as supply comfort to the nips. Wondering if I should get those or just buy smaller flanges. I know I’m going to be pumping hardcore with this one to create any sort of supply after my surgery. 
  • I have NOT but those look amazing. I’m in an exclusive pumping group on FB maybe I’ll see if they have any feedback?
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  • I rarely lurk on other groups, but May seems to have some (more) drama. Nothing too crazy, but there are a lot of people upset about their transition to a private group. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12740805/new-group#latest
  • Oh my gosh, 90 new messages. I can’t keep up. Haha. 
    @gollygeeitsamy we have the fisher price deluxe cradle n swing and it wasn’t literally the only thing DD would let me put her down in. I felt at the time like it was a total lifesaver. Don’t know if this kid will like a swing. But I thought it was worth it just for DD. 
  • We don’t have paid leave here, outside of PTO so hubs will take a few weeks off and then some half days here and there to be around new baby. 

    My SIL is coming April 28-May 4/5 so hoping baby comes before that (due 4-21/22) my mom comes May 7ish for three weeks, but will likely sleep at my sisters house that’s down the path a short walk. Excited to have visitors. :) 

    in othwr news, we are flooded in. I’m safe and not at risk but the neighbor town (4 miles away) if flooded and all but one path are flooded if there are an emergency. Usually I’m 35m from the hospital and now it would take closer to 60+ min. 
  • Omg I feel so far behind. I spent all day running errands, then doing taxes, and family night I church. Sorru I can’t keep of everyone to respond to 

    @mermaidca yay a van! What one did you get? I totally understand being stressed with financing. car purchasing is one thing DH and I have been able to purchase with cash because we don’t want car payments 

    @MRDCle I so admire how calm and positive you are. I for one would go nuts with all the noise from construction. lol. Good luck tomorrow! I’ll sending you go vibes all day 

    Easter: I’ve already bought Easter outfits for the kids since DD2 should be here by then(hopefully). I got the girls matching dresses and DS a complimentary shirt.(DH was disappointed I didn’t get him a matching one lol) I have no idea what I’ll be wearing then, except something nursing friendly. I was thinking this year to just get them the basic pre made baskets at the store because I won’t have the time or energy to shop for three basket

    I got an amazing deal on a newborn photo package. All the photographers packages were half off, so I got newborn, 6month, and 1year for the almost the same price as a newborn package. Now to figure out what the rest of us will wear lol
  • I’m epic level of tired and achy tonight. Like walking = shooting pain from my lower belly all the way through to my thighs. I was going to work a little more tonight after I got my kid to bed, but that’s definitely not happening. 

    @blueberrymomma that’s so awesome about the newborn shoot deal!! I got the names of a couple photographers in my area and it’s on my to-do list to start comparing their work and prices. Fingers crossed I can get something at a reasonable rate. 

    @kbirchtree yikes. Be safe! 

    @MRDCle good luck tomorrow, mama. I’m thinking of you. I really hope you can get some decent rest tonight. 
  • @kbirchtree woah! You’re in NorCal, right? I’ve been watching the flooding on the news, so crazy! My boss lives right behind a river and the neighborhood a few blocks from her was evacuated during the last storm earlier this month. I got a bit nervous, but thankfully it didn’t come up high enough on her side to flood. I’m at her house all day basically so idk how I would have put a baby, a Great Dane, and a Doberman in my car :D  
    stay safe over there! 

  • @blueberrymomma yea I wanted to do cash but there was just nothing good enough for the money everyone was asking.  I ended up getting a Honda Odyssey Touring.  So fully loaded and much fancier than the basic Chevy Uplanders I was originally looking at. Ha.
    Me: 31
    H: 36
    L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
    BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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