PGAL Check-In w/o 2/20

zuuls_mom · February 2019

Welcome all new members. No TW needed here for loss discussions, but please use a TW to discuss living children.

How far along are you/EDD?

Current mood?

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs?

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary?

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers?

zuuls_mom · February 2019

How far along are you/EDD? 9/12 / 10+6

Current mood? Still extremely anxious. I'm right around when they suspect I lost my last pregnancy so I am feeling a lot of emotions.

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. MMC back in Oct.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? Next appt is the 26th. I'm right around when they suspect I lost my last pregnancy so I am feeling a lot of emotions.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary? I forgot to take my progesterone this morning and I am freaking out. I know it's not going to do any harm and I am supposed to start weaning down to one pill a day next week anyway, but I am still so on edge about it. The thought of losing this baby and having to go through first tri again gives me so much anxiety.

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers? I'm gonna go with finger sized nipples. I'd just wear a really padded bra and hope they never get cold. Although, I am sure they will at some point in which case helloooo. But maybe they would help with breastfeeding? lol

kiddiesandkitties · February 2019

How far along are you/EDD? 8+6, 9/26. That seems SO stinking early still! WTF, time!!

Current mood? Just tired and sore.

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. Infant loss, suspected SIDS, 2 months old, Oct 2018.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? Appt Friday with the NP for family history, intake, etc. I am seeing a new OB office from my last pregnancy because I deemed it too stressful possibly going through L&D, etc and having it be identical to the last time around - andplusalso I got to know the nurses and people at the old office and I don't know who does/doesn't know the story, so I don't want to have to answer 'hows the baby' / 'who's watching her' / etc., so am curious how they'll use our loss history in the tracking of this pregnancy, if at all. We are obviously very concerned that we could have possibly missed something last time around.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary? Rave: I have been cooking ALL THE THINGS and it's fantastic. I made soft pretzels, blueberry scones, and chocolate chip cookies this morning. My mom also told me I look like I'm feeling good, so that was nice to hear. Especially since I feel like I look like CRAP, my hairs a mess, my toddler broke all my makeup, and I'm flipping TIRED. Rant: I am so sore. My lower back and hips, especially. Preg pillow is doing nothing for it. I don't know what to do to make it better but I'll never survive 30+ more weeks of this.

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers? OK, I love this way too much, and am struggling in the most comical way to envision nipple sized fingers. Like, the length? So super short? I think I'm going to go with finger sized nipples. Also, DH keeps asking how much longer till my nips go from average to full blown bologna slices. TBH, I'm wondering the same. I know the dreaded day is coming. They always get so awkwardly big and weird. So TMI, sorry, friends.

40momma · February 2019

How far along are you/EDD? 9w1d based on LMP

Current mood? Anxious, nervous, completely BSC

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. 3 losses in 2017, all before the 8 week mark. I'm now on daily injections in my tummy of a blood thinner, baby aspirin, extra folic acid, a few extra vitamins and weekly acupuncture.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? 2nd u/s in 2 hours. My first u/s at 7w they just saw the gestational sac at 15mm. Dr didn't seem too optimistic. Now 2 weeks later we are really really really hoping to see a little bambino in there. I still have symptoms so I'm praying really hard that the last one was just too early. It's so crazy to think that in 2 hours so much can change for me.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary? I have no idea how I made it through the last 2 weeks but somehow I'm here again. Please show me a wiggly little bean today

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers? Oh boy. At first thought I'd go for the finger sized nipples but for 1, I guarantee you DH would never stop trying to play with them and for 2, after I woke with super sore nipples this morning, I would think if they were any bigger, they would hurt like a MF. So sadly I'm changing my mind and going with nipple sized fingers. And just invest in fancy gloves that mask the size.

@zuuls_mom getting over that last anniversary date will be a welcome sigh of relief. I'm now past all of mine which takes one less worry from me. Thinking of you over the next few days.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@kiddiesandkitties I think I would do the same, honestly. It would be really hard to have the constant reminder/familiar feeling as the last pregnancy and birth. I hope all goes well and you love this new team!

@40momma I am thinking of you and hoping so hard that there is a wiggly little one in there to see! Two weeks of limbo is so hard, but you did it! Hopefully it is smooth sailing from here on out for you.

kiddiesandkitties · February 2019

@40momma PRAYING for you and little bean!! Will be waiting for your update later on!! Everything crossed till then!!

MsBeachNJ · February 2019

@40momma praying for a great appointment for you!!

nomangos23 · February 2019

@40momma I knew the appt was this week, just didn't realize it was today. I am SO SO SO hopeful for you.

boolala23 · February 2019

How far along are you/EDD?

11wks 3 days/ Sept. 7 or 9 (one of those I can't remember from the top of my head lol)

Current mood?

Nauseated to the max & been in bed reading pretty much all day so far because I am feeling very gross. It seemed like the nausea was starting to subside on the 10th week but it has returned full blast this week. I don't want anything to eat other than anything with a citrus taste.

If you haven't already and want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable.

This is my first pregnancy.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs?

February 28th is my second ultrasound appointment. Really hoping to hear good news.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary?

Why is my hair always oily and what is this strange taste I keep tasting in my mouth??

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers?

I think finger sized nipples. Haha

blitzybee · February 2019

My my app is giving me a hard time with cutting and pasting at the moment, but I’ll just send some notes..

@40momma thinking of you! We are all rooting for some good news.

@zuuls_mom ugh. So anxiety provoking to be at the same marker now, but chances are that everything is great! Do you have an appointment somewhat soon to see your little bean?

@kiddiesandkitties that’s a smart plan to change over. No need to be stressed everytime you walk into the office.

@boolala23 ugh. I hope you feel better fast. My nausea is always worse if dehydrated, tired, or acid reflux. I don’t know if that helps, but here’s hoping a day of rest gives you a good day tomorrow!

40momma · February 2019

So not the best news. There was progress from the last scan and there's now a baby but no heartbeat and I'm only measuring 3mm and yet I'm 9w1d from my LMP. OB said to prepare for a loss but she wouldn't rule it out just yet and asked me to come back in a week. Unfortunately there's no OB's on duty until 2 weeks from now so now we wait again. I figure my body will let me know within that time frame anyway. She suggested we look into donor eggs. I can't even fathom going through all of this again but I'm just going to try to take each day at a time right now.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@40momma Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you’re still in limbo. Is there anywhere else you can go for a scan in a few days? I’m crossing everything that this little one is gonna make it.

40momma · February 2019

@zuuls_mom I don't think so but I guess I could try. I feel like my body should tell me what's going on anyway but I know that's not always the case.

flowerintherain · February 2019

@40momma I'm so so sorry that you're still waiting for answers. I truly hope and pray that you just ovulated late and baby's heartbeat will be detectable any day now.

@boolala23 Is the taste in your mouth metallic? That happens during pregnancy sometimes...so weird.

@kiddiesandkitties good luck at your appointment on friday! Praying for a healthy bouncy little bean. Also, yum! I wish I could bake like that!

@zuuls_mom I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious

I know it's hard. Do you have a fetal doppler? You can hear the heartbeat by now usually. Mine gives me so much reassurance. I check on baby every day.

How far along are you/EDD? 11+4, 9/6

Current mood? Stressed out. Sorry if its TMI, but I've been having some light brown mucousy dischange since Monday night. I can still hear baby on the doppler though, so that's reassuring. And my doctor doesn't want to see me unless it gets worse, which thankfully it hasnt. But I still feel like any kind of spotting is not normal at this point in the pregnancy

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. MMC at 9 weeks January 2017 and an infant loss 10/5/17 @ 9 days old.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? We saw baby on monday and it had caught up in growth (was measuring a whole week behind at last ultrasound), and had the MaterniT21 test done. I'll start cervical length checks and weekly progesterone shots in 5 weeks.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary? I really hope this spotting stops soon. And I'm ready for some warm weather. I'm a Texas girl living in Arkansas and I can't handle this 20 degree weather, ice, and freezing rain. I wasn't made for this!

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers? Hahaha this question. Finger tipped size nipples would be ok. Nipple sized fingers wouldn't be very functional though. So I guess I go with finger sized nipples. I'd just tape em down and tuck em in.

blitzybee · February 2019

@40momma dang it😞 I’m so incredibly sorry for the situation you are in.

rms924 · February 2019

@40momma I’m so sorry you are still in this limbo. I echo @zuuls_mom- can you go somewhere in a few days to get scanned? Hugs.

@flowerintherain I’m experiencing the same thing. Sometimes it’s bloody mucous. Dr told me it was an irritated cervix? But dh and I have not been dtd do not sure what’s up. Keep me posted. It comes and goes for me ...

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@flowerintherain yes, I have one! We’ve been able to find the HB once. I’m trying not to use it too often, but I’m probably going to cave and do it tomorrow.

RedBreast35 · February 2019

So many hugs @40momma

I'm really sorry you're still stuck in limbo, and will keep everything crossed for good news!

kiddiesandkitties · February 2019

UGH @40momma I can't believe they're leaving you in limbo for two more weeks!! There isn't anyone else at the practice who could see you in the interim? An U/S tech or NP or something? Praying for a positive result and short wait time for you

MsBeachNJ · February 2019

@40momma I am sorry to hear there is still uncertainty. I will continue to pray for growth & a healthy heartbeat at your next appointment! Hugs to you, hang in there.

nomangos23 · February 2019

@40momma Ugh, I really sorry to hear this.

flowerintherain · February 2019

@rms924 that's what my doctor suggested too, but we haven't dtd in over 2 weeks. I'm going in today at 1:30 to hopefully get some answers. I have an incompetent cervix and a history of preterm labor, so I'm hoping this isn't the start of my cervix trying to dilate. I'll keep ya posted. Hopefully it stops soon for the both of us! Because it's nerve wracking.

kgg2241 · February 2019

@40momma I am so sorry to see this update. I'll be thinking of you and praying for the best outcome. Big big hugs to you.

rms924 · February 2019

@flowerintherain I haven’t had an incompetent cervix before **TW 2 pregnancies TW** but I wondered that too. It looked like a mini bloody show (sorry, terrible term). I’m going into my NT I’m 2 weeks and I’ll ask them to check my cervix. I think we should stay on top of them to make sure everything is progressing.

Ftr- I am a very high maintenance patient! But, my ob always says never go to bed worried- so, I’ll take him up on that!

Eta: TW

40momma · February 2019

I managed to convince the lab to give me an HCG test even though it wasn't requested by my dr. It came back at 56,000 at 9 weeks. I know that really doesn't tell me much as my only numbers to compare it to are from week 5 but I'm grasping at straws. Level is in the proper range so that's good. Still waiting and trying to get in for another scan next week.

rms924 · February 2019

@40momma - I am sorry if you went through this somewhere. What are your cycles like? # of days. When did you dtd. Let's see if we can't figure out if you are just super early on/ovulated late...I am sorry if you posted this somewhere already.

40momma · February 2019

@rms924 my LMP was Dec 19. I run anywhere from 28 - 33 day cycles. We dtd on Dec 31 and Jan 6 and Jan 7. I'm banking on the 6th or 7th. I'm also holding on to the hope that both u/s were done by someone in training. The first one was a medical student, the second one was an OB looking for more u/s training. And I have a tilted uterus. There's conflicting reports out there that say u/s with a tilted uterus could show 1-2 weeks behind. I know I'm grasping at straws but I need anything to get me through the next 2 weeks.

rms924 · February 2019

@40momma, I've totally read that about a tilted uterus. Coupled with an inexperienced tech, that's def a good explanation. You have to get it just so to be able to get the heartbeat (a little quick googling!). I put your dates in here. I used your Jan 7 date, which puts you at a little over 8 weeks. I am really holding out hope. Can you request a more experienced u/s tech, given your situation?

40momma · February 2019

@rms924 OB said at the u/s (on Wed) that I was showing as if I was 6w. Still not great but with an inexperienced tech and a tilted uterus, I'm holding on.

sunshine2417 · February 2019

@40momma can you just go to another clinic somewhere else in a couple days or another week and act like you're a new patient with no history at another clinic for this pregnancy? Or even tell them the other place couldn't see you and you need to be seen sooner? I'm so sorry you're in limbo, that is the most frustrating place to be--you want to hold out hope, but you don't want to get your hopes up too high. It is so so so frustrating! Sending all the love and positive vibes your way!!!

40momma · February 2019

@sunshine2417 @rms924 hospital just called, they are squeezing me in on Wed next week.

kgg2241 · February 2019

@40momma glad to hear they are getting you in. I'll be thinking of you and hope this week goes by quickly for you!

kiddiesandkitties · February 2019

We told DD tonight about the pregnancy (almost 6). She has been dreaming about me being pregnant again and desperately wanted me to be. She was thrilled to hear and kissed my belly 1000 times before bed. Played a quick game of Rock Paper Scissors really quietly with the baby, and then deemed it a girl because she ‘thought about it in the car’. And then we were getting into PJs in her room, and she said ‘mama, I hope this baby stays safe. I hope this one doesn’t die too. Do you think it will?’ 😭 PGAL will just a hatter your heart over and over, won’t it? 💔

40momma · February 2019

@kiddiesandkitties oh my god that breaks your heart. But also, what an incredibly compassionate DD you have.

theglitteredpterodactyl · February 2019

Hey all. Haven’t done a post in the main sept 19 intro thread be since I’m just not ready, but I’ve been lurking here for a bit and sending really positive sticky thoughts to everyone. PGAL is such a shitty place to be.

@kiddiesandkitties that’s super sweet of your kiddo and i definitely teared up reading it because omg 😭 kid honesty is so heartbreaking sometimes

@40momma proud of you for advocating for yourself to get seen and I hope the appt full of good news

How far along are you/EDD?

Probably 10 or 11 weeks? (dating/first ultrasound is next week)

Current mood? Really checked out in general with this pregnancy. Trying to find ways to feel enthusiastic but mostly just waiting for the end, whenever that happens.

If you haven't already/want to again, please share your loss history, if comfortable.

**TW: live baby. My kiddo was born in Sept 15** and since then I’ve had five miscarriages. Most were around the 8 week mark but a year ish ago I had a miscarriage at home at the 14 week mark and it was pretty horrific.

Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? The entire first trimester feels like a shitty anniversary of everything that could go wrong. And this is my 7th time being in the first trimester so I’m feeling really over all the symptoms and discomfort.

Rants/Raves/Dear Diary? I’m soooo tired of this. I feel like I’m just waiting for a miscarriage and it’s no fun and it’s impossible to feel enthusiastic. My partner is excited and on board and the optimistic one which is nice but I’m just puking constantly and physically miserable and too nauseous to take my bipolar meds so I’m a wreck. Which is why I’m dumping all my angst into this post (sorry not sorry? also thanks?)

ETA thanks to everyone who posted about at home fetal dopplers. I ordered one and am tentatively looking forward to it arriving

GTKY: I'm taking these in a new direction and it's abouts to get weird. Buckle up. Would you rather have finger sized nipples or nipple sized fingers?

This is a really horrifying question that makes me queasy trying to picture lol but I’ll say finger sized nipples. I’m an artist and very hands on so I don’t want little nubs to work with.

40momma · February 2019

@theglitteredpterodactyl my heart breaks for you. Loss sucks. RPL sucks. This whole roller coaster of a ride sucks. I hope that once you get past the 14th week, you'll be able to breathe a bit better. Were you able to get any tests done? Any sort of answers to your losses? And fell free to dump away on this board, that's what we are here for.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@kiddiesandkitties oh man, that’s so heartbreaking! She sounds so sweet and loving.

theglitteredpterodactyl · February 2019

@40momma thank you. I think I’m waiting for the 20 week scan. I take lithium so there’s an added risk of heart defects for the fetus. I joked with my bestie who knows that I’m vbasically waiting until I got my maternity sweatpants before I’ll consider enthusiasm.
My health care has been fairly meh—I had an ultrasound tech tell me maybe I imagined a positive pregnancy test with my first miscarriage. I also had a low thyroid issue show up in a blood test after a miscarriage. For the 14weeker (nn Stormy) I think they said the placenta wasn’t in a great place? That memory is definitely fuzzy though. I also am a (light) smoker and I’ve had a hard time in the past going cold turkey (not this time tho— not even a whiff of nicotine since the positive rest). So I think between lithium and light smoking and occasional low thyroid levels I get the shrug and meh of life happens from my doctors.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@theglitteredpterodactyl welcome and I’m so sorry you aren’t able to feel optimistic. It’s so unfair that we’ve been stripped of the blissful joy that should come with knowing you’re expecting. Not the all encompassing fear and stress. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you get good news at your appt. It’s cruel they’re making you wait so long for an ultrasound!

theglitteredpterodactyl · February 2019

@zuuls_mom thanks. Honestly I know it’s immature but I was just too afraid to make the appt. i waited like two weeks to even call and schedule after my positive test. I kept expecting to spontaneously bleed (two miscarriages happened after I scheduled the first appt and one happened the day before my appt). During my nurse phone call pre appt appt thing she asked if I wanted to be on the cancellation list for a sooner appt and I was literally like no I think it’s gonna die the second I have this appt so let’s just put it off as long as possible. I have like no desire to go through another first ultrasound and have it mean nohing in the end.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

@theglitteredpterodactyl omg I’m relieved they didn’t make you wait! I totally get the fear leading up to appts. Before each of mine this time I’ve been convinced something was wrong. It’s such a horrible mind game.

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