Out of Town Guest Advice

Re: Out of Town Guest Advice

• saraleigh2 member

  February 2019

  Set boundaries before she arrives and stick to it, better yet ask DH to set expectations (read: lay down the law) with her before she comes or tell her not to come if your expectations and hers don’t match up. I think the excuse that this is an intense, special time for your family and that anyone who isn’t coming to your home with the expectation of supporting your family (preparing meals, dishes, laundry, chores, running errands for you) should wait for a better time to socialize (cuz this ain’t it)! 
  
  If DH or SIL need convincing ask them to read the book ‘The First 40 days’. 
  
  You deserve to to be honored, loved and cared for especially during this tremendous transition to mother (or mother again)! 

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• blueberrymomma member

  February 2019

  If she wants to come in May, perhaps ask her to come towards the end of the month. That gives you 4-6 weeks depending on when baby decides to come. Also how long is she planning on staying? Anything more than a long weekend would be too much for myself, unless they were super helpful like my mom. 

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• ysotte member

  February 2019

   @saraleigh2 is right that you should set some expectations if you’re worried she’s not going to help out while she’s around. Visiting someone who has just had a baby is a lot different from a regular family visit. I visited my sister about a month after she had my niece. Her and her fiancé were both exhausted and the house was a bit of a mess. I did chores for them and helped with the baby so they could shower/eat food. If someone’s going to visit during that time where you’re getting into your groove with a new baby, they shouldn’t be sitting around watching you struggle.

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• kaitykins member

  February 2019

  I had to turn down a friend with baby #1 and basically suggest she not come because I wouldn’t be very able to visit. With family it depends on the relationship. My mom is coming for 3 weeks in May, (I’m due A22) but staying elsewhere (a few houses down with my sister). 
  
  I’d say send an invite for specfic time and date and be clear, “we’d love you to visit either this weekend or this one and get some snuggle time with your new niece/nephew, please make sure your x vaccines are up to date first!”  Good luck!

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• tumblefluff member

  February 2019

  Honestly having a house guest who you will likely have to “entertain” on top of taking care of a newborn would be out of the question for me.  Maybe in a few months when you and the baby has somewhat of a routine down I’d be more open to it but I know for myself I would not have wanted guests staying over just after I had either of my kids unless it was someone I was very close to and knew would be helping me out.  

  
  
  
  
  
  

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