**TW**
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings?
Re: TTCAL w/o 2/11
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC in Nov. CP earlier this month.
Status: benched (CD9)
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm doing a lot better emotionally. This loss was a little bit easier than my first, but still just plain sucks. I'm feeling relieved about not trying... although we really need to find where we put our stash of condoms because we're approaching my FW and I don't want to take any chances!
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I might do a few OPKs this cycle just to keep my chart/cycle continuity on FF
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I'm usually early or right on time. Being late is one of my pet peeves, especially with meetings at work. If I do have to be late, I will generally send a text/email letting the other person/people know.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC March 2016, CP last month
Status: WTO- CD12
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm feeling a little better despite being at work with 2 pregnant people around me- my parents are coming over on Wednesday *TW to watch DD TW* while we go out to dinner for Valentines Day and they don't know about the CP. I hope they don't say anything about having baby #2 or I might snap!
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Going to start opks this week and see if my cycle got messed up from the CP, hopefully not.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I'm usually early- especially being I am running the meeting a lot of the time so I need to get there to set up my power point etc.
@Shamrocandroll I am glad you are feeling better- I agree the CP was easier recovery wise than the MMC but I was still surprised how emotional I was about it all.
**TW
*edited for wordage
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. : MMC 2/19
Status: Benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm doing better than last week. I got a new bbt and some wondfos over the weekend, starting to temp again is at least making me feel like I am doing something.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Thursday another blood draw to track HCG down
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I hate being late, I am usually always early to everything.
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 MMC's and 2 CP's.
Status: Benched.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rave: I started spotting, so CD I will be here soon! I'll (hopefully) only be benched for another month!
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I need to do another hcg test today or tomorrow. FX it's a zero!
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? Early! Always. Lateness is one of my biggest pet peeves.
@shamrocandroll Can you just go out & buy any condoms if the stash doesn't get found? I get YI really easily, so we have to use non-lubed condoms which are sTuPiDLy hard to find in a store, so we always know where they are in our bedroom. I am glad you are doing alright emotionally. I have been thinking about how one loss has been harder for me than the other, so I am glad to hear you say that-- I wasn't sure if this was something I was willing to admit, so it's helpful to hear you say it.
@Spartanrd4 I also hope yr 'rents don't try to apply any pressure. I struggled w/ being able to be coherent in the face of anyone trying to talk to me about getting KU this past holiday season.
@hanshotfirst77 I am looking forward to being able to track temps/etc again for that same reason, I feel like it will make me feel like I am doing something besides wallowing/nothing.
@ruby696 I also hope you're only benched one more cycle! FX on that & yr HGC reaching zero.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP in Oct. '18, MMC Jan. '19 w/ d&c Feb. '19
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am generally struggling. Yesterday was particularly hard--lots of just emotions/general sadness/inability to cope/rationalize at times. I was okay until I felt like I couldn't DO anything. Like I couldn't read or write or clean or _____. I tried to give myself a do-able to-do list today, but I am also just...behind, and the less I do, the more everything stacks up. I gave a group of tasks to some colleagues, so there's one project I don't have to worry about this week, but the world just keeps going & I feel so stuck. I'm struggling with not feeling like myself or being able to be/act like myself. I am an optimistic go-getting who loves being busy. But I can't be that person right now, and it's really really hard. // OKAY because I am generally an optimist, I do feel the need to add some good things here: I am getting a book from the library today that I was gonna buy on Amazon until I realized it was at our local library, which I can walk to. It is beautiful outside right now (69 degrees & partly cloudy, no rain predicted,) so I will enjoy the walk. DH also continues to be super There For Me, despite the pain he himself is going through over the loss.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have my post-D&C appointment this Friday & I am not sure what we'll be going over there.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? Earlyyyy or on time. & like someone else above said, if I am going to be late, I let someone know. Also, I hate being late, so I only tend to do that w/ meetings that are more lackadaisical & also will let someone know if I'm gonna be, like, even ~5 mins late.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
@ruby696 Fx your test shows it's 0! It's so odd hoping for that, I am hoping the same for me on Thursday!
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
@shamrocandroll im glad you are doing a little better emotionally. Being benched was like a huge sigh of relief for me.
@Spartanrd4 glad youre able to go out for valentines day and get some alone time with dh.
@ruby696 fx its finally down to zero! such a PITA!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 5 losses; 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18
Status: tww
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? ready for this cycle to be over so we can move on to the next. Im pretty positive this round was unsuccessful so its annoying having to wait for af to show her face.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? just the hpt on wednesday
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? Early or on time. I find people who are late irritating. It shows they have zero respect for anyone else.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
~ Good afternoon ladies. 2 pregnancies, 2 losses MMC September 2018 with D & C; MMC February 2019- I took the misoprostol to induce this time around. No symptoms. No cramping. No bleeding. No heartbeat at ultrasound last week & hcg levels dropped.
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
~I feel a lot of guilt. Guilt for not being "able" to grow this baby properly. Guilt for almost expecting the worst. Guilt for wanting to get some answers & try again. I was so excited to be pregnant again & I was really feeling positive the first 6 weeks. I felt great! Then, I felt symptoms waning. Everyone says they can go up & down, so I tried to stay optimistic; but my gut said otherwise.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? We have an appointment with a RE next Friday, 2/22. I look forward to getting some guidance so we can try again.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings?
~On time Usually a few minutes early.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 losses in 2018 (MMC, CP, MMC)
Status: End of TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Fianally put the tattoo decision to bed with DH (in my favor). If Wed test is negative, I will be scheduling with the shop that day. He's not thrilled but understands its importance to me. I'm scared. I have 2 already and have been under the needle 3 separate times (had updates done to one 2 years ago) and I am really not the greatest canvas. I'm ansty. I know this one is going to feel particularly painful due to it being simply a line drawing. ImI'hoping can rally because it really will be my most important piece.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? HPT on Wed morning
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? usually on time or even early. But it does depend on what exactly it's for and what in my life is going to interfere. I mean, I always shoot to be on time but....
More work came to me so I'll be back for tags soon hopefully...
@omg1108 I hate that feeling of guilt--it is so stressful, and the rational side of me really fights against it. It's funny how I can know something is completely irrational but still not be able to help but to feel it.
@hanshotfirst77 Yes, the ups and downs are a good way to describe the difficulties, esp. when the downs are very very down. I just finished lunch & am getting ready for my walk now! I had to hold off because my neighbor got into a yelling match with someone walking by, and I called MH & he was like "lock the doors & do not leave the house." But that was over an hour ago, and I don't feel unsafe anymore. Also, at least one but probably both of our dogs would definitely defend me if anything were to happen (though I can't take either to the library haha). We live in a great neighborhood, but the neighbor that was involved, who lives behind us, is really bringing the place down. I don't have to walk by that house to get to the library though!
@shamrocandroll Yes to all of that exactly esp. to not wanting to imply any type of loss is automatically weighted differently than another, which is why I hesitated to say/want to feel that this one has been harder for me even though it has. Similarly to you in terms of not having as much time to process, I didn't know I was PG until rriiiight before my CP because we had been NTNP (though I had been actually trying more than I let on to MH), and so I was a *whirlwind* of all sorts of emotions, including a grief I didn't recognize as such at first, which made it hard/hard to recognize as such in the long run. This time has been difficult for me I think for two major reasons, and one being its the 2nd loss (I was so optimistic! I am just like that...it's hard for me to currently not be, I feel like I am not myself.) And the other being I rearranged my whole life in my head and so every little thing reminds me of it. I didn't have time to do that last time. // I would be annnnnoyyyed about not knowing where those boxes are either! I hate spending money? Is a weird thing about me? So yeah, FX that you find them ^_~*.
Okay, off to the library. I will let you all know if the book is any good, in case anyone is looking for/has been considering reading/purchasing an AL book.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 15 week loss Dec 2018
Status: cycle 2 after being benched 1 cycle. So technically cycle 3.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm struggling with people who haven't heard about my loss coming up to me and asking me when I'm due and how the baby is. Some days I handle it well and then days like today, I just bawl.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I'm waiting for genetic testing for my angel baby. Plus...TW mention of cancer... I got a blood draw to test for breast cancer genes. My mom was diagnosed at 34 and I wanted to know if I carry any of the genes. End TW...
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I'm usually late except for the rare occasion I'm slightly early or right on time.
@Spartanrd4 I was listening to a woman talking about pressuring her sister about when they were planning to have a baby. I just wanted to yell at her and tell her maybe she is trying and it isn't going well. Ugh, people just don't understand how hurtful they are being. I hope your family doesnt do that to you.
@hanshotfirst77 I also have a wondfo stash. They are just so cheap. I can pee on as many as I want and not feel bad about how much they cost.
@ruby696 CD1 over here too. I'm ready to start a fresh cycle. Hopefully you aren't benched much longer.
@kagesstarshroom I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Hugs❤
@kbrown2385 don't hate me because I'm chronically late. I will be headed out the door on time but then, it never fails, someone has to poop. So then we wait and then we are late. 😫
@omg1108 I have had the same guilt for wanting to move on and be pregnant again. I want it so bad that it actually hurts. So just know you spent alone.
@prpl11butterfly I'm so glad you're going forward with your tattoo. It will be beautiful.
@kagesstarshroom I'm so sorry for your loss. I too just had a D&C on 2/8 and I feel the same. So hard to be my usual optimistic self. I'm a mess of emotions. So glad your DH is supportive, I don't know what I would do without my DH by my side. Hope you enjoy your book.
@omg1108 I feel the guilt also. Like something is wrong with me for not being able to carry these babies to full term but I try to pull myself out of that dark hole fast. But we will try again and have to overcome those feelings again because we are strong. Hope you feel better.
@emeraldcity603 I'm sorry for your loss. I also have my good days and bad. Usually bad when I have to explain what happened to people. Good luck with your genetic testing. I too have to undergo testing also due to my mom's and aunt's and grandma's cancer history. Its never easy awaiting results.
AFM:
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: MMC @ 8wks 8/2018 & D&C @ 9wks 2/9/2019
Status: Benched, recovering
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Just had a D&C last Fri due to MMC. I'm 2 for 2 so pretty upset. Still recovering from the surgery physically and emotionally. Have great support system but I know they are worried about me so I feel like I can't really show how distraught and broken I really am because they will worry more. I don't want to burden them but I also need to grieve so I feel stuck.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting 4 pathology report from D&C. Have f/u appt on Thurs.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I'm always late to everything even when I try not to, I end up being late. Something I need to work on.
@shamrocandroll did you find them?! It amazes me how we lose some things that should be super obvious where we put them (like 2 big boxes of condoms lmao)
@Spartanrd4 my CP didn't mess my cycle up. I ovulated within normal range. I know others have been slightly messed up. But I think with CP it's fairly standard for things to go on as usual.
@hanshotfirst77 I started temping again shortly after my losses as well. It did give me that sense of doing something other then waiting. It was also good for me to have that slight glimpse into what was going on in my body.
@kbrown2385 I feel like we are in this together 100%. Sending hugs.
@kagesstarshroom I'm sorry your struggling. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. Just feel what you need and if doing nothing is how it goes, then that's okay. There's no rules on how to handle this. Thank you for the advice re:sitting for my tattoo. The artist will be a guy and DH will be there so it might be a tad odd. DH isn't a fan of ink sooooo I'd imagine men that approve of ink would be a huge jealousy trigger (seriously his least attractive trait, dude I'm not going anywhere after 16 years just stfu)
@omg1108 I'm sorry your joining us here. I know how the guilt is, but it really isn't anything you could have done (and I know you've been told this dozens of times already).
@emeraldcity603 I'm sorry that the "news" hasn't spread. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Give me a scarlett letter so that people just know 🤷♀️
@maserrano714 I am so sorry to see you've returned. I know the feelings your struggling with all to well. It made a huge difference for me to see a counselor. I could be utterly distraught and a total mess with her once a week and it helped more then anything. It sounds like it would be good for you to have that outlet as well.
And also guys, I emailed the tattoo shop today. No sense waiting for bad news. At least I'll have something to look forward too.
@shamrocandroll I'm glad that you're starting to feel better emotionally. It's such a rollercoaster. We also haven't told our families about any of our losses, other than my Dad. I just don't know how to bring it up, I don't want to have to relive any of it, and I really don't want the constant "how are you doing" questions. I hope you found your condoms
@spartanrd4 Fx that the CP didn't mess up your schedule.
@hanshotfirst77 I have started temping and using OPKs too, just to feel like I'm doing something.
@kagesstarshroom I had those kind of days for weeks. It was like I literally couldn't get off the couch and do anything, and I just didn't care about anything. I binge watched Pretty Little Liars...all seven seasons. I hope that your walk to the library was enjoyable and that you got the book you were looking for. Hugs to you.
@kbrown2385 I'm sorry that you're feeling out this cycle. Fx that you get a nice surprise.
@omg1108 I felt so guilty too, I still do some days. Logically, I know there's nothing I could have done, but it still hurts. I hope that you start to feel better soon and that the RE has some good next steps for you.
@emeraldcity603 Oof, what a punch to the gut to have to hear those questions. I'm so sorry. I have left work in tears because of that situation. I hope you get test results soon for your J'19 angel, and that you test negative for the breast cancer gene. Hugs.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 loss in the last 14 months; 2 CPs, one MMC, and a recent medical termination at 16 weeks due to T-18. Oh wow, it still makes me start crying to write that.
Status: I think AF just started.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm trying to be positive and optimistic, but damn, it's hard. I really thought that we had walked out of the RE's office for the last time a couple of months ago.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope, just our 6 week post D&E appointment with RE next week.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? Always too early. I despise being late for anything!
@prpl11butterfly Jealousy is an odd beast. Maybe DH can chat up the tattoo artist and you can listen amusedly to distract yrself. That could be... interesting... Also, thanks for your advice. I am being hyper-aware of my moods and their patterns in case I can learn anything about how to proceed moving forward. You are right that I need to give myself permission to do nothing. Thanks, I need to keep hearing that.
AFM: Today is my first day back to work... I am glad for the distraction, but I am taking it easy. I am trying to make my lessons mostly the students doing work and me following up, rather than lectures (even though I very much enjoy lecturing!)
I know this is definitely different for all, but I was wondering if anyone has any advice on what might be good/standard to ask the doctor in my follow-up appointment (to my mmc/d&c) on Friday? This is loss #2 for me. The book I checked out from the library has some suggestions about possible testing I could ask for/about, but I want to make sure I go in with all the right questions, not just about possible testing, so I leave knowing as much as possible. I am a "need to know" sort of person. Being in the dark just ramps up my anxiety. My list, considering this, of what to ask is pretty slim. If there is a good Bump page or website that does this for me anyone knows about, a link would be useful as well. I've been having trouble finding decent resources online, which has been frustrating to me! Thanks in advance.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP in May, Twin MMC in August.
Status: TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Not very optimistic about this cycle. More hopeful about next cycle, because it will be the first after 3 months of a healthier lifestyle.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? None, but giving myself 1 more cycle after this one before seeking out some testing.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? I tend to be a few minutes early.
@ruby696 FX your time on the bench will be over soon!
@kbrown2385 **Hugs**
@kagesstarshroom I am so sorry that you had a bad day emotionally- sometimes its so hard to see all the good things around you when you are going through something so traumatic (and for me I felt really lonely through it all too). I hope you can get some self care in as well as for YH.
@omg1108 Guilt is so hard. This recent loss and the one before of course I blamed myself- that something was "wrong" with me when who knows why these things happen.
@emeraldcity603 I'm really sorry that you have to talk about the bad news over and over again- ugh its hard enough without having to tell everyone the story afterwards.
@masserano714 I am so sorry about your loss- I also had a D&C and the emotional recovery was much harder than the physical. Take care of yourself during this time.
@prpl11butterfly I've been thinking of getting a tattoo for awhile now- you make me want to take the plunge and get one! I'll probably wait until my 40th birthday.
@bakerstreetboys I try to be optimistic too but when you feel like the rug is always pulled out from under you at every turn its very difficult to be.
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
@dolewhipper Good luck with your testing. I didn't mind the testing because it felt like I was still doing something. I hope you get some answers.
@bakerstreetboys It's so hard to stay positive when you've been through so much. Hugs to you.
@maserrano714 I am so very sorry you're back. Hugs to you, too.
How is this group full of so many ladies that I have grown to adore? It's breaks my f*cking heart. It's just not fair. I am sending you all so much love.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 MMC in 2018 (Feb and Nov)
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I've been dealing with some mental health stuff lately, sorry for being MIA the last week or so. I have been lurking, tho, just no energy to post because I'm tired or saying the same damn thing about myself.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Got my blood test results and everything came back normal. I also had my ultrasound last weekend and the technician said that I have two large fibroids at the top of my ute but that they are not in the lining so they shouldn't have an effect on carrying a baby successfully. I knew about the fibroids but didn't realize that one of them is about 4 cm. I am waiting for the doctor to review the report and provide some input. I have little faith that anything productive will come of this and they'll tell me to just keep trying.
GTKY: Are you usually early or late to scheduled events/meetings? For meetings, I am always early or on-time. I prefer to be early so I have a chance to compose myself and chill for a minute. For social engagements, it depends on what it is. If there's a large party, I will probably not be the first one to arrive.
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
PS - I guess I'm a habitual aborter too (yay RPL), so you're not alone.
ETA: damn autocorrect
@kagesstarshroom I had 2 consecutive losses, and my OB said they wouldn't start to recommend testing until it's been 3 losses, and I'm still far more likely to go on to have a healthy pregnancy than not, so that was comforting to hear. She also told me that I could still request to have testing done if I really wanted to rule things out, and that was totally in my rights to ask for. She did tell me there's no medical reason for me to take a break from trying at this point, but did say she thought it was a good idea after I told her I felt like I needed one to reset a bit. So I guess kind of mixed messages there. I also asked her if there was anything I should be doing diet-wise, and she said in general it's good to work on being healthy overall, but that nothing specific was really proven to help with this. Our issue isn't necessarily getting pregnant. It's more staying pregnant.
@dolewhipper @hanshotfirst77 I also had to get the rhogam... twice in the last 3 months. I agree it's definitely like being kicked while you're down. My office also requires them to draw blood each time before they can administer the rhogam. So basically it's: sorry for your loss, please go to the lab to have your blood drawn, and then come back here tomorrow so we can stab you in the butt. They're obviously a lot more tactful about it than that, but that's how it feels.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
I do want to say I'm so so sorry to see faces popping up in this thread. @kagesstarshroom @hanshotfirst77 I'm sorry for your losses.
Today I was supposed to have an ultrasound. Today I was suppose to listen to my baby's heartbeat. Today I was supposed to see my little gummy bear rolling around in my uterus. Today I was supposed to caress the black and white glossy prints of my baby as we drove home.
But God had other plans and he took my baby to be with him. I know one day I will see my baby in heaven, but for now my empty arms ache to hold that child. Someday.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Sending you big hugs today
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20