I need some unbiased opinions. My friends and family are obviously 100% biased.
My ex bf who verbally and physically abused me for 3 years (we’ve been broken up just over a year) just got a job basically minutes away from the house my bf and I bought in December 2018. When the ex found out I was moving back to town (I moved 30 mins away because he was so crazy and stalked me), he told a mutual friend ‘tell Kelsey I’m taking kick boxing classes and I’m training’ I took this as a dumb threat (why else would I care about anything to do with his life? And plus it’s second hand gosssip) well my friends and dad want me to get a restraining order, my understanding is this would prohibit him from his job as it would be too close to where I live. Do I want to go through with this and potentially anger him to the point of retaliation or do I just take my chances that he won’t do anything ?
Guys, I put myself on the wait list for a golden doodle puppy in the spring/summer. We won't know whether or not we're definitely getting one for a while because she needs to have a litter of 8 or 9 for us to make the cut, but I'm excited and also feeling like I've lost my goddamn mind all at the same time. But LOOK AT THIS FLUFFERNUTTER (from an earlier litter)!!!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Dx: MFI 10/19- First RE visit 2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles 7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN 9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal 11/20- Mock transfer/ERA 12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN 3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021 12/21- Baby girl born!
im going to look into a peace bond. My understanding is that he would still be able to keep his job but that he wouldn’t be allowed to contact me at all. My only fear is just that once we broke up he went right to stalking and harassing me and he’s already proven to be physically abusive. I just want to sell our house and move back out of town.
@kels0091 I would consider contacting a local organization that helps women going through situations like this? I think that the peace bond sounds like something very fair on your part. I don't think it's fair at all that you are being re-traumatized by his choice to get a job so close to you, though I understand not wanting to stir the pot at the same time. I would also consider getting something like mace or something that might help you to feel safe if you do see him and feel threatened.
@kels0091 woops. I assumed you were in the states. Your peace bond sound like a good idea. And I do agree with @kagesstarshroom on getting some mace or similar protection. Travel aerosol hairspray works as well.
Question. If you were planning to get a tattoo on your wrist, would you run it by your employer first? I mean, my bosses H works for us and he has several visable when wearing a Tshirt (all the time basically). But ya know, men are different then women in the workplace. They've never made a fuss about my butterfly on my shoulder when that's visible and while it would be visible waaaay more often, it's going to be feminine and tasteful. MH is just worried and making me paranoid.
Edited because words are hard with migranes. Excuse any other blips I didn't catch 🤷♀️
@prpl11butterfly If your employer doesn't have a policy explicitly stating that you must inform them, I wouldn't worry too much about it. But I would also think about whether or not it may pose an issue at a later point at a different employer. I think nowadays, tattoos are more widely accepted and less taboo, though.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@prpl11butterfly Then my only other hesitation would be regarding how far up you want to go at your company. A tattoo at a VP level might be perceived differently, for example. But I honestly wouldn't think twice if I saw a wrist tattoo on a VP here, personally. Unless it was something offensive or alarming.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@prpl11butterfly My friend had a wrist tattoo and anytime she thinks it will be an issue, she wears a wide bracelet. No one even notices. It's pretty big too, but since it's on the underside of her wrist, I think it's easier to hide.
@shamrocandroll AHHHh so cute! I can't wait to see pictures once you get your pup!
@prpl11butterfly I would say go for it, especially if it can be covered by a watch or bracelet. I'm not sure what line of work you're in, but feel like tattoos are becoming more acceptable in the workplace (especially if they're small and tasteful like you said)
@prpl11butterfly I’d mention it but not really ask for permission unless it’s mandatory.
Personally, I have a tattoo on my wrist (a butterfly) that I got when I was almost 18 only because my parents told me I wasn’t allowed haha I sure showed them. Anyways, it has affected one job so far but it can definitely be hidden for sure! Btw I love the tattoo you want to get.
@shamrocandroll re: your comment in WTO and that cutest little floofy puppy, just don't let it sleep in your bed and you're good! lol. Getting a puppy of our own that we (I) can train from the get-go would be different. I still don't want one but your little furball won't be a Humpy Humphrey so you're safe! haha.
@kels0091 I'm so sorry you're finding yourself in that situation with your ex. The peace bond sounds like a good idea, and if it does escalate, a restraining order would be the logical next step. I know it's scary but the fear of retaliation is one of the biggest deterrents to women reporting incidents of abuse or criminal harassment like this. It's hard to trust in the justice system but at the same time, doing nothing and living in fear is still not a nice way to live. Not when you're supposed to be enjoying this time with your new boyfriend in your new house. Feeling like you need to sell your house and move out of the city because of this asshat is horrible. It should go on his record, and he needs to be put in his place. That being said, if you're uncomfortable and feel like that would only make it worse for you, your safety comes first. The mace is also smart, even if you never need it. Might make you feel better having it?
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
@kbrown2385 I haven't heard anyone share a negative experience with one yet, so I'm pretty confident in our choice.
*TW: LC
We lost our black lab/aussie mix of 13.5 years in October, and while he was the best dog when he was our "only child", he was not good with kids and I was constantly on edge with him around DS. He nipped at him a couple of times, and so this time around, a family friendly dog will 100% be my motivator. I love rescuing/adopting, but I just can't take the chances on another wild card rescue at this stage in our family life. I know nothing is a guarantee, but I want to at least bolster the odds in our favor.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@prpl11butterfly I have tattoos on both arms on the underside. Not quite close enough to my hand to be considered my wrist, but bigger and darker than the one you're thinking about getting (love, btw). I work in the government, and no one has ever said anything to me about them. I think it's so common nowadays that people don't bat an eye. Unless your company has a policy, I wouldn't think twice about it I'm excited for you!
I talked to emerald this morning and she got banned for the post in June “why our board is dead.” For fear of getting banned myself, I don’t want to repeat what was said, but it wasn’t warranting a ban IMO.
She has a new screen name and is in the 72 hour waiting period and wanted to let you know she isn’t ghosting and will be back ready to support you all.
I also got two warnings. One for my tumbleweed post and one for reporting a user. I guess you can’t report people now. They said with my request I disrupted the site systems. I’m convinced they are just after certain people at this point. So I guess don’t report people 🤷♀️
I wonder if its because I reported one user from the thread emerald got banned in and the taco lady here in TTGP yesterday? I’m still mad about taco chick...
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@ballofmeat - Thanks for the update. I think the BG have it out for you.
Have you ever thought about how weird that is. There's so guy (or girl) up in an office, just reading our posts and deciding which side to choose. How much of our lives do they know about and are there people they like and ones they don't?
That's so frustrating. I agree they have it out for you @ballofmeat!!! It is kind of crazy to think about the BG reading through everything. Like you would think that they understand who has been here and shown support - guess not!
@ballofmeat thank you for the update. I do also agree that sometimes I think TB gods seem to target you. I have more to say about that but I shall bite my tongue. Miss you! Hope all is well.
So I had the most random dream last night. I dreamt that I went to Texas to visit @nomangos23 and @littleredm (do you actually live in TX or did I make that up? ) and you had like 2' of snow and didn't know what to do with yourselves so this seasoned Canadian dug you out of your houses and we had tea and played with your puppies and it was lovely and not at all weird that I've never actually met either of you. LOL. Anyhooo! Dunno what that was all about but I feel like I have some kind of subconscious connection with nomangos now through our dreams.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Dx: MFI 10/19- First RE visit 2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles 7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN 9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal 11/20- Mock transfer/ERA 12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN 3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021 12/21- Baby girl born!
@kiki047 I love that dream and I'm reassured to know that other people have dreams about people on TB too. I have also had a @nomangos23 dream, and one with @marebear15 where I was congratulating her on her impressive HIO streak.
BTW, those that have followed my sweaters and blanket scarves saga, I bought a new sweater at Ross for $6 (score!) and I feel absolutely adorable in it.
Re: February Randoms
My ex bf who verbally and physically abused me for 3 years (we’ve been broken up just over a year) just got a job basically minutes away from the house my bf and I bought in December 2018.
When the ex found out I was moving back to town (I moved 30 mins away because he was so crazy and stalked me), he told a mutual friend ‘tell Kelsey I’m taking kick boxing classes and I’m training’
I took this as a dumb threat (why else would I care about anything to do with his life? And plus it’s second hand gosssip)
well my friends and dad want me to get a restraining order, my understanding is this would prohibit him from his job as it would be too close to where I live.
Do I want to go through with this and potentially anger him to the point of retaliation or do I just take my chances that he won’t do anything ?
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
TTC since 9/2018
10/19- First RE visit
2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles
7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN
9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal
11/20- Mock transfer/ERA
12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN
3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021
12/21- Baby girl born!
im going to look into a peace bond. My understanding is that he would still be able to keep his job but that he wouldn’t be allowed to contact me at all. My only fear is just that once we broke up he went right to stalking and harassing me and he’s already proven to be physically abusive. I just want to sell our house and move back out of town.
oh my goodness !!!!! So sweet!!!
Question. If you were planning to get a tattoo on your wrist, would you run it by your employer first? I mean, my bosses H works for us and he has several visable when wearing a Tshirt (all the time basically). But ya know, men are different then women in the workplace. They've never made a fuss about my butterfly on my shoulder when that's visible and while it would be visible waaaay more often, it's going to be feminine and tasteful. MH is just worried and making me paranoid.
Edited because words are hard with migranes. Excuse any other blips I didn't catch 🤷♀️
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
@prpl11butterfly I would say go for it, especially if it can be covered by a watch or bracelet. I'm not sure what line of work you're in, but feel like tattoos are becoming more acceptable in the workplace (especially if they're small and tasteful like you said)
@ruby696 mine would be on the underside as well but probably not close enough to my hand to be covered.
I'm looking to get something similar to this:
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Personally, I have a tattoo on my wrist (a butterfly) that I got when I was almost 18 only because my parents told me I wasn’t allowed haha I sure showed them. Anyways, it has affected one job so far but it can definitely be hidden for sure! Btw I love the tattoo you want to get.
@kels0091 I'm so sorry you're finding yourself in that situation with your ex. The peace bond sounds like a good idea, and if it does escalate, a restraining order would be the logical next step. I know it's scary but the fear of retaliation is one of the biggest deterrents to women reporting incidents of abuse or criminal harassment like this. It's hard to trust in the justice system but at the same time, doing nothing and living in fear is still not a nice way to live. Not when you're supposed to be enjoying this time with your new boyfriend in your new house. Feeling like you need to sell your house and move out of the city because of this asshat is horrible. It should go on his record, and he needs to be put in his place. That being said, if you're uncomfortable and feel like that would only make it worse for you, your safety comes first. The mace is also smart, even if you never need it. Might make you feel better having it?
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.
Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.
Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w
Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d.
May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN.
June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between.
Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal
Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic
Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex
Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP
Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN
Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin.
Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal.
June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.
July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN.
Sep '22: Taking a break
Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed.
Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23
*TW: LC
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
I talked to emerald this morning and she got banned for the post in June “why our board is dead.” For fear of getting banned myself, I don’t want to repeat what was said, but it wasn’t warranting a ban IMO.
She has a new screen name and is in the 72 hour waiting period and wanted to let you know she isn’t ghosting and will be back ready to support you all.
I also got two warnings. One for my tumbleweed post and one for reporting a user. I guess you can’t report people now. They said with my request I disrupted the site systems. I’m convinced they are just after certain people at this point. So I guess don’t report people 🤷♀️
I wonder if its because I reported one user from the thread emerald got banned in and the taco lady here in TTGP yesterday? I’m still mad about taco chick...
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Have you ever thought about how weird that is. There's so guy (or girl) up in an office, just reading our posts and deciding which side to choose. How much of our lives do they know about and are there people they like and ones they don't?
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
@ballofmeat Thanks for the update. It's always lovely to "see" you and I hope you're doing well.
So I had the most random dream last night. I dreamt that I went to Texas to visit @nomangos23 and @littleredm (do you actually live in TX or did I make that up? ) and you had like 2' of snow and didn't know what to do with yourselves so this seasoned Canadian dug you out of your houses and we had tea and played with your puppies and it was lovely and not at all weird that I've never actually met either of you. LOL. Anyhooo! Dunno what that was all about but I feel like I have some kind of subconscious connection with nomangos now through our dreams.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.
Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.
Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w
Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d.
May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN.
June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between.
Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal
Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic
Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex
Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP
Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN
Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin.
Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal.
June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.
July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN.
Sep '22: Taking a break
Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed.
Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23
@kiki047 TB puppy tea parties are what dreams are made of. See ya tonight?
TTC since 9/2018
10/19- First RE visit
2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles
7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN
9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal
11/20- Mock transfer/ERA
12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN
3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021
12/21- Baby girl born!
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020