Proposed change to weekly TTGP Grad Thread

jennifer_louise · January 2019

Hi all - we have a proposed change to the "requirements" for posting on the weekly TTGP Grad Thread. The current wording is:

If you are a contributing member with a BFP this week, please share your success with us here.

How do you know if you're a contributing member?

1. Ask your heart if you have contributed positively here.
2. Do these people know you? Will they be happy about your pregnancy?
3. Have you offered support to others or have you just blasted your own info out there?
4. Really, if you're a 1/1 or a 2/2, maybe just move on. Even if you have participated daily for one month and offered tons of support. Sometimes the silence is kindest. Those of us who lurk BMBs will see your intro and PM/comment/love tit.
5. Again, take a moment and step away from your excitement and ask your heart if posting would be potentially hurtful.

Proposed change to emphasize that support matters more than how many cycles (the change is italicized):

If you are a contributing member with a BFP this week, please share your success with us here.

How do you know if you're a contributing member?

1. Ask your heart if you have contributed positively here.
2. Do these people know you? Will they be happy about your pregnancy?
3. Have you offered support to others or have you just blasted your own info out there?
4. We ask that you only post here if you have been participating meaningfully here for at least three months. Sometimes the silence is kindest. Those of us who lurk BMBs will see your intro and PM/comment/love tit.
5. Again, take a moment and step away from your excitement and ask your heart if posting would be potentially hurtful.

jennifer_louise · January 2019

Bumping this up. I think we'll leave this poll up for one more week before implementing the change!

b_1029 · February 2019

Did we ever implement this? Just wondering

prpl11butterfly · February 2019

@b_1029 I beleive the main post does show the update.....

inthewoods23 · February 2019

@b_1029 I just checked and it is!

b_1029 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly I went back and did see it! Reading is hard

prpl11butterfly · February 2019

Mmmmhmmmm........ I'm so over the day and that didnt help.

inthewoods23 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly *hugs*

b_1029 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly PREACH, right there with you. Hugs to you

prpl11butterfly · February 2019

@b_1029 thank you for the gentile redirect. I just don't have it in me to day.

And thank you & @inthewoods23

marebear15 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly - Hugs girl! I'm so over this week, this month. Just UGH.

themadcamel · February 2019

*dirty and ashamed lurker*

I didn't realize she had only been around for a month. Apologies and

to you all.

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly ugh feeling the same. Hugs to you ❤️

thatcma · February 2019

*lurker*

would it come off too offensive to bold that sentence? I personally would not be bothered but this isn't my first rodeo on this board so I know rules

lulu1180 · February 2019

Unfortunately no matter what wording you put in the grad thread, you will always have people posting there that shouldn’t. Not everyone reads the entire OP before posting their BFP. Those that move quietly on to a BMB would do so regardless of the wording because they have gotten a good feel for the way the board works

marebear15 · February 2019

I was thinking the same thing as @thatcma . I really had to read thoroughly to see our updated rule. Maybe bold the sentence, and underline three?

thatcma · February 2019

@lulu1180 Agreed, however when I think about big paragraphs that I read if something is bold or underlined I tend to read that because it stands out.

However I am just a dirty lurker so my opinion doesn't exactly count here.

brookert615 · February 2019

I changed the most recent one so whoever copies it over for the next week will see that it's bolded.

lulu1180 · February 2019

@thatcma I've been part of this board for about 2 1/2 years at this point and I've seen people who were only lurkers post in the grad thread. Trust me when I say that it doesn't matter what wording you use or how you attempt to bring attention to a specific point, people will still post there that really shouldn't. And this has nothing to do with you being a dirty lurker, anyone's opinion is welcome. I'm just offering insight based on what I've seen during the time that I've been on this board. People will simply copy and paste the form to post their stuff without even paying any attention to what is above it. Unfortunately, not everyone is like you and I who read every single rule and are stressing about everything we post for way longer than we really should.

marebear15 · February 2019

@lulu1180 - You are right. We will always get lurkers and newcomers that post on the grad thread. But even if just one of those skims over the top paragraph and sees the bolded words and decides not to post, isn't that worth it? It might just save one of us heartache on a bad day.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

Relative newbie here to say I'm in favor of bolding it, underlining it, whatever makes it stand out, even if it only makes one person think twice about posting. Too many ladies here have been through too much and minimizing the hurt to any degree is worth it, to me.

jennifer_louise · February 2019

Agree @shamrocandroll @brookert615. Might as well make it as obvious as we can - that way our snarkiness is well justified when people don't read.

b_1029 · February 2019

Trying to restrain myself from reacting to the slight snark in the intro thread. I know it’s just because I’m having a horrible TTC day.
ETA it’s probably not even snark 🤷🏼‍♀️ Just being a bitter Betty over here

prpl11butterfly · February 2019

🤔🤔 I see no snark....

holly321 · February 2019

@b_1029 I don’t think you are being bitter, I think it is snark too.

eta the more I think about it, it’s definitely snark, why else bring it up?

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@b_1029 I caught a little snark from it too.

marbellie · February 2019

*lurking* I think it would make sense to list in the line up of questions something similar to what's in the TTGP Grad Check In about how many months you've been active in TTGP (and state 3 months min.) there?

Maybe putting it in the questions list itself will save all sides embarrassment?

lulu1180 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly I didn’t see any snark either...🤷‍♀️

creamcheeseplease · February 2019

Oct intro thread I think.. not ours.. for the snark (and I agree it is a little snarky).

I like @marbellie suggestion actually. Perhaps putting it in the actual question form that people have to copy and paste would work better.

ruby696 · February 2019

Ah.... @creamcheeseplease I see it now. Thx.👍

lulu1180 · February 2019

I see it now...definitely snark. If I could
figure out how to call her out nicely I would say something but I don’t want to get my second warning in such a short time.

prpl11butterfly · February 2019

Ah yes.... As I am a more stable human today, I took the bullet. Though I'm sure it will be taken offensively 🤷‍♀️

lulu1180 · February 2019

@prpl11butterfly Very eloquently said! Personally I don’t see how that can be take offensively but like you I’m sure it still will be

marebear15 · February 2019

I like @marbellie 's suggestion of adding a question about how long you've been active on TTGP and say "(3 month minimum)" in the question. Anyone else's thoughts?

shamrocandroll · February 2019

That moment of panic when you hope what you posted wasn't misinterpreted as snark before you realize it was in reference to another thread. *phew*

I like the proposal of adding it into the question as well.

*Edited because TB ate half my post.

jennifer_louise · February 2019

That sounds good to me too. Do we need another poll?

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@jennifer_louise I kind of think this one pretty much covers it... but I guess if you wanted to be safe, you could do another one.

b_1029 · February 2019

I just made the grad thread for this week, let me know if I should add that line in

marebear15 · February 2019

@b_1029 - Yes please!
Maybe change the 2nd question to "TTC" instead of "TTGP" and then it can be the 3rd question: "How long have you been an active participant of this TTGP board (minimum 3 months)?"

Edited wording.

b_1029 · February 2019

@marebear15 done!

jennifer_louise · February 2019

Thanks ladies! @marebear15 @b_1029, I hope this will save us all some heartache.

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