PGAL check in w/o 2/4

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

how is everyone doing this week?

cmbt2 · February 2019

I’m trying to distract myself—I keep mentally spiraling on getting bad news this coming Thursday despite my blood work showing otherwise 😪

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

@cmbt2 💜💜💜 I’ll be sending you so many good thoughts this week. Early pregnancy is such a bizarre dichotomy of just wanting that first appointment to arrive so badly but dreading it at the same time.

cmbt2 · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo thanks! These first few months really are such a mind whirl. Part of me really hates all the appointments and scans- I get so many because of my medical history that it’s almost like they’re just looking for the other shoe to drop on me, you know? It’s no good to PgAL brain sometimes

zaraanity · February 2019

Mm, sending you love @cmbt2! I get that

I’m doing pretty good! Optimistic, feeling that cautious excitement here and there.. starting to slowly plan a few future things and start to have those discussions with DH. Going to call to get on the midwife registry later this week I think! Fingers crossed

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

I went grocery shopping and right after I loaded my food into my car I had to go back into the store to check for blood. Just regular discharge, but the sensation freaked me the eff out. I had two losses and never bled with either one and I actually did have bleeding with my rainbow baby so I know that bleeding or not doesn’t really have any obvious meaning for me, but it still got me a little worked up. Feeling better now, just a little frustrated at myself than anxious.

galentine · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo, I'm sorry for the grocery store freak out. Hugs!

@zaraanity, I'm glad you are feeling optimistic!

Hope it's okay if I jump in here. I had a very early loss last fall. I didn't post in this thread last week, because honestly, last week my PGAL-brain was totally under control. I felt optimistic and hopeful and confident. All of the sudden today, I just..... don't. Today I feel anxious and worried and nervous. The symptoms I was feeling last week are completely gone, and while I logically know this is totally normal, I am very anxious about the sudden switch and worried about what it could mean.

PGAL is a definite roller coaster of emotions.

c.gardner37 · February 2019

Love to see how positive we’re all trying to be! 10 more days til my first scan so my anxiety is reving up. Trying to remind myself to be thankful everyday. Today I’m thankful for my Roomba 😉
@cmbt2 I end up having ultrasounds at all my appointments. I carry really high and they can never find a heartbeat. Combine that with my history and I’m right there with you. Talk about a roller coaster!
@ceclarlinetlo I’ve never bled or miscarried naturally and I still get nervous if I think I feel something. I’m doing progesterone suppositories (just so my dr can feel like he’s doing something) and it’s a mess 😂 I’ll be happy when I can switch to the shots at 12 weeks.
@galentine I think what you’re feeling is totally normal! It’s almost like once it sets in that initial burst of optimism and hope gets shook a little.
Sending everyone love and positivity! 💕

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/45/gcektwith5a4.jpeg

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

@galentine I am sorry for your loss! Its so frustrating that in early pregnancy there isn’t one single sign or symptom that is “fullproof” to give us peace in the wait. I hate it so much that all we can do is wait and see. We’ll get through the coming days together. Right now we are pregnant until proven otherwise 💜

cmbt2 · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo ugh! The discharge gushes are such a @!&*%> i’m sorry ❤️

cdnrunning · February 2019

Thanks c.gardner37 I needed that this morning!

Waiting for that first scan is pure torture. I wish I was more symptomatic, especially nauseated because that's been shown to be a good predictor of a viable pregnancy (at least according to the study I read). So in the meantime, I'll enjoy the tingly boob sensation

@ceclarlinetlo You're not lone in the panty checking department. I'm quite certain I check 100% of the time because I'm just waiting to start spotting (TW* I spotted in both pregnancies, one ended in MC).

emily1052 · February 2019

I have a headache today, i don't usually get headaches and so I immediately think the worst. I'm sure it's just the change in weather. I bought and started a pregnancy journal this weekend. So that's extremely optimistic of me!

@c.gardner37 i love that you are thankful for your Roomba

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

@c.gardner37 I also love that you are thankful for your roomba! Our roomba definitely helps my husband and I get along better because we disagree on how often we should sweep up cat hair. He hates it and wants it swept everyday, but I hate sweeping it so I don’t want to do it. I am of the mind that its literally never ending and thus futile and so its only worth it if someone is coming over in the next hour lol.

I am thankful for the new fabric I bought today. I am going to finally use the pattern I bought myself on Mother’s day to make an onbuhimo style baby carrier.

c.gardner37 · February 2019

@emily1052 @ceclarlinetlo I freaking love it! I get really bad pelvis pain when I’m pregnant and vacuuming is next to impossible. With 2 kids, 2 dogs, my husband and having a big yard on a lake I need to do the floors daily. Problem solved!
Also @ceclarlinetlo oooh I want one!

cmbt2 · February 2019

Roombas are amazing. Totally agree with you all there!

soralette · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo Omg, those discharge gushes. I'm on progesterone suppositories, so my rational brain KNOWS it's almost 100% gonna be that, but anxiety brain doesn't know how to chill tf out.

emily1052 · February 2019

I read about all of your CM stories yesterday and realized that I haven’t even thought about CM since I got the BFP. The reason I haven’t thought of it is because I have none

. I mean less than normal, ever. So last night I consulted “Dr. Google” and it’s either completely normal or it’s a bad sign. *Sigh*
Have any of you ladies ever experienced no CM during past early pregnancies?

cmbt2 · February 2019

@emily1052 I didn’t have anything outside of normal with the boys 🤷🏼‍♀️

soralette · February 2019

@emily1052 -- Dr Google is not a real doctor; do not let him touch you! Having no CM to speak of is normal; so is having abundant CM. When in doubt, definitely send your actual doc or OB a message.

They can reassure you best of all!

cuduebor · February 2019

Hi everyone! Hope it's ok I'm jumping on here a bit late. Got a really faint line on Thursday and progressively darker through the weekend. Didn't want to believe it until the line was super strong, and it was yesterday morning, so here I am! Mc'd early January and started trying immediately after my hCG levels dropped to zero, so I'm still feeling like it's too good to be true that this all happened so fast.

Went for a blood draw this morning. Fingers crossed for some good results tomorrow and an increase in my hCG levels on Thursday. EDD is 10/14, but I expect that to change after my first scan. Really glad I hopped on - everyone's optimism is infectious and it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one running to the bathroom to check my panty liner!

@emily1052 you've inspired me to go ahead and start the pregnancy journal I've been too scared to start! Seriously toyed with the idea of using a pencil just in case, but I'm committing and going with the pen!

emily1052 · February 2019

@cuduebor I hope those numbers triple:)

c.gardner37 · February 2019

@emily1052 In most of my pregnancies I’ve had less. Totally normal!
@cuduebor fill it out in pen! 🙂 Memories are sweet no matter the outcome. 💕

melanier26 · February 2019

Hi ladies. I had a mmc in Nov 2017 and just got my BFP on Monday! Yesterday I was feeling positive and confident...and I quickly came down off that high 😕 I had a blood draw yesterday and didn’t hear back so I’m going to call tomorrow. Will be doing another draw in the morning too, so please cross your fingers for doubled numbers for me!

I’m laying in bed and getting super anxious trying to fall asleep. We planned on telling my parents on Thursday that I’m pregnant. Long story short my mom was kind of upset that my in laws knew about my previous two pregnancies before her 🙄 We have a great relationship and even though I think it’s silly, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I am thinking I should hold off telling her until my US on Monday...but my in-laws are watching our son for us that day so it would be awkward to not tell them about it right after the appointment, but then if I did we would be telling them first, again. Advice?

christis8 · February 2019

Hello! I just introduced myself on the intro thread, and was so grateful to see this thread.

I am also team check very wipe and still haven’t let myself get completely excited because I’m so paranoid. RE is happy about hcg levels and first transvag u/s is next Friday.

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

@melanier26 - I know this is easier said than done, but I don’t think you have to tell anyone anything before you are ready. I am in a similar but reversed position. My MIL has been staying with us for a week and I haven’t told her a thing, but my mom knows. I have been seeing a therapist since August and one of the new skills I have learned is how to have boundaries with people, and this is a situation that falls under that for me. I have learned there is a difference in being considerate of someone’s feelings and feeling responsible for someone’s feelings. Its natural for your mom to feel that way, but at the end of the day its your choice as to when and how to share with who. If that upsets her (and I don’t say this snarkily) then its her problem to work through, because this situation isn’t about her, and its not being done to purposely upset her. You have considered her feelings and thats all you have to do. The same goes for telling his parents right after the appointment really. If you are only doing it to avoid it being awkward, I am not sure thats really the right reason to tell them.

TL;DR tell people when it makes you happy to tell them, not to avoid hurt feelings or awkwardness. 💜

c.gardner37 · February 2019

Oh my goodness! These progesterone supppositories are going to be the death of me. TMI alert. I took these for the 1st 12 weeks of my last pregnancy and started them again the day I got my BFP. I do them at night because whatever my body doesn’t absorb leaks out and taking them at night seems to reduce it 😳 They’ve always been a yellow colored pill. Well, I started a new bottle last night and I’m not sure why but they’ve changed the pills to red. It scared the crap out of me at 5 this morning. I thought I was bleeding! It took me a good couple minutes to wake up enough to figure out it was just the pills. They’re used by women who are at risk for miscarriage. Why would they change them to the color of blood?!? 😡

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

What a horrific oversight on the drug companies part! I am sorry you had a scare this morning. 💜

cmbt2 · February 2019

@c.gardner37 mine are red, too! It really freaked me out the first time. Like, why???

Mine are not taken orally, so while I know *now* that seeing the red/orange tinged CM is normal, it freaks me daily for a few seconds

c.gardner37 · February 2019

@cmbt2 Mine are also not taken orally. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it last night. I’m just used to seeing yellow/white so the red was a shock.
@ceclarlinetlo I know, right? You’d think someone at the drug company would’ve been like, this may be a bad idea.
Never a dull moment with PGAL!

soralette · February 2019

@c.gardner37 Ugh, those red ones are just cruel! If you switch pharmacies, you might be able to get a different generic -- some of 'em are blue, so you'll feel like you're in one of those ads for menstrual pads, lol, but at least it won't be that awful red.

The RE has me on Crinone, which is a white cream... so no panic on the pantiliner front, but it's stupidly expensive ($1800/mo!) and I'm currently arguing with my insurance about how they really ought to be classifying it as prenatal care and not infertility...

emily1052 · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo you’re response (and the majority of advice you give) is so soothing and reassuring. Thank you!

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

emily1052 said:

@ceclarlinetlo you’re response (and the majority of advice you give) is so soothing and reassuring. Thank you!

😊 that’s very kind of you to say! You are very welcome 💜

c.gardner37 · February 2019

@soralette holy crap! You’d think insurance would want us to have everything we could possibly need so they could avoid more expensive charges later on. It’s crazy!

melanier26 · February 2019

Though my progesterone levels are normal, my doc is putting me on a supplement just because of my past history. And I got the pink suppositories 😩 Just what my anxiety needs...

soralette · February 2019

@c.gardner37 IKR?? It's so dumb. I finally heard back today, though, and they've decided to agree to our appeal and they WILL pay for it (at the regular deductible, at least), as long as I mail-order through their preferred pharmacy. WOOO!!! I'm happy to do whatever I have to do to get the next four weeks covered, haha! I'm super relieved.

How long does your doc want you to stay on the progesterone??

c.gardner37 · February 2019

@soralette that’s awesome! My nurse fought the insurance company last time for me to get the progesterone injections approved to start at 12 weeks. I had to use their preferred pharmacy too. It actually ended up being easier for me as they just mailed everything to my house. The dr has me doing the suppositories until 12 weeks and then I switch to weekly injections until I deliver.

soralette · February 2019

@c.gardner37 That makes sense! I hope they're a lot easier on you this time.

I'm spotting a lot today; rusty brown, enough to fill a pantiliner. I've put an email in to the RE's office, but I am physically sick with anxiety rn.

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

@soralette I am rooting so hard for you right now. I hope there is a simple explanantion and your bean is fine. I had brown spotting and bright red blood on different days with with DS so it is still possible for things to be OK, but I know that doesn’t really offer you much in the moment until you know whats going on. Please keep us updated!

galentine · February 2019

@soralette, I'm so sorry for your spotting scare. Sending lots of vibes that everything is okay, and that you get some good answers from the RE soon to help the anxiety go away. ❤❤

cdnrunning · February 2019

@soralette - I also had the same situation as @ceclarlinetlo. I bled so heavily at one point I took myself to the ER. Everything turned out fine and my OB said it was likely an SCH. I know that can't possibly ease your anxiety under the circumstances, but often times it's completely normal. We're all here for you.

soralette · February 2019

@ceclarlinetlo @galentine @cdnrunning Thank you all.

I've not had spotting even with my losses before, so this is super uncharted territory for me. I walked about four blocks and went to Target for perhaps half an hour yesterday, so maybe that's what did it.

But that's not exactly a ton of activity.

Thank you all for your understanding and empathy.

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