Question for Second time moms ..

tmcutter · February 2019

So.... this might be a dumb and too early question BUT..... I was planning to go Hawaii trip for work in Nov . I will have to deliver via c section around the 20th of sept. Is it a crazy idea to take a 6 week old to Hawaii ???

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

You might get more responses if you post this in the big question thread. People on Tb usually feel very strongly about board organization.

To answer your question I would say taking a 6 week old to Hawaii is unideal to say the least, but if you have no other choice you could make it work.

cmbt2 · February 2019

Yes, it’s crazy.

The 6w mark is the worst. The literal worst. Screaming nonstop. Sleep doesn’t happen. You have the first wonder week plus peak fussiness and a growth spurt hitting all at once.

It is also within flu season, and that is a chance I would not take. Baby cannot have a flu shot until 6 months and planes are giant disease tubes at that time of year.

So, no. No way I would even consider going.

cmbt2 · February 2019

also, with a c section, you’re out of work for 8 weeks. Would not be doing anything work related until I was being paid to go back

cmbt2 · February 2019

ceclarlinetlo said:

You might get more responses if you post this in the big question thread. People on Tb usually feel very strongly about board organization.

To answer your question I would say taking a 6 week old to Hawaii is unideal to say the least, but if you have no other choice you could make it work.

And you beat me to the board organization 😂 I was gonna say this belongs in the big question thread

daisieblue · February 2019

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂

ceclarlinetlo · February 2019

daisieblue said:

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂

I hate that you were scared away, but I agree that TB can get pretty intense. I was very active in J17 and before that I was on the miscarriage and TCAL boards. My general experience is that there are two major “rules” to TB culture. The first is the phrase “Give support to get support.” Active members of TB strive to really make it a supportive community and pour a lot of emotional energy into supporting one another so “drive by” posting or “treating the board like google” are frowned upon. The second is reading the “read me first” thread that is pinned At the top of each board. Different boards have different “rules” that are generally meant to protect people who are either struggling to get or stay pregnant, and reading the pinned post gives a good overview of what is considered kosher behavior so to speak. My experience is that all online communities have a culture and thats TB in a nutshell.

Edit:typos

cmbt2 · February 2019

daisieblue said:

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂

It’s been this was for at least the last 6 years 🤷🏼‍♀️ It keeps the boards from getting clogged with random questions and using them as your google. It also makes it so we can see the important threads without needing to move to another page.

It’s especially useful as we move further along and get to the first tri screeninfs, A/S, etc, and establishing board organization early is the key.

Other boards I’m on operate the same way, so it’s not just here

soralette · February 2019

daisieblue said:

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂

My first BMB was Feb 2012, before the organization movement really took hold. It was a LOT harder to find anything, and the same questions kept getting asked over and over (and over and over) again, and it was a generally frustrating experience. I dealt, but it's a lot easier to keep track of what's going on (and, e.g, see if someone else has already asked the same question you have!) with the organization system that's going on nowadays!

Anyway, I flew internationally with my firstborn at 3mos old, and that was pushing it. At 3mos, we were just barely starting to get our feet under us and figure out things like how to handle nighttime wakeups. At 6wks, I was still a zombie -- I definitely would not have been able to enjoy a Hawaiian vacation, let alone work trip. (Not to mention, the amount of STUFF you will find yourself suddenly unable to do without because it worked to get the baby to go to sleep once, so you have to keep it in your arsenal at all times from then on...)

jd614 · February 2019

The board organization is a little much to me. I like that it saves from 400 repeated questions because people won't search, but I also find that it deters people, especially those who are new, from really feeling comfortable asking questions or posting etc. It comes off as trying to intimidate people to be honest. This is my 3rd go round so I personally don't care because I know what to expect at this point but I can see where it turns people off.

TO answer the question I echo what others said. 6 weeks is early, especially for you coming off of a c section. What if there are complications etc. I flew internationally with my 1st son at 10 weeks and it was actually great. But that extra 1 month made a big difference.

mamakculb · February 2019

I’m a little back and forth on the answer honestly. My biggest hesitation is that your baby won’t be immunized at all by then and you’d be traveling by airplane. That really opens up the exposure to your baby for illness.

On the the other hand, I find young babies super easy to travel with. I am also a babywearer and I EBF, so for me it’s easy to wrap an itty baby and nurse on the go. Then they can nap on you and you can still enjoy your trip.

We took our 3rd baby with us to Disney World when he was just shy of 3 months old and had a wonderful time. But I do worry about vaccines and illness for a 6 week old.

elle-0409 · February 2019

Like previous posters said, we discourage one-off posts like this because they clutter the board, make pertinent threads hard to find, and show that you didn't read the "***READ FIRST*** Board Organization" post pinned at the top of the page. Plus, you will probably get a lot of side-eye GIFs as a response.

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/26BkO5fkr0Kh7RhHG/giphy.gif

The Bump is a remarkable place full of warm, supportive women. Please take a few minutes to lurk and get to know the energy of the room before treating us like Dr. Google and then disappearing into the night.

suzycupcake · February 2019

ceclarlinetlo said:

daisieblue said:

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂
I hate that you were scared away, but I agree that TB can get pretty intense. I was very active in J17 and before that I was on the miscarriage and TCAL boards. My general experience is that there are two major “rules” to TB culture. The first is the phrase “Give support to get support.” Active members of TB strive to really make it a supportive community and pour a lot of emotional energy into supporting one another so “drive by” posting or “treating the board like google” are frowned upon. The second is reading the “read me first” thread that is pinned At the top of each board. Different boards have different “rules” that are generally meant to protect people who are either struggling to get or stay pregnant, and reading the pinned post gives a good overview of what is considered kosher behavior so to speak. My experience is that all online communities have a culture and thats TB in a nutshell.

Edit:typos

*dirty lurker here*

Snaps816 · February 2019

I think there are two things to consider when you think about a trip with a baby. First is whether this is logistically doable/manageable, and Second is, will it be fun/worth the effort if you go?

Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I'm thinking the answer to both of these is no. The process of getting there will be extremely tough between the needs of a newborn, your body still recovering, and all of the baby gear you'll have to haul there. I'm not sure where you live, but flights to Hawaii from most places are long! Many include a layover. Then when you get there, you'll be all the work you're doing at home but with fewer resources. How will you wash bottles and pump parts? Can you get to a pediatrician easily if your child has any issues? You'd probably have to stay out of the water and your baby would have to stay out of the sun. Just things to consider. I'm sure you'd catch some nice moments on the beach, but there'd be a lot of struggle going on, too.

6 weeks is about the time you start to come out of the newborn haze, but you'll probably still feel pretty tethered to home. It's is a wonderful time to be home "nesting," or maybe take a short road trip for a little getaway.

wintersong · February 2019

daisieblue said:

Can I ask why this is? STM and was definitely scared away from The Bump last time due to this. I guess I just didn't understand it and somehow felt too old to figure it out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe just asking this should go in the big question thread 😂

I think because when you get birth month boards with over a hundred people on them, when people post individual questions it pushes other, sometimes very serious questions like what to do in a scary situation, onto the next page of threads.

As for the op, I would avoid it if possible. Planes have germs, 6 week olds are super needy. If its for a vacation you won't be able to vacation much in the way you are used to. If its for an important obligation you could probably make it work with a LOT of planning.

wintersong · February 2019

As a general idea, I hope that this board can come to a place where we are kind when people don't follow the organization rules and helpful in directing them how to do so. Just like above its totally possible to say, "Hey, this is a great thought for the randoms thread!" instead of an immediate onslaught of eye roll gifs. I think that's the key to not scaring people away but still keeping an organized board.

Repeated posts like that and I expect people to be less patient, haha. (Sorry to hijack the original question.)

ETA: I realize I've been on this board a whole two days, lol, but its something I thought about a LOT in my first board and seemed to work well on my second.

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