October 2019 Moms

Mental Wellness thread

yes, I know it’s early on, but this is such an important thing. Prenatal anxiety and depression are a thing, and not all providers will screen for it. 

Take the advice of someone who didn’t ask for help when she needed it.

so, let’s talk and keep this thread going to check in on one another. 
BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
~~~  ~~~  ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
~~~  ~~~  ~~~
High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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Re: Mental Wellness thread

  • I’m starting this because my prenatal depression with DS1 started in early second tri, and I didn’t know the signs. It was only when I got diagnosed with PPD at my 6w check up did I learn I also had undiagnosed prenatal depression. 

    My sign was rage. Everyone and everything made me angry. I was constantly angry at DH, my family, my ILs (but that still hasn’t changed. They suck), my workmates. My road rage was ridiculous. 

    I wasn’t sad. I didn’t feel depressed. I was just angry. It wasn’t until my OB diagnosed it that I knew that that wasn’t a normal way to feel. I just don’t want anyone else to feel the way I did and not seek help. 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • I am doing well right now, but I have chosen to stay on my meds. I have also been seeing a therapist weekly since this past summer and I have been exercising 3-4 times a week as well. PPD hit me hard, and getting myself healthy took nearly all 2 years of my son’s life. I am just not going to rock the boat. 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

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  • Thanks for this thread I’m sure I’ll be checking in regularly. I decided to stop taking my Lexapro while trying for this babe. 
  • Thanks for this thread I’m sure I’ll be checking in regularly. I decided to stop taking my Lexapro while trying for this babe. 
    I took lexapro and wellbutrin during my pregnancy with my son (I had only started taking it like 2 months before he was concieved when I was almost hospitalized). I just say that to let you know that if you start struggling and consider going back on but you are scared, that you can know that its possible to take it and the baby not have any ill effects. 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • I'm glad this thread has been started.  I suffer from anxiety and I only recently had my depression diagnosed, despite having a history with some lengthy lows.  I recently decided to go off meds, and I hope to be off for the duration of this pregnancy.  I do biweekly counseling, regular exercise, and a bi
  • I'm also glad this thread has been started. On a non-personal note, did anyone watch the commercial on Hulu about the "world record egg." They chose to use one of the biggest and most sought after branding opportunities to bring awareness to mental health and I thought that was awesome. 
  • @cmbt2 My anxiety/depression also comes through as rage. I was diagnosed after my youngest child was born 3 years ago. I was getting irrationally angry at the littlest things. I was taking Zoloft prior to getting pregnant but I’ve stopped taking it. So far I’ve been feeling ok but I’m trying to be aware of my emotions and if I’m not handling it well I am open to going back on medication. 
  • I have PPA after every pregnancy that’s lasts quite a long time. It often shows up as rage. I now have PTSD. I won’t take anything (not even a Tylenol) while pregnant so I’m trying to stay positive, using grounding techniques and I’m meditating which seems to be helping. Thank you for the safe space to discuss. 
  • I have PPA after every pregnancy that’s lasts quite a long time. It often shows up as rage. I now have PTSD. I won’t take anything (not even a Tylenol) while pregnant so I’m trying to stay positive, using grounding techniques and I’m meditating which seems to be helping. Thank you for the safe space to discuss. 
    Do you usually feel well enough to exercise while pregnant? Exercise is sooooo helpful in keeping me grounded. Its like all the energy I would spend on anxiety gets spent exercising instead. Even just a regularly occuring long walk is helpful for me. 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • @ceclarlinetlo it depends on the day. I have hyper mobility of my joints and fibromyalgia so I am limited as to what I can do and have to be careful. I do feel better on the days that I do at least something. 
  • @c.gardner37 I have a hypermobile syndrome (called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) and it makes exercising tricky. I dislocate pretty easily. Actually recovering right now with a shoulder injury- it’s hard not to hold my 18 mo old. Walking seems to be my best option but it’s been a cold winter. -2 degrees today. No way I was walking in it. What works best for you?
  • @cmbt2 Thank you for starting this thread!

    I had PPD with my son (now 18 mo). It was one of the worst experiences of my life before I got help. I’m much more aware this time around! 
  • @MrsPlatz I’m good with walking, yoga/Pilates (if I don’t push it) and also swimming. It’s funny how the smallest things can hurt me the worst, like doing planks. Luckily I’m in Florida so no -2 degree weather for me! Today was a high of 83. 😎
  • @c.gardner37 83??? I could go for that right about now! We have a warm therapy pool at our Rec center that I enjoy, but my DS has severe anaphylactic allergies so I can’t drop him off at the child care area. It’s all just tricky. 
  • How did you guys know when it was time to get help? Was there a defining moment or "symptoms" that you recognized? I hope it's ok that I'm asking. I had a difficult time PP, especially the first 4-6 months. I didn't seek any help, and in hindsight, wonder if I should have.
  • @cdnrunning I was open with a friend on my feelings, and she told me that I needed to bring it up with my doctor. I actually didn’t. instead, as he was inserting my IUD at my PP check up, he started asking the right questions about how I was feeling and found it that way
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • ceclarlinetloceclarlinetlo member
    edited February 2019
    So I had a legit mental break down 2 months before concieving DS. I would go 48-60 hours at a time without sleeping and then get maybe 2 hours before not sleeping again. I cried so much that I physically ran out tears. All I wanted to do was cry but I couldn’t. I lost 10 pounds. I constantly felt the level of anxiety to what I imagine someone who is seconds away from being mauled by a bear would feel. I was almost hospitalized then and I was diagnosed with pure O OCD (whaaaaat?? You mean I am not just incredibly high strung?? 🤯). Turns out compulsive behaviors can manifest as internalized thought patterns. Who knew? I started seeing a therapist and taking medicine and after a few months I felt amazing. I had been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was 15 and seriously had no idea what being normal felt like. A few months after DS came I tried to wean in a really dumb way. I ran out of lexapro and noticed I still felt OK so I never got anymore. After a month I decided to stop the wellbutrin too and I was fine again .... until I just wasn’t. I knew I was depressed again but thought I was managing OK until I went to my doctor for a completely different reason. When she walked in I bawling and she asked if I was having stomach pain (the reason I made the appointment). And when I said “no *giant sob* I shouldn’t have taking stopped my medicine.” And she was like “....oooooook let me ask you a few questions.” So we did the PHQ-9 and I was legit surprised when I scored in the severely depressed category. Was 100% expecting to score moderate. Depression is SO tricky, because sometimes its so encompassing that you can’t see how bad you are until you come out the other side. 

    Edit - typo
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • @cdnrunning it took me a couple pregnancies to realize I needed help. With the first 2 I kept thinking, I don’t feel sad. I must be fine. I finally saw an article about PPA and it just matched perfectly what I was having. I brought it up to my dr the next time I saw him. I think before I read that article I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone how hard of a time I was having. My dr had been asking all the right questions I just wasn’t answering them honestly, because I knew I wasn’t depressed and I didn’t want him to think I was. I wish more than anything I had been honest with him and honest with myself. It’s much easier to deal with things when you have a team of people on your side! 
  • @cmbt2 @ceclarlinetlo @c.gardner37 Thank you so much for sharing. No one really talks about this so I appreciate you ladies being open about your experiences. I think it would be be really hard to admit that I needed help, I'm sure I'm my own stumbling block.


  • @cmbt2 @ceclarlinetlo @c.gardner37 Thank you so much for sharing. No one really talks about this so I appreciate you ladies being open about your experiences. I think it would be be really hard to admit that I needed help, I'm sure I'm my own stumbling block.


    The first call to set an appointment is the hardest. 💜 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • @cmbt2 @ceclarlinetlo @c.gardner37 Thank you so much for sharing. No one really talks about this so I appreciate you ladies being open about your experiences. I think it would be be really hard to admit that I needed help, I'm sure I'm my own stumbling block.


    The first call to set an appointment is the hardest. 💜 
    I’m going to slightly change this and say the decision to make said call or speak up that maybe something isn’t right is the hardest part of this, followed by making the call
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • The more we share and speak up the more “normal” it becomes! We have to get rid of the stigma! 
  • @cdnrunning I think it can look different for everyone. But for me it was when a my physical therapist was asking good questions and I remember saying “this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done” and I’ve been through sh*t, so it didn’t add up. Why was everything seemingly awful when I knew in reality it wasn’t? But, unfortunately it took me until the thought of harming myself came into my mind that I finally made that first call. I called a few minutes after that first thought of self harm. I felt I was at my wits end BUT as soon as I got help things started heading in the right direction. In a matter of a few months I was totally back to myself. I guess I didn’t think any treatment would get me back to “normal” but I’m here today saying it’s possible! I’m being so much more careful and “in-tune” with it this pregnancy, because I’d want to catch it earlier than later! 
  • @mrsplatz thank you for sharing. I think women would be much better off if they all had a safe place like this to share their concerns and experiences with others.
  • My primary care office has you fill out a mental health questionnaire at every appointment. You fill it out while you wait for the doctor and then when the doctor comes in they go over it with you. I love that they do this because you don’t have to start the conversation yourself. 
  • @klee0225 I think that’s a brilliant idea!! I wish every office would do that.
  • @klee0225 I think that’s a brilliant idea!! I wish every office would do that.
  • @klee0225 I think that’s a brilliant idea!! I wish every office would do that.
  • @klee0225 I think that’s a brilliant idea!! I wish every office would do that.
  • Yikes. Sorry for that. Stupid mobile app.
  • greenbean-2greenbean-2 member
    edited February 2019
    Joining in. I had PPA with my first. It was tricky because I know parents worry about their kids but I had no idea what level of worry was normal/appropriate. 

    By the end of my maternity leave I was still in denial that I had a problem and I felt like things were getting better. But going back to work started a really bad spiral - I missed my baby so much, I was super stressed about pumping enough, and there were just so many tasks to do every day. 

    Anyway, the “I think I need help moment” was a Sunday night when I ended up crying on the kitchen floor because baby was asleep and I was tired but still had to make my lunch and prep bottles and take a shower. The idea of just doing that was too much for me to deal with. So I made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in postpartum issues. It helped so much. She’s awesome and I still check in with her once a month or so. 

    Anyway, that was a novel of really personal info (hi strangers!) but I hope it helps someone. I’m glad I have a therapist lined up this time around. 

    Edited to cut possible trigger. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • LMMamaLMMama member
    edited February 2019
    I have PPA and also just general anxiety. I've been taking a supplement for the past year that really helped. That with a mix of exercise and keeping my house clean (I know, but it helps me) has been beneficial. I've gone off the supplement since I found out I was pregnant because I don't know if it's safe. But, I'm hoping when I talk to my doctor I can go back on it. 
  • LMMama said:
    I have PPA and also just general anxiety. I've been taking a supplement for the past year that really helped. That with a mix of exercise and keeping my house clean (I know, but it helps me) has been beneficial. I've gone off the supplement since I found out I wasn't pregnant because I don't know if it's safe. But, I'm hoping when I talk to my doctor I can go back on it. 
    I was taking a supplement before getting pregnant as well (GABA). I have no idea if it was a placebo effect or if the effect was real and I didn’t really care because I did notice a difference in my ability to fall asleep. But I also quit taking it when we started TTC. There isn’t any research on the use of it in pregnant women out there so since I decided to stay on my wellbutrin I felt more comfortable stopping it.
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • Happy for this thread. I have been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma. I stopped seeing my therapist in November bc it was getting hard to get babysitting and I started working nights. I really do miss going and would like to start again soon. I have always suffered with anxiety and had very bad anxiety after my daughter was born that I never seeked help for at the time. I thought it was normal worry of motherhood but now looking back it was wayyyy out of the norm of reasonable worries. When she was a little over 3 years old I had a breakdown for lack of better word and was being flooded by past memories of my abuse and realized that she was the same age when the abuse started. Luckily I was already in therapy while this happened and worked through it. I feel like I go through seasons of wanting to air out all that happened and feel good about sharing my story but then I have times when I want to bury it all deep in the back of my mind and pretend it didn’t happen. I do feel that these things do need to be talked about and lessen the stigma of anxiety, abuse, PTSD, etc. 
  • I have been struggling a little today because I didn’t excercise much this week (because I am so tired 😭) and I can feel the effect on my general anxiety level. I will realize I am feeling anxious for no logical reason and then I get anxious about feeling anxious. “Is this the beginning of a bad patch? What if I keep being too tired to exercise? Will I get worse?” Nice vicious cycle. I let DS watch some youtube videos of random trains so I could spend some time working on a sewing project to distract myself from myself and I am feeling better than I was this morning. I usually have more energy in the afternoons right now so if the weather cooperates I will put DS in the stroller and take a walk during his lunch.
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • @ceclarlinetlo I’m sorry you’re having a rough day. I totally understand the anxiety about the anxiety. I’m glad you found a way to take some time for yourself!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I have had ppa since my son was born. I have never had anxiety before and it’s been horrible! I was on lexapro and got off when we started trying but it was awful. My
    ob told me to go on Zoloft so that’s what I’m on now and it’s been very helpful. During the transition my dr have me a quick fix for anxiety attacks. I forget what it was called, but I can’t take it when I’m pregnant. I took two when I didn’t know I was pregnant. My
    ob said she’s going to send me to a specialist to make sure it didn’t affect the babies brain development. She said she would have done that no matter what though with my past pregnancy going as it did. So now I’m even more anxious! She said keeping my anxiety at bay will be very important this pregnancy. Hoping my husband doesn’t travel a lot and my son stays healthy because that definitely makes my anxiety worse. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • I had PPA with my first that I never got totally under control but after a year and a half or so I’d say it was manageable. *TW loss* After my miscarriage in November ‘17 it got worse and I eventually found a therapist I liked. I stopped seeing her late last spring as it was under control.

    My anxiety (or maybe it’s depression?) is getting worse now. I’m a SAHM and have been totally exhausted and nauseous with this pregnancy. I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job with anything - I’m eating terribly, not giving my 3 year old enough attention, not doing much around the house, not cooking. I just feel like I suck right now. I ended up feeling so guilty after my last pregnancy that ended as a loss at 11 1/2 weeks because after the fact I felt like I didn’t enjoy the time I was pregnant. I’m trying my best to be thankful and enjoy every day but I feel like I’m just trying to survive.
  • @melanier26 It’s 100% ok to not enjoy every day of being pregnant. It’s ok to be in survival mode - your house and your 3 year old will be ok. Nausea and exhaustion are no fun for anyone, and not loving it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for the pregnancy. Be gentle with yourself. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @melanier26 go gentle on yourself. You don’t have to enjoy every moment of being pregnant, or really, enjoy it at all (I know I don’t). Just because you’re not loving it doesn’t mean you’re not thankful. You get to complain and hate things about this process and be lazy just like the rest of us. *hair pats*
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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