July 2019 Moms
foodislove
member
Working Moms Check-In (JANUARY)
foodislove
member
Working mommas, it's been awhile! Let's sort of recap:
What do you do?
Will you be working after baby comes?
How is work going with the pregnancy?
How is your work/life balance doing?
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
Questions or concerns?
What do you do?
Will you be working after baby comes?
How is work going with the pregnancy?
How is your work/life balance doing?
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
Questions or concerns?
Re: Working Moms Check-In (JANUARY)
I will be quitting as soon as my maternity leave is over. I took 15 months off with my first and plan to be off at least that long again.
Eh, I'm having a very hard time with my production rates. I feel terrible all the time. About half of my income is usually monthly incentives and those have been practically nonexistent the past few months. I'm trying to get my head back in the game, but it's stuck on feeling sick and looking at cute baby stuff lol.
I'm having a hard time between feeling awful and making myself suffer through work to make energy for my 2.5 year old. I usually put forth effort to make sure I do something that is meaningful to him after I pick him up from daycare every day. Lately all I've felt like doing is snuggling on the couch watching a show or movie. I can't wait to get my energy back.
Is anyone else planning on leaving after the baby and having a hard time staying until then? Every morning I wake up like, "Do I really need this job until July?" Lol
Will you be working after baby comes? planning to take about 6 months off, then going back to work around January 2020.
How is work going with the pregnancy? I haven't told my boss yet. But we have a decent Mat Leave policy (4 mo paid and up to 1 year unpaid) and this is my 4th time around.
How is your work/life balance doing? What balance?? Lol! We've been off balance since kid #2!!! I'm taking evening classes to get an additional degree. I feel like this needs to be put on hold for a while because I just don't have the energy right now.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? One challenge is the cost of daycare. We aren't in a high COL area but I just calculated that between 4 kids we will be spending a total of more than $240,000 over the course of 11 years. That number is mind boggling. We could've bought a second house with that money or put it away for retirement, college funds, etc. but instead it's all just going out the window. I want to convince hubs to consider a nanny but he's been pretty opposed to the idea of having someone in our house every day. A nanny would probably be less expensive plus super convenient because we wouldn't need to drag everyone out of the house every morning. And some even do light cleaning!! We'll see.
Questions or concerns? Question for moms with older kids: at what age did you let them go home from school unsupervised? What age could they watch younger siblings? My oldest is very mature but her little sisters are wild!! So I wonder if I can ever not be hiring out childcare.
I work for the local city police managing a divisional office.
Will you be working after baby comes?
After Mat leave (12-18 months), yes. But PT or FT I am not sure about.
How is work going with the pregnancy?
It's been going ok. I have a little bit of a commute in which I drive 10 mins into the city (we live rurally just outside) and then park my car and bus downtown. Its about a 45 min commute each way and is becoming exhausting. Especially in the dead of winter. I am praying a position at a closer station opens up that I can apply for in the next year. Work itself is going good tho.
How is your work/life balance doing?
I think I am managing it well. I reserve my weekends and after work for my DS and husband. I really cherish the quality time we have together and for the longest time felt so guilty and sad for working and taking my son to daycare. I have a feeling number two will just intensify those feelings- thus possibility of part time.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
My son seems to really enjoy daycare so I never worry about him. He is thriving and happy so I am very happy about that.
Questions or concerns?
Any other Canadians considering taking the 18 months instead of the 12?
Will you be working after baby comes? I'll take my 18 months of mat leave and return January 2021. I love my job and my students so leaving is hard for me.
How is work going with the pregnancy? OK. I've been super nauseous so it's tough to pretend to be fine all day when feeling like dirt but the kids are great so it hasn't been too bad.
How is your work/life balance doing? Good. I finish work before DD is finished school and I have a no work at home policy so once I pick DD up she gets all my attention until bed time.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? I put DD in a million after school activities because I just haven't been feeling well enough to do all the things I normally do with her. It's been great! I can sit and watch her doing all kinds of cool things without having to be the one running around with her. She's 5 on Friday so I think it helps that she is a little bit older and already fiercely independent. I've also made sure to have lots of play dates so she can have friends over to play with and pick up my slack.
Questions or concerns? Nope. All good here:)
My brother started leaving his oldest daughter in charge when she was 11 or 12 and their younger kids were 7 and 8. Here legally you can't leave a child home alone or as a babysitter until they are 11 or 12.
Director of Sales and marketing
Will you be working after baby comes?
yes for sure after my maternity leave
How is work going with the pregnancy?
Work is great! I work for a retirement community so the residents are super excited about the baby. Plus we have the full kitchen downstairs so I am a little spoiled right now
How is your work/life balance doing?
I think I am managing it well. I spend the weekends with my husband (When he isnt working or hunting) and we also have the week nights together. Just always so tired when I get off work that after we eat dinner its bed time pretty much.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
my biggest challenge has been my second trimester. My first one was no problem, the second one I get headaches when I wake up in the morning and terrible heartburn with everything.
Will you be working after baby comes? I’ll take the 12 weeks off, but I’ll be working after that. Gotta pay some bills!
How is work going with the pregnancy? Work is increasingly more difficult as I find I’m getting more winded when I work fast. So I just need to slow down, which is a tough thing in this business.
How is your work/life balance doing? It’s really tough. Right now it take me an hour one way to get to work. And I work 10 hour shifts. So I’m gone for at least 12 hours. I get home late and I feel like I don’t have time for DD before she goes to bed.
@mom2b77373Are you taking anything for the heartburn? I had to take Zantac through my whole pregnancy last time.
What do you do? Records officer for a public university
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes. High COL means I need to. I do get eight weeks of paid maternity leave now (which I'll need with c-sec recovery), but can't decide if I'll be doing the full 12 weeks.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Good. My boss is super supportive, my co-workers are excited because they all love M already so much. Preg brain is making some aspects harder and I think my employee is getting tad annoyed with me.
How is your work/life balance doing? Er... not great. Haven't had a date night with DH in forever, and he's currently furloughed and it's been so long it's super affecting him. I really wish we had family nearby who could help out but no go. Babysitters out here are expensive as well, ugh.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? Trying to negotiate for a pay raise and just did a last minute, 12 hr work day yesterday finishing up some paperwork they required for a pay raise proposal they threw at me with 12 hours notice. Hopefully I get it.
Questions or concerns? N/A
Will you be working after baby comes? I plan to drop to part-time. My boss told corporate about my plans and I think they have to consult their policies before they give me a yes or no answer. If they say yes, I'd have to see what that means for my benefits. I'd most likely have to go on DH's health insurance, but he keeps saying that his benefits aren't good, which I don't think is true. I think he's just afraid of more money coming out of his already-low salary.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Right now it's busy season (new product releases for the new year) and today I've been super unmotivated. I got through my "easy client" yesterday and now I'm working on the hard one.
How is your work/life balance doing? Pretty good. No change from the usual. My boss is very understanding about me having to occasionally come in late from doctors' appointments.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? My ideal post-baby scenario is me working three days a week and DH working four 10-hour shifts, so I'd be home with the baby for two days and he'd have the baby for one day. My mom and MIL would come over to cover the other two workdays--and my mom volunteered before I could ask her! But I still have to hear back from corporate about the possibility of part-time, and DH has been talking about a new job for years. His current work is 5 minutes from our house and he gets a ton of paid time off, but he is grossly underpaid and his work environment is not very good. He's also very resistant to change and has never had to truly job hunt in his life. (He got his current job when his old coworker's mom recommended him for it, and he got his college job after I pulled off a tab from a job posting flyer. The salty part of me wants to tell him how lucky he is for having the Job Fairy rescue him twice instead of actually putting in hard work to look for a new job.) Ultimately I would like to become a SAHM once we have two kids, but that's not gonna happen with his current salary. Plus, if he gets a better-paying job now, it can only help us further down the road. And there's not much I can do to help him get over himself.
Sigh. I didn't mean for that to be so long.
Questions or concerns? Has anyone else negotiated dropping to part-time?
Political consultant
Will you be working after baby comes?
Yes - after 4-6 months of maternity leave
How is work going with the pregnancy?
Overall it's been pretty good. Pregnancy brain makes it a little tough sometimes but I work from home so the first trimester was pretty manageable despite all of the nausea/exhaustion
How is your work/life balance doing?
I'm a FTM so I feel like it's great. I'm sure that's going to change once baby comes
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
My company is very small so I'm worried about what that will look like leading up to/after my maternity leave. Luckily we have really great benefits and policies so my job feels secure, but just worried about the logistics
Executive Assistant, work from home most days
Will you be working after baby comes?
Yes, my work provides 18wks leave and then I can take up to 12 more weeks of leave.. not sure what I plan on doing
How is work going with the pregnancy?
I told my boss last week, he was excited then immediately went into panic/prep mode and said I needed to figure out who was going to be my backup and call her the same day to let her know. He also asked me when I was going to stop working, I had to tell him I hadn't thought that far in advance! He has major OCD and so my pregnancy is going to send him into a tail spin for sure.
Other than that I feel like I'm just unmotivated to work, which is causing me to forget to schedule meetings right away. oops!
How is your work/life balance doing?
It's good because I can work from home, my husband is the one who works crazy hours, leaves at 5am and gets home around 6pm so we get a small window to hang out during the evenings and the weekends if he doesnt have to work OT.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
Challenge that I'll have to figure out is daycare, I can work from home so I can hang out with the baby but not sure how I can balance both. I have no clue where to start to look for finding help, even a few days a week. I work with my mom and she isn't retiring for a few more years or I'd use her as my daycare LOL.
Questions or concerns?
How close is everyone working up to their due date?
Will you be working after baby comes? I will. I teach part time so work either mornings or afternoons for four hours, so it is a great job. It gets me out of the house, but still provides a lot of flexibility.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Good. The only things that might get difficult is bathroom time and making sure I am eating/drinking enough.
How is your work/life balance doing? Fine.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? We are also trying to decide on childcare. Since I only work part-time, I do not want to pay full time rates for childcare. My husband owns his own business, so we are trying to decide if we want him to drop down to part time to help out when I am not home.
Questions or concerns? Nothing really.
Business Operations Management - Process Development (I document the rules/processes for how people do their jobs.)
Will you be working after the baby comes?
Yes. I absolutely love my job and my company and I can't forsee me not coming back right now. I've got such a good situation. But I'm really anxious about what the financials will look like. I don't make a ton of money each month, so if daycare is too much, we may have to consider me not working or changing lanes.
I'll be taking the standard 12 weeks. I get to use up my vacation time and then I get 60% pay after that. I'm really looking forward to that bonding time, but I also feel super guilty about it because my boss is going to have to roll out our largest project yet without me!
How is work going with the pregnancy?
Just fine. I work from home, so life has been a walk in the park for work. I finally told my boss last week and she was overjoyed and put all my anxieties to rest around my impending promotion, our HUGE project, and other concerns. I set my own hours, so the appointments are easy to schedule. No one is the wiser since they have seen me running to the bathroom.
How is your work/life balance doing?
I'm fixed 40 hourly. I have a hard stop when I hit that number. So it is pretty easy to not go over. And I work from home and set my own start and stop times.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
Pregnancy Brain is real. When I told my boss, she was like, "Everything makes sense now." She was referring to me being a little more scattered than she is used to me being and also calling in sick, which I never do! I'm highly organized, remember everything, super diligent worker, and well... the last three months I've been too tired to be organized, forgetful because of pregnancy brain, and also a little apathetic to some of our projects. I'm really hoping this second-trimester boost of energy myth is real and I'll feel motivated to really kick A for the next couple of months.
Questions or concerns?
@jennm0724 I plan to work until I go into labor. I work from home, so even if I get really bad like I need bed rest, I can still work. My boss worked until she went into labor, she was conducting a job interview one-on-one. The guy was a Paramedic and she started having contractions before the job interview. And the guy was like, "Um. I think you're in labor. Do you wanna cut this short?" She totally finished the interview and then headed home to meet her husband and then they went off to the hospital. Also, he got the job, in case you were wondering!
@msimi I'm in the exact same boat and I have no idea what we are going to do. I wish my mom lived close to us, but they moved to GA like 4 years ago, and I'm still mad about it. And my in-laws can barely take care of themselves, so that is off the table. There are several other ladies in the hood who are having babies right now or recently did, so I've got my fingers crossed for a nanny-share.
@foodislove Good luck on the pay raise! I'm dealing with a promotion proposal right now...
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes. My plan currently is to take only 6ish weeks off. Then DH and I have talked about doing week on/week off with LO for a few more weeks after that.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Motivation and baby brain are my biggest hurdles. I get a snapshot every day how I did with my billing, so that helps keep me on track.
How is your work/life balance doing? Fine. Balance is huge as an attorney and DH and I have both made home life a priority.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? My firm is small and not subject to FMLA. it also doesn't have any policies, so I'm left to negotiate my own leave. The only comparison I have was a former associate who took 6 weeks unpaid leave. She was pretty docile and is the kind of person who would just takes what she's given. I'm very much not that way.
Questions or concerns? None
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes, school starts 5 weeks after my scheduled C-Section. DH will probably be a SAHD because I make 2-3X as much as him and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to spend $ on daycare since 90% of his take home pay would go to daycare.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Not too bad, but my SPED meetings are killing me right now. Keeping up on the paperwork is so hard with pregnancy brain.
How is your work/life balance doing? Fine, I very rarely bring paperwork home to do. I refuse.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? Nothing spectacular right now. Doing testing with kiddos, love having some actual data showing I'm doing things that work.
Questions or concerns? Nope.
Project Leader in medical research
Will you be working after baby comes?
Yes, as lots of you other moms, I love my job. However, I’ll take a full 6 months off before going back (only did 3.5 months with DD and struggled). Here we get full pay for 10 weeks then I’ll have a good 5 of vacation to add on. After that we can take up to 2.5 years but with only a 500$ per month stipend, which is ok short term but would struggle long term!
How is work going with the pregnancy?
This week has been hard, on my way back from a 3 day trip, traveling again next Monday-Tuesday, following week wed-thurs, then mon-tue again before a full week in the US. It’s a bit too much travel, even if I wasn’t pregnant...
How is your work/life balance doing?
Depends on the day. I’m so tired at night that the time I usually enjoy with DH has become my sleeping time. Definitely need to get a baby sitter or something one of these days to spend some time when we are both awake together and in the same country
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
I really struggled with PPD with DD that made going back to work super hard, especially on my relationship with DH (tended to through myself too much into work because it was the area I felt I could control). Working hard this time to not get into the same situation but it’s already worrying me
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes - I will probably take 12 -14 weeks of FMLA +/- short term disability and vacation days before coming back.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Pretty well now. Both of my immediate supervisors are women and have known about my pregnancy since the very beginning (I pretty much have to tell immediately, so as to skip out on cases where I would expose the fetus to dangerous things...) and they're super supportive and helpful! I did struggle with my first trimester nausea, but luckily that's much improved. Now my biggest problem (which will only get worse...) is needing to pee frequently! I can't leave a patient unless another anesthesia provider is covering for me and that's not always readily available!
How is your work/life balance doing? Eh, not spectacular, but that's my fault. We get large bonuses for working overtime, which I'm doing while I still can. I feel like I mostly work and sleep
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? Also trying to figure out our childcare plans for when I go back... Does anyone have a nanny? That's likely the route we're going this fall, but I don't really know the best way to find one. An agency or word of mouth or...?
Questions or concerns?
yes. I’ll go back full time
work is good. I have a great boss and a flexible schedule
balance is is so much better since finishing my PhD last summer. With DD1 I worked full time and was in school full time. That was tough.
Successes: our company is growing and it’s awesome.
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes. Last time I planned to take 12 weeks and my boss bugged me weekly until I caved and went back after 8. This time around I’m taking the whole 12 and then going back to work full time.
How is work going with the pregnancy? I’m ragier this time around so I feel like I have no tolerance for people’s crap and get frustrated at managements lack of decisions.....make one and let’s all move on. I have procedures I need to put in place before going out on maternity leave!
How is your work/life balance doing? Hahahaha from the time I came back to work from my first its been 3 years of 11 and 12 hour days and getting online and answering calls on the weekends. I was selfishly hoping under this new boss who just had a baby recently that things would calm down or they’d have a little bit of mercy on me since I’m in a high risk pregnancy, but it’s not looking that way.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? Me and DH making our schedules work to do morning drop off and pickup before school and daycare closes.
Questions or concerns? Just nervous to leave the work place for an extended time, but excited at the same time. It’s kind of a weird feeling.
This time around, I plan to go the daycare route instead.
There are lots of great convenience aspects of a nanny, especially with 2 working parents. I think it was especially nice in the very young age (up until maybe 18 months) because the nanny would really respect what I wanted to do (only pumped milk, BLW...).
However, now that DD is in pre-school which is next to the day care and day care here is insanely inexpensive (sorry US moms...), I am going to try it out. I figure it also helps me financially justify a longer maternity leave.
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes! I really love my job.
How is work going with the pregnancy? It's hard. I had to go off of my ritalin, so ADHD combined with pregnancy brain makes everything take longer.
How is your work/life balance doing? My office really encourages work/life balance, so I am good.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? I am embarrassed that we had to apply for financial aid for day care for next school year. My husband and I each have a Master's degree and work in our field of study. Day care for two is going to 41k. We just can't afford it. Thankfully they go to a not-for-profit that has some financial aid.
Questions or concerns? I'm just terrified that we will be turned down for financial aid.
I’m a therapist. I’m considered self-employed in a contract position, so I don’t have any benefits and have to pay for my own health insurance.
Will you be working after baby comes?
Yes, definitely! I actually switched careers from teaching to therapy so that I could have flexibility once my husband and I decided to have kids. Even though I’ll be working, I can make the schedule work to fit what is best for our needs at any given time.
How is work going with the pregnancy?
First trimester was tough, with the whole talking for an hour at a time in therapy... Most of the time it’s pretty easy, but sometimes with kids you have to ask more questions and be on your A-game, which was more difficult. It’s finr now, besides having to pee after every appointment! 😂
How is your work/life balance doing?
Fine so far. I actually wish I was working more, while I still can. I’m actively advertising myself at work, and hoping to grow before baby comes.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
I only missed two days of work due to morning sickness!
Questions or concerns?
None at the moment
I am a systems engineer for the world's largest cyber security firm.
Will you be working after baby comes?
we are still deciding on this. My job has amazing benefits but I make less than my husband. I am leaning towards staying home.
How is work going with the pregnancy?
It is exhausting. The first trimester had me puking and wanting naps.
How is your work/life balance doing?
My company is a California based company, so work life balance is definitely important and in our company values. My boss lets me work from home when needed and has limited my travel. He knows I pick up my son from daycare, so he always says bye to me at 5pm.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
This week I was on Call for a client. My days were long and exhausting due to the time change. Sad thing is, I'm still not done!
Questions or concerns?
none right now
Will you be working after baby comes?
Yes, 8 weeks leave.
How is work going with the pregnancy?
ugh, catching up from the shit show of the last few months of being super sick. I made a lot of mistakes and forgot a lot of things.
How is your work/life balance doing?
Balance is ok. I recently took less hours for my other kids so I only work school hours and live close to work so I’m home 5 afternoon they get home from school. The bus stop is 2 houses away. If I need to work late I can because my older boy (11) watches the younger (7) and they are well behaved. When baby comes I’ll have one I middle school, day care is in my neighborhood near my entrance, already on the wait list. Driving the kids to boys scouts in different days has been hard on top of homework due to feeling sick and tired. But it’s not terrible. My House is a mess tho. Still need to put away Xmas stuff lmao
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?
My hubs will be leaving right after baby is born for a 6 month Germany deployment. I’m not worried about the extra work so much as catching up on my bills after with not pay on leave, catching up on sleep I expect won’t haopen. And the baby bonding between father/son. I do plan a trip during the middle of it for us to Germany but still.
Questions or concerns?
I hope whoever temps for me while I’m gone doesn’t do a better job and my boss like them better and decides to keep them instead of me.
I never take off work, I’m paranoid lol
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes, I am taking 12 weeks and then coming back. We get 4 weeks paid.
How is work going with the pregnancy? So far so good. I have definitely had some duh moments but that may be contributed to working in an already fast paced environment and during finals/start of the semester.
How is your work/life balance doing? Much better now that I am not as exhausted all the time. My boss and Dean are great and have been about the whole pregnancy and even offered for me to flex time once the baby is here after maternity leave.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? I'm also getting my Master's degree so I was able to finish the fall semester pretty well. Which was just surprising to me because I felt pretty awful during the last few weeks of class.
Questions or concerns? Has anyone not had the full year to qualify for FMLA? I started in August and am due at the end of July. I will hit twelve months, two-three weeks after the baby will be born. I've read online that if you hit it while on leave you have to get FMLA - but I am not certain that is correct.
Okay, shady company, many issues, but my advice is make sure you talk with HR not just your direct supervisor.
Nebraska has a bill pending requiring a certain amount of paid leave (12 weeks, I think) for maternity. I mentioned this to one of my bosses in normal conversation and he went off about how that's just unrealistic and a small business simply can't afford to pay a person when they're gone for so long.
Joan C. Williams from UC Hastings is a great resource for navigating WorkLife Law and gender in the workplace.
Check out one of her sites here:
https://biasinterrupters.org/
And this article:
https://hbr.org/2015/11/need-a-good-parental-leave-policy-here-it-is
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes, although I’m having difficulty deciding how long to take off. I’m in Canada so we get up to 18 months. I’m definitely not taking that though as I think I’d personally go crazy. I’m leaning towards 7-8 months. My work tops up 100% for 4 months plus I have 4 weeks vacation I’ll use. Government benefits pay the rest but it’s honestly less than 1/3 of my income which is a pretty massive hit for us, so I’m hesitating - we live in a very high cost of living city and my husband’s salary is less than 1/3 of mine. He will ultimately be the primary caregiver but right now it’s a question of how long do I want and I just don’t know. I’m also getting a lot of unsolicited opinions about how i *have* to take 12 months because they’re only this age once.
How is work going with the pregnancy? Pretty good. I’m having motivation issues more than anything, but I think that’s in large part because I’m coming off of the last 3-4 months where I worked obscene hours and there’s always a bit of burnout after that.
How is your work/life balance doing? Meh. It’s always a challenge in law. I have a lot of flexibility to do personal errands during the day whenever needed, but the work is always there and the billable hours have to be reached, so I definitely do end up working evenings and weekends.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about? My husband and I have very different views and styles when it come sto money (ie I budget, he doesn’t), so I’m a bit stressed about all of the upcoming expenses.
Will you be working after baby comes? Yes..taking 14-16weeks off (we get 12 weeks paid and I’ll have some PTO).
How is work going with the pregnancy? Stressful
How is your work/life balance doing? My job is flexible, so that’s good. We’ve been having challenges with our son (6) that has been adding to the stress.
Successes or challenges you wanna talk about?