**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.:
Status:
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most?
Re: TTCAL W/O 1/7
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MMC 11/16
Status: WTO, CD 13
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? It's going okay. Much better since the holidays ended and my cycle finally started back up.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just peeing on OPKs for now.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? I love when the leaves start to bud on the trees and everything is a super bright green color. It looks so fresh and new. Of course, that doesn't happen until mid May around here...
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 2 CP, 1 BO
Status: TWW (I am assuming around 5dpo)
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am a little sad that I ovulated instead of starting a period, I am grateful for getting back to normal, but I was looking forward to getting back to tracking and just being normal for a little while. I feel like I have perpetually been in the first tri for the last 6 months.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? yearl appt is next week, but nothing else.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? RUNNING IN SHORTS! Gah I hate pants so bad!
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 1 CP at 5 weeks
Status: benched and WFAF
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
This is a tough week. Today would have been our first prenatal appointment. We'd be having a scan and hearing the heartbeat. My first cycle after my loss is looking wonky which is not helping my nerves, either. I just want to move forward. What's going well is I've been knitting a lot and it's been very therapeutic. I am making a rainbow striped blanket for my future rainbow baby, and it's coming out very well.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Nope. Not sure if I O'ed or not because I have been sick which messed with my bbt. So I guess I will be peeing on OPKs for the time being.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? I can't wait until there's sunlight after 4:30pm! I am bracing myself for the crappy New England winter, but I remind myself that every day is another day closer to spring.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MMC @ 11 weeks in June 2018
Status: TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I made it through my due dates (the original one based off of LMP and the one my Dr. gave me when I was measuring behind). I did okay. I was hit with sadness a few times, but luckily I was able to keep busy. It made me sad that no one remembered. Not my mom, or my twin, or I don't think my DH even remembered until I brought it up. It taught me that if I know of someone IRL going through this, maybe text them and say you are thinking about them on that day. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just a simple text. I know we are all different though and some might not appreciate that though.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Testing on Saturday.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? Going to the dog park and just being outside more!
I'll be back for tags.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
@klmcguire Nooo to running in shorts! I just bought three new pairs of pants and I will be so sad when it's too warm to wear them.
@emeraldduchess I love the idea of a rainbow blanket. I wish I could knit. It seems like it would be really hard learn though.
@kgg2241 Good luck on Saturday!
AFM:
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Unexplained RPL. Three MMC's and two CP's.
Status: Benched until March.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are good. I'm glad the holidays are over and that I hit CD1. I feel like I can start moving forward.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Saline sono next Monday. Karyotype results were normal, as expected.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? The spring air and feeling like everything is new and fresh. I love having my windows open, even though it's not quite warm enough.
@shamrocandroll @emeraldduchess ugh, our winter hasn't even started yet 😂 I'm dreading it too.
@shamrocandroll I'm glad the holidays end has brought you some relief. I hope having DH around more helps the healing process for you.
@klmcguire our bodies can never do what we want. They always have to keeps us guessing. Hopefully you get back to a good point and have consistently from here on out.
@emeraldduchess hugs. So many should have in this mess.
@kgg2241 I'm glad the days passed with realative ease. I'm sorry that no one else remember (that happened here as well and its painful).
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 3 losses in 2018 (MMC, CP, MMC)
Status: TWW but WFAF
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? DH is either on board with my tattoo or accepts defeat. I was looking at designs on NYE and my dad saw over my shoulder and asked about it. DH said he'd rather me put research into where I'm going then the design. I also bought myself a ring on Etsy with the 3 birthstones and it should be arriving by the 3nd of this week.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still waiting on chromosomes (end of week). Aside from that nothing.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? 🦋💐🐝
@prpl11butterfly I love the idea of a tattoo, but don't know what I want and where I want it. I'm thinking little birds, maybe on my wrist. I'm sure your ring is beautiful. I hope you'll share a pic when it comes in.
@emeraldduchess I'm glad you're able to pass the time with some quality decompressing. I can't wait to see a picture.
@ruby696 I agree, new year calls for a fresh start... Or the best we can do, anyway. Testing is such a slippery slope. I'm glad the karyotype was normal but it's so hard having no answers. Like, really unfair. Sending hugs.
@klmcguire I'm sorry your body isn't doing what you wanted. I totally get just wanting to start fresh. I guess silver lining is your body is still trying to make babies??
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: SB @ 21 weeks, CP 5.5 weeks, MC 6.5 weeks, all in 2019
Status: TWW, 7DPO
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Over the holiday we officially passed one year since we lost our little girl. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, but it was disappointing that not one single person acknowledged it. I get people don't know what to say but it's sure a lonely place.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just testing this Friday
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? Wearing dresses again.
@prpl11butterfly & @nomangos23 Thanks ladies.
*TW loss pregnancy mentioned
Edited: to put some of what I said in a spoiler. It may have been a little much.
Also, re: your spoiler, I have the same issue, so my RE benched me for three months. I should have been giving my body time to heal. My problem is I'm impatient and it only ended up delaying me further. Ugh.
@emeraldduchess I’m adopting your theory, just one day closer to spring.
@prpl11butterfly well at least Dh isn’t saying no now, it’s something
@nomangos23 hugs
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: CP 5/18, twin MMC 8/18
Status: CD 17, I may have Od in the last two ddays.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I was extremely hopeful the first part of this cycle. Today I am feeling pretty negative. After two consecutive losses, it's hard to think of any different result.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? No testing. I am giving it another cycle or two being as healthy as possible. If no luck, I am going to find an RE.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most?longer days, warmer weather,not having to get all bundled up to leave the house. I find this time of year most depressing.
@ruby696 knitting isn't too hard once you get the hang of it. I actually learned by watching YouTube videos a few years ago.
@nomangos23 hugs to you. 💜 I'm sorry that no one reached out to you on your little girl's anniversary. Even if people probably remembered and just weren't sure how to go about reaching out, it's still tough that they didn't.
@prpl11butterfly I love that you're getting a ring with birthstones to remember your angels. I have a necklace with a tiny angel on it to remember mine. My mom got it for me right after our loss. It's nice to have something to wear close to my heart.
@kgg2241 hugs to you, too.
@klmcguire I give you credit just for getting out and running in the winter!
@kerco925 I am sorry you are struggling right now. Hugs for you.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
@klmcguire and @ruby696 props to you for running! I am so bad at running. I’m always envious of those who can.
@prpl11butterfly I really love your tattoo idea and am definitely glad you’re standing your ground with your H.
@kgg2241 hugs and love to you.
*TW* PG/BFP mentioned
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@kgg2241 & @nomangos23 I'm sorry to both of you that folks didn't share any words or motions of acknowledgment for your losses. That had to be hard. @nomangos23 You put it very well and quite compassionately, what a beautiful way to extend grace in such a sensitive situation.
@zuuls_mom It's good to see your update. Stay positive, sending positive light your way
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Late loss in October 2018, have been a scientist retracing all that could have contributed to it & how to hopefully avoid in the future.
Status: TWW, 7 DPO
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I was my crazy optimistic positive self about this cycle, and then yesterday & today the doubt has begun creeping in. This is my first experience w AL/scared brain, and it sucks.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Trying to hold out till Friday to POAS. If it's not positive then we move on to a mandatory semen analysis for DH, then begin the road down IUI. Time is of the essence due to age. I am also struggling this week with new feelings of mourning what could have been with our recent loss... I wonder if the new RE hadn't scared me about my age & low AMH levels, would we be rushing this process? Would I have grieved longer instead of jumping back on the TTGP train?
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? The weather doesn't change significantly here, thank goodness, because I despised all my east coast winters. Just looking forward to change, period.
@kerco925 Don't beat yourself up about your negative feelings. If that is what you're feeling right now, that is OKAY. Have you checked into a SAD light? I hear they can help with seasonal depression as it relates to natural sunlight.
@ruby696 Ugh, yeah. I have so many regrets for how quickly we tried again and again. I call 2018 the year of heartbreak. I wish I had done things differently but oh well. Only onward and upward from here, right?
@kerco925 You are totally fine. If you read my history, I am pretty much a debbie downer all the time. I try to remember that we are going through something pretty hard and this community is here to be a safe place to talk about how we are feeling.
@keikilove I completely understand how you feel. It is all so overwhelming. My RE told me if we aren't successful soon that I need to freeze some of my eggs. It adds a whole new dynamic to an already stressful process when you feel crunched for time. I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Big hugs.
@prpl11butterfly I always feel like it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission with DH lol, but I'm glad he is on board. I'm sure what every you decide will be beautiful.
@emeraldduchess I'm sorry you are having such a tough week. I remember thinking after my loss how much better I would feel when all these appointment milestones were through. I'm am finally there, so we will see if things get any easier now. I love that you are knitting. When you are ready, I'd love to see the blanket.
ETA: Thanks for all the support yesterday everyone. I am slow to respond and I know I missed people, but I really appreciate the nice words.
@kerco925 Feel what you have to feel. I'm sorry you're down but I totally get it, as I think everyone in here does.
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 2 early losses 8/17, 1/18
Status: CD 1
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Well at least CD1 explains my moodiness the past week. The past week has been really hard for me. I have been down and irritable since Christmas eve(the anniversary of when thing started), and next Wednesday is the anniversary of the D&C. I don't think that is what is bothering me the most, I think it's the inability to get pregnant since. This May will mark 2 years since we first started, and a full year this last try. The last two years have really put some strain on my marriage as well, DH and I decided on Sunday we should probably look into counseling to help of figure things out before they get to bad.
On a happy note, I've started keto and i'm feeling good physically. I also tried a class at the gym yesterday that I really think i'm going to like, which will help me stick with it.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing here, can't really afford to get things done with the RE so, just living on a prayer.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? Sunshine and warm weather. We've got some nice trails and hiking areas here and I love them in the spring and fall time. Winter I am a baby and don't like to be out and summer I will overheat.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
@shamrocandroll I'm glad you're feeling better and your body is getting back to normal with normal cycles.
@klmcguire I feel you on the perpetual first trimester. I've been pregnant 3 times since August with nothing to show for it. My RE has me benched for 2 cycles while we wait for testing but it actually helps ease my mind to let my body get back on track.
@emeraldduchess That's so wonderful about the blanket. I got a surprise package in the mail last week from one of my BFFs. It was a rainbow blanket with the months on it for when we get our rainbow baby. It made me cry.
@ruby696 Sorry you aren't getting answers. Hopefully the sonogram can shed some light.
@nomangos23 I'm so sorry you had to go though the anniversary and feel alone. It is very difficult to think that people don't remember or don't care. I just try to remind myself that most of the time people don't know what to say or feel like bringing it up is a painful reminder for us. In reality (at least for me) it makes me feel happy and validated to know my LOs aren't forgotten about. Hugs.
@kgg2241 so sorry you feel alone with it. It’s hard when we feel we’re the only ones who remember or care. Just know you aren’t alone. Big hugs.
@prpl11butterfly I just bought myself a keychain for remembrance as well. It just came last week and I love it.
@kerco925You aren't a Debbie downer. It's so hard to let yourself feel optimistic in case you get hurt again. I've been so guarded with everything that when I feel hope it hurts more. Fingers crossed for some good news for you in the next few days!
@zuuls_mom Keeping everything crossed for you! Hopefully everything will keep progressing beautifully.
Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 3 losses since August 2018
Status: WTO but benched for 2 cycles
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I had my first RE appointment yesterday. I'm feeling really optimistic and am in a good place right now. I'm getting full bloodwork done to check for hormone levels, AMH, clotting disorders, and karyotype. He's also ordering a saline sonogram as well as a SA for DH. The "good" thing is he thinks my whole issue a luteal phase defect caused by low progesterone (which I have history of) and that triggering ovulation and starting on suppositories prior to pregnancy will help us be successful. I really hope that the testing comes back normal and that we can proceed this route. DH is not on board to do more invasive treatments so this would be the ideal scenario.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Full bloodwork and saline sonogram after CD1 shows up.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? I just love being able to be outside. Going for walks and going to the park.
After my losses, I found myself picking up the pieces right away. Maybe a little too fast. I do have to remind myself that it's normal to grieve and be sad. It definitely sneaks up on me once in awhile.
@nomangos23 I am sorry that no one acknowledged the anniversary. I am glad it wasn’t as bad on you as you thought, I feel like the buildup is always worse.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Status: Benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Obviously struggling with the recent loss and the fact that we had to make the decision, whereas the other losses just happened. I had started to feel "safe" once we reached 12 weeks.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? We will meet again with our RE in a few weeks. Not sure where we'll go from there.
GTKY? What about spring are you looking forward to the most? No more snow!
I will catch up on threads and start posting again soon
@kindbytealikat Thank you for the kind & understanding words. Today is a new day & I'm feeling better. :-). I'm sorry for your challenges & frustrations over the last couple of years. That would put a strain on any relationship, sounds like a good idea to get counseling w DH.
@drdolittle22 Glad your appointment went well. That is the best scenario, fingers crossed the progesterone is the magic bullet!
@bakerstreetboys I am so so sorry for this most recent loss. What a tough decision you had to make. Very good choice to not "people" again for awhile, I am praying for peace for your heart. When, and only when, you are ready, try reading "It Starts With The Egg" if you haven't already. The author gives lots of tips about improving egg quality in a fairly short amount of time; there is a specific section about minimizing the most common trisomies. I will be thinking of and praying for you until I see your name pop up again.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018