@hestia14 and @ameliabedelia-2 I worked at Victoria’s Secret in my college days and our store manager was the meanest woman ever. She was definitely from that camp of being a woman boss means you have to be mean and cruel. But we had other managers in the store who were amazing women leaders. I remember when our main manager took maternity leave it was 3 months of heaven. The CEO of my company is an amazing woman who is calm, level-headed, and fair. And we have a great culture of leadership here. It is hard to think about leaving because it is so nice. Honestly, if I didn’t have the awesome leadership here, I wouldn’t even be considering coming back after maternity leave, but right now, I’m sad to be missing out on 3 months! It’s gonna be so hard to be away that long, but I know I want that time with my baby, too.
Because I haven't told anyone I'm not getting comments but a coworker who I have known since high school just stares at my stomach the whole time she is talking to me now. I am starting to understand what it must feel like to be a woman with a big chest:/
@mamanbebe I honestly cannot wait to breastfeed in public and just go off on anyone that tries to look at me cross eyed. I'm also going to crochet a boobie cap for baby
I have been really lucky. I've BF nearly everywhere in public and have never had anyone comment yet. Dr's offices, grocery stores, restaurants, hardware stores, parks, museums, malls, mechanic shop, dmv, you name it lol. But I'm waiting for it. So is H. He would stomp someone in the ground if they tried to make a scene about me feeding a baby in public.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@nopegoat, same here. I've never gotten a comment from anyone, anywhere. Actually, people have been really accommodating when they realize I am trying to breastfeed. Like the waiter will ask if I'd like my food kept warm until I finish, or someone will offer a chair when it's somewhere more crowded.
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@nopegoat@ameliabedelia-2 I'm not even talking about public breastfeeding, but rather that everywhere I went for the first year of my son's life, someone always had to ask me if I breastfed my son and give me their 2 cents on it. I don't know why people think they can ask that. It's like, "You don't know me and you want to ask me if I stuck my tit in someone's mouth? Cool. Very appropriate. Now tell me about your righteous opinions of whether I did it right or not."
I think the only one you has ever tried to give me unsolicited BFing advice was my MIL, who never BF nor had an infant, my H was adopted when he was 4.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Since we haven’t told anyone yet, I’m still getting the “are you pregnant yet” “are you worried it hasn’t happened yet” “have you tried to track your ovulation” I get that I just got married, but it none of anyone’s damn business. For the last 8 months I’ve been hearing these questions. Can’t wait to get them off my back, but I know the announcement will bring unwanted advice and unwanted belly touching.
Regarding people touching bellies: I read a story on TB from a woman who said when someone randomly touched her belly, she reached out and touched theirs. I'm so going to do this. With creepy eyes.
Yesterday at work: Younger male attorney: I really hope this isn't an appropriate question. I thought pregnant women were supposed to gain weight. You look like you lost. Me: That's because I throw up for an hour every day.
Also, I had so many horrible comments about formula feeding my first. My milk never came in. I hired lactation consultants, used hospital grade pumps etc. It made me fell like a failure. I will be formula feeding this one from day one. The first person who makes a comment will receive a mama bear response.
@ketomommy ugh the shamers! "Don't breastfeed in public but don't dare give that baby formula!" Like, what is a mom supposed to do?! Feed the babies any way that is necessary!
I just don't think anyone gets that when they try to feel your belly that really they are trying to feel your UTERUS. I fully plan on clarifying that with anyone who reaches for my ute. I've also yet to meet a man who has ever experienced exploratory touch by any stranger in public, why are women always common law property when it comes to this stuff? I've had so many strangers grab me or move clothing on my body to see tattoos in the past 18 years and it's really gross.
We were told we couldn't have kids. When my MIL found out, she told DH and then me "now you have to believe in the power of prayer because I've been praying for you."
Last I checked this baby wasn't conceived through immaculate conception!
@ameliabedelia-2 Ugh. She sounds like a wretched whore to work for.
I expect the comments at the end. I tend to gain 70-80lbs with pregnancy - not looking forward to it - and I will get tons of "are you sure there's only one!?!?" comments. Yup, just one, I'm just super fucking fat, but thanks for noticing.
@indulgentgypsy I’ve already been asked twice by close friends who are well meaning if “are you sure there is only one baby?” After showing them my very early protruding stomach at 10 weeks. They weren’t trying to be funny or insulting, and I think that bothered me more. It was a sincere acknowledgement that my stomach is way too big already. A fact that I am extremely self conscious about to begin with and terrified of what it will mean for the next 6 months. I am a thinly built person so I’m not sure my body can handle getting huge...
@julybaybay I was very petite, short with my first pregnancy and I managed to handle the weight (somewhat, I did have a hip issue later on). I managed to lose all but 10-15 lbs after the baby came, and a lot of that was because I didn't get off my bum and really watch what I ate/didn't exercise, etc.
Thanks @foodislove they say the last 10-15lbs are the hardest for everyone, so don’t be down on yourself. I worry about things like hip issues and also like tipping over! My lower body is not sturdy enough for like a 3ft belly sticking out front!
@julybaybay Lemme tell you something now - if you really start to get some hip pain, etc., advocate for a prescription for physical therapy. Don't leave til they give it to you. I had to go to PT for a month in third-tri because my right hip was misaligned. My attending OB at the time (not my regular) rolled her eyes a bunch and kept telling me it was sciatica. NOPE and NOPE. Could barely put pressure on my right leg from the pain. Finally got her to write me one and the PT who saw me was like, momma, your hip is in the wrong place...
They put it back (OMG the pain for the next 24 hrs...) and gave me exercises to do to strengthen and keep it in place. Worth it. My new OB already said she'll write me a prescription write away if I have any similar pain.
@julybaybay I'm 5'2, pretty petite, and have a short torso so my babies have nowhere to go but out. I get HUGE! I always get those comments too. I have a lot of aches and pains through pregnancy but it's kind of amazing what our bodies can handle.
You are growing a little person. Be kind to yourself. ❤️
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
My husband said something funny/dumb at dinner and my STEP MIL (who is horrible btw) told us he needed to get it together because she didn’t want her raising her grandchild a moron...
I had more rude comments with my first when I was working with people who didn't have filters lol! Like about how horrible labor was going to be (Oh, honey I only had one kid because it was so terrible), how big I looked, etc. When we told my in-laws, my mil said she had hoped I was pregnant but I had just gone sledding and roller skating recently and she didn't think I would do those things (she's a huge worrier). I replied "Oh yes I would!". No wonder my moods were all over the place with that pregnancy! I almost couldn't stand my in-laws and they really are great people!
@mamanessen yes, my sister in law said the same when we were expecting our second. We had been in the mountains together a week before we told them. She said "Oh yeah, I thought you had a little bump". I was like no, that's just bloat. I wasn't even 12 weeks yet🙄
Regarding people touching bellies: I read a story on TB from a woman who said when someone randomly touched her belly, she reached out and touched theirs. I'm so going to do this. With creepy eyes.
I did this also, to a woman who touched my belly in a convenience store.
We were told we couldn't have kids. When my MIL found out, she told DH and then me "now you have to believe in the power of prayer because I've been praying for you."
Last I checked this baby wasn't conceived through immaculate conception!
The Immaculate conception was actually the conception of Mary, who was herself conceived without original sin (in Mary's mother's womb). Often confused with the Incarnation, which was the conception of Jesus.
ETA: I realize this is me being nerdy but this has been a pet peeve since my CCD days.
@Cbeanz #catholicfacts The Nativity of Mary is Sept 8th. Hmmm... perhaps a link to why September babies are Virgos? I honestly have no idea which came first, the Ptolomaic Zodiac or the assignment of the Nativity of Mary in September, nor if they are actually related, but hey, it is fun to think about!
I’m the Greek, the constellation is Parthenos. And in Roman, it is Demeter. And usually has more to do with wheat harvesting. Just thought the idea of Virgin Mary being a Virgo was a little too coincidental.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one that has inappropriate families!
When I told my aunt she said, “I thought your stomach looked fatter than it ever has”. Nice, lol! I did gain quickly (it’s my third and I had been on keto prior but then all I craved and could keep down was bagels and crackers, so it didn’t take but a couple weeks of that to pack back on the weight I had lost).
this baby is our bonus baby (sounds better than oops) and we are not young (I’m 39 and my husband is 44). The comments we’ve gotten about our age is crazy! Yes, I know I’m older than dirt! Yes, my husband realizes he’s going to be in his sixties at our youngest child’s high school graduation——grrrrrrrr!!! Please quit doing the math and reminding us how old we are.
And yes, we do hope for a boy (we have two girls) but no my husband is not going to be mad if we don’t have a boy! We love our girls and another girl will be just as big of a blessing! And no, we will not be trying “for a boy” again if this one is a girl!
@angelkat79 I LOVE the term "Bonus Baby!" When we were expecting our third we called it our Victory Lap! We had a third girl, BTW, and no we weren't trying for a boy and no we're not trying for a boy this time either! We love our girls!
@angelkat79 +1 to loving the "bonus baby" phrase! Can I call our first a bonus baby? We were told we couldn't have kids, so while this is what we dreamed of, it's also kind of an oops!
Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread
But we had other managers in the store who were amazing women leaders. I remember when our main manager took maternity leave it was 3 months of heaven.
The CEO of my company is an amazing woman who is calm, level-headed, and fair. And we have a great culture of leadership here. It is hard to think about leaving because it is so nice. Honestly, if I didn’t have the awesome leadership here, I wouldn’t even be considering coming back after maternity leave, but right now, I’m sad to be missing out on 3 months! It’s gonna be so hard to be away that long, but I know I want that time with my baby, too.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Younger male attorney: I really hope this isn't an appropriate question. I thought pregnant women were supposed to gain weight. You look like you lost.
Me: That's because I throw up for an hour every day.
Also, I had so many horrible comments about formula feeding my first. My milk never came in. I hired lactation consultants, used hospital grade pumps etc. It made me fell like a failure. I will be formula feeding this one from day one. The first person who makes a comment will receive a mama bear response.
@ketomommy ugh the shamers! "Don't breastfeed in public but don't dare give that baby formula!" Like, what is a mom supposed to do?! Feed the babies any way that is necessary!
July 4th
Last I checked this baby wasn't conceived through immaculate conception!
They put it back (OMG the pain for the next 24 hrs...) and gave me exercises to do to strengthen and keep it in place. Worth it. My new OB already said she'll write me a prescription write away if I have any similar pain.
You are growing a little person. Be kind to yourself. ❤️
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
i was ready to throw hands!
I did this also, to a woman who touched my belly in a convenience store.
ETA: I realize this is me being nerdy but this has been a pet peeve since my CCD days.
Just thought the idea of Virgin Mary being a Virgo was a little too coincidental.
When I told my aunt she said, “I thought your stomach looked fatter than it ever has”. Nice, lol! I did gain quickly (it’s my third and I had been on keto prior but then all I craved and could keep down was bagels and crackers, so it didn’t take but a couple weeks of that to pack back on the weight I had lost).
this baby is our bonus baby (sounds better than oops) and we are not young (I’m 39 and my husband is 44). The comments we’ve gotten about our age is crazy! Yes, I know I’m older than dirt! Yes, my husband realizes he’s going to be in his sixties at our youngest child’s high school graduation——grrrrrrrr!!! Please quit doing the math and reminding us how old we are.
And yes, we do hope for a boy (we have two girls) but no my husband is not going to be mad if we don’t have a boy! We love our girls and another girl will be just as big of a blessing! And no, we will not be trying “for a boy” again if this one is a girl!